Maybe I am old school...but I really think if you reach out to someone to make a colleague request on Bigger Pockets that you should make an introduction...send a message with your request and maybe suggest why you would like to connect? At the very least you should have had some dialogue going in a forum post. Otherwise it is just SPAM! And BIG TIP for anyone that does not have a profile picture...please consider adding one as most of us on here do not want to be colleagues with just a name. And please please please do not reach out in pure solicitation (again SPAM). Many of us have enough of that and I have always viewed Bigger Pockets as a place for learning, education, networking, and collaboration. If we develop a relationship through any of those angles then feel free to make your pitch if it is relevant.

With everything thats wrong in the world and on the internet, I could care less if someone adds a note when they send me a colleague request. Usually theyve done so because they enjoyed something you wrote in the forums. Theres not much reason to turn something thats neutral to slightly positive into a negative.

BP is “social media” ? I get tons of college requests. I just accept them. Is there a downside I’m not aware of to doing so? I have a ton of these ‘connections’ even though I’ve never made a request. Not sure why these people want to ‘add me’ but I figure if it helps them somehow more power to ‘em

@Tony Castronovo I accept all requests, with or without a photo or an explanation. I agree with @Russell Brazil People may have like someone you wrote and are just still semi lurking. Reaching out is a first step. I have yet to have an issue with spam. And, I would rather just risk it vs. turning down someone potentially reaching out.

Ditto. I won't accept a colleague request unless the requester has completed their BP Profile (including photo). I also won't accept a colleague request unless they include a message that resonates with me.

Is there any etiquette left on social media?

Brian LaPorte

Rental Property Investor · Cleveland, OH · Member since 2018 · 21 posts · 10 votes

7y

@Tony Castronovo I agree and say the same thing about Linked In. Can someone help me out, as I’m definitely guilty of this many times. When using the app on my phone, the option to send a note along with the request doesn’t pop up. Is there a way to do it, or can you only do it when you’re on a computer on the full site? Brian

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Jim K.

Handyman · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes

7y

I can see both sides of this. Yes, I agree it is frankly discourteous to send a stranger anything called a "colleague request" and not include any sort of personal note. It annoys me a bit for the same simple reason many things like this annoy me -- that's how I was raised.

But there are a lot of people for whom simply reaching out is a significant act of will, especially as a freshly-joined. habitually introverted BP member contemplating reaching out to people with many posts and likes. People to whom words don't come easily. Who are not secure about looking less than fully articulate in digital print, or are simply not good at the whole tech thing for various reasons.

But they are not people of ill intent, and I'll take sincerity over polish in the people I communicate with any day.

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Paul B.

Rental Property Investor · Dallas, TX · Member since 2015 · 503 posts · 504 votes

7y

Whenever someone votes on your post, you get an alert about it, and the email actually suggests that you send them a colleague request. I suppose the idea is that if someone liked what you had to say once, maybe you should start a dialogue with them. But it seems like a stretch to me. I often "like" posts by someone I haven't seen before, which means that if they send me a colleague request later that day, I won't recognize the name and I'll assume it is someone just adding everyone they see.

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Cody L.

Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Bill F.:

I'm more selective in which colleague requests I accept for the reasons @Mike Dymski mentioned and rarely accept one that isn't accompanied by a message. I like to actually know about the person and don't like the feeling of "collecting" people in my network. Dunbar's number tells us that we can only really know up to around 250 people so I fail to see the point in having a bunch of colleagues.

Plus I'm not an agent, wholeseller, lender, SDIRA specialist, syndicator, ect so I'm not using this platform advertise, drum up business, or prove my bona fides to potential investors. Not that there is anything wrong with using BP to do those things.

I'm here to learn as much as I can from people who have forgotten more about RE than I'll ever know and, if I can, pass on the few things I've learned to others. If a meet some like minded people and network with them, all the better.

@Jay Hinrichs, If you have BP bookmarked to biggerpockets[dot]com it automatically redirects to your Dashborad (first link under your profile on Desktop when logged on),and it shows you a bunch of different things, one of them being the threads that your colleagues have posted on.

