Investor · Maui, HI · Member since 2009 · 13k+ posts · 3k+ votes
13y
I have a tenant that continually complains of being cold, and I need to do a better job of sealing her doors (which they are sealed fine.) I go over there- and her heat is off. "Well, I don't wan to pay for all that electricity! I just run it once in a while."
Last year I received a call from a man renting what used to be my personal home, explaining to me that he didn't have the money for rent, wouldn't anytime soon because of a job loss, and asked me if we could barter rent, for sex with his wife. While she was a very attractive woman, I politely declined and drove to the courthouse as fast as I could to file for an eviction.
Can you imagine how that conversation went in their household?
Man: Honey, we don't have enough money to pay the rent this month. You know what you gotta do.
Real Estate Investor · San Marcos, CA · Member since 2014 · 14 posts · 41 votes
11y
Middle of the night call from tenant- Tenant: "The people upstairs are fighting! You have to come out and make them stop! It's really bad! They are yelling and throwing things! You better hurry!"
Landlord (my husband): "Why are you calling me? Call the police!"
Tenant: "I'm not calling the police! You need to come out here and take care of it!"
Landlord (my husband): "Fine, I'll call the police."
Tenant: "Don't call the police, they'll find my pot plants!"
I gave a prior tenant a move-in checklist. She returned it to me with a few things listed. One was that she found "a couple half-dead, half-alive bees".
I wasn't quite sure how to take care of zombie bees.
Once when I went over there she had mouse traps laying out in the kitchen (2 of them). I was a little freaked out, because there has never been any mice in any of my properties. So I asked her if she had seen mice or had any issues with mice. She said no, that she had them out "just in case". Maybe she was afraid of zombie mice?
I'm in the area. So I check windows, door seals (one sucks, so I reconfigure it a bit) and the furnace pilot light. Everything looks good after a bit of fiddling.
Me: Everything looks good. Let me know if it is still cold.
2 days go by...
T: Our place is FREEZING. We have the heat up to 80, nothing.
God damn $@%@#!%#@ furnace, stupid @#%@#$#@ thing is only 6 years old. What @$@#%#-ity (bleep)!!
Me: Can you go down to the cellar and check the pilot light?
T: Sure.
T calls back: Ummm... The light in the cellar doesn't work, but my heat is back on.
Me: Good. Let me know if you have any more problems. The switch you turned on is your emergency shut off for your heat, the light switch for the cellar is in behind the fridge in the first floor apartment.
Investor · Vancouver, WA · Member since 2013 · 3k+ posts · 4k+ votes
11y
One of our tenants in our 8-plex was convinced that a power transfer station about 5 blocks away was sending electrical surges that were making his light bulbs burn out. We asked him why he thought that and he said because his light bulbs keep burning out too soon. We check with the tenants in the neighboring units, no problems there.
So we replace some of his light bulbs and the tenant calls about 6 months later and tells us it is happening again. After the third time, we tell him we want to do a pilot study of life bulb longevity and energy savings. If he would like to be our tester, we will replace all the lightbulbs in his apartment with energy saving CFLs. And we ask him if he wouldn't mind reporting to us in 12 months on the amount of savings he experiences from switching from incandescent bulbs to CFLs. He is thrilled and takes his "job" of lightbulb testing very seriously. No more talk of electrical surges from the power transfer station, no more calls of lightbulbs burning out too soon. Problem solved. BTW, we get CFLs free from our local power company in exchange for spent ones, so it was an easy fix.
St Thomas, Ontario · Member since 2013 · 575 posts · 408 votes
11y
I had one tenant complain that he could never get hot water in his washing machine and that it made a strange clicking sound. I had a repair man out ($50) and his answer was the tenant had turned off the hot water. Then the tenant kept repeatedly complaining about the problem and instead of calling a repair man I went, and each time found he had turned off the hot water again. The tenant was a curmudgeon and wanted us to shell out $50 a visit for as long as he kept playing his game.
Accountant · cedar rapids, IA · Member since 2013 · 99 posts · 46 votes
11y
I had a tenant complain and actually write me a letter stating that there "wasn't enough room by the door to her apartment to place her shoes". So...I'm I suppose to knock a wall down to increase the space for her shoes??
Investor · Edmond, OK · Member since 2011 · 166 posts · 31 votes
11y
Last month I sent out invoices for the first time to see if it helped my rent collection.
Tenant calls me 6 times in 30 minutes, and leaves a voicemail to call back because it's urgent.
"Hey, I got your message. Is everything all right?"
Tenant: "Yeah, what's this invoice thingy?
Me: "Well it's just something to remind all of our tenants that the rent for the new month is coming up.
Tenant: "It's wrong."
Me: "How so?"
Tenant: "It says I owe $861. My rent is $700.
Me: "Correct, but your portion of the rent is $161, and housing assistance pays the rest."
Tenant: "Yeah."
Me: "Well, you haven't paid your $161 for September. So, on the first you will owe $861."
Tenant: "That don't make sense."
