Staten Island, NY · Member since 2015 · 265 posts · 59 votes
Hello all! I am sharing my RE ideas with my mother and other close family members and I receive no support. Only comments such as bad tenants, you will go broke and save your money. No one thinks like me or likes to take any chances in my family. I really am just going to stop sharing any of my ideas with them altogether. Anyone go through this with close relatives?
Investor · Irvine, CA · Member since 2016 · 81 posts · 27 votes
9y
Eric DeVito It is hard at the beginning and you probaly need to work alone. One you build a track records, your family's expectation should change. Good luck!
Investor · Florida Panhandle/Illinois · Member since 2016 · 4k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
Absolutely. I didn't share with my family and friend due to the negativity. Now that I have a number of properties under my belt they now ask me how I did it. Isn't that interesting.
Believe in yourself, they will come around unfortunately, it will after you have succeeded.
Investor · Longwood, FL · Member since 2015 · 221 posts · 130 votes
9y
I agree that you should just do it and share later. Even Jesus could not preach in his home town. Once they know you as an investor things may change. Do it for yourself.
Do your homework (a lot, but the return will be much better than a letter grade if you do well), be conservative in the sense of building a reserve, and do not stretch yourself too thin.
You wanted a story? Here's one for you. I live in Southern California, where everything is way overprice, so the return is nothing if not negative. I started to look out of state to invest and shared that with my mother. Her advice, "Don't invest out of state...it is dusty." Yeah...that happened. To be fair, she does manage a few rental properties that my parents owns...then again, she takes the current rent and divides it by the cost of the property from *over 30 yrs ago* and calls herself the best real estate investor in the world.
Investor · Haverhill, MA · Member since 2015 · 761 posts · 328 votes
9y
that is always the story from the uneducated side. If you take this seriously and approach it as a business and do all the calculations and screening, you can prove them wrong.
Rehoboth, MA · Member since 2016 · 1 post · 6 votes
9y
Hi Eric,
Don't look to others to validate you or your goals. You need to know what you want to do and go after it. While it's nice to have others support you, most people are not going to encourage. When you are successful, then, maybe, you'll get some encouragement or support.
Investor · Madison, CT · Member since 2014 · 710 posts · 458 votes
9y
@Eric DeVito - Find like-minded people to talk with, learn a ton, and start slow. It took about 2 years for me before the nay-sayers were asking how to get involved in deals. Just learn as much as you can, start slow, and do it right!
Staten Island, NY · Member since 2015 · 265 posts · 59 votes
9y
Thanks for all the encouragement. I know this is what I want to do and I have learned so much since joining BP. I feel there is so much more I can be doing in my life to set myself up for success for years to come. Only live once, why not do big things.
Specialist · Grand Rapids, MI · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 611 votes
9y
Eric DeVito My question to you is have you given reason to them that you are irresponsible with money? My much older sister used to say negative stuff all the time because she would see I travel to exotic places not knowing I would work just as hard as I play. In honesty I would say block them out until you can prove them wrong. Talk is just talk until you can show them its not. If you are discouraged by it then real estate may not be for you. I once attended this real estate seminar with my ex and we sat at a table with 5 other investors. Whenever one person spoke everybody would listen intently except for my ex girlfriend. She would text on her phone and tell her friends she was with real estate snobs. It was painful because she was my best friend in life at the time and it was one of main reasons we brokeup, because she could not take my real estate investing seriously. However what is important to you should be important to your loved ones and they will take you seriously as soon as you do your first deal. My wife and I could not be more focused on the same goals. It was a no brainer to marry her.
Rental Property Investor · Orlando, FL · Member since 2016 · 463 posts · 220 votes
9y
Kevin beat me to it, but I will repeat it because it is important: find a REIA or meet-ups nearby and connect with investors in your area. They will give you some much-needed support as well as invaluable education, and possibly some good deals! Once you find success, the naysayers will have to shut up. Good luck!
Investor · Singapore · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
If the nay sayers are bringing up valid points, think about them. For example there will be bad tenants. What can you do to plan for that and minimize the impact. Just cause they are negative doesnt mean the risks are not real. Thats not a reason to not do it but consider them and plan for them.
Study, educate, and once you purchase, you will prove them wrong. You should not need validation, or support for your own goals. It helps to stay around like minded people in your area as well as BP! Be around success, negative people try to bring you down since they knock what they are un capable of. They may be fine in their comfort zone, and knock an idea when deep down they know they are not fulfilling their potential
Cincinnati, OH · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
9y
@Eric DeVito I'll echo @Kevin Siedlecki's advice. You need to have a strong support group around you, but it won't be your family and friends. You need to find other investors and spend more time with them otherwise, you'll doubt yourself if you listen to those naysayers. There's a reason successful people hang out with other successful people.
