Do You Understand How Ugly This Is Going to Be?

Do You Understand How Ugly This Is Going to Be?

Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes

There is nothing sane about what you have to be prepared to do in order to make a start in this business. Please take that as a given. The only thing I can fully agree with Grant Cardone about is his statement that real estate investors should, "Forget about 9-5 and start working 95 hours a week."

But the hours are not as bad as WHAT you have to do. I see people whining all the time here about their fears of unclogging toilets at 3 in the morning. People, unclogging a toilet is EASY. Wait until you have to chop a house stack with a demo saw and it dumps a pound of 100-year-old fermented dried filth on you. Wait until the first time you get sick from some mysterious disease because you were prepping a paint job somewhere in some filthy area and some decades-old bacteria were waiting for you to scrape them up. Your first massive vanity clog in a rental where your tenant has been dying her hair in the sink for years.

There are people on this site who have knocked on one side of a door with a dead body on the other side. And it just goes from there. You may think you're going to escape the nasty by investing in a different way, or following a system, or, or, or...

It continues to boggle my mind, year after year, that people get into real estate thinking they're never going to get their hands dirty, usually just because some guru told them it was possible. The price of contractors and handymen keeps going up and up and up, but no, you will always be able to afford to pay people whatever extortionate sum they want to do something that needs to be done today, and of course they will always show up. Sure.

Come on, people. Let's say a guy in one of those annoying bright blue suits with goop in his hair walked into your life and announced that he could offer you a sure-fire opportunity to get into the port-a-potty rental business. Low starting investment, high returns, big money all around. And best of all, if you followed his exclusive franchise system, YOU WOULD NEVER EVER EVER have to smell CRAP in your business. No, not once.

Would you believe him? Would you nod your head enthusiastically along with his fantastic energy and clap? Would you rush to raise the limits on your credit cards to take advantage of this fabulous opportunity? Would you try to rope your friends into it? And yet the gurus manage to tell you you're going to buy real estate, hold real estate, sell real estate, and you are never really going to have to fix real estate, clean real estate, paint real estate, none of that, AND PEOPLE BELIEVE THEM.

I'm asking for contributions here. I know that some of the things you have to do get so nasty that some of us, like me, won't openly talk about the absolute nastiest thing we've ever done in this business. We don't even want to remember it. But can you help out and add an example here of some less-than-pleasant thing you've had to do to get to where you are? And please, nothing about how you managed to cheat someone, steal something from someone, broke the law to your great advantage. You can just save that for Judgment Day.

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Bruce WoodruffPro Member
Contractor/Investor/Consultant 路 San Diego / Phoenix 路 Member since 2021 路 12k+ posts 路 15k+ votes
3y

Good post @Jim K. Yes, the internet and this forum are filled with well-meaning and ever hopeful wanna-be entrepeneurs. Real Estate is very appealing and has a magic allure all it's own....I mean you're not just buying a widget or even a car, you're buying an actual piece of dirt with your name on it....a primal desire if you will...

So once I was down in an 8 ft hole just before dark...guess why? The plumber never showed up and the Inspection was the next day....I figured what the heck, I can cut this sewer line and slip in a Tee, no big deal. I told my crew to go and tell everyone in the Condo building to not use the plumbing for an hour please.... 馃槀 

Well it didn't go as easy as I thought and water kept running into the hole, I had to bail while I tried to fit the Tee in between the cuts I had made. Then the people that had been at work and not gotten the notice to not flush showed up..... 馃槀

I'll never forget one of my guys just standing up there saying "Dude" over and over....

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  • Real Estate Broker 路 Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH 路 Member since 2013 路 30k+ posts 路 20k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    There is nothing sane about what you have to be prepared to do in order to make a start in this business. Please take that as a given. The only thing I can fully agree with Grant Cardone about is his statement that real estate investors should, "Forget about 9-5 and start working 95 hours a week."

    But the hours are not as bad as WHAT you have to do. I see people whining all the time here about their fears of unclogging toilets at 3 in the morning. People, unclogging a toilet is EASY. Wait until you have to chop a house stack with a demo saw and it dumps a pound of 100-year-old fermented dried filth on you. Wait until the first time you get sick from some mysterious disease because you were prepping a paint job somewhere in some filthy area and some decades-old bacteria were waiting for you to scrape them up. Your first massive vanity clog in a rental where your tenant has been dying her hair in the sink for years.

    There are people on this site who have knocked on one side of a door with a dead body on the other side. And it just goes from there. You may think you're going to escape the nasty by investing in a different way, or following a system, or, or, or...

