Need help w/ my "I Buy Castles" Plan

Innovative Strategies
14yFollow

Need help w/ my "I Buy Castles" Plan

Will BarnardPro Member
Moderator
Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes

I am in need of some help from my fellow BP members.
I am structuring my marketing materials for my new strategy of buying Castles to rehab flip as well as wholesale.

Should I state in my marketing materials that I buy castles only with draw bridges or should I keep my options open to buying all different types of castles, including those with King and Queen occupants?

Please help Chris Weiler / James Vermillion / Jake Kucheck / Jon K. / J Scott /

^
\------- Grabbing my popcorn bag from micro . . . .

Podcast Guest on Show #130
4Reply
88 views

Most Popular Reply

James Vermillion
Lexington, KY · Member since 2009 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
14y

No offense gents but I know you are new to the castle acquisition process, but not to worry, my course will be out shortly: "Being King: How to Own More Castles Than The British Royal Family". The key to making smart castle investments is knowing your rehab costs Will...I mean I can walk through a castle and estimate the cost of flaming arrow removal, 1600s exterior wall repair, and moat excavation down to the 1/8 ounce of diamond...can you? If not, you are not ready for the royal mistake (pun intended) that you are about to make. But that can change, because for just $26,199 I will mentor you through the whole process and only ask that you pay me 40% percent of your future profits...what a deal! And if I think you a good enough I may let you join my company's board aka the roundtable! So what ate you waiting for? Get out there, strap on you armour, get on your horse and ride with me to prosperity! We can even host weddings at these places...booyah!

As far as tenants go be very careful...eviction costs can very expensive and Old English Law can be very complex.

8Reply
See this reply in the discussion

57 Replies

Jump to latestLatest
  • Brian LevredgePro Member
    Investor · Chattanooga, TN · Member since 2009 · 1k+ posts · 903 votes
    14y

    We provide transactional funding on castles. Medieval rates apply after the first lunar cycle. Lord to Duke, King to Queen, or any combination thereof for transfers is acceptable. Please, no serfs or peasants. Title can only be conveyed via a castle holding trust.

    2Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    Brian, if my castle has an income stream of $200k per month from the jousting tournament revenues, will you offer 100% acquisition + rehab funding so long as the LTCV (loan to castle value) does not exceed 70%? If so, please send your castle loan docs to my email ASAP.

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    2Reply
  • Brian LevredgePro Member
    Investor · Chattanooga, TN · Member since 2009 · 1k+ posts · 903 votes
    14y

    Will, Absolutely! Our focus is on ARCV (after castle repair value), so your parameters fit. While jousting income helps, we like to see three years worth of Renaissance Fair Returns as well. Without those, your end buyer will need to have a FCA (Fair Castle Administration) insured loan.

    4Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Central Valley, CA · Member since 2012 · 6k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    14y

    Taken from a marketing letter I saw somewhere:

    "You can sell your Castle to me totally as-is. You would not need to make any repairs or pay for repairs. Fire Breathing Dragon damage? Moat drainage and mold issues? Torture Chamber Code Compliance threats? No problem!"

    2Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    This is just too fun!!! I am suppose to be working . . . .

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Central Valley, CA · Member since 2012 · 6k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    14y

    The hard money and guru mentorship angles have been priceless.

    Wish I hadn't read through the original thread from last year. That was depressing.

    Thanks for starting a thread that's actually useful! 4:30 Friday afternoon distraction much appreciated. However, my regular old boring marketing letters need to get to the post office before 5. Cheers!

    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Central Valley, CA · Member since 2012 · 6k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    14y

    "Dear Lord XXX:

    My name is Lady Goose.
    My husband Lord Gander and I would like to
    $Buy$
    your Castle
    at the Top of the Hill.

    Please send us word of your interest.
    Our messenger awaits!"

    yellowparchmentletter.com

    1Reply
  • James Hiddle
    Altus, OK · Member since 2008 · 2k+ posts · 690 votes
    14y

    I can see a new organization forming called COA-Castle Owners Association.

    They'll fine you if your moat isn't up to code but the perks of a COA membership include:

    Moat draining
    Dragon slaying
    Troll pest control
    Drawbridge maintenance

    0Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    "Where are the tapestries?" This is a castle? You do have tapestries?"
    Indiana Jones

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    Need that castle quickly, my Kings are kicking some butt in the NHL Stanleyy Cup vs. the Devils and will need a celebration location, preferably a castle.
    Makes sense, Kings slay Devils!

