Why are people such flakes? Why use a mentor?

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Why are people such flakes? Why use a mentor?

Benjamin Barredo
Wholesaler · Knoxville, TN · Member since 2016 · 247 posts · 76 votes

okay, I've been positive Pete for weeks upon weeks, I'm a US Marine and aggression comes natural do this was coming eventually (hope you don't mind but we all need to vent sometimes).

Why in the Hell are people so unreliable? ! I didn't go out of my way asking these people to mentor me or coach me. In both situations they came to me and asked to help me with something specific and then offered to help even more than originally planned. In short, they offered to be my coach and to be available. Then in both situations these guys made appointments with me to do this or that (usually the initial conference about how we would approach everything) and they go dark! 

It's not like I'm begging them for help. I'm not chasing them with texts or calls every thirty minutes all day. So what the Hell? 

Is this normal for real estate investors who make their lively hood on being dependable to act towards everyone or am I the butt-end of a joke that everyone else is in on but me? Is this what I have to look forward to in this community? 

And the funny thing is both these guys are established and licensed. They're professionals! At least on paper. 

With that being said, screw it. I'm not waiting on them to give me sound advice or fill in the blanks. I'm diving in head first and taking action solo. I'll call a lawyer and keep him up to date in case I see trouble in the water. At least he knows he'll get paid and shouldn't jump ship. Then again I offered to split my earnings with those "mentors" and look what happened. 

And I know you're out there. I see your posts! 

Okay, I'm done and fine now. 

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Rick H.
Lender · Greater LA/Orange County area, CA · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y

Funny thread. 

A confused mind says 'no' and you do not possess the skills necessary to determine which ones to work with and which ones to avoid.

Yeah, people are flakey. You have no idea how much you still gave to learn about sales and people, in addition to all the other aspects of real estate. 

Here's a newsflash: It ain't them. You will not change people's character. If anyone must change, it must be YOU!

This ought to be required reading for every bonehead who thinks everything they need they can learn from a free online discussion forum.

I've been at this game for nearly (40) years and still invest a great deal in my education, both in monetary terms and time. It's the best return on my investment that I know of. 

You'd do well to channel that anger and frustration towards gaining the knowledge that you currently lack by reading and studying the classics from: Napoleon Hill, Dale Carnegie, Zig Zigler, John Schaub, Mike Cantu and others, even Tony Robbins. Whatever it takes to give you the skills, competence, confidence and attitude that it takes to DO this business, year after year.

Or, you'll become another statistic of people who couldn't cut it in RE.

We all have times of frustration with others. This game us much more about how to maintain the attitude in the face of adversity than most understand. 

One way or another, you're going to get an education. 

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  • Jon Q.
    Investor · Berkeley, CA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 713 votes
    9y
    Originally posted by @Benjamin Barredo:

    okay, I've been positive Pete for weeks upon weeks, I'm a US Marine and aggression comes natural do this was coming eventually (hope you don't mind but we all need to vent sometimes).

    Why in the Hell are people so unreliable? ! I didn't go out of my way asking these people to mentor me or coach me. In both situations they came to me and asked to help me with something specific and then offered to help even more than originally planned. In short, they offered to be my coach and to be available. Then in both situations these guys made appointments with me to do this or that (usually the initial conference about how we would approach everything) and they go dark! 

    It's not like I'm begging them for help. I'm not chasing them with texts or calls every thirty minutes all day. So what the Hell? 

    Is this normal for real estate investors who make their lively hood on being dependable to act towards everyone or am I the butt-end of a joke that everyone else is in on but me? Is this what I have to look forward to in this community? 

    And the funny thing is both these guys are established and licensed. They're professionals! At least on paper. 

    With that being said, screw it. I'm not waiting on them to give me sound advice or fill in the blanks. I'm diving in head first and taking action solo. I'll call a lawyer and keep him up to date in case I see trouble in the water. At least he knows he'll get paid and shouldn't jump ship. Then again I offered to split my earnings with those "mentors" and look what happened. 

    And I know you're out there. I see your posts! 

    Okay, I'm done and fine now. 

    I agree with Jay...but you don't need a coach. Just develop a very specific investment goal, read books, join a local REI group, formulate a definite plan/strategy to meet your goal, develop self-confidence, surround yourself with others doing it, then TAKE ACTION!

    There's no free lunch and no one works for free so don't expect anyone to give you anything of value unless you somehow give them something in return (i.e. pay for it).

