I REALLY SCREWED UP, HELP! 24 y/o, first property.

I REALLY SCREWED UP, HELP! 24 y/o, first property.

New to Real Estate · Seattle, WA · Member since 2020 · 24 posts · 25 votes

Hi everyone,

I am 24 years old have been on and off of Bigger Pockets for a bit as I save up for my first home. I am 24, live in Seattle and just closed on my first home. The property is a single family home with a separate entrance into the unfinished basement which will be converted into another unit. While I am very excited about this purchase, there are some complications. This is where I desperately need you guys' help.

Before I bought this property, I worked for two years to save up enough for a down payment, closing costs, and 3 months worth of reserves. I am purchasing this home and have had the plan that my brother would live in it with me and help me pay the mortgage. The mortgage is roughly $4,000 so it will be split $2,000 for each of us. This is where things get hairy.

We had the idea that I would grant him partial equity in the property for paying half of the mortgage. I decided this because fair market value for rent on the entire house is roughly $3,000, which would make his portion of the "rent", $1500. So he is over paying by $500 to live here rather than rent at market value. I know this is not traditional as the whole point of house hacking is to have someone help pay your mortgage rather than give someone part of your home. I have also told him that we would split the renovation and whatever percentage of the renovation each of us pay, then we will retain that percent in equity depending on the increase in assessed value, post renovations. It has come to my realization as I put up all of the money I have worked so hard for, that he has no skin in the game. My name is on the title, not my brothers. And I worked everyday, ate almost every meal at home with cost effective foods and sacrificed 90% of my social life to be able to save the way I did. (Prior to graduating college and getting a full time job, I was an incredibly social person, so this was a huge change of mindset to sacrifice the way I did).

And on the other end, my brother decided to start his own business while I was working and did not work hard as he spent money like crazy and eventually went bankrupt (filed 1 year ago) . He is now doing well and getting back to where he needs to be. But I just feel like I am losing at my own investment by giving so much of the opportunity up to someone that did not do what I did to make this possible.

As of right now we have agreed that after renovations are done, if I were to have put more money into it than he, then he would repay me the amount to become 50/50 partners on this property. This essentially means that, during renovations, he has the opportunity to bring himself all the way up to 50/50 partners with me, or close to it.

What does not sit right is that I have created this whole opportunity and would like to feel compensated by retaining significant value in the project rather than opening the doors for losing 50% of my investment when I am certainly able to do it on my own. Can anyone help me out on a way to explain this to him without hurting his feeling or give me an alternative way to still make this seem like a valuable option for my brother without giving up such a significant portion of the equity in the property? While I told him already I will never cut him in on a deal out of "being my brother" I think it is right that I grant him some sort of value because he would be over paying on rent by $500 by living here and I have already told him I would give him an equity split, far more than what I will actually end up giving him in the end. This is my first investment opportunity and I have made mistakes and I need help trying to resolve them appropriately.

If any of you would like see the contract I have written up for this, please contact me and I can explain it more. A phone call might be nice too, so I can explain any further questions you might have.

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Dave MeyerPro Member
Head of Real Estate Investing at BiggerPockets · Seattle, WA · Member since 2015 · 224 posts · 826 votes
2y

Timothy -- sorry to hear about your situation. 

It makes sense that you're frustrated, as you have done many of the right things to make this deal happen. Unfortunately, these things happen with partnerships, especially with friends and family where there is more 'trust' and less legal definition. 

It sounds like your proposed solution is solid. If you can get him back to 50/50 that seems like a decent outcome given the situation. Is it perfectly fair to you? No -- but it might be the best thing you can get while preserving your relationship with your brother, which I will assume you value. 

If it were me, I'd be happy I could get back to 50/50 cost sharing, and then file this in the 'lessons learned' folder. Every investor has a folder full of these. It's not your ideal outcome, but you should come out okay financially, and you'll have learned two important lessons. 

1. No one will every care about your business or your deals as much as you do. No employees, no family member, no one. If you put the deal together, you're going to care the most, and you're responsible for making it happen, whether it's fair or not. Thats your job as the lead investors. 

