Maybe I am old school...but I really think if you reach out to someone to make a colleague request on Bigger Pockets that you should make an introduction...send a message with your request and maybe suggest why you would like to connect? At the very least you should have had some dialogue going in a forum post. Otherwise it is just SPAM! And BIG TIP for anyone that does not have a profile picture...please consider adding one as most of us on here do not want to be colleagues with just a name. And please please please do not reach out in pure solicitation (again SPAM). Many of us have enough of that and I have always viewed Bigger Pockets as a place for learning, education, networking, and collaboration. If we develop a relationship through any of those angles then feel free to make your pitch if it is relevant.

A few years ago, your dashboard would show who your colleagues were now connected with. A few of my 'colleagues' would connect with every new person under the sun so my dashboard was worthlessly clogged with those. A few of my colleagues had over 5000 connections, adding a dozen+ a day. I removed the high connect people and was trained to be more selective with new colleagues. No message or prior dialogue? No pic or location? Asking a bunch of technical questions right away? No way. Your stuff will clog my dashboard, keeping me from seeing others I like keeping apprised of. I don't think I've ever sent a colleague request without a message. Disrespectful IMO. Can't take 2 secs to say hey or why? All I need to know.

There is one good reason to not just accept any colleague request - because that gives the colleague access to your profile's contact information. Since I have gotten phone calls and emails from "time wasters", I have found that being particular about colleague requests is a necessary filter. The only times I accept colleague requests without an accompanying message is when it is from somebody I already know - we are already colleagues elsewhere, so being colleagues anywhere else like on BP makes sense. Otherwise, the time wasters can waste their own time sending me a colleague request that won't be accepted by me - but guess what, they didn't really waste that much of their own time, they just clicked a couple of links.

The difference between followers and colleagues is that anyone can follow you without you needing to accept. By following they will see your new posts on their main screen. A colleague has access to see your full profile. But it partly depends on security settings. Your profile seems to be wide-open so anyone can see it without being a colleague. My profile is locked down, so you need to be a colleague to see my profile. I would argue in your case, since you don't have any profile security that accepting people as colleagues is really no big deal. We all have different views on what it means. I know people on Facebook with a thousand "friends". Personally I keep Facebook to real life friends and family. My LinkedIn has over a thousand, which includes many people I only met one time. The difference for me is that one is a business network and the other is a personal network. It seems you prefer a personal connection in all your business connections. That is cool. Just a different perspective.

I more or less accept most of them unless it's some obvious spam. I almost always accept them from new members who appear to be here for fellowship rather than sell something, even without a message. Some people find it tough to "break in" to a new crowd, and if they feel like they can connect with me more power to them. Aside from that, I'm humbled that anyone wants to connect with me as a colleague anyway - I certainly don't have anywhere near the credentials that some of you guys (that's gals too in NY/NJ speak) have; far be it for me to be pompous about it. That's not to criticize those who are more selective, because I get their point of view. It can real easy start getting clogged up with a bunch of people that make no contributions or just want to sell stuff. As for me, however, I always find @Steve Vaughan, @Jay Hinrichs, @Joe Splitrock, @Mike Dymski, et al's posts anyway without the colleague stuff, so I'm good :)

when I vote on a post from someone new or I don't know.. I enjoy getting a thank you from them in the form of a colleague request I always think that is good form.. I cant thank everyone who votes for me :) and some times I wonder why what I said was so popular..

Is there any etiquette left on social media?

Marcia Maynard

Investor · Vancouver, WA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes

7y

Ditto.

I won't accept a colleague request unless the requester has completed their BP Profile (including photo). I also won't accept a colleague request unless they include a message that resonates with me.

7 Reply

Tony Castronovo

OP

Rental Property Investor · Park City, UT · Member since 2016 · 678 posts · 531 votes

7y

Seems like a good policy @Marcia Maynard

0 Reply

Mike Dymski

Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes

7y

colleague

/ˈkälēɡ/

noun

noun: colleague; plural noun: colleagues

a person with whom one works, especially in a profession or business.
synonyms: coworker, fellow worker, workmate, teammate, associate, partner, collaborator, ally, confederate

A colleague request without being a colleague is just a request...for what I don't know but it's likely not good.

