How to convince my wife to house hack..

Member since 2019 · 24 posts · 8 votes

I was wondering if anyone had any insight on helping my wife see the benefits of house hacking. We currently own a house and I'm trying to convince her to buy a multi with me to help save money for more investment properties. Any help at all is appreciated.

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Corey Hawkinson

Rental Property Investor · Bloomington, MN · Member since 2019 · 404 posts · 542 votes

@Joshua Norwood When we were moving back to Minnesota I wanted to house hack. I found a 4-plex that I thought would work well. Ran the numbers, put together a plan, talked it over... and my wife said no. Ha! So I’m a bad example.

However, after that I found a house with a great yard that is on a small lake. The best part is that it has a mother-in-law suite that we rent out. It cuts our mortgage in half. I didn’t get the property I wanted the most, but I have a great marriage and I’m partially house hacking. Hopefully you can keep searching and find a property that works for both of you.

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Aaron K.
Specialist · Riverside, CA · Member since 2015 · 6k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood have you brought this up and faced resistance? If so what was that if not what resistance do you anticipate? In your profile photo you are holding a baby so I'm assuming location and school district will be super important. Not every area has multifamily properties in great areas does yours if so how do they line up with your investing number goals?
1 Reply
Joshua Norwood
OP
Member since 2019 · 24 posts · 8 votes
6y
Our school district is riddled with multi family. We have 3 kids so we would need a bigger property. But there are plenty of them. She's just having a hard time with the idea of leaving our current house..
1 Reply
Corey Hawkinson
Rental Property Investor · Bloomington, MN · Member since 2019 · 404 posts · 542 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood When we were moving back to Minnesota I wanted to house hack. I found a 4-plex that I thought would work well. Ran the numbers, put together a plan, talked it over... and my wife said no. Ha! So I’m a bad example.
However, after that I found a house with a great yard that is on a small lake. The best part is that it has a mother-in-law suite that we rent out. It cuts our mortgage in half. I didn’t get the property I wanted the most, but I have a great marriage and I’m partially house hacking. Hopefully you can keep searching and find a property that works for both of you.
9 Reply
Mike Dymski
Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
Show her what she personally will get out of it. And that may not matter anyway if she values other things.
5 Reply
Michele Z.
New to Real Estate · Augusta, GA · Member since 2019 · 96 posts · 34 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood Maybe, with 3 kids, an in-law suite or ADU rental would go over more smoothly than all of you squeezing into a multi? Maybe a luxury house hack so that she's getting more, not letting go of what she currently perceives she has? Maybe a giant house with a master suite and guest bedroom on the main floor and a couple of bedrooms on the second floor that you rent out. Or a tricked out basement suite with multiple bedrooms while you rent out the upstairs so that your family still maintains some privacy? Maybe this house is in a better school district so that your kids are benefitting too? Maybe the kids bunk up together so that they're learning how to share space which will be a valuable skill once they go to university or head out into the world to house hack on their own to achieve their own financial freedom when they're still in their 20s?

I was initially against it too, we just had to find the right house hack plan *for us*.
2 Reply
John Teachout
Rental Property Investor · Concord, GA · Member since 2015 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
A woman's "nest" is usually a much more significant thing to them than it is to most guys. Just one of those differences between the sexes. Would you be selling the current residence to be able to buy the multi-family? If you could rent it, then maybe she'd be willing to try it if it wasn't an irrevocable decision. ie, rent your current house, live in the house hack, don't like it? move back.
1 Reply
Tim SwierczekPro Member
Lender · White Bear Township, MN · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood @Jordan Moorhead and I had a meet up on the subject. Jordan recorded it. Jordan can you post the video link?
0 Reply
Joshua Norwood
OP
Member since 2019 · 24 posts · 8 votes
6y
@John Teachout we would keep our current house too. She's just not sure she's up for it
0 Reply
Joshua Norwood
OP
Member since 2019 · 24 posts · 8 votes
6y
@Michele Zugschwerdt I'm trying to show her how much More we would be able to save. And ultimately what that would mean for us. She grew up in a paycheck to paycheck kind of lifestyle though so it's been a little difficult to implement saving into her lifestyle.
1 Reply
James Galla
Attorney · Akron, OH · Member since 2016 · 535 posts · 389 votes
6y
Originally posted by @Joshua Norwood:
Our school district is riddled with multi family. We have 3 kids so we would need a bigger property. But there are plenty of them. She's just having a hard time with the idea of leaving our current house..

