Should I help my girlfriend pay off her debt?

Personal Finance
5yFollow

Should I help my girlfriend pay off her debt?

Benjamin Couch
Vancouver, WA · Member since 2021 · 12 posts · 24 votes

BTW this is my first post!

I am 22 and have been saving up for my first property, I currently have 23k saved in cash and I am saving $2800 a month that I am adding to that total. I want to buy a single family property and live in a trailer on the side of the house while renting the house out. This would be paid for and only in my name, but I would have my girlfriend stay with me.

She has 35k in student loans and is about to incur even more. When we get married and eventually combine finances I am unsure of how to approach her debt pay down. Should I continue investing my savings? Should I dump all my extra cash into the debt? Should I not help at all?

10Reply
327 views

Most Popular Reply

Caroline Gerardo
Lender · Washington DC · Member since 2015 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
5y

If you are my son: no you don't payoff a girlfriend's debt. When you are married, then talk about it. What line of work will she have to pay it off after college?

46Reply
See this reply in the discussion

97 Replies

Jump to latestLatest
  • Jeff Lund
    Contractor · MA (massachusetts) · Member since 2020 · 5 posts · 1 vote
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    Once you’re married buy a property to pay her debt if possible

    0Reply
  • Joshua Adlam
    Property Manager · Tampa, FL · Member since 2021 · 65 posts · 29 votes
    5y
    Originally posted by @Benjamin Couch:

    BTW this is my first post!

    I am 22 and have been saving up for my first property, I currently have 23k saved in cash and I am saving $2800 a month that I am adding to that total. I want to buy a single family property and live in a trailer on the side of the house while renting the house out. This would be paid for and only in my name, but I would have my girlfriend stay with me.

    She has 35k in student loans and is about to incur even more. When we get married and eventually combine finances I am unsure of how to approach her debt pay down. Should I continue investing my savings? Should I dump all my extra cash into the debt? Should I not help at all?

    Ben this a great post! I recommend buying the asset first and letting the cashflow pay for the student loan payment. Depending on your market consider buying a 2-4 unit property and using a FHA loan to get a better cash flow. Always buy the asset first because it will pay for the liability. Best wishes to you and your future wife!

    1Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    5y
    Originally posted by @Matt M.:

    @Benjamin Couch

    She owes $35k now and has 5 more years of school?!

    Omgggg she’s going to owe $200k!

    Never thought of it like that! Damn, hope you're not right....even if she paid off $10k a year it would take 20 years....!

    But I've heard of people getting into HUGE student loan debt, so huge it makes the rest of their lives miserable. What a misguided concept that is....

    1Reply
  • Sarah BlessePro Member
    Property Manager · Fresno, CA · Member since 2017 · 35 posts · 23 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    Do you’re plan and when you’re married, change course to accommodate her. The best example you can be now, is showing her how you handle you’re money.

    0Reply
  • Chad McMahan
    Residential Real Estate Broker · Sedona, AZ · Member since 2017 · 751 posts · 504 votes
    5y

    Hi Benjamin.

    If your question is personal advice on how to handle this with your girlfriend- other advice, here, has been spot on.

    If you are asking professionally, about getting started with investing- With $23k cash there are ways of buying property NOW, given your income sounds strong, as long as your credit is decent. Hitch yourself to a really good seasoned buyer/investor agent in the area you will buy, and ask for a recommendation to a really good local mortgage broker. Talk with the mortgage broker about getting pre-qualified with as little money down, as possible. As how much in seller concessions are okay, with that financing. Once you are pre-qualified, circle back with your realtor and talk about seller concessions and adding that to the offer.

    Benjamin, buddy- you may be able to buy, now. You also may not need to live in a trailer, if you don't want to. You also have the option of living upstairs/downstairs and renting out the other part of the home. This can be a primary residence and get you better financing options. After a year (if the mortgage broker confirms a year is sufficient), do this again with a new primary residence, and on and on.

    Get started- and before you know it, you'll be bank rolled, asset rich, and a nice passive income to help you qualify for jumbo loans for bigger and better cash cows.

