Another interesting post from an existing tenant. Oy, vey!

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Bill SchrimpfBusiness Member

Real Estate Agent · Reno, NV · Member since 2014 · 349 posts · 189 votes

3y

Quote from @Nathan Gesner:

Quote from @Wesley W.:

@Nathan Gesner okay, so now that you've piqued our collective interest, please DO SHARE your response and the subsequent dialogue!

*grabs popcorn*

My employee is handling it. She notified him that an unauthorized occupant is a lease violation. He needs to remove the "guest" immediately or face termination of his lease.

And we won't allow him to move to the nicer unit.

That seems like the exact perfect thing to do. It's boring, ethical and professional.

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Nathan GesnerBusiness Member

Moderator

OP

Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes

3y

Quote from @Bill Schrimpf:

That seems like the exact perfect thing to do. It's boring, ethical and professional.

Where's the LOL button?!? I'm sure Wesley was hoping for a big show, but I don't have fireworks very often.

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Scott E.

Contractor · Scottsdale, AZ · Member since 2010 · 2k+ posts · 3k+ votes

3y

Wow... Thanks for sharing. Could get ugly from here but hoping this interaction ends peacefully for you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=790tfDbpZVc

Paul De Luca

Real Estate Agent · Chicago, IL · Member since 2018 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

3y

Quote from @Nathan Gesner:

Just received this email from a tenant:

Hi, I am writing to let you know that a friend of mine has been staying with me. He was living with his Mother and she was growing tired so he came to live with me. He broke his arm a couple of months ago and is unemployed, but I don't have the resources for two people anymore and I need some relief now. He has coerced me into buying over $250 worth of Vodka for him over the months and I want him to be evicted (I apologize for not telling you about him). I know it's a mess but I just want peace and quiet, and maybe a cat too, as the other 2 never worked out either... God have mercy haha Anyways please help me with this and also I want to move next door if I am not bound by my lease to this apartment, as the Kitchen and Bathroom are much better for my needs. Thanks!

These guys should be comedians.

Translation: "I knowingly violated the lease and now I need you to save me from my own bad decisions. Turns out my friend isn't such a good guy. And do written contracts really matter? I was hoping to just leave and let you handle my mess. Thanks!"

4 Reply

Linda S.

Investor · Richmond, VA · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes

3y

@Nathan Gesner,

I really wish there were a book of just funny letters to landlords. I specifically appreciate the tenant acknowledging that they were "Coerced into buying $250 vodka" like that is any part of your problem.

The follow up I am waiting to hear is "Here is my document showing my cat is a Certified Emotional Support Animal" (that they just spent $25) . Also, it's HIGHLY likely that magically this will be the time of a tragic accident/funeral, and either they or their family member (likely a child for specific heart strings) are in the hospital and can't pay the rent. At that point, they will bring up the fact that it's the holidays, and you are a horrible person for considering evicting them.

3 Reply

Scott Mac

Austin, TX · Member since 2019 · 5k+ posts · 5k+ votes

3y

I wouldn't eject this guy.

If it were mine, I'd offer him the "Better" apartment at (for instance) a $50 a month upcharge, if you want no cats, make that part of the counter offer.

Overnight guest that got out of hand, seems like a drama situation, in other word none of my business, as long as the renter can eject him I would not take any action (for a couple of weeks)--no harm being done.

So why keep him--why not--he creates a turn either way, and long term...the "friend" will not be there...Secret cats..(again) but he is probably a forever renter (and seems like a piece of cake to manage) vs. hard to deal with issues, such as having a Harley Davidson chopper sitting out in the driveway at 5 am blop blop blop idling loudly every morning, or acting in a threatening manner to other renters, or Dope, or Wife Beating with PD at the door all the time.

'

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JD MartinBusiness Member

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Rock Star Extraordinaire · Northeast, TN · Member since 2015 · 10k+ posts · 16k+ votes

3y

Too funny! I love the part how the other 2 cats didn't work out so he's trying for a third. Hahahaha!