Ouch, since you're three kids in, I'd say that's a fairly big downgrade in lifestyle compared to living in a house that shares walls and/or ceilings. That being said, I don't think anyone here is familiar with what her understanding of real estate investment is. Before house hacking is even on the table, she ought to at least have a significant drive to establish a real estate business. If she can get that drive, then the idea of house hacking could come naturally or come without as much resistance/strain.
If she is a numbers person, perhaps you should generate some growth models to demonstrate what growth deciding to house hack will permit. A growth model is particularly useful if she shares the same drive for real estate as you. However, if she doesn't have that drive, perhaps the growth model could demonstrate a way to ease financial burdens and/or spend more on luxury items such as a vacation. Alternatively, maybe you could get her to a point of understanding that real estate investment is necessary to fight off the future financial strain of buying your three kids cars and tutors as well as setting up a college investment fund - i.e. "it's for the kids." Following that "for the kids" logic, perhaps if she hasn't thought about building assets to pass down to the kids, maybe that's something to consider - one investment property may not justify the hassle in providing for your kids whereas several properties, as permitted by future growth generated from the acquisition of a multifamily-house hack would merit some benefit.
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Joshua Norwood
OP
Member since 2019 · 24 posts · 8 votes
6y
@James Galla we actually had a discussion about this the other day. Making moves today so that our future and our kids future would be better. I asked her to read rich dad poor dad so she can begin to understand.
0 Reply
Craig Jeppesen
Rental Property Investor · Chubbuck, ID · Member since 2018 · 532 posts · 466 votes
6y
I think you are about 3 kids too late. She is established in your current home raising her kids. I would just be happy she doesn’t want to upgrade to something newer and bigger. I would stay in your home to keep your family in its current stable condition and work on other ways to invest like doing a brrr or do a flip to come up with a down payment or some other strategy to get you started.
7 Reply
Nathan P.
Investor · Salt Lake City, UT · Member since 2016 · 89 posts · 41 votes
6y
I like where @Michele Z. and @John Teachout are going with this. Common house hacks are multi-units but I have seen house hack opportunities where the extra large shop in the backyard was rented out for RV/ATV/Boat storage for $1500 a month. There are also storage unit numbers to factor in.
Then Johns comment about keeping your current home and trying an AirBnB style thing. Your wife could definitely be more involoved with an AirBnB style setup and maybe that would get her more on board.
Finally my personal comments would be to go to work finding real life examples and crunching numbers your wife can see rather than just discussing the concept with here. Logic vs Emotion is what your battling here. Emotional attachment to your home base and living conditions and logical numbers telling you this will advance your financial position. Good Luck!
0 Reply
Michael Noto
Real Estate Agent · Southington, CT · Member since 2008 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
This is a tough one. Personally I know I am in the minority but I think your wife feeling comfortable with where she is living is actually pretty important. You can figure out other ways to invest that do not involve house hacking.
4 Reply
Account Closed
San Jose, CA · Member since 2015 · 4k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
Originally posted by @Joshua Norwood:
I was wondering if anyone had any insight on helping my wife see the benefits of house hacking. We currently own a house and I'm trying to convince her to buy a multi with me to help save money for more investment properties. Any help at all is appreciated.

I've read everyone's responses so far, but I had to go back to this and I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying that you want to keep your house, then buy a multi, and then buy even more properties after that? If so, that may be her concern. That you may end up building a house of cards.
I've known friends and family members lose everything when they tried leveraging one property after another. It was really popular back in the 90s before that crash happened. So, I'm really uncomfortable with that whole investment strategy. It's risky and that may be her concern.
And she may not be the AirBnB type, which would be difficult with 3 kids anyway, plus you'd have your kids around a lot of strangers.
So, I think I may understand some of her concerns. Maybe you could work towards staying in your home and buying a rental. See how that goes. Save up your profits, keep equity intact, then maybe slowly get into another one or sell that one for a multi. Slow, but sure, with real equity. More security might make her more comfortable with RE investing.
There's no such thing as getting rich quick, unless you win the lottery, in my opinion. Makes me nervous when people think they can.

