Staten Island, NY · Member since 2015 · 265 posts · 59 votes
Hello all! I am sharing my RE ideas with my mother and other close family members and I receive no support. Only comments such as bad tenants, you will go broke and save your money. No one thinks like me or likes to take any chances in my family. I really am just going to stop sharing any of my ideas with them altogether. Anyone go through this with close relatives?
I'm all too familiar with your situation. I had in-laws for quite some time that were not only discouraging, but were actually competitive and toxic. Most of their negative attitude toward REI seemed to stem from this competitiveness and a fear that someone else might get ahead in their lives. Typically, that type of attitude comes from their own insecurity. As many of the posters above mentioned, if it's just discouraging, work on thickening your skin and do your best to find positive support outside your family. Don't feel that you need to share too much with your family but don't feel you need to hide things from them either. After you've built up some success, they'll come around. It's not unusual that not everyone thinks like 'we' do, but that's why we'll have success down the road and they'll still be sitting on the couch. If you want an accountability partner or someone to help provide support as you navigate through the ups and downs of the process, send me a message.
When they ask you to borrow money tell them to go to a bank! I'm kind of in the same boat, I won't let anyone bring me down. I love to prove people wrong!
I also do not have much support from my family. My father is the only one that supports it but that is because he is in construction and figures I would give him more work too. The rest of my family does not support me. Which makes holiday family gatherings a very insulting time or at least for me it is.
Everyone wants everyone else to fall into the stats quo. Graduate high school, go to college, and work a dead end job where you come home everyday complaining about work. To be honest I fell into that thinking because that is all they ever really teach in school. Get good grades, go to college, get a job. Well I did go to college and I do have a degree. That degree has not helped me get anywhere. Though I did learn a couple interesting things along the way. To get back on point, you have to believe in yourself more than they discourage you.
"Hello all! I am sharing my RE ideas with my mother and other close family members and I receive no support. Only comments such as bad tenants, you will go broke and save your money. No one thinks like me or likes to take any chances in my family. I really am just going to stop sharing any of my ideas with them altogether. Anyone go through this with close relatives?"
What'd you do for work before that you have to share your RE ideas with your mother? You need some kind of approval from folks NOT in the business and NOT successful at it?
Everyone in this business has been through this and doesn't listen to "civilians!
@Eric DeVito I was expecting this early on so I didn't really tell anyone what I was doing at first. I've only just recently start being more open about it. As expected, I've received a lot negativity and indifference. However, I've already build a pretty big network of other investors. This helps give me an outlet for talking about REI in a "safe space." Now I only talk about my investing career at a high level whenever someone asks "what's new?" If they ask for more info, I'll give them more detail. If not, I'll leave it at that. I'm confident all the naysayers will become very interested once I replace all of my earned income with passive income. I'm reminded of a Frank Sinatra quote; "The best revenge is HUGE success." I look forward to hearing more about your revenge! :)
Wow! Thanks everyone for commenting and thanks to the OP for bringing this topic up! This thread has been most helpful to read through!! I am about a year into my investing career and am still getting fear-based negativity from family. A few have started to become curious as to what I'm doing though so that's progress. It sounds like we all go through this to some degree and I can't think of one highly successful person who wasn't called crazy for their ideas in the beginning. It's a great thing to have peers here on BP that understand and have pushed through regardless of what the "poor dads" have to say. Lol
Thanks again, everyone!! :)
I'm in the same boat as well. Feels good to hear similar feedback from so many investors.
My family continues to make comments about finding a new job and so on. They think very differently from me and are very risk-adverse.
I just try not to talk about it, except for the success stories as they come along, big or small. They'll come around as you tell them about more and more deals you did and made money.
Great article @Eric Devito. Always keep your head up and never give up. Some people is just judgmental because you're doing something their afraid to try. Take chances.