How do you handle the stress?

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How do you handle the stress?

Larry Turowski
Flipper/Rehabber · Rochester, NY · Member since 2014 · 1k+ posts · 1k+ votes

The latest one for me is my rehab contractor disappearing for 5 days.  He finally returned my calls today and said a family member out of state had tree fall on their roof.  He went to help fix it.

But I find I stress out about all sorts of things--evictions, tenant repair issues, going over budget, borrowing money, and on and on.

What stresses you and how do you deal with it?  Fortunately, for me, my wife wants to hear about it and talks some sense into me.

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Joel OwensBusiness Member
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Real Estate Broker · Canton, GA · Member since 2010 · 15k+ posts · 11k+ votes
11y

What people need to know about STRESS is to set realistic expectations.

There is no such thing as no stress. You heard it here folks.

If you do not have money you worry about getting it. If you have lots of it you worry about the government taxing you and taking it all for redistribution " robin hood theory ".

If you have the money and the tax situation taken care of you worry about friends, family, your own mortality etc. Many people that have no money believe once they get it all the stress in their lives will go away and they will no longer have problems. It's just simply not true. Having money can help you to do more things in your life that you want which helps to make you happier. I have seen money destroy people also that cannot handle money well as it changes them in a bad way.

The point I am making is stress never goes away just mutates into something else based on where you are in your lifespan and success level.

NOW you can choose to deal with that stress in a positive way or a destructive way. That is something you have a choice over in your life.

A positive way is exercising, having healthy hobbies etc.

Destructive is addictive type problems like over eating, drinking, smoking, social disorders, doing drugs, compulsive gambling, infidelity etc. Taking pills in this country is a huge problem as people are masking the pain and not getting to the root of the issue because they do not want to face it.

A good rule of thumb I follow is 2 principals.

1.Pick you battles with your spouse or sig. other. If it's a small issue you are not that passionate about and you will not remember it 1 day or 1 week from now let it go. It might be more important to them and you giving in might help in the future when you have an important issue you want to stand your ground on. Pick a time and a place to talk about issues with money, life, etc. Then after the time is up drop it and save for the next time. If you constantly talk about problems you will have a problem relationship.

2. Think of HALT ( Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired). If you are feeling one or more of these then it is NOT the right time to be discussing and working through issues. All that will happen is a blow up with noise and nothing will be accomplished. It could actually make things worse as things are said that are hard to take back. I think about this when my wife wants to talk about things. If my business is busy or I am covered up etc. I will say let's discuss it later when we can dedicate the proper time to come up with a solution.

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  • Rayna Sivkova
    Real Estate Investor · Mount Prospect, IL · Member since 2014 · 5 posts · 3 votes
    11y

    Do not take life's experiences too seriously. Above all, do not let them hurt you, for in reality they are nothing but dream experiences.... If circumstances are bad and you have to bear them, do not make them a part of yourself. Play your part in life, but never forget it is only a role. What you lose in the world will not be a loss to your soul. Trust in God and destroy fear, which paralyzes all efforts to succeed and attracts the very thing you fear.

    - Sri Sri Paramahansa Yogananda
    in a "Para-gram"

    1Reply
  • Mary B.
    Real Estate Investor · Lansdowne, PA · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 656 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @John Thedford:
    Originally posted by @Mary B.:

    Great stress relievers no matter what industry / industries of business you partake in: Sex, shooting at the range, dancing, exercise, laughter (and drinking) with love ones. There's no particular order but variety is always good. 

    Kudos,

    Mary

    Notice SEX was her first choice:)
    Was that a ploy to get her posted voted on?

     lol, seemingly so but not the case. I use all of the above to exhaust stress, just being truthful.

    Kudos,

    Mary  

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  • Mary B.
    Real Estate Investor · Lansdowne, PA · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 656 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Kenneth LaVoie:

    @Mary B - do you do all those things at once or separately? haha!

     Now there's an intriguing idea! :-)

    Kudos,

    Mary

    1Reply
  • Account Closed
    Homeowner · Pittsburgh, PA · Member since 2014 · 854 posts · 511 votes
    11y

    @Mary B. 