    It continues to boggle my mind, year after year, that people get into real estate thinking they're never going to get their hands dirty, usually just because some guru told them it was possible. The price of contractors and handymen keeps going up and up and up, but no, you will always be able to afford to pay people whatever extortionate sum they want to do something that needs to be done today, and of course they will always show up. Sure.

    Come on, people. Let's say a guy in one of those annoying bright blue suits with goop in his hair walked into your life and announced that he could offer you a sure-fire opportunity to get into the port-a-potty rental business. Low starting investment, high returns, big money all around. And best of all, if you followed his exclusive franchise system, YOU WOULD NEVER EVER EVER have to smell CRAP in your business. No, not once.

    Would you believe him? Would you nod your head enthusiastically along with his fantastic energy and clap? Would you rush to raise the limits on your credit cards to take advantage of this fabulous opportunity? Would you try to rope your friends into it? And yet the gurus manage to tell you you're going to buy real estate, hold real estate, sell real estate, and you are never really going to have to fix real estate, clean real estate, paint real estate, none of that, AND PEOPLE BELIEVE THEM.

    I'm asking for contributions here. I know that some of the things you have to do get so nasty that some of us, like me, won't openly talk about the absolute nastiest thing we've ever done in this business. We don't even want to remember it. But can you help out and add an example here of some less-than-pleasant thing you've had to do to get to where you are? And please, nothing about how you managed to cheat someone, steal something from someone, broke the law to your great advantage. You can just save that for Judgment Day.


     Wasn't the worst thing in the world, but I'll tell ya, you never forget finding your 1st used dildo.

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y

    @James Wise

    Did it still have a female condom draped on it? Enquiring minds want to know, and yes, I have a picture.

  • Rental Property Investor 路 East Wenatchee, WA 路 Member since 2014 路 10k+ posts 路 16k+ votes
    3y

    Cats, rats, roaches,  birds, squirrels, raccoons.  Oh my.  

    Thanks for dredging up traumatic memories of my 21 years in the LL trenches @Jim K. 馃槑

    I played in poop (hamburgers) enough to own my own drum snake with a foot pedal. 

    The fondest memories were of the crazy occupants.  We'd finally get one out because I was checking the county jail inmate list every morning and saw they had 'em.  We declared the apt abandoned and moved them out in hours. Who knew how long their jail stay would be. "Mike, they got her.  Grab a bunch of boxes and meet me at the property now!"

    Another one was a squatter.  We finally got the tenant out and her friend moved in.  My on-site guy (Mike again) hurled insults at him from outside until the squatter went outside  to defend his honor.   Mike got by him and locked himself inside until  my 'western' locksmith and other friends secured the property. 

    You gotta think on your feet and have large, skilled friends in this business. Be creative and not afraid to roll your sleeves up and put your boots on.

  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant 路 San Diego / Phoenix 路 Member since 2021 路 12k+ posts 路 15k+ votes
    3y

    Oh, and then there was the house that became our primary. First walk-through needed 2 masks to not upchuck. 9 dogs locked inside, goats and sheep locked on the porch, horse barn had NEVER been cleaned out, exotic birds of prey in the garage.

    Why oh why do we do this? Fun if you're kinda twisted like most of us. And tripled in value over 3 years.....

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y

    @Steve Vaughan

    I only have one raccoon story. I do not, thankfully, own an electric drum snake. I am lucky enough to be very good friends with a plumber, who is also my mentor in this business.

    I inherited a guy in an apartment who used the COVID moratorium here to avoid paying almost a year of rent. When I bought the building and I started checking him out, I saw that he had falsified the spelling of his last name in order to hide three recent evictions on his record (the previous landlord was too stupid to check his ID). He had actually gone to the same magistrate twice under two different names for two different evictions. That's how I got him out. He understood that misrepresenting your identity to a landlord isn't a crime, but misrepresenting it in court certainly is.

  • Joe S.Pro Member
    Investor 路 San Antonio 路 Member since 2020 路 3k+ posts 路 3k+ votes
    3y

    I had two sellers that kept breaking back into the house. Strip some things, etc..
    I had another seller show up at one of our rental houses several years after the fact, telling the tenant that it was her house, and the tenant needed to move out.

    When I first started, I had a house I was trying to sell. A seller signed a contract put down $200 down.  Tied up the property up for two months then backed out of closing because he said the interest rate on his loan was too high. He demanded the $200 back and because I refused to meet him so he could talk it over. He threaten to kill me along with a pretty good cursing.

