Found $873K, need help investing it

Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes

Bought a teardown at a tax auction, went in and knocked a hole in one of the kitchen walls, found three stud bays filled with plastic-wrapped used bills, mostly twenties but lots of fifties, hundreds. $873K total. There was a Glock lying on top of one of the stacks, bit rusted, been there a while.

How should I invest this money? Please help. I'm so confused.

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Joe SplitrockPro Member

Moderator

Rental Property Investor · Sioux Falls, SD · Member since 2015 · 9k+ posts · 18k+ votes

Your situation is more common than you may think. Lots of investors got started after finding money stuffed in walls.

First bit of advice is don't touch the gun. If you did, wipe off any finger prints and dispose of the gun in the closest river.

Second thing to realize is someone will be looking for that money. It may be 10-15 years before the come looking, but guaranteed they will be back. Finish the rehab quickly and sell the house.

Now the money is all yours! Here is how you make it grow:

1. Advertise publicly you have the money. This is the best way to attract investing advice. You will meet lots of nice people who are looking out for your best interests.

2. Hopefully you find some fist time syndicators or flippers that will agree to pay you huge returns. Is it risky? Yes, but do you want to get rich or what?

3. Avoid the stock market. Everyone knows real estate is the only guaranteed investment.

That is about it. Give your money to the first person offering great returns and watch it grow.

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Lynnette E.
Rental Property Investor · TN · Member since 2018 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Jim K.:
Originally posted by @Lynnette E.:
Jim, God has blessed you so you need to pass that blessing on to others. All of the wealthy Nigerian princes that e-mail me tell me that they continue to be blessed by god because they share their wealth.
I have several orphanages and other charities that I manage. I can invest your money in caring for orphans and widows too! I have several Nigerian princes who can attest to my charitable efforts. My charitable efforts are well known across the planet.
Once you allow me to invest this money god gave you in my many charitable efforts, god will see your good efforts and will continue to bless you with more wealth.
Also, for your information, my orphanages and other charitable organizations are non-profit and your gifts are totally tax deductible.
Also, I do NOT take ten percent of donations for my efforts. I am not greedy. 5% is fine.

Bless you Sister Lynnette and all the good you do. Please put me down for a seed donation of $1, in the name of the All-Holy Virgin Mary and all the Saints. Just as soon as it is returned to me a hundredfold, as the Good Book promises, you can expect Dollar Number Two.

Peace be unto you and with your spirit. Good luck with the Nigerian princes.

Oh no, bless you Brother Jim! Your generous donation will allow me to buy a pack of matches so that the poor orphans may roast the tarantulas before eating them. They are so grateful, thankful. Have you ever tried to eat a raw tarantula? Very hard to open your mouth wide enough as they wiggle and move those legs! Their quality of life has increased tenfold due to your generous donation. They are forever in your debt!