2 Reply

Russell BrazilBusiness Member

Moderator

Real Estate Agent · Washington, D.C. · Member since 2012 · 17k+ posts · 30k+ votes

7y

With everything thats wrong in the world and on the internet, I could care less if someone adds a note when they send me a colleague request. Usually theyve done so because they enjoyed something you wrote in the forums. Theres not much reason to turn something thats neutral to slightly positive into a negative.

[email protected]301-893-4635 Podcast Guest on Show #192

District Invest Group545 Reviews

Website View Page

34 Reply

Cody L.

Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes

7y

BP is “social media” ?

I get tons of college requests. I just accept them. Is there a downside I’m not aware of to doing so? I have a ton of these ‘connections’ even though I’ve never made a request. Not sure why these people want to ‘add me’ but I figure if it helps them somehow more power to ‘em

14 Reply

Christopher Phillips

Real Estate Agent · Garden City, NY · Member since 2016 · 3k+ posts · 1k+ votes

7y

@Tony Castronovo

I accept all requests, with or without a photo or an explanation. I agree with @Russell Brazil People may have like someone you wrote and are just still semi lurking. Reaching out is a first step. I have yet to have an issue with spam. And, I would rather just risk it vs. turning down someone potentially reaching out.

9 Reply

Tony Castronovo

OP

Rental Property Investor · Park City, UT · Member since 2016 · 678 posts · 531 votes

7y

@Russell Brazil, @Cody L., @Christopher Phillips...you all bring up good points. I guess there isn't really a downside and these folks could just be lurking and trying to take some initial steps. I guess I'd just prefer to have true colleagues (like @Mike Dymski defined) than random "connections". Again, it's probably just my old school thinking.

1 Reply

Cody L.

Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Tony Castronovo:

@Russell Brazil, @Cody L., @Christopher Phillips...you all bring up good points. I guess there isn't really a downside and these folks could just be lurking and trying to take some initial steps. I guess I'd just prefer to have true colleagues (like @Mike Dymski defined) than random "connections". Again, it's probably just my old school thinking.

I’m not really making an argument for adding connections so much as I don’t see the downside (or what they’re for here honestly)

On actual social media platforms (ie facebook, the only one I use) I only add people I know in real life and want to share personal stuff with.

2 Reply

Jay HinrichsBusiness Member

Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes

7y

I am with @Cody L. on this one I still can figure out what these Colleague request actually do..

So generally I accept them without really any thought process.

the only thing that I really wont respond to .. is the message were the person just starts right in on their problem or seeking advice without any pre amble or courtesy.. just in my mind they think because we are here we owe it to them to write their business plan for them LOL>. And I guess just depends on my mood that day.

what I think though is wild is the fake lenders that try to get a conversation going only to obviously try to scam you out of a few dollars. get one of those about once a month..

And of course the cut and paste advertisement etc etc..

But no picture no profile I don't really care about that..

Podcast Guest on Show #222

JLH Capital Partners51 Review

Website View Page

3 Reply

Mike Dymski

Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes

7y

@Russell Brazil @Cody L.@Jay Hinrichs Some of us like to be selective about accepting colleague requests. When our colleagues reply to posts, we see those posts when we first open BP. With the tens of thousands of posts on BP, it helps to narrow down the posts that will have good content and replies because our (experienced) colleagues have responded to them...the three of you included.

2 Reply

Jay HinrichsBusiness Member

Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes

7y

@Mike Dymski OK you lost me.. how do you see if a colleagues replied to one of your posts.. do you get a special alert. I have never seen that.. ?? Just curious..

Podcast Guest on Show #222

JLH Capital Partners51 Review

Website View Page

2 Reply

Joe SplitrockPro Member

Moderator

Rental Property Investor · Sioux Falls, SD · Member since 2015 · 9k+ posts · 18k+ votes

7y

@Tony Castronovo most people who utilize social media in business go to great lengths to increase the number of colleagues/friends/followers. I get plenty of junk messages, but I just ignore them and never considered it was important enough to generate a forum post. You must have a personality type that is easily annoyed and feel the need to share that with others.

2 Reply

Bill F.