    0Reply
  • Luke Holcomb
    Investor & Wholesaler · Chattanooga, TN · Member since 2014 · 41 posts · 14 votes
    11y
    I have worked in the construction industry over a decade. Figure out what it's worth to you to not deal with that and pay it. Professional contractors are rare and pricy. You get what you pay for. If you want to go the cheap route, practice the phrase, "I'm making an extra 10k to deal with this..." And the day you wake up and say, this isn't worth 10k, go find someone else. I love crafting things with my hands and hate to say it, but the construction industry (specifically in depressed areas/the south) is full of good technicians (hopefully) and horrible business people. The people who do understand business are expensive (comparatively) it's your job to figure out what the value proposition is and go with your tolerance. Once you figure out what that is, you can make sure the deals you pick up have enough to cover your tolerance... Best of luck! Luke Ps- if you ever need help or have questions with managing contractors, feel free to contact me.
    1Reply
  • Mary B.
    Real Estate Investor · Lansdowne, PA · Member since 2013 · 1k+ posts · 656 votes
    11y
    Originally posted by @Account Closed:

    @Mary B. 

    ;-)

    Kudos,

    Mary

    0Reply
  • Rocky Sanguedolce
    Real Estate Investor · Montgomery, PA · Member since 2014 · 16 posts · 4 votes
    11y

    I own a busy bar & I live right next to it. Last night I had a drunk regular that was cut off standing right out side of my window at 1am screaming my name. He wanted to talk to me about how mad he was that the bartenders cut him off. Every week I worry about someone getting shot, stabbed, raped, mugged, leaving my place and killing someone with there car. It really is a nice place, but dear god I hate the bar business. I have to sell 300 draft beers at $2 bucks a pop to make the $600 that I have someone mail to me with an apartment. When property owners qq about stress of dealing with tenants I giggle & tell them about how I had a customer kick in the door to my house looking for the bathroom...Dealing with tenants is a vacation from dealing with drunks. 

    I forgot to mention that the bar is located directly in the center of a campground. Fights in the parking lot at 3am 100 feet away from a $100k RV that paid $45 for a night of quality camping...I get stress from that...I hate drunks. I love property rentals. 

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  • Account Closed
    Real Estate Investor · San Antonio, TX · Member since 2014 · 785 posts · 190 votes
    11y

    I work out a lot, running, biking, swimming, lifting. 

    Also, I choose to invest in areas of REI that are not stressful. Owner financing cheap properties works very well in my area, and the total lack of landlord problems makes for a stress free life!

    0Reply
  • Kate B.
    Investor · Albany, NY · Member since 2014 · 129 posts · 28 votes
    11y

    I discovered when I worked in Family Court that there is a difference between the stress that situations and other people cause, and the stress I create for myself.   It was very valuable to learn this.

    So, now, I am a new landlord and let an acquaintance rent part of the second floor.   He's a great guy ( a cop).   But he's a magnet for sad situations.  He meets people all over who need a place to live.   I can handle it.   But yesterday I met a nut case on the phone, the payee (mom) for her daughter who wants to live here, and I decided to put my foot down after she tried to strong arm me into different things.  I had my first stressful night as a new landlord -- contractor sh*t and repairs do not bother me.   Crazy people accusing me of sh*t do bother me.  (She accused me of having a rooming house, violating the law, when I don't.)   So I decided I have to learn how to protect myself, and I called my great lawyer for his down to earth advice.

    Exercise and playing with dogs and calling friends make it easier too.

    0Reply
  • Aly W.
    Investor · Middletown, NJ · Member since 2008 · 2k+ posts · 1k+ votes
    11y

    As for disappearing contractors and vendors, in Florida, it's called Keys Disease! Lobster season, or just great boating or diving conditions, will often cause a labor drain on the mainland ;)

    As for handling stress, in the last couple of months I've had several friends/a family member/acquaintances die, mostly of cancer, some of them young. My new outlook is that if it's not cancer, it's not that bad.

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