I am seriously LOST!

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I am seriously LOST!

Christopher Lane
Rental Property Investor · Oceanside, CA · Member since 2018 · 78 posts · 60 votes

Hey team, so this is a super personal post.  Read at your own risk lol.

I grew up in a family that had 2 - 4plexes and 3 triplexes. I grew up collecting rents with my dad, and working on the houses and mowing the lawns.  My parents got divorced and now my mom has a house, and my dad has 3. somewhat relevant but not really.

The big issue for me is my wife.  

"I dont see why you dont think you need a job.

I dont think its smart to waste our money on something risky

I dont know why youre so obsessed with this

I dont know why youre chasing $400 a month from such a headache

I dont know how you think this is smart

You got fired from your sales job because you couldnt sell and never made money there

Remember when you invested in bitcoin? howd that end? (I ended up doubling my money, but only after being 9x if i sold at the bubble)

You need to be thankful for what you have

Why cant you just be normal

God gave you what he gave you for a reason"

I tell her I grew up in this arena and I've done literally years of research, with my dad and on my own. I've listened to every BP podcast, every Grant Cardone youtube video, read over 20 books, all on real estate and personal finances.

I'm devastated that she says these things to me and I have no idea how to get her to see that this isn't something that's a half-a$$ed idea.  Shes a Trauma nurse in SoCal and makes over 100k but ha NO goal of ever doing any better in life than what we make now. and TBH my relationship is really struggling now, not because we don't have money, but because we have differing opinions on what to do with what we have.  

What do I do?   A divorce is never an option.

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Jason D.
Rental Property Investor · St. Petersburg, FL · Member since 2017 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes
7y
@Christopher Lane I'm not sure how you'll take this answer but here it is. Are you prepared to not fulfill your dream? That's what shes asking you to do. If this is truly your passion, your partner should motivate you to achieve your goals. Regret is a very powerful thing and you only have one shot at life. When you're 90 years old and reflecting on what you did, and the dreams you never fulfilled, how will you feel?
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  • Kate J.
    Rental Property Investor · Austin, TX · Member since 2016 · 294 posts · 104 votes
    7y
    @Christopher Lane well, you want a forum to analyze your personal situation. The closest person to you might be right. She might be right. The fact that you dad did something does not mean you will have a success in doing it. How is it financially? Do you plan to use her salary for the investing? If I would be her, I would seriously oppose that, especially if the other half would not bring anything money wise.
    2Reply
  • Kate J.
    Rental Property Investor · Austin, TX · Member since 2016 · 294 posts · 104 votes
    7y
    Oh yes, do the postnup, in case HELOC thing will not work.
    0Reply
  • Dennis M.
    Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
    7y

    One of the issues I see in your posts is that she has a “poverty” mindset and you have an entrepreneur mindset . Lightyears apart in financial / risk philosophies . Rich dad poor dad is a free audiobook on YouTube .it’s about 6 hours long . Coax her into listening to it when your out and about in the car .When I did this with my wife she at first was annoyed but after a half hour of listening she was intrigued and got excited about the prospect of becoming wealthy from nothing  . The book does an amazing job of explaining our debt ridden society ,how real estate is powerful, a nd how wealth can be created . Today my wife fully supports all my dumb ideas thank God.when I go into a deal and I’m nervous she reassured me and has my back with full faith in my ability when I can’t even see it . Obviously You have other issues going on besides investing and I’d recommend a good marriage counselor and talk with your pastor . I’d Get this resolved now so it doesn’t fester down the road . Don’t forget you are the man and the one responsible to get this straightened out .so many husbands shirk this duty and let their wife call the shots . It never works . Their can only be one head of the household . Someone has to lead 

    3Reply
  • Jai Reddy
    Edmond, OK · Member since 2012 · 456 posts · 270 votes
    7y
    @Ray Johnson Just well thought out and written advice. You've tried to see it from the wife's point of view and then are trying to win her over with actual data.
    0Reply
  • Trey Brown
    Lender · Kailua, HI · Member since 2017 · 23 posts · 13 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane

    I don't mean to come off as an A$$-Hole, but what have you done to prove to your wife that this isn't a risky move? 

