Unhealthy Frugality Disease

Unhealthy Frugality Disease

Julie MarquezPro Member
Investor · Skagit County, WA · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 807 votes

Blame it on the holidays, consumerism season, or the purchase of my latest rehab project, but I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with spending money. I have this unhealthy relationship with healthy money management. It probably stems from the fact that my real estate investor parents are very frugal, and I grew up sorting our garbage into burnables and non-burnables, saving everything, and never spending money unless it were heavily discounted or a tremendous value (hello all you can eat buffets). Then I found mint.com about five years ago and started diligently tracking my personal spending habits. This tool is a great resource to budget and save, and it helped me to save up for a new car and then buy an investment property.

But what isn't cool is my determination to save all my money, and this little internal goal of mine to spend as little money as possible. Having the idea that I have to save everything puts me in a lot of despair at times; like when I had to shell out $100 for a (worthless) doctor appointment and $100 for a flat tire.

I'm not even a poor person. I make enough money from my job to save about $2000 a month; but I have created this mentality that if I'm not saving $2000 or more, then I'm losing money. But this terrible disease about NOT spending money ruins me when I HAVE to spend a little money. Some say it's just the cost of life. I say that I need to change my mentality so I don't get all crotchety when the fact of the matter arises.

So there's my broken, little, money heart on the line. I need a new view on my money and to understand it's power and joy, and to not get so hurt about parting with it. Do any other real estate investors suffer from unhealthy frugality and how to I transform my relationship with spending money? Thanks friends!

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Investor · Singapore · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y

People put way too much emphasis on money. Just because its easy to count doesnt mean its the only way to track your life. What is far far more valuable and non renewable is time. To me money is a way to get better experience with my time. I have a certain number of days on the planet. Money allow me to spend them more in the way I want to and less in the way I dont. Thats it. If I buy a nice house to live in, my time is more enjoyable than if I am homeless. If I drive a BMW, my time in the car is more fun than in a Honda. If I travel, its experiences that enrich my life. If I help people, it gives me satisfaction of doing some good. If I didnt spend the money, I would have none of that and would have wasted my time. Which is far more terrifying to me than losing money.

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  • Atlanta, GA · Member since 2016 · 22 posts · 8 votes
    9y

    @Julie Marquez

    I used to have the same disease, penny pinching everything from breakfast to dinner, Sunday to Sunday, until one day I woke up and realized it's no fun to live this way. While I'm not out there making it rain, blowing my paychecks on stuff, I am a lot more lenient today, eating out a lot more, going out more, while still keeping my goal/plan: saving to invest, not saving to save (like Grant Cardone says). I save over 50% of my paycheck for the down payment of the "next" property

    I just bought my very first rental property (YAY!) and I am very much looking forward to seeing those rent checks coming in :)

  • Investor · Pueblo West, CO · Member since 2014 · 310 posts · 213 votes
    9y

    Spending $100 on a doctor's visit or a flat tire, doesn't seem like a waste. They seem like "needs" to me and not "wants"

    I obsessively saved for my first real estate deal. After that, I loosened up a little bit.

    I lived on 15k/year when I was in grad school for 7 years. Because I spent most of my time hanging out with other grad students in the same boat, it really wasn't a big deal. I never felt deprived.

  • Investor · St. Louis, MO · Member since 2016 · 12 posts · 0 votes
    9y

    Great topic.  My Grand Mother was a deppression era kid and used to tell us about eating ketchup sandwiches pie coffee sandwiches, then, and later when goods were being rationed.  I also feel guilty if I don't sort everything into the correct compost pile, etc.

    One thing that's helped me...is being a little bit synical and a little bit self honoring.  What I mean being synical-checkout Wikipedia on Centralized Fractional Banking.  Our money is only a small fraction of what any given unit of it (say a dollar) wss worth 30 years ago.  Our dollar loses 2.5 % every year (or thereabouts).  Saving cash is like stripping to

  • Tampa, FL · Member since 2016 · 44 posts · 10 votes
    9y

    @Julie Marquez, this has been quite an interesting topic - thanks!

    Congrats on your baby!  A bit of your life will change for sure, but I suspect it will have nothing to do with your frugality.  I say this because having my son made me more frugal instead of less.  Once he was born, I balked at the price of formula.  I believe that the cost of formula is what drove me to pump  for 18 months (I had issues breastfeeding, but didn't give up the free breast milk).

    I have always been more on the frugal side anyway.  I bought just one outfit for my son right before he was born.  I was lucky enough to have been gifted used baby clothes from a friend and couldn't say "no" ;).  I will also add that you are speaking to a mom that for her son's first Christmas, decided to buy "Little People" garage sale on ebay.

    All this to say, your frugality will continue.  There is nothing wrong with that.  I think that as long as you "allow" yourself a budget with a line item for some "fun" expenses, you'll be fine.

    Best of luck!!

  • Julie MarquezPro Member
    OP
    Investor · Skagit County, WA · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 807 votes
    9y

    @Franky Maslim I'm looking forward to spending more money and not worrying about every penny. I'm glad to hear someone can recover from it! Good lucks with your first rental property, that's awesome!

    @Adam Christopher Zaleski I guess they are needs, but not where I want to spend money. You probably developed some good habits in grad school that helped you save for your real estate deal!

    @David Thompson Interesting idea, I am working on things that are worth it for me and to allow myself to spend money on such things.

    @Madeline P. Thank you! I presume we will not spoil our son and he will learn our frugal ways too, but I do want to prioritize good family experiences with him, so we will see. Thanks!

  • Julie MarquezPro Member
    OP
    Investor · Skagit County, WA · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 807 votes
    9y

    @Account Closed I've already upped the fun categories in my budget (still have to have a controlled budget) and I'm already feeling much better and freer and a little happier!

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