Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
Just curious how many of my BP family has experienced negative pushback from family members when you discuss your real estate goals with them? I remember watching one of the webinars recently where they talked about telling everyone you knew your goals. Well pretty much everyone I've talked to thinks it's a bad idea. "You'd be crazy to waste your money like that" is just one of the responses I've gotten.
"Don't take advice from anyone you wouldn't trade shoes with"
Don't worry about them, you will get A LOT of negative feedback, being scared about the "what if" scenarios, whereas if you have a business plan-- trust it and move forward! If you think you can do it, and logically it makes sense-- do it!
Don't let naysayers bother you, those type of people live off fear. We currently have 5 properties, and one of my friends said "OMG, what if all 5 HVACs went out at 1 time, you'd be broke!" stuff like that, totally normal for simple minded people.. whereas if you run it like a business, it's all part of the plan.
"Don't take advice from anyone you wouldn't trade shoes with"
Don't worry about them, you will get A LOT of negative feedback, being scared about the "what if" scenarios, whereas if you have a business plan-- trust it and move forward! If you think you can do it, and logically it makes sense-- do it!
Don't let naysayers bother you, those type of people live off fear. We currently have 5 properties, and one of my friends said "OMG, what if all 5 HVACs went out at 1 time, you'd be broke!" stuff like that, totally normal for simple minded people.. whereas if you run it like a business, it's all part of the plan.
Investor · Tulsa, OK · Member since 2017 · 102 posts · 88 votes
9y
@Jessie Nunley I agree with @Linda S. don't worry about them. (BTW that was an awesome quote!!) Those are the type of people that will get to the end of their life and say "I wish I would have done this or that". If you haven't read Brandon Turners book "The Book on managing Rental properties" you need to get a copy of it. It will give you the confidence to move forward and it is one of the issues he addresses... below is a quick excerpt from his book.
Good Luck
"Most of the time when we try to explain
what we do, we get a lot of blank stares and glossed-over looks. If
you haven’t found that out yet, you will. The world just doesn’t get
us. They don’t understand the passion we have for financial freedom.
Most people fall into one of two camps:
1. Those who think you are crazy for trying.
2. Those who think you are just greedy.
Can you relate? Most of your family, friends, and almost anyone else
you talk to will fall into one of these two camps, though if you’re
lucky, they’ll simply be happy for you. They’ll discourage you, try to
tell you all the reasons why it won’t work, and try to talk you back
into the routine 9-5 life they feel comfortable in. Screw that - you
don’t feel comfortable there, and you shouldn’t! So how can you get
out there and talk with people when no one wants to talk? Easy: You
Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
9y
@Linda S. Thank you for the response! I just finished reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and it really opened my eyes to family members and people in general letting fear control their decisions.
Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
9y
@Clay O. As I said in a response above, I recently finished reading Rich Dad Poor Dad and he talks about stuff like this in that book. I have also rad the book by Brandon Turner and remember him talking about the same thing. Thank you for the response and words of encouragement.
First off your family should be supportive of your goals to better your life. One thing I have found is that you need to surround yourself with family/friends who are supportive of what you are doing, unless its something like snorting crack then that is a different story! lol
The reason you will get those people you know saying, "You'd be crazy to waste your money like that" is because they don't understand the business and scared of taking the risks. As long as you are making smart business minded decisions and are focused and have a plan forward, you will succeed.
Real Estate Investor · Encinitas, CA · Member since 2016 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
@Jessie Nunley Devils advocate, it might depend on what you want to do with that money to achieve your goals. Telling someone your goal is to own 100 units and to get there you're going to spend $50K on a seminar/coaching package is different than saying you want to house-hack using a 3.5% down mortgage. One of the most valuable things you can have is someone (with no vested financial interest) trying to poke holes in your theories, assertions, plans, etc. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong, but at the very least you have some feedback. The worse thing (in my opinion) is to get revved up with positive feedback that never has you question your plans, goals, and route to get there.
Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
9y
I am now in my 13th year of real estate investing and I had some family give me crap and negative comments at the start while my parents supported my decision. Of course I had already proved myself to my parents starting and running a successful business (printing) at the age of 19. That said, you would think the other family members would have realized that success could transfer over to anything I did, guess not.
Did that stop me? Hell no! As I stated, I am now a successful real estate investor and developer for over a decade and all those with negative comments for me at the start are likely regretting their negative attitude towards it. The rich act in spite of fear while others allow fear to stop them. There will always be naysayers, and the more I hear it, the stronger it makes my desire to succeed.
There is a simple fact about real estate, more people have become millionaires through real estate than any other investment vehicle, hands down so anyone stating you are crazy to get into real estate should be looked at as the crazy/ignorant person, not you.
Investor · Portsmouth, VA · Member since 2016 · 289 posts · 107 votes
9y
My family was all for it in the "research" phase. After I did my first deal it was more so "well you should have done this" "I wouldnt have done that" etc etc I guess everyone suddenly became an expert.
My response...numbers don't lie. At first I found myself pleading/defending my case all the time. Then I just started ignoring it. I'll continue to collect my rent while they go work a 9 to 5 for the rest of forever.
Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
9y
@Andrew Johnson your comment made me laugh! I totally agree with you that had I told them my goal was to spend 50k on a seminar/coaching package then I would deserve to get negative feedback. I am going to use the feedback to drive me to success!
Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
9y
@Will Barnard thank you for the response! I just finished Rich Dad Poor Dad and it really opened my eyes to how our parents can influence our decisions. My family is very much on the Poor Dad side of the story. Very happy that your family did not stop you from achieving success! I won't let that happen either!
Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
9y
@Tiffany S. I am getting a lot of "you should do this" right now. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I will be changing careers within the next 15 months and they just don't want me to overextend myself! Thank you for the response!
Rental Property Investor · East Wenatchee, WA · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes
9y
Worry not, for they simply don't understand. Most don't and that's a huge part of what makes BP so grea
My parents and siblings still don't ask me about my work and I haven't had a w-2 since 2002. They do not understand. I am donating my 3rd of their inheritance to local (to them) causes they have supported for over 30 yrs. They are building the list and are very appreciative, but they don't ask or care really simply because they were 30yr union workers and they don't understand.
My wife's family is intrigued and loves to ask. I always wait for someone to ask.
In short, talk to the people in your life that give a rip and share with them. If someone asks, great! If they don't, don't share about RE. They just don't understand and that's ok.
Just curious how many of my BP family has experienced negative pushback from family members when you discuss your real estate goals with them? I remember watching one of the webinars recently where they talked about telling everyone you knew your goals. Well pretty much everyone I've talked to thinks it's a bad idea. "You'd be crazy to waste your money like that" is just one of the responses I've gotten.
I agree with all of those who said to ignore them. The irony is that the people who say those things are often the same people who are very financially irresponsible themselves.
Investor · Saint Joseph, MI · Member since 2016 · 12 posts · 5 votes
9y
Steve Vaughan "i am donating my 3rd of their inheritance to local (to them) causes they have supported for over 30 yrs."
that is one of the best ideas for giving back that I've heard in a long time.
Jessie Nunley it's funny I was just thinking the other day about the negative pushback that I've had in the past, the strange thing is some of it has been from people who who own rental houses.
Steve Vaughan "i am donating my 3rd of their inheritance to local (to them) causes they have supported for over 30 yrs."
that is one of the best ideas for giving back that I've heard in a long time.
Jessie Nunley it's funny I was just thinking the other day about the negative pushback that I've had in the past, the strange thing is some of it has been from people who who own rental houses.
Hey thanks, Ron. Donating in their name is what I wanted to do for them. My dad especially has spent his life giving back to haven house, the hungry, the homeless, battered women, vets, etc. He has a garage full of folding tables and chairs he carts around in his little pickup to help folks hold their events. He said 'Well, it's your choice, of course. But if donating in our name is something you want to do, I will make a list to causes we have cared about and send it to you in a letter.' It was over the phone but I think there may have been a tear or two.
@Linda S. Your friend's comment is hilarious! What would you do? You'd fix them of course! You've planned for that, etc. Not to mention the unlikely scenario of all 5 breaking at once.
@Jessie Nunley Most people have no idea how to analyze risk, and they think fear is the same as risk. So to them, something they fear must be very risky indeed. Being afraid of 5 HVAC replacements isn't the same as the risk of all 5 breaking at once. Additionally, if you've identified a risk, then next step is to identify the likelihood of that situation occurring as well as mitigations for that risk so you can handle the issue should it arise. It's unfortunate that there are so many of the fear based naysayers in your life; perhaps you guys could stick to safer conversation topics like politics or religion ;)
I think the biggest risk is doing nothing and working until you're 65+, or worse yet getting laid of in your late 50's and not being able to find another job. How is it that those risks don't keep everyone up at night?
Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
9y
@Sarah D. thank you for the response! I will be letting my work do the talking for me from here on out! I am deathly afraid of having to work until I'm 65+ and really having nothing to show for it like many of my family members will most likely do. You are exactly right that the risk of doing that should be much higher than the risk of losing some money on an investment. I cannot and will not just sit on the sidelines..
Investor · Bensalem, PA · Member since 2011 · 146 posts · 93 votes
9y
@Jessie Nunley Either stay away from them or wash them out of your life for good. I couldn't be more serious. Wasted 2 solid decades listening to my family say NO, or im crazy, I'm an idiot for trying that blah blah blah. Mid 2000's I literally pushed them all out of my life, every single negative one of them, yes including my mom (But I stil call to say hi) 6 months after I did that. I made $186,000 on a major flx and flip. $186,000 AFTER my expenses. Right after I bought the house I got laid off. I used whatever money I had left in my bank account to pay the mortgage and fix up the place. I quickly ran out of money so I cleaned buses at night. The car I used to transport all the materials was a 1988 Lincoln Town car. I read book after book on how to do wiring, drywall, tiling plumbing because I couldn't hire any contractors. I started believing EVERYTHING my family for years would say to me. I can't tell you how many times I sat inside that house alone and cried cursing myself. But the next morning I rolled over and got to work ... And then one day I was finally done....... After the sale the money was wired to my account at 3pm I remember sitting in my car looking at my phone and seeing my bank account on my screen and $186k, I was numb the whole day, drove around for hours going no where, then later I cried, because I internalized all that negativity for years and years from my own family (I wanted to start RE when I was 17, I almost gave up numerous times rehabbing that house, their voices kept creeping in telling me I was stupid, I can't do it.
F Them dude, stay away from them, and make YOUR life better. The fact you can think about it means you have the capability to do it. I never told anyone that story, but what you said hit a chord within me, but its as real as the day it happened.
Investor and CPA · Arvada, CO · Member since 2015 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes
9y
Use their fears to play "what if" scenarios.
I had family members say "what if the economy tanks?" Read up on that and figure out how you would protect yourself against that.
"what if the tenant trashes the place". Read up on how to protect yourself from that and minimize that risk.
"what if they don't pay rent" Find out how to protect against that.
Listen to what they say, listen to their fears, listen to the horror stories. They're not wrong. What they are saying has happened to **somebody** and has ruined lives. Figure out how to minimize the risk, protect against those fears and then continue forward.