Investor · Boston, MA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 3k+ votes

7y

I'm more selective in which colleague requests I accept for the reasons @Mike Dymski mentioned and rarely accept one that isn't accompanied by a message. I like to actually know about the person and don't like the feeling of "collecting" people in my network. Dunbar's number tells us that we can only really know up to around 250 people so I fail to see the point in having a bunch of colleagues.

Plus I'm not an agent, wholeseller, lender, SDIRA specialist, syndicator, ect so I'm not using this platform advertise, drum up business, or prove my bona fides to potential investors. Not that there is anything wrong with using BP to do those things.

I'm here to learn as much as I can from people who have forgotten more about RE than I'll ever know and, if I can, pass on the few things I've learned to others. If a meet some like minded people and network with them, all the better.

@Jay Hinrichs, If you have BP bookmarked to biggerpockets[dot]com it automatically redirects to your Dashborad (first link under your profile on Desktop when logged on),and it shows you a bunch of different things, one of them being the threads that your colleagues have posted on.

That is how I found this thread actually. Mike posted on it and since he always has high quality and/or funny posts, I wanted to see his thoughts.

Now the obvious counter to this idea that having too many colleagues clutters your dashboard to the point of uselessness is that people could want to see what you have posted and that's why they colleague requested you. Valid point, but that's what I think the follow option is for, but I'm not 100% clear on the difference between a follower and colleague. I'm 90% certain that people I follow post's come up on my dashboard.

If you don't use your dashboard this point is moot...

But, I think why you came to BP in the first place drives your views on things such as this.

2 Reply

Jay HinrichsBusiness Member

Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Bill F.:

I'm more selective in which colleague requests I accept for the reasons @Mike Dymski mentioned and rarely accept one that isn't accompanied by a message. I like to actually know about the person and don't like the feeling of "collecting" people in my network. Dunbar's number tells us that we can only really know up to around 250 people so I fail to see the point in having a bunch of colleagues.

Plus I'm not an agent, wholeseller, lender, SDIRA specialist, syndicator, ect so I'm not using this platform advertise, drum up business, or prove my bona fides to potential investors. Not that there is anything wrong with using BP to do those things.

I'm here to learn as much as I can from people who have forgotten more about RE than I'll ever know and, if I can, pass on the few things I've learned to others. If a meet some like minded people and network with them, all the better.

@Jay Hinrichs, If you have BP bookmarked to biggerpockets[dot]com it automatically redirects to your Dashborad (first link under your profile on Desktop when logged on),and it shows you a bunch of different things, one of them being the threads that your colleagues have posted on.

That is how I found this thread actually. Mike posted on it and since he always has high quality and/or funny posts, I wanted to see his thoughts.

Now the obvious counter to this idea that having too many colleagues clutters your dashboard to the point of uselessness is that people could want to see what you have posted and that's why they colleague requested you. Valid point, but that's what I think the follow option is for, but I'm not 100% clear on the difference between a follower and colleague. I'm 90% certain that people I follow post's come up on my dashboard.

If you don't use your dashboard this point is moot...

But, I think why you came to BP in the first place drives your views on things such as this.

Thanks Bill since I collected Colleagues indiscriminately I would get way to many notifications. I have turned off all of my notifications as it is.. have a good week guys and gals.

Podcast Guest on Show #222

JLH Capital Partners51 Review

Website View Page

1 Reply

Michaela G.

Investor · Atlanta, GA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes

7y

I don't accept requests that aren't sent with a note. Have no interest in collecting colleagues, just like I don't collect 'friends' on FB.

2 Reply

Bill F.

Investor · Boston, MA · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 3k+ votes

7y

@Jay Hinrichs Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get the difference!

I don't get a notification when a colleague or someone I follow makes a post, I THINK it just pops up on my dashboard, but I have also monkeyed around with my notifications so I have no idea what is "standard".

Even if you are filling up their inbox every time you post, they asked for it..

0 Reply

Peter TverdovBusiness Member

Developer · New Brunswick, NJ · Member since 2015 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

7y

Requests without a message get deleted. It's weird...