Something occurred to me today - I have spent virtually my entire working life in fields that you're going to hear all kinds of sob stories, and that if you don't have a backbone you're going to be a door mat in a hurry: public utilities, college professor, real estate rental property owner/manager. The only thing different is the product, but the stories are all the same:

"I couldn't pay my water bill because a tree crushed my car and I couldn't get to work so I got fired and I had money saved up but my neighbor Tiny Tim needed new crutches"

"I couldn't turn my assignment in on time because my mother, my aunt, and my best friend's boyfriend all died in the same week and I left my computer in one of the funeral homes"

"I can't pay the rent until next week because I won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes but I had to send them the money I was going to use for rent as a deposit to hold my winnings"
🤣🤣

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Jacqueline Ray Soliz

Property Manager · Dallas · Member since 2021 · 19 posts · 10 votes

3y

Gotta Love it!

Adam Martin

Rental Property Investor · Member since 2020 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

3y

Who would have thought that someone who's own mother doesn't want to live with them anymore wouldn't be the best roommate. I assume this guy just has no backbone and is hoping you will issue a cure or quit notice he can send so he isn't the bad guy and can get rid of his situation. I'd just give him the letter but let him know that this is a real letter and he needs to resolve this. As to asking if it is ok to break the current lease to opt for a better apartment, I don't really see the big deal with this, he is still renting from you. While they say it never hurts to ask, this may not have been the right time. That said I wouldn't do it unless it makes financial sense but tenants that don't follow my rules don't get special treatment if I even decide I'm keeping them.

Jason Smith

Member since 2021 · 109 posts · 130 votes

3y

One I got recently, imagine 2 idiots married to each other...

Her: Sorry for the late message but I think the front door is now gone. I can't open the door and I'm locked in the house. [Name redacted] is trying to open the door to get inside and he can't open it

Me: Try the back door

The screw on lock on the front door got loose and was binding up

Wesley W.

Rental Property Investor · The Vampire State · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes

3y

Quote from @Nathan Gesner:

Sadly, I knew there would be no dramatics because a professional housing provider just puts the smack-down on any meandering sob stories, and I knew you would not stand for that, Nathan - but a part of me was hoping there would be additional outlandish emails from them to share.

I really miss that "tenants/applicants say the dumbest things" thread.

Theresa HarrisPro Member

Member since 2019 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes

3y

Where do you even begin? Dear Clueless Tenant, I will happily evict you and the loser and no you may not move into any of my other units ever. I do have some ocean front property to sell you in Wyoming.

Nathan GesnerBusiness Member

Moderator

OP

Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes

3y

Quote from @Jason Smith:

One I got recently, imagine 2 idiots married to each other...

Her: Sorry for the late message but I think the front door is now gone. I can't open the door and I'm locked in the house. [Name redacted] is trying to open the door to get inside and he can't open it

Me: Try the back door

The screw on lock on the front door got loose and was binding up

"I want to put the top down on my convertible, but I locked the keys in the car!"

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Nathan GesnerBusiness Member

Moderator

OP

Real Estate Broker · Cody, WY · Member since 2010 · 28k+ posts · 41k+ votes

3y

The saga continues!

My employee told him he needs to get rid of the guy himself or he could be in violation of his lease and subject to termination. Keep in mind this started with him asking us to evict the unauthorized renter!

Comment: Hi there, I am wondering why so quick to move an eviction notice against me? Isn't there some way to announce a new tennant and pay a little extra as their fee or something and then be able to split the difference once he starts working? You do realize he has a God Damn broken arm right? Anyways have a little heart and hear me out because I have done a lot of good work around here and I am just trying to enjoy my retirement without someone trying to make me live on the God Damn streets... AGAIN... Thanks for hearing me out, and just know that I'm not being evicted, let's grow up here. Never missed a payment and always been responsible, so quit it... God's Love, Tenant

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Wesley W.

Rental Property Investor · The Vampire State · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes

3y

Quote from @Nathan Gesner:

The saga continues!

I somehow knew this guy would not disappoint. This is the beginning of a long, meandering series of email sob stories that Nathan's staff must diplomatically endure. This society has churned out a lot of adult children recently. And he told YOU to grow up! Heh. The irony. And I love the part where he tells you to "just know (he) is not going to be evicted." Did this guy just move from NY? Someone should tell him he is in the U.S. now, where signed contracts (usually) matter.

Bruce WoodruffPro Member

Contractor/Investor/Consultant · San Diego / Phoenix · Member since 2021 · 12k+ posts · 15k+ votes

3y

So sorry Nathan. This guy has zero clue.....heading for the streets again it would seem....