  • Rental Property Investor 路 East Wenatchee, WA 路 Member since 2014 路 10k+ posts 路 16k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    @Steve Vaughan

    I only have one raccoon story. I do not, thankfully, own an electric drum snake. I am lucky enough to be very good friends with a plumber, who is also my mentor in this business.

    Nice.  I didn't buy one until my favorite sewer snake guy and friend retired.  He retired along with my plumber (eyesight) my electrician (dimentia) gas hvac guy (age)  and most everyone else.   A big reaon I sold 90% in '22.

    The new people weren't as good at all but much more expensive.   The irrigation guy quoted me $110/hr to troubleshoot a sprinkler issue.  I took care of it like usual, then tapped out. It will never be hands-off. 

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y

    @Bruce Woodruff

    You definitely have to have a  sense of humor about it, or the sadness will overwhelm you.

    We ran an eviction where the tenant split, left all her possession in the apartment. Going through her stuff, we found that she had saved every report card from school she'd ever received. She left all the pictures she had ever taken of herself and her family. Every letter and card she'd ever received.

    When we put her stuff out for trash pickup by the borough, it was a whole life in trash bags. That's what it was worth after she started messing around with drugs.



  • Bruce WoodruffPro Member
    Contractor/Investor/Consultant 路 San Diego / Phoenix 路 Member since 2021 路 12k+ posts 路 15k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    @Bruce Woodruff

    You definitely have to have a  sense of humor about it, or the sadness will overwhelm you.

    For sure. That same house was a result of a senior citizen getting scammed by an elder-abuse wanted felon who specialized in taking seniors houses (what a thing to specialize in, eh?) She got him to quit-claim the house to her and then put him in a home. Moved in her biker/tweaker friends and partied for a year. Thought they'd sell and make money.....until they met me and lost $9000. As they say, payback is a ***** :-)
  • Rental Property Investor 路 Hammond, WI 路 Member since 2017 路 139 posts 路 217 votes
    3y

    I'll keep my short and sweet, I've always had a PM do the majority of my day to day and clean-ups, but at the end of the month I get billed and for each hour and they have a category with a quick explanation.  These are my 2 favorites in the last 7 years.

    1 hour- Dead petrified cat in the middle of the living room, removal of dead cat

    3 hour- tenant stated live racoon dropped through ceiling while watching tv- repaired hole in soffit and patched/repaired drywall

  • Honolulu, HI 路 Member since 2008 路 3k+ posts 路 2k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    @Richard F.

    Aw, c'mon Richard, you make it sound like it's a terrible gig!


    Quite the opposite! You never know what the next phone call will bring...it is always interesting; sometimes disgusting; but also often very entertaining! Not a boring cubicle job for sure...but also not for the faint of heart, or the meek. Something different nearly every week...it certainly keeps you thinking! And just when you think you've seen it all...BAM! A new and challenging situation arises.
  • Member since 2019 路 7k+ posts 路 4k+ votes
    3y

    i think one of my biggest unpleasant memory in real estate is that I have to fight with squatter that keep occupy my rental for three days so it's like we make a war with them. I do literally kicked them out from property with forces.

    I don't believe lawyer blablababla ok, so I do really fight with them. Ask police to come three times a day. I put barricade everywhere, window, door,etc for them not to enter hahaha .... crazy.

    Squatter is really nasty, and purchasing drug dealer house is nothing fun hahaha

  • Investor 路 Provo, UT 路 Member since 2016 路 759 posts 路 626 votes
    3y
    Clean Up After an Eviction

    This is only one photo that does not show the entire space but this photo is of the illegal structure my past tenant decided to leave me. He had built this and attached it to his RV. This single Saturday we brought 15 dump trailers to the landfill and we only stopped because they closed.

    This park I bought with nothing down and net about 12k a month on it and I am not embellishing it.  Sometimes and somedays being an investor sucks like really sucks but I believe all rewards require a sacrafice.

  • Investor 路 Fresno, CA 路 Member since 2016 路 222 posts 路 237 votes
    3y

    Podcasts are certainly going to sell the hype. They are a business afterall and while bad news gets attention, it is counter to the aims of those trying to sell the dream. 

    The main mistake is believing that there is an "easy" way to make money. Sorry to tell you, but there isn't. If there was an easy way, people would flood into it and it would no longer be available or profitable. 