[email protected]732-289-3823

0 Reply

Darius Tracy

Buford, GA · Member since 2017 · 50 posts · 13 votes

7y

I agree totally with the sentiments of @Russell Brazil, @Cody L., and @Christopher Phillips. A huge part of the reason that as a newbie I was drawn to BP was the sense of community and overall friendliness and willingness to help. I have sent colleague requests to individuals simply because their take on a particular subject was intriguing and possibly refreshing and most importantly knowledgeable. Those individuals accepted and didn’t have to take me to dinner or caress my hair through the night so overall it was harmless. No disrespect to anyone but the last thing that this beautiful platform of investing harmony needs is a cliquish prove you are worthy to be in my digital presence atmosphere. The lack of that pompous attitude is what keeps a regular joe like myself and many others like me constantly logging in.

4 Reply

Lisa Maturo

Investor · Tempe, AZ · Member since 2018 · 41 posts · 17 votes

7y

I'm a newbie to how things work on this site and wasn't really familiar with what a colleague request was exactly, initially I equated it with a friend request on Facebook. I guess I still don't really know what makes someone a colleague on here, but it seems like sort of one step up from following, like a way of saying you are really interested in staying in touch for future. That is how I interpreted it ? Anyway, now that I read this thread I kind of feel like a turd for requesting to be a colleague prematurely on a few. Oh well, I do think it is harmless though and not necessarily spammers looking to sell you stuff. If they turn into that, can you un-colleague them? :-)

0 Reply

Matthew G.

Specialist · Pasadena, CA · Member since 2017 · 133 posts · 86 votes

7y

BP is a great community, but it's more of an educational forum than a social network. It's unlike true social networks that use graph networks to recommend people you might know. The colleague requests is more just for PMs.

I understand not connecting with random people on LinkedIn because it makes it harder to request introductions to your 2nd tier connections when you don't know the 1st tier person you've added. On BP there doesn't seem to be any harm.

If they make this into an actual social network, then I would probably consider being more selective. Until then just treat BP colleagues like bitcoin. Maybe one day those digital colleagues will be worth something and you'll be pleasantly surprised that you have them.

0 Reply

Brian Pulaski

Flipper/Rehabber · Montgomery, NY · Member since 2016 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes

7y

I don't need accept them all. If they are local or a regular contributor I will. I feel they are from nowhere near me and never post I probably wouldn't accept the request.

0 Reply

Doug Orchard

Specialist · Tacoma, WA · Member since 2016 · 73 posts · 30 votes

7y

@Russell Brazil. Thank you. Your sentiment is what I would expect from most of the users of the forum as they tend to be positive successful people. On the other hand twitter and GAB are so rampant with negative attacks at every turn I won’t even go there. Which is good for me because I learn a lot more hear. Cheers.

1 Reply

Doug Orchard

Specialist · Tacoma, WA · Member since 2016 · 73 posts · 30 votes

7y

@Ty Frankel :( bummer

0 Reply

Tony Castronovo

OP

Rental Property Investor · Park City, UT · Member since 2016 · 678 posts · 531 votes

7y

Good to see the various perspectives. @Joe Splitrock I didn't post it to announce to the world how annoyed I was, but rather to raise a topic that I felt no one had addressed. Perhaps my mistake was equating colleague requests too much like FB friend requests, or Linked-In connections, etc. It doesn't seem to be the case as many of you have pointed out. Thanks for that perspective. I will say though that most of the folks who I am colleagues with I have had some sort of dialogue with...and many have turned into mentoring and/or face-to-face meetings....and even some really good friends.

@Darius Tracy and @Lisa Maturo I was not trying to inhibit any reaching out as you are right that this is the spirit of BP that has made it what it is. I was just suggesting to add some sort of relevance to the request. Isn't the whole idea of making a colleague request so that you might interact with / create a dialogue with that person because you find what they have to say or might say interesting and helpful?

As some of you have noted, there is no harm in accepting random colleague requests. Although I am still curious what the heck they really do and how they differ from Followers.

Thanks again for voicing your opinions

0 Reply

Matt A.

Investor · St Augustine, FL · Member since 2016 · 136 posts · 126 votes

7y

Same for LinkedIN, Facebook, etc.

Seems I get several requests every day that go unanswered on many platforms. My montra, "If I don't know ya, delete. If I dont have SOME type of dialogue with you, delete"

0 Reply

Is there any etiquette left on social media?

Is there any etiquette left on social media?

Most Popular Reply

43 Replies