Engagement vs. Down Payment?

Scott JohnsonBusiness Member

Specialist · Greenville, NC · Member since 2019 · 673 posts · 408 votes

7y

@Caleb Heimsoth, Adam ruins everything doesn’t he?! I take the same stance.

Scott JohnsonBusiness Member

Specialist · Greenville, NC · Member since 2019 · 673 posts · 408 votes

7y

@Anthony Wick

I’m 100% with Anthony on this. Listen to the episode of the Rich Dad Radio show where Robert interviews Kevin O’Leary. He outlines the mindset we’ll.

Or just use the asset to buy your liability. Why not have both? Find out how much the monthly payments are to finance the ring, and buy a property that cash flows that or more per month.

Simple, effective and you get both! Hire a property manager and now you focus PRIMARILY on school. Just make sure to do your property walks and review your PM’s reports he sends.

Amy Beth

Rental Property Investor · Edison, NJ · Member since 2016 · 753 posts · 565 votes

7y

@Devin James. I would wait to house hack until you graduate from law school. You may end up needing to move out of the area for your school or hers and a house ties you down.

Instead I would save as much as you can to avoid school debt. If you can save enough money and hopefully earn more scholarships for law school, then whatever money is left over you can use for a downpayment on a house then. Also I hate to mention this but if you happen to get injured you could end up losing your scholarship for athletics if you can’t play anymore so having a cushion for undergrad is a good idea too so that you can finish your education.

Also considering your age 5 grand is a lot to spend on an engagement ring. I would find one for far less. If she is the right person for you she would still be happy with a ring that costs a lot less than that. If she is that high maintenance it is best to date her for longer and then decide if you want to marry her. That will be hard to maintain long term and be successful in real estate.

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Scott Johnson Definitely sounds like a great option, Thank you!

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Amy Beth Thank you! and she isn’t really high maintenance I just think she deserves the best of the best

Nicole Heasley Beitenman

Investor · Youngstown, OH · Member since 2017 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes

7y

Why is this an either-or situation? You can get a beautiful, quality ring for a couple hundred bucks. My boyfriend and I are talking about engagement, and I told him he shouldn't spend more than $300-400.

2 Reply

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Nicole Heasley Your right, both is best!

Allie PfannenstielPro Member

Real Estate Agent · Scottsdale, AZ · Member since 2017 · 159 posts · 59 votes

7y

@Devin James

I say ask your grandparents for an heirloom ring if they have something to pass down from generation to generation and get a house! :)

3 Reply

Julie Fullmer

Member since 2019 · 58 posts · 7 votes

7y

@Devin James I commend you on your staying out of debt so far! That really puts you ahead in life! Personally I think you should talk to your girlfriend. You need to be a united team to have a great marriage and it needs to especially cover finances! We have been married almost 27 years and believe money can cause a lot of stress in a marriage! Personally I would want the security of the well planned house hack investment rather than an expensive ring but I am a practical person. Maybe really simple rings for the time being with a goal of 'we work on this together and whatever profit we make at such a time or such and such a deal we go buy you a REALLY special ring set....' Get her excited about the future benefits.... Just my two cents. God bless! 😁

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Julie Fullmer Great perspective, Thank you!

Joel Fine

Rental Property Investor · Leander, TX · Member since 2018 · 183 posts · 264 votes

7y

Buy the house. After a few years, it will buy you a ring every year for the rest of your lives.

Steve Bronder

Rental Property Investor · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 9 posts · 18 votes

7y

Finish college and buy some rentals if you can before getting married. If she's the one she'll definitely understand that it's what's best for your future together!

Andrea Townsley

Real Estate Agent · Gainesville, FL · Member since 2019 · 63 posts · 52 votes

7y

Do not buy an engagement ring. Or buy a cheap one (like no more than $500). That stuff is overrated and simply a status symbol. She should understand that this is a matter of your future financial stability versus having a thing that is expensive and looks nice.

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Jordan MoorheadBusiness Member

Real Estate Agent · Austin, TX · Member since 2015 · 5k+ posts · 3k+ votes

7y

@Devin James buy the ring man. A investment house won’t be a life long partner.

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Andrea Townsley

Real Estate Agent · Gainesville, FL · Member since 2019 · 63 posts · 52 votes

7y

A lot of people here assuming there will be no marriage without a fancy ring first. It doesn’t have to be that way. Likewise a pricey wedding doesn’t need to take place. What matters is the relationship itself. If you spend $5k on a ring and $30k on a wedding, imagine how far that will set you back in your investment goals. Part of adulting is making choices like this that include sacrifices that lead us ultimately to a better life.