2. Always have clear contracts and deal terms laid out, by a lawyer, ahead of time. Don't skip this, even with a family member. It sounds like you have a contract, but my guess is that it wasn't clear enough, and didn't cover some of the potential issues that could arise. 

Hope it clears up for you. Get made whole financially, learn what you can, and move on. 


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  • Professional · Fremont, CA · Member since 2015 · 1 post · 0 votes
    2y

    First of all he is your brother, so tread carefully. Next sit down and talk about it. I've a feeling that he understood the deal you were making; he would pay half mortgage, higher then the market rent which he said yes to since you were investing in downpayment for a 50/50 split in the end. Since you are remorseful about this deal, talk to him about your issue and clarify by having a written agreement so things are clear and not ambiguous. See what he thinks a go from there. Hash each and every confession before it becomes a mess.

  • V.G JasonPro Member
    Investor · Member since 2022 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    2y

    You're highly emotional and it's better you don't really enter investing until you're a bit more mature. You sound like you're writing a sob story when in reality you just got yourself in a little emotional pickle and need to clear it up. This isn't that big of a deal- an SOS on an internet forum is ridiculous. 

    I get your post and the dilemma with your brother, it may not be an "investment" per se. My recommendation is to come clean and tell your brother how you see it. If he agrees, you change up the terms. If he doesn't, let him know you'll eat it this time but going forward you're going to have look out for yourself. If he's really a brother, he'll set this one aside and let you reap the rewards. If he's in it for himself, then he'll put one over on you. You learned your lesson there.

    Understand what you did, the learning lesson alone is going to teach you more than anyone of us will. Take it to the chin, keep your head up and keep it moving. This is too much nonsense to get all worked up about and suggest a phone call for.  

  • Member since 2023 · 21 posts · 11 votes
    2y

    Shouldn't you structure it, so that you get paid your investment first, then split the profit 50/50?  Or, if you were doing the work yourself, bill that hourly rate to the property as well?

  • Colleen F.Pro Member
    Investor · Narragansett, RI · Member since 2013 · 8k+ posts · 4k+ votes
    2y

    @Timothy Eaton  I am with  @Jeremy Brown  investment payback first then he is entitled to 50 % of the gain on the property not 50% of the property. Beside you aren't giving him $240,000, he gets the amount gain minus the mortgage. If you sold. So, you would split profits minus expenses. Now if you add his name to the deed and only you are on the mortgage you are the only one that has the $ liability.

  • Crystal SmithPro Member
    Moderator
    Real Estate Broker · Chicago, IL · Member since 2014 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    2y
    Quote from @Timothy Eaton:

    Hi everyone,

    I am 24 years old have been on and off of Bigger Pockets for a bit as I save up for my first home. I am 24, live in Seattle and just closed on my first home. The property is a single family home with a separate entrance into the unfinished basement which will be converted into another unit. While I am very excited about this purchase, there are some complications. This is where I desperately need you guys' help.

    Before I bought this property, I worked for two years to save up enough for a down payment, closing costs, and 3 months worth of reserves. I am purchasing this home and have had the plan that my brother would live in it with me and help me pay the mortgage. The mortgage is roughly $4,000 so it will be split $2,000 for each of us. This is where things get hairy.

    We had the idea that I would grant him partial equity in the property for paying half of the mortgage. I decided this because fair market value for rent on the entire house is roughly $3,000, which would make his portion of the "rent", $1500. So he is over paying by $500 to live here rather than rent at market value. I know this is not traditional as the whole point of house hacking is to have someone help pay your mortgage rather than give someone part of your home. I have also told him that we would split the renovation and whatever percentage of the renovation each of us pay, then we will retain that percent in equity depending on the increase in assessed value, post renovations. It has come to my realization as I put up all of the money I have worked so hard for, that he has no skin in the game. My name is on the title, not my brothers. And I worked everyday, ate almost every meal at home with cost effective foods and sacrificed 90% of my social life to be able to save the way I did. (Prior to graduating college and getting a full time job, I was an incredibly social person, so this was a huge change of mindset to sacrifice the way I did).