    Go KINGS Go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • Joshua D.Pro Member
    BiggerPockets Founder · HI · Member since 2008 · 16k+ posts · 5k+ votes
    14y

    Will Barnard - I think I found the perfect castle for you:
    A castle made of car parts and other junkyard finds (thanks CNN)

    Podcast Guest on Show #100
    0Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    Nice find Josh, not quite what I was looking for and I doubt my Kings would be comfortable there.

    May be a great flip opportunity though! Any flippers in Whashington interested? If you buy it, make sure to send the bird dog fee to Josh at BiggerPockets!

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • Don KonipolBusiness Member
    Investor · The Woodlands TX / Avon, CT · Member since 2009 · 6k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    I'm not interested until a guru can show me how to wholesale castles "virtually"!

    Private Mortgage Financing Partners, LLC
    WebsiteView Page
    1Reply
  • Account Closed
    Landlord · Seattle, WA · Member since 2010 · 3k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    14y

    Don, I have just the tool for you.

    No work no fuss. It works 48/7 to find deals for you. As you sit at your throne or sleep comfortably on your bed of nails rest assured money will be flowing to your accounts.

    Our system analyzes all on and off market listings. It will locate any castle the instant that the owner wants to sell. We know you are busy so we hide the details in our black box.

    I know it is not enough that it finds every deal, it will also prepare detailed repair lists down to restocking trolls and insuring there are enough thumb screws. We go out of our way to make sure the maidens are fully distressed as well.

    The program then pulls comparable castles from around the world. We don't limit our comparables because we want to insure that you have the greatest possible return on your investment.

    Our software is quite reasonable. Call and we will have the caravan over to pick up the loot.

    0Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    Does anybody have a good castle eviction attorney? I have two knights and one fair lady who refuse to pay their rent and I need to evict and have them tossed into the moat. Please help!

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • Michael Pilarski
    Investor · Murfreesboro, TN · Member since 2011 · 113 posts · 16 votes
    14y

    I believe you're looking for an Esquire not an attorney. Contact the Sheriff of Nottingham he may know of one. He may also be able to service the parchment required to have them tossed in the moat or put in the Iron Maiden.

    1Reply
  • Shane Woods
    Real Estate Agent · Weatherford, TX · Member since 2011 · 726 posts · 284 votes
    14y

    This has been greatly entertaining. Too bad we never heard back on the appraisal. :-( nothing like guru humor. It even beats all the (not quite) personal attacks :-)

    -more popcorn please-

    0Reply
  • Shane Woods
    Real Estate Agent · Weatherford, TX · Member since 2011 · 726 posts · 284 votes
    14y

    @will barnard...what brought this to mind today?

    0Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y

    Just a bit of humor to break up the work day Shane.

    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • James H.
    Investor · Fort Worth, TX · Member since 2011 · 1k+ posts · 450 votes
    14y

    Is the fair lady a damsel in distress? If so, she might be sympathetic to the jury, errr, rabble.

    0Reply
  • Account Closed
    Investor · Central Valley, CA · Member since 2012 · 6k+ posts · 3k+ votes
    14y

    Will Barnard Sounds like your tenants are having a royal 3-way and are too preoccupied to pay the rent. Who signed the original lease?

    1Reply
  • James Vermillion
    Lexington, KY · Member since 2009 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    14y

    I first the first part of your post wrong Will Barnard...I was wondering what could be the problem with having 2 nights with a fair lady!

    1Reply
  • Account Closed
    Landlord · Seattle, WA · Member since 2010 · 3k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    14y

    Seems to me that it is time to stock the moat with crocks and find some trolls to put under the draw bridge. Any Knights that want to spend even one night with my fair lady will be getting an immediate eviction.

    0Reply
  • Will BarnardPro Member
    Moderator
    OP
    Developer · Santa Clarita, CA · Member since 2008 · 15k+ posts · 10k+ votes
    14y
    Originally posted by James Vermillion:
    I first the first part of your post wrong Will Barnard...I was wondering what could be the problem with having 2 nights with a fair lady!
    In deed! Nothing wrong with that.
    Podcast Guest on Show #130
    0Reply
  • Nathan Emmert
    Investor · San Ramon, CA · Member since 2011 · 1k+ posts · 569 votes
    14y

    I've found your problem, you forgot to buy a property with a dragon... dragon's do a great job of keep damsels in line...

    1Reply
Join the conversationCreate a free account to reply, vote on answers and follow this thread.
Log InJoin for Free