    2Reply
  • Matt M.
    Specialist · Easton, PA · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    5y

    @Bruce Woodruff

    I saw something today that went along these lines- 

    An 18 year old can’t get a $10,000 loan to start a business, but can easily get $100,000 student loan. Something is wrong here…   

    My wife is 40, and still owes about $12k, and didn’t even have a lot of loans to begin with. 

    1Reply
  • Benjamin Couch
    OP
    Vancouver, WA · Member since 2021 · 12 posts · 24 votes
    5y

    @Chad McMahan

    This is exactly what I was looking for, thank you!

    0Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    5y
    Originally posted by @Matt M.:

    @Bruce Woodruff

    I saw something today that went along these lines- 

    An 18 year old can’t get a $10,000 loan to start a business, but can easily get $100,000 student loan. Something is wrong here…   

    My wife is 40, and still owes about $12k, and didn’t even have a lot of loans to begin with. 

    I know, it's sick I think. Too much importance placed on that ole 'college degree'.....pounded into people's heads since birth, parental pressure, peer pressure, societal pressure.....

    Imagine in some cases that the student used that money to start a business....not only paying down the debt but making money at the same time. Much smarter in many cases....

    But these kids can't say no to the allure of college, most of the kids I know, including mine, are not using their degree in the field they ended up in. What a waste.

    1Reply
  • Josh Guardado
    Member since 2018 · 5 posts · 1 vote
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch no

    1Reply
  • Matt M.
    Specialist · Easton, PA · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    5y

    @Bruce Woodruff

    Yes sir..  so many people aren’t working in the fields they intended on. And spent a boatload to get there. 
    I was an up and coming chef and once I bought my first house at 24 and ended up fixing it up myself and making $45k on that house in 2 years. Please told me that was my calling.. so I’m now a self employed contractor for 18 years. Zero student loans. Ever. 
    the trades are where it’s at.. 

    3Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    5y
    Originally posted by @Matt M.:

    @Bruce Woodruff

    Yes sir..  so many people aren’t working in the fields they intended on. And spent a boatload to get there. 
    I was an up and coming chef and once I bought my first house at 24 and ended up fixing it up myself and making $45k on that house in 2 years. Please told me that was my calling.. so I’m now a self employed contractor for 18 years. Zero student loans. Ever. 
    the trades are where it’s at.. 

     True that. Electrician journeymen $100k + yr. Handymen even more. Power company linemen $400k Lol laughing all the way to the bank....

    2Reply
  • Carl Murray
    Rental Property Investor · Omaha, NE · Member since 2018 · 30 posts · 14 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    - No. If you really want to pay off her debt then keep saving until you get married (if that’s in the plan) and THEN pay it off.

    - Try a house hack or buy a rental and rent a cheap apartment. Don’t live in a trailer on the property. As much as this makes sense to you, renters will not respect you. Also, you DO NOT want to be that available…

    1Reply
  • Devin Schumacher
    Member since 2019 · 2 posts · 2 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    A friend of mine will not marry his girlfriend until she pays off her own student debt. A bold perspective but I’m sure some divorced people would agree strongly with that. Food for thought.

    2Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    5y
    Originally posted by @Devin Schumacher:

    @Benjamin Couch

    A friend of mine will not marry his girlfriend until she pays off her own student debt. A bold perspective but I’m sure some divorced people would agree strongly with that. Food for thought.

     Smart man!

    0Reply
  • Calvin Thomas
    Developer · New York City, NY · Member since 2015 · 812 posts · 718 votes
    5y

    I will also add, get a pre-nup prior to marriage.  This will prevent her debt to be legally yours.  I know several guys who paid off their gf's and future ex-wives debt, and they filed for divorce after the debt was clear. Think with your mind, not with your heart or something else.

    1Reply
  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes
    5y
    Originally posted by @Carl Murray:

    @Benjamin Couch


    Try a house hack or buy a rental and rent a cheap apartment. Don’t live in a trailer on the property. As much as this makes sense to you, renters will not respect you. Also, you DO NOT want to be that available…

    This makes so much sense! They'll be banging on your trailer door all night long :-)

    0Reply
  • Mike D'ArrigoPro Member
    Turn key provider · San Jose, CA · Member since 2010 · 4k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch I certainly wouldn't as long as you're not married. Once you are married, be aware that her debts become your debts. 