    This belief prolongs the search for a "secret" and makes people suscesptible to scammers. Real estate does work, is reliable, and profitable. But it is not "easy". There are no shortage of horror stories. 

    My horror stories are primarily financial thus far as I've outsourced all maintenance and renovations after my first property. 

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y

    @Timothy Howdeshell

    Ah, but if someone went to a special school, and did a special thing or two, and then did real estate, and then distilled down all their knowledge into a package of principles and checklists and spreadsheets...maybe you could be coached by this special person or by other special people who had already learned his special system...

    I've just described every real estate guru program in America. Now clap with me! Let's get the energy in the room up! CRUSH IT!!!

  • Member since 2019 路 7k+ posts 路 4k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Steve Vaughan:

    Cats, rats, roaches,  birds, squirrels, raccoons.  Oh my.  

    Thanks for dredging up traumatic memories of my 21 years in the LL trenches @Jim K. 馃槑

    I played in poop (hamburgers) enough to own my own drum snake with a foot pedal. 

    The fondest memories were of the crazy occupants.  We'd finally get one out because I was checking the county jail inmate list every morning and saw they had 'em.  We declared the apt abandoned and moved them out in hours. Who knew how long their jail stay would be. "Mike, they got her.  Grab a bunch of boxes and meet me at the property now!"

    Another one was a squatter.  We finally got the tenant out and her friend moved in.  My on-site guy (Mike again) hurled insults at him from outside until the squatter went outside  to defend his honor.   Mike got by him and locked himself inside until  my 'western' locksmith and other friends secured the property. 

    You gotta think on your feet and have large, skilled friends in this business. Be creative and not afraid to roll your sleeves up and put your boots on.


     hahaha ya.....amazing how many times we as landlord has to fight with criminals/squatters/drug dealers , these squatter is really nasty, they blew up my toilet and made one of the room really a freaking horror story, they stole everything that can be stolen. Lot of drugs found. One time I rented my car as well but turn out that renter is identity theft criminals, the police called me at 2am that my car was abandoned in middle of nowhere, when I picked up the car it's full of credit card and people's ID. Meth is everywhere. So nasty. I am so nervous that time but what is so strange is the police do not understand that the car has been used for criminal activity. I just sold the car for the next week and stopped doing business altogether.

    This is another reason I don't believe any movement that we have to defund the police or so, in my view folks has to double or triple the police size for the security of the real estate/property/car. In some area in CA, people stealing car is everyday business now. But police do nothing because the criminal is only 16 years old and DA do nothing. So folks in social media just broadcasting that this is the guy that like to break into your home and your car and they live in such and such address. It's wild wild west now.

  • Investor 路 Fresno, CA 路 Member since 2016 路 222 posts 路 237 votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    @Timothy Howdeshell

    Ah, but if someone went to a special school, and did a special thing or two, and then did real estate, and then distilled down all their knowledge into a package of principles and checklists and spreadsheets...maybe you could be coached by this special person or by other special people who had already learned his special system...

    I've just described every real estate guru program in America. Now clap with me! Let's get the energy in the room up! CRUSH IT!!!


     haha. Sign me up!

  • Real Estate Broker 路 Cleveland Dayton Cincinnati Toledo Columbus & Akron, OH 路 Member since 2013 路 30k+ posts 路 20k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    @James Wise

    Did it still have a female condom draped on it? Enquiring minds want to know, and yes, I have a picture.


     Condoms are for sailors

  • Kiara ColonBusiness Member
    Investor 路 Mesquite, TX 路 Member since 2022 路 42 posts 路 23 votes
    3y
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    There is nothing sane about what you have to be prepared to do in order to make a start in this business. Please take that as a given. The only thing I can fully agree with Grant Cardone about is his statement that real estate investors should, "Forget about 9-5 and start working 95 hours a week."

    But the hours are not as bad as WHAT you have to do. I see people whining all the time here about their fears of unclogging toilets at 3 in the morning. People, unclogging a toilet is EASY. Wait until you have to chop a house stack with a demo saw and it dumps a pound of 100-year-old fermented dried filth on you. Wait until the first time you get sick from some mysterious disease because you were prepping a paint job somewhere in some filthy area and some decades-old bacteria were waiting for you to scrape them up. Your first massive vanity clog in a rental where your tenant has been dying her hair in the sink for years.

    There are people on this site who have knocked on one side of a door with a dead body on the other side. And it just goes from there. You may think you're going to escape the nasty by investing in a different way, or following a system, or, or, or...