That is how I found this thread actually. Mike posted on it and since he always has high quality and/or funny posts, I wanted to see his thoughts.

Now the obvious counter to this idea that having too many colleagues clutters your dashboard to the point of uselessness is that people could want to see what you have posted and that's why they colleague requested you. Valid point, but that's what I think the follow option is for, but I'm not 100% clear on the difference between a follower and colleague. I'm 90% certain that people I follow post's come up on my dashboard.

If you don't use your dashboard this point is moot...

But, I think why you came to BP in the first place drives your views on things such as this.

Sounds like bp needs a “follow” feature so you can chose to follow those who you’ve want to be notified about new posts rather than assuming you want to be notified of all your colleagues.

Then again that would make the idea of a “colleague” that much more pointless I guess.

0 Reply

Cody L.

Rental Property Investor · San Diego, CA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs:

I am with @Cody L. on this one I still can figure out what these Colleague request actually do..

So generally I accept them without really any thought process.

the only thing that I really wont respond to .. is the message were the person just starts right in on their problem or seeking advice without any pre amble or courtesy.. just in my mind they think because we are here we owe it to them to write their business plan for them LOL>. And I guess just depends on my mood that day.

what I think though is wild is the fake lenders that try to get a conversation going only to obviously try to scam you out of a few dollars. get one of those about once a month..

And of course the cut and paste advertisement etc etc..

But no picture no profile I don't really care about that..

I think we use this site very similar. I don’t even look at my notifications other than mentions. And from time to time keywords (though I only have two)

I’ve also never made a colleague request and I have I-don’t-know how many colleagues. I’ve wondered why I’m sent them so often. Can’t be the odd stuff I post so I assume people send them to everyone.

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Darius Tracy

Buford, GA · Member since 2017 · 50 posts · 13 votes

7y

@Tony Castronovo The beauty in BP is there can be contrasting ideas and points of view mostly without negativity. Just you posting this thread allowed intelligent dialogue and honestly now I fully understand why some would be more selective with their requests after reading this. Either way great thread for opening the floor for this type of discussion. It all goes into serving to make the BP community even better.

1 Reply

Joe SplitrockPro Member

Moderator

Rental Property Investor · Sioux Falls, SD · Member since 2015 · 9k+ posts · 18k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Tony Castronovo:

Good to see the various perspectives. @Joe Splitrock I didn't post it to announce to the world how annoyed I was, but rather to raise a topic that I felt no one had addressed. Perhaps my mistake was equating colleague requests too much like FB friend requests, or Linked-In connections, etc. It doesn't seem to be the case as many of you have pointed out. Thanks for that perspective. I will say though that most of the folks who I am colleagues with I have had some sort of dialogue with...and many have turned into mentoring and/or face-to-face meetings....and even some really good friends.

@Darius Tracy and @Lisa Maturo I was not trying to inhibit any reaching out as you are right that this is the spirit of BP that has made it what it is. I was just suggesting to add some sort of relevance to the request. Isn't the whole idea of making a colleague request so that you might interact with / create a dialogue with that person because you find what they have to say or might say interesting and helpful?

As some of you have noted, there is no harm in accepting random colleague requests. Although I am still curious what the heck they really do and how they differ from Followers.

Thanks again for voicing your opinions

The difference between followers and colleagues is that anyone can follow you without you needing to accept. By following they will see your new posts on their main screen. A colleague has access to see your full profile. But it partly depends on security settings. Your profile seems to be wide-open so anyone can see it without being a colleague. My profile is locked down, so you need to be a colleague to see my profile. I would argue in your case, since you don't have any profile security that accepting people as colleagues is really no big deal.

We all have different views on what it means. I know people on Facebook with a thousand "friends". Personally I keep Facebook to real life friends and family. My LinkedIn has over a thousand, which includes many people I only met one time. The difference for me is that one is a business network and the other is a personal network. It seems you prefer a personal connection in all your business connections. That is cool. Just a different perspective.

4 Reply

Steve Vaughan

Rental Property Investor · East Wenatchee, WA · Member since 2014 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes

7y

A few years ago, your dashboard would show who your colleagues were now connected with. A few of my 'colleagues' would connect with every new person under the sun so my dashboard was worthlessly clogged with those. A few of my colleagues had over 5000 connections, adding a dozen+ a day.