    1Reply
  • Jon Q.
    Investor · Berkeley, CA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 713 votes
    9y
    Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs:

    @Ruth Bayang  yes licensed assistant to a top producer is one of the best ways to learn the industry.. you get leads handed to you.. you do deals based on the top producers creds... 

    one can look for brokers that are doing more commercial work if that is what interest the new comer.

    wholesaling is a very regional pursuit.. its a much bigger opp in the areas were there are more homes than people.. ergo more distressed or junker homes that traditional realtors don't want to fool with.

    but on the west coast its a pretty tough row to hoe  and for most a complete waste of time and energy. far better to make money in a JOB and then invest.

    I see these folks post all the time HEY i want to wholesale to earn cash to then buy and hold.. so going into it they really don't want this as a career its a stop gap.. and a tough one.. whereas getting into real estate as a licensed agent either commerical or resi or what have you if you make it its a lifelong career that opens so many doors for you.. far more than sitting at home pumping out letters  LOL

    I don't know. Working as an assistant will train you to be an assistant.

    I think the best way to learn is to have faith you'll find a way around whatever happens, but just get started (i.e. the sink or swim method) en-route to your goal. If it's investing in SFR or MF, just focus on that and get started! The quickest route to achieving something is a straight line.

    Formulate a definite plan, have faith in yourself and your ability to achieve what you want, feel and see yourself doing it (visual motor rehearsal), then take action! 

    Plan + Faith + Emotion + Action = All Human Achievement

    Doing anything new is never, at first, easy....but...

    It is that simple.

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  • Jacqueline Coombs
    Rental Property Investor · Grand Rapids, MI · Member since 2016 · 262 posts · 205 votes
    9y
    Interesting post and answers from both ends of the spectrum. I feel ya, OP. I too, was disappointed with mentors when I started out. Those people also initially reached out to me and I was happy to have their help up until I got stood-up for appointments and experienced their general "flake-out", Lol. With more education and experience under my belt, I now realize they were probably hoping I would become a bird-dog for them. It would have been nice if they would have been honest about that upfront. I'm also pretty sure I told them I wanted to start buying rental property and was not interested in wholesaling. Anyway, I kept going with my education, kept asking lots of questions and managed to meet my current mentor who is also my realtor and JV partner. He is one of those rare people who keeps his word, is on-time for appointments and deals straight. I am a big proponent of educational books and podcasts but not necessarily paid coaching. Mostly, I have learned simply by doing which I believe to be the most valuable education I have gotten. Thanks for the post!
    1Reply
  • Jay HinrichsBusiness Member
    Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes
    9y

    @Jon Q.  i have personally worked with or seen many assistance once trained move on to do great things its in my opinon  a great incubator.. but not be good for all

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    1Reply
  • David Faulkner
    Investor · Orange County, CA · Member since 2015 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    9y

    You are way too young and new in your investment career to be this jaded already, and all you've run across so far it seems are flakes. Just wait until you get past the flakes and onto the thieves, incompetents and conmen, and believe me they are out there and it is only a matter of time until you hit one and they take you for some of your hard earned money. The thing of it is, yes, all these flakey, dishonest, and incompetent people are out there in mass, it's true, but there are also many great, honest, passionate, and incredibly talented folks out there too, and you will need to sort through 100 of the first kind to get to 1 of the second kind, but finding that 1 is worth it. Find enough of those 1's, learn from them, and eventually you can be 1 too. 

    In the meantime the trick is, and admittedly this is a constant challenge for me if I'm going to be honest, to be on the lookout for the first kind but don't get so jaded that you forget about the second kind or come across treating everybody guilty until proven innocent as the first kind. Instead, stay humble, stay open, stay genuinely thankful and appreciative of everybody you talk to and tries to help you ... everybody, even the crooks, taught me and as crazy as it sounds I'm thankful for those lessons (not the crooks, but the lessons I got from them) ... without those hard lessons I wouldn't be where I am today, and where I am today is  just an enjoyable waypoint to a destination that will change and ultimately never be reached. People want to help other people with this attitude. People that work hard and are able to maintain this attitude over time tend to be successful.

    1Reply
  • Steve Vaughan
    Rental Property Investor · East Wenatchee, WA · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
    9y

    Semper Fi @Benjamin Barredo.

    Some people suck.  A lot don't.  At least you didn't lose or owe anyone money.

    You'll be fine.  You've got the drive and desire.  Hang in there and thanks for sharing!

    1Reply
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