1.  There are bats in the basement.

2.  There are snakes under the hot tub.

3.  There is a snake in the TV cabinet.

4.  My daughter left behind her Fuggler.

5.  We found a ***** (unmentionable) in the bathroom cabinet. It's not ours, but we left it. 

(Hmmm.  Housekeepers left it from the previous guests?) 

6.  The pool table collapsed on my husband (that's what happens when you try to move a slate pool table across the room and aren't trained to do so).

7.  My daughter has been fishing in the creek for two days and never caught any fish. Can we get a discount?

8.  The road is too steep and isn't paved all the way.  (rented a cabin on top of a mountain)

9.  We think a chipmunk crawled into our tail pipe.

10. There are too many birds chirping here.