Me: "Well, to make it easier, think of it this way. After the 3rd, housing assistance will have paid its portion of the rent for you. So, you will owe $322."
Tenant: "But, I don't have to pay $700."
Me: "Well technically you do, it's just that HUD pays a portion for you. If for some reason HUD called tomorrow to tell you that you were removed from the program, you would still have to pay the full amount.
Tenant: "But, I don't pay that portion."
Me: "I know, you will owe me $322 by the third."
Tenant: "I'm confused."
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't know how I can explain it any better. Just trust me. After the 3rd you will only owe $322, which I will need by the following Friday."
Tenant: "Well, all right then."
My friend who had heard the whole conversation right next to me just turned and said, "I can't math." Cracked me up for a bit.
St Thomas, Ontario · Member since 2013 · 575 posts · 408 votes
11y
Fall special: I had a tenant complain that leaves had not been removed from the front of his condo, but that other units had been cleared. Driving through the development revealed that the reason for this was that the trees in front of other units had shed all their leaves and the landscaping crews had been able to collect them all. The tree in front of our unit had half its leaves off, half on. The crews had not been able to catch up with it as it was actively shedding. While its great the tenant had such high standards in yard care, it is unfortunate that in the very same email he told me the rent would be three days late.
Investor · Torrance, CA · Member since 2014 · 75 posts · 13 votes
11y
A former tenant of mine asked me if I could tear up the tile in the house and put down new carpet. I laughed when she requested this and then politely told her that I could not do that. Found out that she wanted me to remodel the place because she was going to let her brother move in and allow him to use her section 8. she had no intentions of even living there anymore because she met a new man and was living with him but didn't want to give up her section 8. LOL
Investor · SE, MI · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 461 votes
11y
I love this thread- we all need a chuckle!
I've got a tenant that was told we will not be renewing his lease, which expires in 2 months. She just left me a voice mail explaining she had a "great idea to run by me"- it went a little like this-
"So, since I am looking for my next housing opportunity, and I just lost my job I am a little short on funds, so I had this great idea to run by you- how about I move out early, and you send me my security deposit and refund this month's rent- prorated of course! to help me find my next place. I know there are things I need to fix before I move out, like the toilet seat and the blinds, but I can't pay for those right now so I will pay you back some time after I am settled in my new place! Let me know what you think!"
Rental Property Investor · Baltimore County Maryland and Tampa Florida · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
11y
I have pretty good tenants now, but prior...lol
Had a guy who wasn't paying rent (and had people living with him, but they were "guests" he adamantly claimed).
My husband and I went to the property to talk in person about the missing rent since his phone was off. We'd already filed rent court papers, which the tenant grabbed his copy off the table, marched over to us in the doorway, waving the papers around with one hand, pointing at it with the other hand, saying, "This is fraud! You can't do this! This is fraud and I'll see you in court!"
We replied, "Yes, yes you will since we're the ones who invited you to court." I needed a good drink after that encounter.
On eviction day, the Sheriff came with me and my move-out crew. The tenant tried everything he could to delay the eviction from trying to make the Sheriff feel sorry for him, to accusing one of my move-out guys of being a criminal, to offering to pay me "extra" if I took him down to the SS office to get his money. When I declined the offer, he was dumbfounded; "You don't want your money?" "Not as much as I want you out." :-)
Rental Property Investor · Baltimore County Maryland and Tampa Florida · Member since 2013 · 2k+ posts · 2k+ votes
11y
Oh! I forgot to add how my tenant's guests once proudly said that since I accepted money from her (she had given it to my tenant apparently, who gave it to me), I couldn't evict her. So when the Sheriff would come, he'd only evict the tenant and let her stay...and then she'd allow him right back in. She had it all figured out, or so she thought. She learned a lesson in reality when the Sheriff kicked every living soul out of that place.
Investor · Avilla, IN · Member since 2013 · 796 posts · 769 votes
11y
This tenant has been renting from me for about 2 years now. Always.....ALWAYS....a grand behind. I get that I suck....It actually makes sense for me to let them stay behind (long story) and they catch up a couple of times a year. However....I had no response when he stated his college loans were caught up. None.
I don't have a college degree and I pay my bills. They have 2 and cant......
Rental Property Investor · Upstate, NY · Member since 2012 · 3k+ posts · 3k+ votes
11y
More in the "do the dumbest things" category....
We get a frantic 11:30 pm call from an elderly tenant crying incoherently but after several minutes my wife determined it was because water was 'pouring' in the bedroom window.
My wife distinctly asked her several times if our maintenance guy was called & if he was there as he was not answering his cell. More incoherent crying & hyperventilating.
So I dress & head over to discover she had our maintenance guy on the lower roof trying to remove the melting snow & ice.
The ambient thaw had started & the elderly lady decided to open the window several hours earlier.....she doesn't pay for heat..YET!!!
The window subsequently froze open & the melt from the lower roof ice ridge ran into the open window, down the wall & onto the floor. We haven't seen or heard from her since my very annoyed maintenance guy explained to her why it happened.
