I'd call around to more local banks. Sterling National should do it, and maybe First National Bank of LI. Past that you should call all the local banks. Ridgewood, Flushing, Emigrant, etc. If those don't work, I can recommend a Mortgage Broker who should be able to get it done.
I'm sorry for your loss. I would definitely suggest to talk to other Banks and Mortgage Brokers to see if you can get a 30 year Loan. There are also great programs out there for First Time Home Buyers if this is your first purchase.
Feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need any advice.
I was going to say that you should consider investing out of state but I see you mentioned that you had a bad experience. If you ever re-consider definitely keep in touch. My experience has been that your money can get a lot further through out of state multi-family investments.
Thanks for all the advice. I will start calling other banks. I did have a meeting with two financial advisors. I tried explaining that I want to open a self directed IRA. So that I could invest in real estate. They didn't think it was a good idea Saying real estate in today market is to risky. I don't agree. I think they prefer for me to keep all my money with them. Does anyone know of some good IRA out there.