Rental Property Investor · Louisville, KY · Member since 2019 · 37 posts · 61 votes
So recently I've been incredibly excited about this new journey of REI. I've been looking at properties in the Indianapolis/Louisville markets and have found some places I'm interested in. No one in my family has any experience in REI and quite frankly have been very discouraging in their remarks about my goals. I'd love to start in a duplex/triplex/fourplex using house hacking, however when I tell family that I get looks like I'm crazy. Any hints/facts I can give family that would help them see the upside that is REI? Thanks!
Huntsville, AL · Member since 2018 · 577 posts · 864 votes
6y
My wife thought I was insane when my business partner and I got a contract accepted on our first investment property. She pointed out everything that could go wrong, noted how I "didn't have time for this", and was afraid of how much money we would lose on the endeavor.
So what did I do? I completely ignored her and proceeded. And with time, she has even admitted it was a wise decision.
Rental Property Investor · Tulsa, OK · Member since 2019 · 9 posts · 19 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne Hey there Jeff. I'm interested in seeing what answers you get. I'm looking for my first deal on a couple of SFR's in Tulsa. I get the same looks and discouraging comments. Good luck to you.
Rental Property Investor · Louisville, KY · Member since 2019 · 37 posts · 61 votes
6y
@Jason Holt I’ll keep you updated. In my situation I leave for basic training in about 60 days, so I’m still using this time to save/learn so when I get back I can buy, move in, and manage my property. Good luck to you as well. If you have anything you know of or experiences you’ve had please feel free to share.
Rental Property Investor · Concord, GA · Member since 2015 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
Well, your family may be trying to prevent you from being involved in what they consider to be a "get rich quick" scheme. How it's presented may make the difference. If you're comfortable in what you're about to do, you may have to move forward without their blessing and let them see for themselves that it was a valid idea.
Another approach would be to find out what their specific concerns are and then address those.
Also consider that their concerns may be valid depending what your investment plan is.
Rental Property Investor · Tulsa, OK · Member since 2019 · 9 posts · 19 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne thank you for your service. Most of my experiences revolve around no one seeing how $200-$400 cash flow per unit can become part of the cash flow that can lead to retirement. Everyone thinks the “headache” is not worth the cash flow.
Rental Property Investor · Louisville, KY · Member since 2019 · 37 posts · 61 votes
6y
Pitching the idea is definitely something I’ve truly worked on. I haven’t gone talking about it to them cold however they do see it as a “get rich quick” scheme. I know that is far from the case and am simply looking at great opportunities. I do know that if I wait to pay off student loans, RE prices will only go up. Personally I feel now is the time to get in the market. Thank you @Jason Holt I appreciate that. I have been hit with the same statements, telling me to wait, however I know the barriers to entry are not what they were in the past. Personally being young I believe this is the time to get in however family does not always see it this way.
Huntsville, AL · Member since 2018 · 577 posts · 864 votes
6y
My wife thought I was insane when my business partner and I got a contract accepted on our first investment property. She pointed out everything that could go wrong, noted how I "didn't have time for this", and was afraid of how much money we would lose on the endeavor.
So what did I do? I completely ignored her and proceeded. And with time, she has even admitted it was a wise decision.
Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2019 · 290 posts · 253 votes
6y
My mom thinks I'm a crazy person for investing in RE, but I just chalk it up to "agree to disagree." She most definitely doesn't have anything positive to say about it, even if I'm very excited. However, I don't let that discourage me. Personally, I just do what I want, and down the line she'll see what RE can do for you. I say you do you, smartly that is.
Northeast Ohio - Akron Area · Member since 2019 · 17 posts · 12 votes
6y
Seems to be the typical knee-jerk response. I told my dad I was getting back into REI and he said "Stupid move, son" lol. Now granted, my first multi-family home I had from 2004-2010 was a headache and I griped about it often. But, I am approaching this smarter this time around, having learned from experience.
@Jeff Byrne If by family you mean mom, cousin, etc; ignore them. People are afraid of what they don't know. Be responsible, don't get in over your head and start small. they don't need to know what you are doing with your money. On the other hand if the family you are referring to is your spouse, that is a whole other conversation.
My dad and I have been on the rei journey for about 10 years. 9 doors. But my mom and family have been skeptical/worried about the whole time. Been called a slum lord at thanksgiving and spent last Christmas Eve at an apartment setting up heaters when a unit failed.
My advice: get a business plan together. Including printed out calc reviews. A game plan how you will grow and use your limited funds.
This shows that your serious, it helps overcome objections and it may make those conversations easier.
So recently I've been incredibly excited about this new journey of REI. I've been looking at properties in the Indianapolis/Louisville markets and have found some places I'm interested in. No one in my family has any experience in REI and quite frankly have been very discouraging in their remarks about my goals. I'd love to start in a duplex/triplex/fourplex using house hacking, however when I tell family that I get looks like I'm crazy. Any hints/facts I can give family that would help them see the upside that is REI? Thanks!