    From what you've written, it kind of sounds like you have the "Shiny Object Syndrome." You went into sales because you thought it would be shooting fish in a barrel, you invested in bitcoin and watched you're money almost reach 10x, but didn't pull the trigger to sale. Your parents owned rentals locally enough to collect rent, but you're talking about out-of-state investing, and those are two completely different things. You also said that you can't lose in real estate if you're smart about it. That comment alone makes you seem ignorant to what real estate investing truly entails. There's a million and one ways to lose money in real estate. So I'm really not seeing why your wife should trust you. 

    Now, to talk about your plan. You want to take $50k out through a HELOC to purchase a rental. The house that both you and your wife live in. Your wife's home. And you want to tie that up in a rental that makes $471/month in cash-flow. It's going to take you 15+ years to get that $50k back. HELOCs work great for flips and BRRRRs, but not long-term rentals.

    Secondly, I hate to break the news to you, but you don't make $160k/year. You're making $160k THIS year because you're deployed. What I would do is squirrel away as much of that as you can (which should be all if you're in Kuwait and your wife is taking home $100k) and use that money to invest more passively that being a landlord. Maybe she'll be on board with that. 

    Take that money and lend it in a 1st position mortgage. Then you don't have to worry about tenants, toilets, and termites, but instead on an investor paying you exactly what's written in the promissory note. 10% return is fairly easy to get, and if the borrower doesn't pay, you get a house. That's a lot easier to convince someone than taking on $100k+ in debt, for the potential of $400/month. Maybe once you show her that you can actually be successful at it, then she'll be more on board. Roll the interest into purchasing a rental. But I don't think your first move should be a rental, especially if you're not on board. 

    Don't give up or resent her because she doesn't believe in you're investing goals NOW, but instead show her that you can be successful.

    And don't try to hide it behind her back. Unless you really don't want a wife, but also don't be the one to ask for a divorce. Because any smart woman (she's a nurse for crying out loud) isn't going to stick in a marriage where the husband thinks it's a smart idea to hide something from her, especially when she's already told you her opinion on it.

    Best of luck 

    5Reply
  • Quito Keutla
    Real Estate Agent · Renton, WA · Member since 2017 · 204 posts · 151 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane It's important to get your wife enrolled into a Vision, Not your own vision.  Work on cocreating a vision with her that she would be excited to support.  I know first hand by doing things on my own without my wife's blessing, did not turn out too well (loss over 10 rentals).  What I've learned is that I have to get her enrolled in creating a vision together that the both of us can support.   I know you can do it. Happy Investing!

    2Reply
  • Mala S.
    Investor · Jersey City, NJ · Member since 2013 · 129 posts · 122 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane

    It’s funny how much the family we grew up in can influence what we view as “normal”.

    My Dad was a full time real estate investor my whole life and was therefore never beholden to a 9-5 schedule. I think this might be why I’ve always been attracted to men who are not tied to a 9-5 type of job and have some flexibility in their schedules (entrepreneurs, investors, freelancers, etc). Also, it takes a certain type of ***-kissing personality to successfully climb the corporate ladder, which I am also repelled by :p My Dad is no ***-kisser, that’s for sure!

    Most of my family members are business owners and often roll their eyes at me when I say I have to work late or say things like “why are you working so hard to make someone else rich?” That’s my “normal”!

    It sounds like you and your wife had very different experiences growing up. This is pretty common in marriages (you can’t marry yourself right?). You should go to couples counseling to learn about your differences and how to accept and appreciate them. I know this sounds like I am sending you 10 steps back on the game board even further away from your goal of purchasing real estate... but you guys really need to get on the same page emotionally about this. Your problem has nothing to do with money.

    And consider this: there is a real possibility you may fail on your first deal. You May over pay for a property, the roof may cave in on day one, your tenants could stop paying the rent, etc, etc... you need your wife to be supportive if any of these things happen. So she needs to understand you as a person first, and understand the business next. I mean, if your wife failed the nursing exam, would you be on her case saying “I knew this wouldn’t work, I told you to be normal!”

    TLDR: Couples counseling!

    4Reply
  • Julie N.
    Real Estate Investor · Unionville, CT · Member since 2016 · 260 posts · 167 votes
    7y

    @Christopher LaneThat’s too bad that your wife is not on the same page as you but I’m sure there are many relationships that have the same struggle. You might have to work twice as hard To prove that you will be successful at real estate as an (adult with your own houses and not your families). Good luck and keep going strong.

    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Specialist · Paradise Valley, AZ · Member since 2018 · 3k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    7y
    Originally posted by @Christopher Lane:

    @Filipe Pereira I do not have the money to start in Cali, I bought my primary there and have gotten like, 50k equity that I want to HELOC to use for a few multi-families in other states that provide good cash flow. My strategy allows for failure, small failure, enough to recover from. But I don't think I would fail If I was disciplined and made wise choices.