1 Reply
Alex KhanPro Member
Specialist · Southeast Michigan · Member since 2015 · 300 posts · 244 votes
6y
Detroit! Detroit Detroit! Shoot me an Email Or call sometime or come on down, We usually host biweekly/ Monthly Tours For our Clients investing in Detroit and The surrounding Areas, We also do ALL CASH deals in Wayne County and Oakland County If you want the best BANG for your Buck then Michigan is the Spot right now!
248-979-8119
0 Reply
Caleb Heimsoth
Rental Property Investor · Durham, NC · Member since 2016 · 7k+ posts · 7k+ votes
6y
@Jim K. Wire me the 873k. I’ll invest it for you. Will PM you wiring information. Thanks
0 Reply
Joe Cassandra
Rental Property Investor · Woodstock, GA · Member since 2017 · 517 posts · 772 votes
6y
It's actually a hidden message.
See the 873 is a clue...a clue to a bigger treasure.
I have on good Intel that 873 is the code you need to break into the backroom of the National Archves Museum in DC.
It isn't easy, but worth the risk.
873 gets you in.
There comes the tricky part.
The gun weighs exactly as much as the Declaration of Independence.
You must swap the gun with the Declaration of Independence. If you don't it trips the sensors, thus one bullet in the gun allows you to shoot yourself in the leg and feign a hit and run.
Maybe the Feds will buy it...maybe the won't. How much more money do you want?
If you manage to switch it perfectly, you must take it to Johnny in PA who will show you the map on the back of the Declaration to show you where the rest of the treasure is.
DM me if you want to partner up on this.
2 Reply
Jordan MoorheadBusiness Member
Real Estate Agent · Austin, TX · Member since 2015 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
@Jim K. first, you're a lucky sob. I'm sure the glock still works. Second, invest in yourself and what you know.
[email protected]512-888-9122
The Moorhead Team5140 Reviews
Website View Page
0 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Alex Khan:
Detroit! Detroit Detroit! Shoot me an Email Or call sometime or come on down, We usually host biweekly/ Monthly Tours For our Clients investing in Detroit and The surrounding Areas, We also do ALL CASH deals in Wayne County and Oakland County If you want the best BANG for your Buck then Michigan is the Spot right now!

Hey Alex, Imma need a brochure before I can decide. Maybe you have some keychains and pens to send? We're all about the swag up in here.

1 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Lynnette E.:
Originally posted by @Jim K.:
Originally posted by @Lynnette E.:
Jim, God has blessed you so you need to pass that blessing on to others. All of the wealthy Nigerian princes that e-mail me tell me that they continue to be blessed by god because they share their wealth.
I have several orphanages and other charities that I manage. I can invest your money in caring for orphans and widows too! I have several Nigerian princes who can attest to my charitable efforts. My charitable efforts are well known across the planet.
Once you allow me to invest this money god gave you in my many charitable efforts, god will see your good efforts and will continue to bless you with more wealth.
Also, for your information, my orphanages and other charitable organizations are non-profit and your gifts are totally tax deductible.
Also, I do NOT take ten percent of donations for my efforts. I am not greedy. 5% is fine.

Bless you Sister Lynnette and all the good you do. Please put me down for a seed donation of $1, in the name of the All-Holy Virgin Mary and all the Saints. Just as soon as it is returned to me a hundredfold, as the Good Book promises, you can expect Dollar Number Two.

Peace be unto you and with your spirit. Good luck with the Nigerian princes.

Oh no, bless you Brother Jim! Your generous donation will allow me to buy a pack of matches so that the poor orphans may roast the tarantulas before eating them. They are so grateful, thankful. Have you ever tried to eat a raw tarantula? Very hard to open your mouth wide enough as they wiggle and move those legs! Their quality of life has increased tenfold due to your generous donation.
Blessed are the spider eaters, for theirs is the kingdom of Arachne.

0 Reply
Gregory Calandra
Member since 2019 · 3 posts · 1 vote
6y
@Jim K. You can invest in my Venmo anytime! @greg-calandra.
0 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Caleb Heimsoth:
@Jim K. Wire me the 873k. I’ll invest it for you. Will PM you wiring information. Thanks

Where you been, Caleb? You still driving the Camry?

1 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Gregory Calandra:
@Jim K. You can invest in my Venmo anytime! @greg-calandra.

LOL, I'll invest in your Venmama first.
0 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Jordan Moorhead:
@Jim K. first, you're a lucky sob. I'm sure the glock still works. Second, invest in yourself and what you know.

Thanks for the advice, Jordan.

