Am I being too uptight in this situation?

Rental Property Investor · New York, NY · Member since 2011 · 956 posts · 510 votes

My tenants are a couple - she calls me “hon”, He calls me “babe.”. Every time they do that , I mention my name is marci .
I like to maintain a professional profile which is why I correct them .
not a big deal. Just curious what you would do.

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Mike Dymski

Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes

I likely would not care if they were good residents.

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Chris SeveneyBusiness Member
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Investor · VA · Member since 2015 · 21k+ posts · 19k+ votes
3y
@Marci Stein
I would just let be more blunt and say, can you please call me Marci, I know you are not being disrespectful by calling me hon and babe but I appreciate it if you could call me Marci as it makes me uncomfortable.
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Joe VilleneuvePro Member
Plymouth, MI · Member since 2013 · 13k+ posts · 19k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Marci Stein:

My tenants are a couple - she calls me “hon”, He calls me “babe.”. Every time they do that , I mention my name is marci .
I like to maintain a professional profile which is why I correct them .
not a big deal. Just curious what you would do.
Call them dufus, and see if they get it.
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Mike Dymski
Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
3y
I likely would not care if they were good residents.
9 Reply
David M.
Morris County, NJ · Member since 2020 · 5k+ posts · 2k+ votes
3y
@Marci Stein
Not to "profile," but it would certainly depend on their background. Do you think they are doing so in a derogatory fashion?
For example, back in my "day job," there as a push against sexual harassment. One aspect was physical contact is not considered to be allowed... etc.... Well, one of our co-workers is southern-type person who is a hugger. That's just part of her "cultural makeup" for lack of a better term. So "company policy" be damned, if she wants to give a cordial / greeting hug, so be it...
I suppose same but different how the mideast culture the males give each other pecks on the cheek as greetings I'm to understand.
That being said, its a tough call as whether to impose or follow your norm vs their norm... Hope this helps, good luck.
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Adam Martin
Rental Property Investor · Member since 2020 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
3y
As long as it isn't said in a derogatory way I wouldn't make this a big deal, there is far worse they could be calling you. I really doubt you are the only person this person calls hun or babe and it is just what they call everyone. I get wanting to be professional but everyone's version of professional is different and they most likely don't see themselves as doing anything wrong. I see you are posted out of NY but my guess is they moved up from the south and this is fairly normal down here depending on where you are at.
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Nathan GesnerBusiness Member
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Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Marci Stein:

If it bothers you that much, then you need to draw the line.
"My name is Marci. I do not appreciate you calling me by nicknames, particularly nicknames of a more romantic nature. Please stop."
The other option, and my preference, is to let it go. When their lease is up, don't renew them and move on.
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Todd Jones
Member since 2023 · 243 posts · 199 votes
3y
Take it to the next level. Tia is a business and your providing them a home to live in.

They should be addressing you by Ms. Stein. Ensures you’re not perceived as sensitive but professional. Be firm and look them in the eye.
No first names to ensure consistent professionalism. Also, keep small talk to light conversations. Not revealing too much personal information. They will actually appreciate it internally as they will feel if something happens, you will address it with 0% drama/side talk.
If they call me by my first name (which never happened), I say “Mr. XYZ” is fine”. If they reply with a funny comment, don’t sell it and move forward with the topic.
…but since you already asked them to call you Marci, just keep reiterating it. Sure, “hun” may be a cultural thing on their end. But “babe” is not. Its culture thing on your end (and others) not to be called “hon” or “babe”.
If they keep doing it, ask “Call me Marci. What’s going on?”
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JD MartinBusiness Member
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Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
3y
I care about three things:
1. Rent is paid in full, on time, all the time.
2. House is not damaged and maintained properly.
3. Tenants don't cause trouble with the neighbors, city, or myself.
Outside of those things I wouldn't care less what they called me. They can call me SugarPops or Jackass or that F'nSOB as long as they follow those 3 rules.
I also have a "no PITA" policy. If I didn't like what they were calling me, but they were following the 3 rules, they'd have a nice healthy rent increase at renewal for my trouble or I'd just give them their walking papers.
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Mohammed Rahman
Real Estate Broker · New York, NY · Member since 2020 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
3y
Hi @Marci Stein - mixed bag of responses in the comments.
You're the best person to judge how to go about this, everyone will be different.
Me personally, I don't care as long as the tenants are good people and pay on time. The nicknames you mentioned I've also gotten from clients that are older.
If it gives you a bad feeling, though, there's nothing wrong with putting your foot down.
Context matters more in these situations - use your best judgement.
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Marci Stein
OP
Rental Property Investor · New York, NY · Member since 2011 · 956 posts · 510 votes
3y
Such very interesting replies by everyone. My concern is if they feel we are on such a familiar basis to call me hon and babe ,
they might think it’s OK to take other actions on their own, i.e. paint the walls, have a friend move in. , be rent late,
I agree- This is a business and rules need to be followed. addressing me in a professional way makes it more likely they will do everything else accordingly , i think.
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JD MartinBusiness Member
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Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Marci Stein:

Such very interesting replies by everyone. My concern is if they feel we are on such a familiar basis to call me hon and babe ,
they might think it’s OK to take other actions on their own, i.e. paint the walls, have a friend move in. , be rent late,
I agree- This is a business and rules need to be followed. addressing me in a professional way makes it more likely they will do everything else accordingly , i think.

No it won't. Bums are bums. How often do you interact with these people anyway? I have tenants that I talk to at most once a year. Rarely do I have more than a few sentences with any tenant over the course of a year. Almost never do I see one in person.
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Greg M.
Rental Property Investor · Los Angeles, CA · Member since 2017 · 2k+ posts · 5k+ votes
3y
I have a female tenant that calls my wife Hon. One tenant misspells my name EVERY time she texts me. One tenant I allow to come to my house to drop off the rent in cash. Every time she is there, she sees my dog and unironically says "what a cute kitty". FYI, my dog does not self-identify as a cat and would be an insanely scary-sized cat. I'd prefer to change all these things, but at the end of the day, if this is the worst thing that happened with my rentals, I'm in an awesome position. @JD Martin nailed it. Pay me, keep my place clean, and don't cause problems for me. Anything else is a bonus.
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Mark Cruse
Investor · Fort Washington, MD · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
3y
No one can say you are being uptight if this offends you. There are probably some who it would bother and some who could care less. For me, I have zero issue with stuff like that. Its more or less a personal and sometimes cultural gesture. I have never heard it not used as a term of endearment and I hear it often through navigating regular society. For my business the most important aspect is maintaining a good relationship with tenants. As stated, something like that is nothing to me but even if it was, Id just eat it to keep intact a great operation provided they are good/solid/reliable tenants. If they are a secure spoke in my cash flow wheel its critical. so if it's not meant to be insulting I wont let that get in the way. Man, I have been offered sexual gestures before so nothing like this can shake me. LOL But as I mentioned before, no one can determine this for you. If it really bothers you maybe you have to do something. It's your business and you don't deserve to be uncomfortable if you can mitigate it. This reminds me of when an elderly southern woman in the Congressional cafeteria used to call everyone baby and one congressman filed a complaint. LOL
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Timothy Howdeshell
Investor · Fresno, CA · Member since 2016 · 222 posts · 237 votes
3y
Are these just southern slang type of people? As in, "More shuga in ya coffee, hun?"
I find that endearing so wouldn't bother me at all! It comes down to the context in the moment and your personal preference.
If it really bothers you, let them know more directly. If they still insist, you were probably right to be offended in the first place.
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Bud Gaffney
Rental Property Investor · Boston, MA · Member since 2019 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
3y
@Marci Stein answering your subject line…Yes.
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V.G JasonPro Member
Investor · Member since 2022 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Marci Stein:

My tenants are a couple - she calls me “hon”, He calls me “babe.”. Every time they do that , I mention my name is marci .
I like to maintain a professional profile which is why I correct them .
not a big deal. Just curious what you would do.