    @Lisa Thoele You are completely right! She has dreams and ambitions too.  She loves to travel and help people and wants to be the best mom a kid could ask for (we are going to start trying for kids this coming year).  My perspective is that if we make some sacrifices now to invest smartly we can fulfill all of her goals.  We could travel, and neither of us would have to work and we could raise our kids and volunteer at church, and help people who need it.  She's a trauma nurse and wants to help people more than anything and I love that about her.  I see it where they are complimenting goals, I just don't know how to explain that. :(

     @Christopher Lane  - in a similar situation, long ago, I was introduced to "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley. It changed how I looked at my marriage and my wife and our life together. We always got along great but she came from a successful professional background (father a Harvard MBA running a Fortune 500 company) me, my background, not so much. I was raised with my 4 brothers, cousin, aunt, mom and dad (until they divorced) in a 760 sq ft house. That is not a typo. I had to learn how to provide for the family and understand my wife's needs in the process. We've been married 40 years this year, and divorce was never an option. That attitude paid off. By God's grace we have done well, after I *learned* how to address her needs. At that point I could focus on financial success and in my situation that is in real estate. The real estate deals will always be there, so do whatever is necessary in the meanwhile to arrive at that success together. Yes, we have been active in church all this time.

    2Reply
  • Tim Polk
    Realtor · NWI (Northwest Indiana) · Member since 2018 · 63 posts · 36 votes
    7y
    @Christopher Lane. Not to sound doom and gloom but I personally like being prepared for the worst. If she doesn't believe in real estate investing it might be time to have documentation drafted to retain your assets in the event you do not remain together. No shame in protecting what you built.
    1Reply
  • Ryan Evans
    Rental Property Investor · Cleveland, OH · Member since 2016 · 653 posts · 769 votes
    7y

    If all else fails you can always drop the "trust" card. If you're going to succeed in a relationship, you should be able to ask that she trusts you to make the right decision and then support your decision even if she disagrees. 

    -advice from a single guy ;) 

    2Reply
  • Bill Goodland
    Rental Property Investor · Allentown PA, United States · Member since 2016 · 567 posts · 442 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane I think the answer is kind’ve obvious tbh. You want to invest in real estate to achieve financial freedom, and all she sees is tenant headaches. She probably doesn’t understand that the $400 you might make each month by owning and managing a property each month isn’t infinitely scalable. I would try to provide her with specific examples of investor success stories of not only buying deals that cash flow, but investing in deals that can build significant equity growing your families wealth and future legacy.

    In my opinion, it’s hard to scale a portfolio if you’re ultimately the one managing all of it. While it may be beneficial to manage yourself to a point, if it is going to cost you some stress in your marriage, I would look for deals big enough, with enough spread and possibly out of state where day to day management on your part will be impossible or at least impractical. That way your wife doesn’t have to wonder why you’re taking tenant calls, and you can try to scale your portfolio by allowing your time to be used to it’s highest and best use.

    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Contractor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2018 · 432 posts · 221 votes
    7y
    Sorry to hear that @Christopher Lane! Hang in there. Only you should carry the weight of responsibility for the hard decisions that have to be made overall, so only you can make the right decisions, considering what’s best for your wife, family and community. You should be going for financial freedom from careers! Good for you.
    0Reply
  • Shirley R.
    Rental Property Investor · Hartford, CT · Member since 2018 · 81 posts · 73 votes
    7y
    @Christopher Lane My husband is a doctor, so I know the mindset. What is her plan for retirement? 401k is a joke... What's her plan if she's injured and can't work anymore? Insurance runs out eventually... What sold my husband is that even if I fail there's a building that we can sell to get the money back. Unlike that bicoin I let him loose 10k of our money on....
    1Reply
  • Rich Nordstrom
    Galva, IL · Member since 2017 · 37 posts · 26 votes
    7y
    @Christopher Lane Mark Twain says it best... the two most important days of your life, the day you are born and the day you find out why. And my favorite Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
    0Reply
  • Don Gouge
    Johnson City, TN · Member since 2017 · 209 posts · 367 votes
    7y
    This isn't about money or real estate.
    3Reply
  • Shahriar Khan
    Investor · Houston, TX · Member since 2010 · 234 posts · 145 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane .....( with all due respect to both parties ) what i read is that she is doesn't think you up to the challenge ...