Are any of these people wealthy? If not why does thier opinion matter? They don't know what they don't know. If I were you I wouldn't say another word to them about REI. Seek out people that have done what you are trying to do, and only take advice from them. Nobody else
My family isn’t in line with what I’ve done in life. I’ve exceeded all expectations after ignoring them, which is what I would suggest. However, success didn’t make them come around. They are still put off by my risk profile as I am with theirs.
Rental Property Investor · Upstate, NY · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
I have lived & profited very nicely through all the negative jibes, "you'll be sorry", "so you're a slumlord" , "you'll never make money", "I tried it & lost a lot of money".
The clincher was some years ago when my 'international business consultant' BIL asked for a sit down with my wife & I. He 'interviewed' us for about 2 hours (& wrote copious notes) all about our suspect REI strategies, then a week later we received a 4 page dissertation detailing "everything" we were doing wrong.
Several months ago when he hit 65 he sat down with us again & intimated to us that he simply cannot afford to retire. Like many of my colleagues, who trashed me in the in the past, they only retire when forced to, (I retired very early) & the majority then worked years in menial jobs "to simply get by" or for the proverbial "spending money".
Step back take a deep breath & appreciate that once on BP you are immersed in a new tough love "family", complete with the occasional crazy uncle (posters).
Eastern Michigan · Member since 2018 · 81 posts · 144 votes
6y
It seems to me that anyone who doesn't do real estate thinks it's a very risky, very hands on thing to do. Just do your due diligence and prove them wrong.
We just were telling a financial advisor we have 3 rentals and what does he immediately do? Tells us a story of a guy he knew who had one out of state rental that the tenants trashed. Why would he tell us this? He didn't know anything about how successful we have been with our rentals. And this guy is just one of a million odd, snarky, or totally negative comments we have received over the years. Im sure it's harder with family but things like this are so common you just have to brush it off.
NYC, NY · Member since 2016 · 617 posts · 456 votes
6y
No. Nothing you can say. If they've never done it, they can't see how it could be done. Best to go your own way.
Read. Listen. Find a REIA group & attend some meetings to find others who are doing what you want to do. Find local RE agents and owners of dplx/trplx/quads and offer to buy them coffee and pick their brains.
The best way forward is to go forward. Slow but steady to find your path.
I'd advise you to not tell a lot of people right now. Learn the ropes, do your due diligence, and let the results speak for themselves. We haven't told most people yet b/c they don't understand enough about it and we know they'll have lots of opinions. We've only really told other fellow investors/people who understand the ropes. We'll stay mum until we've had a handful of successful deals and then eventually mention it. Sometimes it's better to build in silence than to go yapping.
Rental Property Investor · Ithaca, NY · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne
You’ll need to go out and show them you can do it. My family and friends were the same way, discouraging and negative...Then I bought a house and they said “Oh, that must have been luck. You’re a lucky man.” Then I bought another house and they said “How did you do it?”
I’m making my dream a reality, proving my family wrong, and losing my friends who don’t support me. Oh well! But out of all of the negativity, put downs, constant ridicule, there is nothing better than that smug look on your face when you proved your best friends wrong and they know it!
Rental Property Investor · Member since 2019 · 31 posts · 11 votes
6y
I get the same negative vibes from a lot of people, however their financial situations are drastically worse than the one person I do know well who invested in real estate over many years. He’s even dealt with a lot of the doom and gloom situations they mentioned and come out the other side just fine! I’m just focusing on having my partner fully on board which is important to me
Specialist · Easton, PA · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne
Thank you for your service Jeff!
When I was 24, I started looking for a house for myself. My mother said “you have no business buying a house, you have no idea what it takes” But who does their first go around?!
That house ended up making me $40k in 2.5 years, and a career as a self employed contractor. That was nearly 21 years ago. I have multiple houses now and a great business. I showed her! Just say thanks for your input and show them what’s what.
Contractor · Westmont, IL · Member since 2018 · 44 posts · 31 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne
Let their doubts fuel you. Use it as motivation to prove them wrong (obviously not in a malicious way). Then when they see your returns, they may want to invest with you.
Midland, TX · Member since 2015 · 90 posts · 75 votes
6y
On my wife's side of the family, we have her parents who are RE investors. They are overly supportive, like to the point where they think we are silly for analyzing numbers. Her siblings "want to invest, but later". So this side is leaning toward supportive.
My family: my mom and grandma are somewhat supportive. Nobody else really knows. I have a history of bucking the trend.
Our solution is simple: we don't tell unless they ask. We try to stay humble and not gloat.
@Jeff Byrne it stings when the folks you think would be the most supportive of your goals and dreams are the ones dampening them. Don’t take it personally! They’re merely imposing their subjective, paradigmatic fears upon you, thinking it’s their job to play opposition advocate, punching holes in your plan.
Consider limiting what you share with them and this will relieve them of their worry. Surround yourself with like minded investors who can offer objective counsel.