We have a tenant that was slow to pay every month requiring a phone call reminder from us. They also made several complaints and invalid threats to us threatening lawyers on us. They were noisy and allowed their small children to run around loudly at all hours of the night (dad worked and odd shift so the kids were up at night a lot)... they were in an upstairs unit of a duplex.
Upon talking to them about being timely with their rent as their rent payments helped to pay the mortgage... No mortgage paid= they lose their home. Wife spoke up and said, "It's not our fault you have a mortgage!"
Maybe not... but you agreed to the payment and it's your responsibility to pay it so that we can take care of our responsibility.
So I guess if you did not have a mortgage then they would expect the rent for free?
Rental Property Investor · Durham, NC · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes
11y
In the 90s after my grandfather died, I took over the management of his rental property that my grandmother inherited. When I went to collect the rent for the first time from a long-time tenant (she had lived there at least 15-20 years and raised her children in the house,) she said she had a business proposition to discuss with me. She'd heard about this new thing called "rent to own" and wanted to know if she could do it with the house she was renting from us. I said that I wasn't sure about my grandmother's intentions, but anything was possible for the right price.
The tenant was ecstatic. She repeatedly said how much she'd always dreamed of being a homeowner. I asked what her plan was. She said she'd spend some time figuring out her offer, write it on paper, and present it to me when I picked up the rent the following month.
The next month, she gave me a sheet of paper with very neat writing. It stated that she'd been there X years, paying $X per month. There were two options from which she expected me to choose. The first was that she could give me no money down, keep paying her rent in the same amount as always, and we'd sign the house over to her in a few years. The second was that maybe she'd already paid for the house by paying the rent for so many years, and maybe we even owed her a little refund back for overpayment. She was completely serious about it all, and honestly didn't understand why neither option was realistic.
Real Estate Investor · StL, MO · Member since 2008 · 294 posts · 152 votes
11y
Last August in the midst of 105* heat wave a tenant called me concerned that his furnace didn't work.
Me: "Do you mean your air conditioner isn't working?"
T: "No. The AC is fine. I don't think the furnace is working."
Me: "Last winter was the coldest winter in like 25 years. You never called with any problems then. Why wouldn't it work this year?"
T: "I can't stand cold. I want to make sure it works."
Me: "Ok. I will send somebody out to check out the furnace before it gets cold." Thinking I will do this late Sept or Oct.
2 days later
T: "When are they going to fix our furnace?"
Me: "Before it gets cold. Fall"
T: "What!? I need to make sure it will be warm. I hate the cold!"
Me: "You do realize it's over 100* today right?"
T: "Yea. But I don't want to be cold. Can you get somebody over here today?"
Me: "No."
Unfortunately this went on for like 6 phone calls complaining about a furnace in 90*+ heat. I finally sent over an HVAC guy to make sure things were ok. HVAC guy calls me, "The AC is working fine and everything checks out but the tenant is wanting me to check the furnace? What's up with that?"
Me: "Yes I know. He has been calling for weeks about the furnace not working. He is a special kind of dumb."
Finally the HVAC explained to the tenant that the furnace won't kick on if you have the thermostat set on 65* for AC and switch it from cool to heat. If you want the furnace to kick on, you will have to set the thermostat to 80* for the furnace to kick on.
T: "Wait! Why would you do that?! I don't want it that hot in here!"
At least I got a discount on the service call as the HVAC guy had a pretty good laugh.
Property Manager · Big Bear Lake, CA · Member since 2013 · 585 posts · 330 votes
11y
This is for a vacation rental I manage:
Weekend renters called me right after Friday check-in and complained that there were only 2 bathrooms. I explained to them that the ad clearly states "2 bathrooms".
They wanted me to "fix the problem" or give them some money back. I refused.
I think they actually thought I was going to build them a bathroom that night. Sheesh.
I could go on for weeks with all the ridiculous things vacation home renters say.
Just yesterday, tenant calls, frantic that the heat doesn't work, they had to leave in the middle of the night, woe, horror and bloodshed, etc.
Send out HVAC guy. He calls to tell me it's a supply issue. My heart skips a beat as I imagine the bills of digging a new gas supply line out to the street. He then explains that she hadn't paid her gas bill and when he called to have it turned on to test, it worked perfectly fine.
Rental Property Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2013 · 6k+ posts · 4k+ votes
11y
Inherited tenant called last month to say she was going to move out at the end of June. Okay, no problem. Then June comes along and we get no rent from her. We send a 5-day notice and she ignores it as well as my texts asking where the rent is. So an eviction is filed. She texts me that we have no right to file an eviction on her -- "I gave you a 30-day notice which means I don't have to pay my June rent FACT!"
Inherited tenant called last month to say she was going to move out at the end of June. Okay, no problem. Then June comes along and we get no rent from her. We send a 5-day notice and she ignores it as well as my texts asking where the rent is. So an eviction is filed. She texts me that we have no right to file an eviction on her -- "I gave you a 30-day notice which means I don't have to pay my June rent FACT!"