    My hypothesis: 

    1) She is a trauma nurse... being nurse is easy but working in trauma center is not easy. She has seen extremes and works with the best and probably she expects the same

    2) She works with folks with money... imagine how may Drs or Nurse Anthologist walk about there in that section of hospital 

    3) Earning 100K from a large organization is SAME as making 200K outside via independent business after adjusting for job security, health benefit  and all those

    4) History repeats itself with different variations. YOU may not have done well in previous jobs/roles and you may continue with the same pattern in current venture as well. SHE knows you the BEST

    5) If i have read the set up of your questions ... your venture is based on that what you DAD created NOT what YOU have created.. to add to #4 above 

    6) She is absolutely correct that $200-$400/month/property is NOTHING ... it about scale 

    7) To replace or earn or come to same stage at hers (10K ish) ... you need to have around 40-50 properties aka 4mil-6 mil of portfolio value .... aka 3ish mil of loan ... again assuming you guys have been married for a while .. She know you the best 

    Having said that ...1) change will depend on how hungry you are .. 2) in most cases we dont change unless some drastic happen in life. ... 

    so my vote is on her and you need to reflect on your performance aka why she is saying what she is saying instead of what she said ..

    PS: I  am fortunate to marry a very smart lady as well. Summa cum laude , corporate high flier in fortune 10 ... and she hated when i started and gave me no slack ... Within 19 months when i close my 35th deal ... it was different :) 

    Wish you the best... 

    2Reply
  • Travis Henderson
    Washington DC · Member since 2018 · 21 posts · 9 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane whatever you do DO NOT try to do this behind her back. Your first investment is going to be stressful and difficult enough on its own. Having this secret hanging over your head isn't going to help. Don't be in such a hurry, there will always be deals to be found. Between the two of you you're making a killer income right now. Save as much as possible for 6 months to a year and in the meantime try to find out what she might be comfortable with in REI.

    1Reply
  • Matt Walker
    Rental Property Investor · Denver, CO · Member since 2018 · 36 posts · 16 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane Chris, it sounds like a matter of a couple things. One, sounds like she makes a good steady income and was raised in a ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained” family with parents that may have retired from long term careers and got lucky, so she thinks you should be “normal” on those standards. Of course I don’t know. Remember opposites attract. That being said, it will be better for her to hear RE strategy from someone else so she can hear how it’s a much better way than anything else. Once she realizes that RE investing has made more first generation millionaires than any other industry in history, she might start tuning in. At the end of the day, the biggest factor is the WHY behind why you invest in the first place. If you ever want to chat, feel free to reach out.

    0Reply
  • Brian Juris
    Real Estate Agent · Palm Springs, CA · Member since 2018 · 19 posts · 12 votes
    7y

    Chris - sounds like you are in a tough spot. However painful this might be, this is a great opportunity to really bring that mirror right to front and center of your heart and ask yourself some major life goal/visionary type questions. First, where is my motivation and desire coming from? If it is external, and doesn't come from a deep passion within yourself first, regardless of your family history and your wife's opinion, you should take a step back, and really focus on finding the motivation deep within yourself. Although I am not married, I am in love with my girlfriend and I plan on being married to her at some point in the future. Nearly all of my decisions revolve around putting myself in a better position to experience a deep, loving relationship with her. I am also willing, and already have made adjustments in certain areas of my career because it's based on a deep, passionate desire to protect and provide for her now, and into the future. In order to be successful at anything in life, not just real estate, you have to be truly passionate regardless of who is in your life, family, what you've been through, or what your wife is saying. You have the ability to block out all of the noise, and say, I am going to open myself up to the path that will most likely lead to making my wife happy, so that she can be secure and know that I would do absolutely anything for her. If you can honestly say that you feel this way, you will be on that path in no time. All of that "stuff" (peoples expectations, negative thoughts or words, even the past) won't matter anymore, you will be so grateful and blessed, that all you want to do is go directly at your vision for the future. Nothing gets in your way, and you aren't deterred by anything, because your strength is within yourself first, and from there, what you allow your heart and mind to be connected to, on a more spiritual level, it will give you everything you need to be best husband you can be, from a personal and professional standpoint. There is something incredibly powerful that happens when you command your thoughts, stand firm against all resistance, and go directly into the very heart of the storm. You will discover that it was inside you all along. Everything you ever needed was right there, and now it's just about using your gifts, and applying next level work ethic. Anyone who does that will be successful. Maybe not right away, but at some point, you will have your day in the center of the sun. 