For me, I got married at age 22 and I picked out a $100 ring and we got married at the courthouse. My parents had BBQ catered for a family-only reception in their backyard. We wanted to buy a house within a year of getting married so we were very conservative in our spending. I hate to see when people think all these expenditures need to happen to even get married in the first place. The amount of money spent on engagement and wedding could pay for a car...or it could finance a flip.

You can always spring for a nice ring later or renew your vows with a big reception for your anniversary down the line.

Megan T.

FL · Member since 2016 · 73 posts · 58 votes

7y

Congrats on finding your life partner! That is one of the most important things you can do on your path to financial success.

My only advice is if you choose the ring, that is just step one. The wedding itself will be expensive (average wedding is $30k) and time consuming. So don't buy the ring unless you are ready to pay for the wedding. If you end up with a three year engagement saving up for the wedding, you could have a cash flowing rental property during that time. If your families are willing to help pay for the wedding, consider asking them to help pay for the rental property.

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Andrea Townsley Thank you for your advice! Great perspective, I didn’t think about the other costs.

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Megan T. Great standpoint, Thank you!

Neil Pradhanang

Realtor · Paramus, NJ · Member since 2019 · 71 posts · 35 votes

7y

@Devin James man am I in a similar boat as you!

At the end of the day, do what you think will make both you and your future wife happy. People will give you advice which is nice but it comes down to being able to live with your decisions and being good with it! Good luck to you!

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JD MartinBusiness Member

Moderator

Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes

7y

My take: any woman that expected a $5k ring from me at 19 would have been married to someone else. She may be nice, super great, etc, but spending that kind of money on a ring for someone of your age and means is ridiculous.

"Do what makes you happy" is EXACTLY why the poor don't have a pot to piss in. People getting started in life used to have $100 rings and weddings in their parent's back yard. Now they have to have $5k rings and $20k weddings so they'll have something neat to remember in 5 years when they're getting a divorce and deciding who gets to keep the $3k photo albums.

Don't "do what makes you happy". Do what makes you rich. Happiness is a fleeting emotion that comes and goes almost infinitely from day to day. Do you know that $5k, with no other money put towards it, invested at a conservative 6% annual rate, compounded once per year, will give you almost $30k in 30 years?

Money doesn't buy you happiness. But it does buy you time. And those with more time tend to be happier. If your girlfriend can't feel joy looking at her finger with a $500 ring, knowing it symbolizes your love, you (and she) have bigger problems to deal with.

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2 Reply

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@Neil Pradhanang So true, thank you!

David Dachtera

Rental Property Investor · Rockford, IL · Member since 2014 · 4k+ posts · 2k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Devin James:

Hello all! I am in a dillema and that is whether I should purchase an engagement ring or use the money to put down on my first house. Here is some info about me:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for 6 years (since 8th grade) and I have no doubt in my mind that she is the one I want to marry. Since December 2018 I have been a member of bigger pockets, studying and reading as much as I can about real estate. I plan to attend law school in the fall of 2020, and I want to buy my first property in lawschool with an FHA loan ( law school is 3 years long). I have been saving up money from my part time job since December 2018 and I have a goal of $10,000 by the end of the year. I am 19 years old and I will be graduating undergrad in the spring of 2020. My girlfriend is 20 and she graduates in the fall of 2019 but uncertain on if she will go to grad school or not.

Any advice is appreciated!

- also, I will graduate undergrad with no student loans due to an athletic scholorship and I plan on going to a law school that offers me the most money.

Hi, Devin,

I'm going to be something of a contrarian here. Not to discourage you from anything, just to provide another perspective which may provoke thought ...

You've been dating since before high school. That's great. It means you have a strong relationship basis. You didn't say what her interests are. How do your plans and ambitions mesh with hers?

Consider also that any plans you two may have about starting a family are going to have an impact on your plans for the future. One my local colleagues will be taking a year or two(?) hiatus to have a baby ... not sure how well planned that was, but ...

You're looking to pay for your early college years with an athletic scholarship. Have you considered providing YOUR OWN "scholarship" by first learning to be an entrepreneur in real estate?

You have an end-of-year goal of $10,000. How much do you have now? Do you know how to leverage that into an income-producing investment which will help you finance your plans for the future?

The earlier you start building wealth the more wealth you will be able to create for your later years. Law school - indeed, all higher education - will always be there, if you're still passionate about it when money is no longer an object.

My $0.02 ...

Devin JamesPro Member

OP

Developer · Orlando, FL · Member since 2018 · 502 posts · 306 votes

7y

@David Dachtera Right now ive saved up $5,000, we both have similar goals and she supports the idea of REI. Every day I am looking at properties and analysing properties around the law schools that I plan to attend. I am learning a lot right now to get a grasp on the markets.

Glenn Weld

Property Manager · Eudora, KS · Member since 2019 · 4 posts · 1 vote

7y

100% get married. Don't spend too much on the ring though, you can buy her lots of diamonds when your rich!