In Search Of Real Estate Jokes!

Specialist · Portland, OR · Member since 2020 · 97 posts · 109 votes

I am drafting a speech and looking for a funny, short real estate joke to catch the audience right at the start. Does anyone have a good Real Estate joke? (audience of commercial brokers)

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Real Estate Agent · Chattanooga, TN · Member since 2021 · 29 posts · 22 votes

Quote from @Celia Moore:

I am drafting a speech and looking for a funny, short real estate joke to catch the audience right at the start. Does anyone have a good Real Estate joke? (audience of commercial brokers)

Q: How many estate agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None! “The lightbulb is in excellent working order and comprised of a beautiful retro teardrop illuminator, offering original glass and metal features and located very centrally in the middle of the room. Local amenities abound and the property is serviced by a newly refurbished power cord connecting it to the ceiling. Nearby is a tasteful power switch to enable the purchaser to switch it on and off. Leasehold with share of power supply with lovingly improved wattage by the current owners. Would suit a professional couple or family looking for more light.”

I'll see myself out...

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Scott WolfPro Member
Lender · Boca Raton, FL · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 958 votes
2y
Not a joke, but my dad(who is a real estate broker) always said, "I'm an expensive cab driver, if I take you to the right place, I'll get a big fare!"
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Alan F.
Flipper/Rehabber · CA · Member since 2023 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
2y
Quote from @Celia Moore:

I am drafting a speech and looking for a funny, short real estate joke to catch the audience right at the start. Does anyone have a good Real Estate joke? (audience of commercial brokers)

One agent asks another "I'm thinking about going to work for a different broker, how many work at your brokerage? About half"
Sorry it's all I got
Hopefully Scott Mac sees this thread
Best of luck on your speech!
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Real Estate Agent · Chattanooga, TN · Member since 2021 · 29 posts · 22 votes
2y
Quote from @Celia Moore:

I am drafting a speech and looking for a funny, short real estate joke to catch the audience right at the start. Does anyone have a good Real Estate joke? (audience of commercial brokers)

Q: How many estate agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None! “The lightbulb is in excellent working order and comprised of a beautiful retro teardrop illuminator, offering original glass and metal features and located very centrally in the middle of the room. Local amenities abound and the property is serviced by a newly refurbished power cord connecting it to the ceiling. Nearby is a tasteful power switch to enable the purchaser to switch it on and off. Leasehold with share of power supply with lovingly improved wattage by the current owners. Would suit a professional couple or family looking for more light.”
I'll see myself out...
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Shafi Noss
Lender · Nationwide · Member since 2018 · 571 posts · 310 votes
2y
“Architects design buildings that kill people; engineers design buildings that make people want to kill themselves.”
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Chris SeveneyBusiness Member
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Investor · VA · Member since 2015 · 21k+ posts · 19k+ votes
2y
@Celia Moore
I would go the self deprecation route
“I was going to start with a joke, and then realized you all let me come up here to speak”
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Amy Breen
Investor · Member since 2024 · 7 posts · 14 votes
2y
Joke writing is a hugely underappreciated art. A lot of what makes a joke funny is how you deliver it, your tone of voice, etc. This is part of what makes standup comedy a slightly different skill set than just writing them out because, in the written word, you don't have the benefit of hearing the tone of voice, facial expressions, or anything else about the delivery.
So, you can make a lot of things funny, especially in a sarcastic way, if you focus not just on the words but on how you deliver them.
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Andrew SyriosPro Member
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Residential Real Estate Investor · Kansas City, MO · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 5k+ votes
2y
Here's a good list. https://inboundrem.com/real-estate-jokes/
Podcast Guest on Show #121
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Member since 2024 · 10 posts · 2 votes
2y
Why did the real estate agent bring a ladder to the showing? Because he heard the property had 'high ceilings'! 😂

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