    0Reply
  • Jonathan Jaffe
    Lewisville, NC · Member since 2018 · 40 posts · 3 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane

    I am totally new at this, so take what I have to say only as far as you think it should go.  My wife is not working outside the home.  Since the kids, she's been the best mom I have ever known anyone to be. Yes, my thoughts are from a different perspective, so again you be the judge.  

    If you've listened to all the podcasts and read the books here on BP, there's one you must have seen that mentions the 7 people who MUST be on your team to successfully do real estate investing.  Accountant, attorney, finance person, etc, etc.  But one of them was spouse.  I totally agree with that, and for me, I asked my wife to not watch Bravo one night and watch one of the intro webinars.  I think by watching it together, it really helped us and gave us a real face and person to the game along with a chance to watch together.  

    In my experience, it's not what is said, but rather how it is said. I think any reasonable person should be made aware of his or her spouse's goals and dreams and 'for better or for worse' support that set of goals or ideals.  If this can be impressed upon a supportive spouse, and real life examples be described, I think that will be far more potent than attempting to train her with gifts every time you close a deal or keep it secret in the event of a 'missfire' deal.  

    Reading Rich Dad Poor Dad, there's a very poignant section about how Kyosaki invests in tax lien notes making 16% return.  Everyone ridicules this idea because it's risky.  Well, from the cliche basket: nothing ventured, nothing earned; no risk, no reward.  Anything that even remotely beats inflation has some degree of risk, including risks to relationships, personal well being (generally mental well being), and those risks unforeseen.  That said, like anything else in life, including getting married, one must determine risk:benefit ratio. You took a risk getting married for the benefits provided therein.  YOu probably didn't think about it that way exactly, but if you go back and remove emotion from it, that's what actually likely happened.  I'm a physician and that's all we do (spoiler alert, we are all gamblers in the medical game - first we try not to hurt someone, and then we take our best guess as to what will do the most good while minimizing the downside), it's just in a different form.  Your ask of the forum here is nothing new, and nothing unique.  It's all about how much risk in your relationship/financial behavior (or behavioral finance) you're willing to accept for a perceived benefit.  

    None of us on this site is able to make that decision for you, so perhaps an honest conversation with your wife and mutually agreeable limits to a smaller scale trial (lower risk with potential upside) is the best way to look at the situation.  

    And remember, none of us here has anything to lose or gain from the outcome of your situation.  Anytime you take advice consider the biases that are obvious and try to tease out the occult biases so that you are an informed decision maker.  This goes for everything in life.  

    P.S.  I haven't completed my first transaction yet, but I'm learning a great deal here and am very grateful for your thought provoking post.  Best of luck to you!

    0Reply
  • John Bartlett
    Wilsonville, OR · Member since 2018 · 5 posts · 3 votes
    7y

    There is no amount of money in the world worth damaging the relationship my wife and I have. I have no real advice for you other than that.  My wife and I are just starting on the real estate path, so we spend a lot of time talking about which path the two of us want to walk. Still unsure where that will take us but we will make sure we go together. 

    1Reply
  • Jonathan R McLaughlin
    Rental Property Investor · Boston, Massachusetts (MA) · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    7y

    Not comfortable putting my wife's business out there, but feel free to pm me if you want to chat about similar experiences :)

    A few thoughts:

    1) Dive into the objection, treat her like the partner she is and get her to talk about the "why's" behind what she is saying--all of it. The lack of success at sales, the plan, her view of owning/renting. Ask her what would make her feel good to go with it? Really listen. Don't argue. Do this before #2

    2) Draw up a list of your competitive advantages/disadvantages (SWOT analysis for the MBA types) based on her feedback as well as your thinking. Show her how you plan to mitigate the disadvantages. Admit limitations, show plans to mitigate. Defensiveness will kill you.

    3) Security is a big thing, it seems. Reassure her that she is the important one and your motivation and you won't put real estate ahead of her. If she gives you a chance to try it, reassure her you are ready to bail if she can't deal. Bring in people including accountants, lawyers, tax strategists that she respects to weigh in. What about your families perspective?