0 Reply
Steve Faucette
Rental Property Investor · Baldwin, NY · Member since 2015 · 69 posts · 21 votes
6y
lol
0 Reply
Joseph A.
New Rochelle, NY · Member since 2018 · 235 posts · 151 votes
6y
Get the biggest commercial washing machine you can find to clean the money, toss the gun in the nearest river, sell the house, leave town, change your name, enjoy the money as you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life......
0 Reply
Jai Reddy
Edmond, OK · Member since 2012 · 456 posts · 270 votes
6y
@Jim K.
I think you’ve been successful in starting yet another ‘I have $1M, what should I do?’ thread to bring out all the varied advice on OPM.
Tell me you really did find this cash!
0 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Joseph A.:
Get the biggest commercial washing machine you can find to clean the money, toss the gun in the nearest river, sell the house, leave town, change your name, enjoy the money as you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life......

I think you're a bit confused about how money laundering works...

0 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Jai Reddy:
@Jim K.
I think you’ve been successful in starting yet another ‘I have $1M, what should I do?’ thread to bring out all the varied advice on OPM.
Tell me you really did find this cash!

It was right there next to a cask of amontillado.
1 Reply
Marlen Weber
Specialist · Plano, TX · Member since 2020 · 2k+ posts · 861 votes
6y
Not too shabby. Great news to hear, specially in 2020. Tons of great advice on here. Keep us posted.
0 Reply
Joseph A.
New Rochelle, NY · Member since 2018 · 235 posts · 151 votes
6y
Originally posted by @Jim K.:
Originally posted by @Joseph A.:
Get the biggest commercial washing machine you can find to clean the money, toss the gun in the nearest river, sell the house, leave town, change your name, enjoy the money as you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life......

I think you're a bit confused about how money laundering works...

Sorry didn't didn't take the money laundering masterclass 🤷🏿‍♂️
0 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Marlen Weber:
Not too shabby. Great news to hear, specially in 2020. Tons of great advice on here. Keep us posted.

"Eloi, eloi, lama sabachthani?"

1 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Joseph A.:
Originally posted by @Jim K.:
Originally posted by @Joseph A.:
Get the biggest commercial washing machine you can find to clean the money, toss the gun in the nearest river, sell the house, leave town, change your name, enjoy the money as you look over your shoulder for the rest of your life......

I think you're a bit confused about how money laundering works...

Sorry didn't didn't take the money laundering masterclass 🤷🏿‍♂️

Yeah, they don't have a Bigger Pockets Ultimate Guide on it, either.

0 Reply
Derrick F.
Rental Property Investor · Washington, DC · Member since 2020 · 17 posts · 4 votes
6y
@Jim K. DEACTIVATE YOUR ACCOUNT AND GO ANONYMOUS IMMEDIATELY.
0 Reply
Mark Gauger
Member since 2018 · 34 posts · 54 votes
6y
@Jim K. Congratulations on the new windfall! I'm going to send you a PM on an amazing opportunity that is just too good to keep to myself.

I'm running a venture that syndicates flipping yurts using the BRRRR strategy as medium term rentals to traveling nurses with dogs on the 4% rule in A class hoods out of state using seller financing on pre-foreclosures with no money down and 20% cash on cash returns plus over 12% appreciation per day. With you as a new equity partner in my series LLC we can both velocify our money faster than Starman's orbit around the sun!

Your Greek retirement will be just around the corner!
2 Reply
Zeke Tessmer
Rental Property Investor · Australia · Member since 2019 · 36 posts · 44 votes
6y
I want in on the Yurts!!
0 Reply
Sylvia B.
Rental Property Investor · Douglas County, MO · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
6y
@Jim K. I am very concerned for you! That is dirty money. Dirty dirty dirty! Do not sully yourself or your investments by using it. Package it up and mail it to me, I will dispose of it properly for you. It may be dangerous, but as your friend I will take the risk.
1 Reply
Jim K.
OP
Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Sylvia B.:
@Jim K. I am very concerned for you! That is dirty money. Dirty dirty dirty! Do not sully yourself or your investments by using it. Package it up and mail it to me, I will dispose of it properly for you. It may be dangerous, but as your friend I will take the risk.

So big of you, Sylvia, as always. Thank you for being a friend.
1 Reply

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