Lender · Philadelphia, PA · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
9y
Thicken your skin. You will hear that stuff a lot out of their own fears, lack of knowledge and insecurity. Use it to drive you forward. It certainly played a part in where I am. I don't let stuff like that weaken my position or direction, I use it to motivate me.
Real estate scares a lot of people, realize they are being cautious for you, because in there mind, they want you to be happy. Just smile, and say "thanks for the concern"... and know you got this in the bag. My theory with real estate.. you need deep pockets and thicker skin. Could have a bad tenant-- absolutely, it's the nature of the beast, the more you are expecting and ready for it, it's actually not scary, just a procedure.
I agree with most people, just don't talk with them about it, a simple "it's going well" is all you need to say. People want drama, don't give it to them. BP is a wonderful community, get involved, bounce ideas off other investors who have been there, and can offer guidance. If you want to talk about stuff, share anything, whether it's positive or negative, start a discussion here!
Hope this helps! Just remember-- their concern is coming from a good place, and just smile, and say you appreciate their input.. and end the convo. That's the good side, and the correct thing to do IMO.
The bad side, is saying just wait, it will be AWESOME and feel soooo great to brag about the money coming in! Guess who's getting XXX amount each month for being smart a few months or years ago?! When you get good tenants, it's pretty easy and a very fulfilling thing to do!
Investor · Pueblo West, CO · Member since 2014 · 310 posts · 213 votes
9y
My parents are divorced and remarried. One side is full of college graduates and small business owners. They are very supportive of my rentals. They like to talk about it more than me. The other side is full of construction workers and laborers. They are supportive of purchasing a house. However, when I convert them to a rental, there is a lot of negativity. Even after having success with the rentals, I am now considered the enemy because I'm now rich (in their eyes) and somewhat of a slum lord. They believe that the only way to make money as a landlord is to be a slum lord. On one side, I can't win either way, so I don't talk about it.
Plymouth, CA · Member since 2016 · 7 posts · 3 votes
9y
They will never see the potential of what we are all doing unless they to have their own paradigm shift. Just like we once thought about money like poor Dads, they too need to hear it from a rich Dad in order to have that shift in thinking. Have your main influencer (spouse if applicable) read "Rich dad pot dad" let them know it's just so they can understand where you are coming from. It won't happen overnight, but be patient and confident in your direction.
I went through the same problem in the beginning, came to realize you can't win a war of words. You are wasting time trying to explain yourself with people who have a completely different mindset. In the beginning you will need to just persevere through it all and let your actions speak loudly for you and the jibber jabber will all be put to rest. On the saving part, in a way you are saving your money in a "note" that someone else is paying for you; with a little risk involved :)
Let your intuition take over, not other people's opinions. Good luck with everything and continue to learn.
Royal Oak, MI · Member since 2016 · 13 posts · 3 votes
9y
My family is blue collar and is negative about literally everything. Holiday talks are all about how scary the world is, crime, death etc.
They don't understand the way I think and are extremely risk adverse. In addition, anyone that's in management or rich is stupid, can't do what they can, don't work hard, blah blah blah.
Know your audience. The lesson I learned is to not tell them anything that I know they will be negative about.
Investor · Elgin, IL · Member since 2016 · 27 posts · 14 votes
9y
I'm not sure who was it that said it, but - Don't take advice from people, unless you want to emulate them. Same goes for any feedback, not just advice. So, if your mother tells you RE is bad, and she is not a millionaire, don't even talk to her about it. I found out that everyone has an opinion, even if they know little or nothing on the subject matter, and you have to be able to tune it out.
Rental Property Investor · Wake Forest, NC · Member since 2016 · 186 posts · 78 votes
9y
@Eric DeVito The worst thing you can do is let negativity get in the way of your success. One thing I kept hearing over and over is Do Not listen to anyone who can't even tell you all the different types of real estate investors or explain cash flow. Negativity always comes from those who don't have a clue about REI. The best thing is to sit down a year or two from now and show your parents your portfolio. Sometimes people only believe what they can see. I went through the same issue with my Mom. My dad was, and still is, supportive. My Mom was convinced we were going to be bankrupt the end of this year. REI is exciting and there is nothing like being able to share your experiences with your family. But sometimes family is the worst to share those experiences with. I made that mistake of telling my mom everytime an offer was accepted on a house, to when we closed, to when we put in new flooring, fixed a roof, painted, had an issue with a tenant etc. All that got me was more negativity and more stressed out.