I removed the high connect people and was trained to be more selective with new colleagues. No message or prior dialogue? No pic or location? Asking a bunch of technical questions right away? No way. Your stuff will clog my dashboard, keeping me from seeing others I like keeping apprised of.

I don't think I've ever sent a colleague request without a message. Disrespectful IMO. Can't take 2 secs to say hey or why? All I need to know.

8 Reply

Account Closed

Lender · Atlanta, GA · Member since 2018 · 108 posts · 28 votes

7y

Out of the many social media sites, Biggerpockets is most a community because we are all focused on real estate and having a profile picture adds a personal touch of accountability.

1 Reply

Jay HinrichsBusiness Member

Real Estate Consultant · Summerlin, NV · Member since 2014 · 45k+ posts · 66k+ votes

7y

Originally posted by @Paul B.:

Whenever someone votes on your post, you get an alert about it, and the email actually suggests that you send them a colleague request. I suppose the idea is that if someone liked what you had to say once, maybe you should start a dialogue with them. But it seems like a stretch to me. I often "like" posts by someone I haven't seen before, which means that if they send me a colleague request later that day, I won't recognize the name and I'll assume it is someone just adding everyone they see.

when I vote on a post from someone new or I don't know.. I enjoy getting a thank you from them in the form of a colleague request I always think that is good form.. I cant thank everyone who votes for me :) and some times I wonder why what I said was so popular..

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JD MartinBusiness Member

Moderator

Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes

7y

I more or less accept most of them unless it's some obvious spam. I almost always accept them from new members who appear to be here for fellowship rather than sell something, even without a message. Some people find it tough to "break in" to a new crowd, and if they feel like they can connect with me more power to them. Aside from that, I'm humbled that anyone wants to connect with me as a colleague anyway - I certainly don't have anywhere near the credentials that some of you guys (that's gals too in NY/NJ speak) have; far be it for me to be pompous about it.

That's not to criticize those who are more selective, because I get their point of view. It can real easy start getting clogged up with a bunch of people that make no contributions or just want to sell stuff. As for me, however, I always find @Steve Vaughan, @Jay Hinrichs, @Joe Splitrock, @Mike Dymski, et al's posts anyway without the colleague stuff, so I'm good :)

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Chris Sawtelle

Santa Clara, CA · Member since 2016 · 17 posts · 6 votes

7y

I just realized this as I was sending requests to every in Redding. The BP interface didn't make a suggestion to send a personalized message it just has the "Connect" button and off it goes. Due to ignorance on my end, a lot of people are going to be getting blank connection requests :)

0 Reply

Brian Ploszay

Investor · Chicago, IL · Member since 2009 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

7y

I find Bigger Pockets to be very informal, as it should be. I don't personally know most of you, unless you are in my immediate market. Bigger Pockets for me is more of an idea-sharing platform, and less connecting.

0 Reply

Account Closed

Investor · Surprise, AZ · Member since 2018 · 156 posts · 110 votes

7y

I have sent messages and connected with a few folks that had very knowledgeable posts on areas I'm interested in, in my area, in a location that I have a home in and others where I might invest in at a future time. I have had a few where we went back and forth on email, met up for lunch, REIA meetings, exchanging ideas because we're both new, etc.

I hope to connect with and make many more friends (colleagues) on BP!

0 Reply

Steve Babiak

Real Estate Investor · Audubon, PA · Member since 2009 · 13k+ posts · 8k+ votes

7y

There is one good reason to not just accept any colleague request - because that gives the colleague access to your profile's contact information. Since I have gotten phone calls and emails from "time wasters", I have found that being particular about colleague requests is a necessary filter. The only times I accept colleague requests without an accompanying message is when it is from somebody I already know - we are already colleagues elsewhere, so being colleagues anywhere else like on BP makes sense. Otherwise, the time wasters can waste their own time sending me a colleague request that won't be accepted by me - but guess what, they didn't really waste that much of their own time, they just clicked a couple of links.

4 Reply

Is there any etiquette left on social media?

Is there any etiquette left on social media?

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