Get a property manager, you're bound to get crossed up and have them come at you legally. And if you're truly renting out property in New York, good luck with those laws.
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Bruce WoodruffPro Member
Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
3y
I think you're getting upset over a small issue. There are a lot of people who use those terms out of a cultural habit..... Maybe New Yorkers are too uptight, I dunno....but I like it when waitresses call me 'honey' or 'darlin'......
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Heidi M.
Rental Property Investor · Reno, NV · Member since 2013 · 77 posts · 31 votes
3y
@Marci Stein. I’ve noticed this is a new trend. I have a couple of employees that run around calling everyone sweetie and hon. It’s annoying and when I was much younger it was considered disrespectful and sexist. I’m with you on this and I honestly would not renew.
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Greg M.
Rental Property Investor · Los Angeles, CA · Member since 2017 · 2k+ posts · 5k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Heidi M.:

@Marci Stein. I’ve noticed this is a new trend. I have a couple of employees that run around calling everyone sweetie and hon. It’s annoying and when I was much younger it was considered disrespectful and sexist. I’m with you on this and I honestly would not renew.
Would you really non-renew? You honestly would accept turnover costs and loss of rent during vacancy because one of your CUSTOMERS refers to you in a term you don't care for?

I'm not picking on you in particular, but people need to get thicker skin and stop obsessing over meaningless stupid s**t and pretending it's a game changer.
Imagine that your life is so privileged that someone calling you "hon" is one of your biggest concerns that needs to be addressed. Not worrying about putting food on the table, or healthcare for your family, or having to go fight in a war to save your homeland, but rather someone innocently called you "hon".
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Bruce WoodruffPro Member
Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Greg M.:

Quote from @Heidi M.:

@Marci Stein. I’ve noticed this is a new trend. I have a couple of employees that run around calling everyone sweetie and hon. It’s annoying and when I was much younger it was considered disrespectful and sexist. I’m with you on this and I honestly would not renew.
Would you really non-renew? You honestly would accept turnover costs and loss of rent during vacancy because one of your CUSTOMERS refers to you in a term you don't care for?

I'm not picking on you in particular, but people need to get thicker skin and stop obsessing over meaningless stupid s**t and pretending it's a game changer.
Imagine that your life is so privileged that someone calling you "hon" is one of your biggest concerns that needs to be addressed. Not worrying about putting food on the table, or healthcare for your family, or having to go fight in a war to save your homeland, but rather someone innocently called you "hon".

First world problems. Thin skins. Privileged. Entitled.
It's where we are. my friend........sigh....
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Tommy Parker
Property Manager · Charlotte, NC · Member since 2022 · 269 posts · 135 votes
3y
Uhh yeah address it more directly like others are saying.
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Heidi M.
Rental Property Investor · Reno, NV · Member since 2013 · 77 posts · 31 votes
3y
@Greg M. Being a women in the workforce dealing with these kinds of sexist remarks for the past 40 years….yes, I would. There’s nothing privileged about it. It is flat out inappropriate to call a woman business partner sweetie, hun, babe or whatever cutesy name you can think of . Where I am from it is not a cultural thing….but very cringy. In the workplace we now have rules against this sort of thing. The OP has already asked to be called by her name and they did not comply. This is a business, and it’s ok to have expectations to be addressed by your name….
As far as turnovers go I am not at all concerned by them at all. My units rent within days and I am able to get a unit ready within a week or two.
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Michael SmytheBusiness Member
Real Estate Agent · Metro Detroit · Member since 2023 · 4k+ posts · 3k+ votes
3y
You are not going to survive as a landlord if your skin is this thin. Hire a PMC!
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Jeremiah Dunakin
Member since 2022 · 186 posts · 192 votes
3y
pay a property manager 10%
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Carlos Ptriawan
Member since 2019 · 7k+ posts · 4k+ votes
3y
Quote from @Heidi M.:

@Marci Stein. I’ve noticed this is a new trend. I have a couple of employees that run around calling everyone sweetie and hon. It’s annoying and when I was much younger it was considered disrespectful and sexist. I’m with you on this and I honestly would not renew.

In pro-woke culture inside California corporate culture calling everyone hon is recipe for HR calls LOL

But personally since I'm anti woke I care less if people said this and that
There're just too many weird thing these days even why company interfere into that basic thing, I don't know too.
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