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Craig CurelopBusiness Member
Real Estate Agent · Post Falls, ID · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood - my advice is always to have her read a few books or listen to a few podcasts on the subject. Real life examples seem to work best and those that have written a book on the subject of personal finance, financial independence, and real estate have thought through how to clearly articulate it to the masses.
Books I would suggest are the obvious:
1. Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki
2. Set for life - Scott Trench
3. The House Hacking Strategy - Craig Curelop (shameless plug)
[email protected]Podcast Guest on Show #350
1 Reply
Veronica DeSalvo
Rental Property Investor · Scranton, PA · Member since 2019 · 7 posts · 12 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood
As someone who was resistant to RE but recently became convinced by my boyfriend that we should start rental property investing I hope my perspective can help you.
What convinced me we’re the following:
1. Him putting in the time consistently for months to learn everything he could about rental property investing even with me showing little to no interest. It showed me he was truly committed.
2. Occasionally telling me about what he learned and why he is excited about the prospect (without being pushy, just talking about it excitedly). It’s always nice seeing your partner excited about something :)
3. (And the most important) WHY he wanted to start rental property investing. At first I thought he just wanted more money for the sake of having more money. Once I understood what he wanted that money FOR I was onboard immediately. And now I’m more into it than he is! Lol
I hope that helps you with your wife! Just be patient and help her understand your vision for the future and why house hacking is the first step. Feel free to message me directly if you could use any more tips!
3 Reply
Brian Ellis
Rental Property Investor · South shore, MA · Member since 2017 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
6y
With her on board you will be able to grow a lot faster, if she doesn't want to be on board then you will grow a lot slower. Doesn't mean you cant invest, it will just be a lot tougher.
How do you get them on board? You don't. You just take action, and hopefully they follow. You will either grow together, or grow apart.
0 Reply
Joe Scaparra
Investor · Austin, TX · Member since 2013 · 680 posts · 1k+ votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood, there is a time a place for everything, unfortunately, with 3 kids the time and place for house hacking multifamily has come and gone. Most multi-family properties compared to a SFH leaves a lot to be desired in terms of location, school choice, and type of tenants living around you. Crime rates are usually higher as well. With three kids, your decision making has to include what is best for the kids. House hacking is extremely easy when it is only you or with a wife and kid under 5 years old. I own 19 units (all small multi-family) and my wife would not live in any of them. I could no problem. Pushing your wife to do something that will drastically change her living conditions with kids in mind will cause UNDO stress in your family. Forget about it and start putting your energy towards how you can afford your first stand alone duplex pure investment. It really is not that hard to do if you plan out the steps needed to go into that direction. Good Luck.
1 Reply
Jordan MoorheadBusiness Member
Real Estate Agent · Austin, TX · Member since 2015 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood work on defining your goals and read @Craig Curelop's househacking book!
[email protected]512-888-9122
The Moorhead Team5142 Reviews
Website View Page
1 Reply
Gina Cardarella
Rental Property Investor · Los Angeles, CA · Member since 2019 · 112 posts · 38 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood Hey Joshua I technically house hack I've owned a 3 unit and live in one if you get the right tenets it's really positive even if you get a negative 1 it's still a learning experience is she says what is she scared of do you guys have children's issue frayed the lock on your door at 9 o'clock at night what's the reasoning behind it you can possibly also let them know not know that you own it in the beginning What's the details why doesn't she want to
0 Reply
Joaquin Camarasa
Real Estate Agent · Springfield VA · Member since 2018 · 480 posts · 400 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood I have read very good advice from the other BP members.
Something that helped me out with my wife was to pick the right time and place to have these conversations. We travel often abroad and when we are away from routine, she is a lot more open to listen about “crazy” ideas since she is away from stress and problems. House hacking can be perceive as a one more problem to add to the list.
This strategy has worked for me, you don’t need to travel abroad for that but a weekend getaway with no kids could work. 😂
2 Reply
Kenny M. Lewis
Hamilton, NJ · Member since 2019 · 78 posts · 15 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood have someone from her job that you talks about rent from you. Make sure they are clean and helps out around the house.
0 Reply
Account Closed
Lender · Minneapolis, MN · Member since 2019 · 34 posts · 16 votes
6y
Just tell her you won't have to use your working income to pay your mortgage. FREE is always a great argument. ;)
Good luck
2 Reply
Ryan Proffit
Saint Joseph, MO · Member since 2018 · 401 posts · 244 votes
6y
@Joshua Norwood good luck. I have been shot down many times! I even wanted to buy a 4 plex and live in two of the units and it was a no go.
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