Use other people's money, they said. Leverage, they said. Harumph.

Mortgage 1: My personal residence (duplex) in Boston. With rates low, my promo rate on the HELOC expiring, a bunch of exterior renovations I want to do, and prices at an all time high in Boston, I thought February was the perfect time to refi. I called my private banker (sidebar: switching to a private bank was the best business move I've made in years), he put me in touch with his mortgage guy, I got a great rate, low fees, we're off to the races. This is a plain vanilla cash out refi 30 year, except it's Boston so it's a jumbo loan because even a 1 bedroom fixer in Boston is a jumbo loan. We submitted the application the end of Feb.

Then COVID19 hits, things got delayed, but I have a great bank, no problem, it will just take a little bit longer...and then one of my tenants gets sick and another one says he only has one lung and they don't want the appraiser to walk through, and the mayor issues a statement backing up tenants in exactly this kind of situation and my hands are tied. The appraiser gets hard to deal with because she's "essential" and she's upset that she has to work from the pictures my tenants took instead of walking through their unit and I can see things going sideways. And all of a sudden my appraisal comes in a full $300K below what we anticipated, which translates to us getting only 1/3 the cash out of the loan we'd planned on. And of course, when you appeal an appraisal it just goes back to the same appraiser, so we're SOL. My banker breaks the news that if I don't close this loan he may never be able to give me another one because I am pretty much the last jumbo loan that will ever close in America, especially at pre-COVID rates, so I hold my nose and do it. The world is ending and even 1/3 of my planned cash is better than no cash, but now we can't afford to do the renovations we'd planned on and I just reset my 30 year clock and paid thousands in fees and it took 9 weeks...but at least the loan is done. Only we still don't have the funds, that won't happen for another week for some reason. So I am still anxious until I see them hit my account.

Loan 2: Your basic BRRRR. 2 units we bought in SE TX in the fall. As with all rehabs, it took too long and cost too much, but we got it done. Now I just need to refi and place tenants. Started in January working with a local CU, upset that they gave me 4.5% when I wanted 3.9, but it's not a huge loan and I want a local banking relationship and already have a loan with them on another property. They promise closing in 4 weeks. 6 weeks later, on the first really scary COVID day as the markets are cratering, just a few days before closing, they call me up with some BS excuse about not being able to lend to out of state owners (remember, I already have a loan with them on another property) and cancel the loan. They even have the gall to try to get me to pay for the appraisal they ordered. I refuse and they back down. So much for me trying to build a relationship with a local lender. Strike 1.

No biggie, I am working with a HML on some other stuff, he's great. He quotes me 5.8% and tells me it will be done in 2 weeks. I just want to pay off my private money lender at 9% who is a personal friend, so I'm happy. This is crazy low for HML. Then he tells me the rates have dropped, which is also unheard of. He quotes me 5.5% at 70% LTV and I am overjoyed. We move forward, but he's getting cagey. Then two weeks later he sends me new terms with rates closer to 6% and no more than 60% LTV and a full year's payments in escrow, plus all kinds of fees. By the time they're done, I barely have enough left to pay off my private loan. Pandemic or not, this deal sucks and I walk. Strike 2.

I ask my friend if she will just refinance at 5.5% over 10 years, or pretty much whatever terms she wants. She thinks it over and says no. The markets have spooked her and she wants her money back. Strike 2.5

My PM knows someone, he swears she's great. I call her on March 23 and ask her if she can help. She promises she can get the deal done and be closed by the end of April at conventional rates. She's cagey on the rates but I let it slide. Desperate times and all. It's a full doc loan. Weeks go by, we provide mountains of documents, I ask for rates and terms a half dozen times and never get a straight answer. She's making me nervous. We finally get a handwritten PDF today with rates and terms and she's got me at 4.875 and $6900 in fees on a $140k loan. And she won't take the appraisal I just got from the credit union at the beginning of March, so now I have to sit here and stress that this appraisal will also come in crazy low while also being bent out of shape that I'm getting nearly hard money rates on a full doc loan. Maybe I should have just gone with the HML at 60% LTV, at least I'd be liquid by now. Oh, and we haven't placed a tenant for the larger unit yet after 2 months on the market, which makes me even more nervous for the appraisal. My PM says showings are down 75% across the board.

And here I sit, waiting for strike 3...