    4) Really, really talk about risk. Lots of people identify risks to action, but can't focus on risks of standing still. Its interesting you are in the worlds riskiest profession. Maybe some of this is displaced anxiety? Set things up so that real estate is a risk mitigator. What if you are killed or injured so you can't work? What if she loses her job? What are you doing after the military?

    5) Short term, long term. Your arguments that I have seen have focused on cash/investments short term. Real estate is really get rich slow. Talk about the paydown, the legacy for kids, the assurance of an asset when you are older and the flexibility it could bring.

    6) Ask. Don't convince. Ask.

    OK, now I'll offer an unsolicited opinion...I think you would be crazy to make your first venture(s) cheap OOS rentals. Among other reasons you would be throwing away your chief competitive advantage which is that you know this industry from the ground up since you were a kid. Why outsource what you suspect you will be good at? Add to that a pretty obviously peaking bubble and predatory environment along with rising interest rates....

    Good luck. Have been there. Have completely reversed course and sold things at the "wrong" time to prioritize the relationship and have been rewarded with a true partner. Give as much as you are asking.

    0Reply
  • Llewelyn A.
    Investor / Broker · Brooklyn, NY · Member since 2016 · 665 posts · 1k+ votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane

    Your wife is your most precious thing in your life, so give her the chance that she deserves without any thoughts of losing her!

    She is a Trauma Nurse and have seen patients with the WORST outcome given a situation that was risky. OF COURSE SHE IS RISK ADVERSE!

    But, that being said, you have to think to yourself, are you really explaining it to her in the best way possible for a Risk Adverse person that you love so much or are you "Mansplaining" it to her (surprised none of the women on her mentioned that)!?

    I will say that most people who cannot convince someone they want to do business with needs to have a very SOLID Business Plan, one that will easily mitigate the risk and fears of the other person, is SOLID and cannot go wrong!

    Impossible you say?

    I do this all the time. My Business Plans are so informative and it has calculations that cannot go wrong.

    For instance, let's say you are buying a property with a Mortgage of $1 Million (if that's too large, then just reduce it to something you think she will accept).

    If you are talking to a risk adverse partner, explaining to her that yes, you are adding debt to the Investment, BUT, it is a Fixed Rate Mortgage at 4.5% for 15 year!

    THEN, explain to her that the payment will be only $7,649.93 (make sure you understand how to calculate this payment, it will impress her) AND that the tenants will be paying it, and that in 15 years, it will go away!

    THEN... explain to her that since the tenants will be paying the whole $1 Million Mortgage in 15 years, if we divide the $1 Million by 15 we get $66,666 per YEAR in EQUITY!

    AND this is a GUARANTEE. It's just financial MATH. Show it to her on a Spreadsheet by AMORTIZING the Loan with a Schedule!

    Test out your Business Plan with one of your female friends who is also RISK Adverse.

    That friend will prepare you for your conversation with your wife unless you cannot even convince your risk adverse female friend!

    The stronger your Business Plan, the stronger will be your ability to convince your wife.

    Really, if you are telling your wife that it's in your blood from your Parents.... if I was risk adverse, I would throw that out the window quickly!

    You need a better explanation. Try that route!

    2Reply
  • Brian Wilson
    Investor · Longmont, CO · Member since 2016 · 185 posts · 156 votes
    7y

    @Christopher Lane


    From what I gather, I should probably never get married.

    In all seriousness, you're in the military. Meaning that if you found a woman that can handle the deployments and not find comfort in Jody while you're away, then you've found a special person. Being a military spouse is tough, you know that. So she's already supporting that goal of yours.

    Why are you trying to sell her on something when so far (based off of what you've told us) you suck at sales? You're not going to be the most effective. Maybe find a mentor and work with them, they may also be able to talk to your wife and say "look at x,y, and z". 

    While real estate isn't full proof, I don't agree with some of the expressed opinions of how easy it is to lose money even when you buy the deal right. Lose potential profit during a downturn/contraction? Sure, but not lose your shirt on a cash flowing deal that isn't over leveraged. 

    Have you thought about house hacking? I mean you will likely PCS at some point in time now that you're back on active duty. So you can get out of CA and just buy another house every time you PCS.

    Also what is your wife invested in? The stock market that she totally has 100% control over?

    Don't rush into this just because you have the itch. I almost did that. Looking back I would've lost my shirt. RE will always be here. 

    Make sure you're communicating properly, communication is a HUGE component of sales. You may not be the best at effective communication/message delivery.

    Just my thoughts man. Hope it all works out.

    0Reply
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