    And on the other end, my brother decided to start his own business while I was working and did not work hard as he spent money like crazy and eventually went bankrupt (filed 1 year ago) . He is now doing well and getting back to where he needs to be. But I just feel like I am losing at my own investment by giving so much of the opportunity up to someone that did not do what I did to make this possible.

    As of right now we have agreed that after renovations are done, if I were to have put more money into it than he, then he would repay me the amount to become 50/50 partners on this property. This essentially means that, during renovations, he has the opportunity to bring himself all the way up to 50/50 partners with me, or close to it.

    What does not sit right is that I have created this whole opportunity and would like to feel compensated by retaining significant value in the project rather than opening the doors for losing 50% of my investment when I am certainly able to do it on my own. Can anyone help me out on a way to explain this to him without hurting his feeling or give me an alternative way to still make this seem like a valuable option for my brother without giving up such a significant portion of the equity in the property? While I told him already I will never cut him in on a deal out of "being my brother" I think it is right that I grant him some sort of value because he would be over paying on rent by $500 by living here and I have already told him I would give him an equity split, far more than what I will actually end up giving him in the end. This is my first investment opportunity and I have made mistakes and I need help trying to resolve them appropriately.

    If any of you would like see the contract I have written up for this, please contact me and I can explain it more. A phone call might be nice too, so I can explain any further questions you might have.


     I'm going to put the fact that he's your brother aside. The agreement you have with him may not be enforceable unless you or he have filed a Notice of Interest on the public record. Without such a notice when you sell the property all of the gains will go to you and you will pay all of the tax associated with that gain because that's how it's going to be reported to the tax man.  

    Regarding re-negotiating the deal it's always a bad look when a partner(s) wants to renegotiate a deal.  But if you must re-negotiate you have to make it win-win.  If your brother wasn't paying have the mortgage ($2K per month) $24K per year- where would you get that from?  What's the value of that $24K that's not coming out of your pocket versus the equity.  What's the value of him paying for 1/2 of the renovation?  You have to lay all of that out to start the discussion & after you reach an agreement on the new plan, in my opinion, a contract between the 2 of you is not enough. Unless I'm reading this wrong, in the current situation you get all the benefits of appreciation, tax writeoffs,.... because the property is in your name.   In my opinion, part of your renegotiation needs to provide your partner with some security. 

  • New to Real Estate · Seattle, WA · Member since 2020 · 24 posts · 25 votes
    2y

    Thank you to everyone who responded. I made my decision on how to go about it. Of course there are pros and cons to whichever way I decided to go, and I will have to live with these consequences. This community has help me tremendously. Thank you everyone.

  • New to Real Estate · Seattle, WA · Member since 2020 · 24 posts · 25 votes
    2y
    Quote from @V.G Jason:

    You're highly emotional and it's better you don't really enter investing until you're a bit more mature. You sound like you're writing a sob story when in reality you just got yourself in a little emotional pickle and need to clear it up. This isn't that big of a deal- an SOS on an internet forum is ridiculous. 

    I get your post and the dilemma with your brother, it may not be an "investment" per se. My recommendation is to come clean and tell your brother how you see it. If he agrees, you change up the terms. If he doesn't, let him know you'll eat it this time but going forward you're going to have look out for yourself. If he's really a brother, he'll set this one aside and let you reap the rewards. If he's in it for himself, then he'll put one over on you. You learned your lesson there.

    Understand what you did, the learning lesson alone is going to teach you more than anyone of us will. Take it to the chin, keep your head up and keep it moving. This is too much nonsense to get all worked up about and suggest a phone call for.  


     I ended up coming clean to him. It went about as one would expect, but I think long term it was the best move. It eliminated any sort of expectation to work with one another. Also, nobody lost, because nothing had been signed and he had no money in the deal yet. And he actually won because I allowed him to represent me on my purchase so he actually made roughly $15,000 on it, and it was his first transaction as a new agent. I did take responsibility as the way I went about it was problematic, and now that I have been through it, I will be going about investing with anyone in a more cautious manner.

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