    0Reply
  • Wes Johnson
    Developer · Dallas, TX · Member since 2015 · 84 posts · 79 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    nah man. been married and divorced so yea i don't have the same trust that others in here might. i probably set myself back 7 years by putting that persons goals before mine and wound up left holding the bag anyway

    married or not never, i mean never, do anything remotely close to putting yourself in a compromising financial position behind a relationship. that person can leave at any moment there's absolutely nothing stopping them. Sadly, Marriage isn't the permanent thing it used to be and you have to ensure your sound financial future regardless. build your wealth. her debt is her debt.

    1Reply
  • Tucker Cummings
    Investor · Raleigh, NC · Member since 2019 · 433 posts · 743 votes
    5y

    Marriage is supposed to be an unbreakable life commitment. When you’re just dating, you’re not truly committed to one another so paying down her debts is not your concern. She’ll take care of her debts and you take care of hers.

    Once you’re married, you become one, which includes your finances. At that point, jointly decide if you should pay down her debts or invest. Whichever has the biggest yield and is the smartest decision for the two of you.

    0Reply
  • Marco Martinetti
    Member since 2021 · 19 posts · 8 votes
    5y

    No, investing your money into properties that will generate income for you will pay off much more in the long run. Most school loans are low interest and if she is continuing school, then also  deferred until graduation. I was in a long term relationship(5yrs) in my early twenties that did not end in marriage as I expected. Wait until you are married and then form a plan for pay off. 

    0Reply
  • Allen Williams
    Realtor · Jacksonville, FL · Member since 2019 · 95 posts · 87 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    Until she is your wife, absolutely not. Plus the money can go towards an appreciating asset to help to pay off her debt if you really wanted to go that route which would be much more favorable to you. But I still wouldn’t even do that. You never know what the future holds or what will happen. Do NOT PAY, that’s the debt she took on and not you!!

    0Reply
  • Santiago Valdez
    Real Estate Agent · Orlando, FL · Member since 2021 · 1 post · 0 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch In my personal opinion if the monthly payment and interest are reasonable. Buying an asset that could potentially take care of the debt payment would be helping! Now If there's a large percentage of interest on the debt paying down would help lighten the burden. Question though with the property be in your name only or both of you?

    0Reply
  • Derek King
    Real Estate Broker · Raleigh, NC · Member since 2021 · 2 posts · 0 votes
    5y

    @Derrick Smith

    👆🏻

    I agree with him!

    0Reply
  • Justin Sullivan
    Real Estate Agent · Phoenix, AZ · Member since 2019 · 158 posts · 140 votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch

    Listen man you gotta decide what type of financial relationship you and your (when wife) will have. Some couples share everything, some share nothing and some split bills. I grew up poor with parents who didn’t work together n fought over money! Not the best option in my opinion. Whatever you guys decide I suggest you decide on it together.

    My wife and I share. At one point in time I paid everything so she could progress as an agent then we switched. I hit a rough patch in my business n she covered everything. She still has her money I still have mine but we also have joint funds together n accounts to match all of this.

    Is she with you working towards investment or is it just you? Honestly if it were me I would get the lowest interest rate possible snd pay off debt with passive income. Or replace your personal villa with passive income and pay off debt with earned income. Once again you guys gotta decide are you working together(once married) or working alone.

    Good luck but it seems like you have some time to work all this out.

    0Reply
  • Wale LawalBusiness Member
    Real Estate Broker · Houston | Dallas | Austin, TX · Member since 2018 · 5k+ posts · 2k+ votes
    5y

    @Benjamin Couch I see. Well, you have a good amount of money saved up. Please, keep in mind other expenses like inspection and earnest money that come with closing a home. Wishing you the best, and let me know if you have any questions.

    [email protected]832-776-9582Podcast Guest on Show #469
    NETWORTH BUILDERS5236 Reviews
    WebsiteView Page
    0Reply
Join the conversationCreate a free account to reply, vote on answers and follow this thread.
Log InJoin for Free