    It continues to boggle my mind, year after year, that people get into real estate thinking they're never going to get their hands dirty, usually just because some guru told them it was possible. The price of contractors and handymen keeps going up and up and up, but no, you will always be able to afford to pay people whatever extortionate sum they want to do something that needs to be done today, and of course they will always show up. Sure.

    Come on, people. Let's say a guy in one of those annoying bright blue suits with goop in his hair walked into your life and announced that he could offer you a sure-fire opportunity to get into the port-a-potty rental business. Low starting investment, high returns, big money all around. And best of all, if you followed his exclusive franchise system, YOU WOULD NEVER EVER EVER have to smell CRAP in your business. No, not once.

    Would you believe him? Would you nod your head enthusiastically along with his fantastic energy and clap? Would you rush to raise the limits on your credit cards to take advantage of this fabulous opportunity? Would you try to rope your friends into it? And yet the gurus manage to tell you you're going to buy real estate, hold real estate, sell real estate, and you are never really going to have to fix real estate, clean real estate, paint real estate, none of that, AND PEOPLE BELIEVE THEM.

    I'm asking for contributions here. I know that some of the things you have to do get so nasty that some of us, like me, won't openly talk about the absolute nastiest thing we've ever done in this business. We don't even want to remember it. But can you help out and add an example here of some less-than-pleasant thing you've had to do to get to where you are? And please, nothing about how you managed to cheat someone, steal something from someone, broke the law to your great advantage. You can just save that for Judgment Day.



    My best friend always reminds me that 'if it was easy, everybody would do it,' and this sentiment couldn't be truer in the world of real estate. Thanks for the post, Jim!

  • Rental Property Investor 路 Centralia, WA 路 Member since 2017 路 75 posts 路 85 votes
    3y

    Great post.  My first house, which I still have today, was a fixer upper and I didn't know a damn thing about renovations.  I just bought some books and Youtube wasn't around.  The house needed a lot of work.  And I did this after my regular job (Army at the time), spent a few hours during the work week, then all day on the weekends.  It took over a month before I finally settled in there.

    One of the main issues was the carpet.  It was nasty and needed replacement.  Cigarette burns everywhere.  Pulled out that carpet and it looked like it was never vacuumed in ages.  The dust, nail clippings?, and whatever nasty azz shiite flying all over me.  In the middle of a Texas summer.  I didn't have a mask on.  I ended up putting floating hardwood panels instead of carpet and vowed never to have carpet in my home after that experience.

    Outside in the backyard, it was a jungle with debris, leftover lumber/wood/scrub, and grass two feet high.  The previous tenant didn't like to be outdoors apparently.  Before starting, I had to kill a few wasp nests that had settled in the overhang.  These nests weren't small, they were the size of soccer balls and the wasps were none too pleased their homes were demolished.  The easy part was painting the interior and exterior of the house.  In the span of 6 months, I had to replace the AC unit, water heater, and refrigerator.   

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @James Wise:
    Quote from @Jim K.:

    @James Wise

    Did it still have a female condom draped on it? Enquiring minds want to know, and yes, I have a picture.


     Condoms are for sailors

    Oh yeah, it was definitely all aboard for this pirate queen, Jim. If you ever saw her I'm sure it would shiver your timbers.

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Tim Rostro:

    Great post.  My first house, which I still have today, was a fixer upper and I didn't know a damn thing about renovations.  I just bought some books and Youtube wasn't around.  The house needed a lot of work.  And I did this after my regular job (Army at the time), spent a few hours during the work week, then all day on the weekends.  It took over a month before I finally settled in there.

    One of the main issues was the carpet.  It was nasty and needed replacement.  Cigarette burns everywhere.  Pulled out that carpet and it looked like it was never vacuumed in ages.  The dust, nail clippings?, and whatever nasty azz shiite flying all over me.  In the middle of a Texas summer.  I didn't have a mask on.  I ended up putting floating hardwood panels instead of carpet and vowed never to have carpet in my home after that experience.

    Outside in the backyard, it was a jungle with debris, leftover lumber/wood/scrub, and grass two feet high.  The previous tenant didn't like to be outdoors apparently.  Before starting, I had to kill a few wasp nests that had settled in the overhang.  These nests weren't small, they were the size of soccer balls and the wasps were none too pleased their homes were demolished.  The easy part was painting the interior and exterior of the house.  In the span of 6 months, I had to replace the AC unit, water heater, and refrigerator.   

    When I pulled the carpet in my primary residence, the padding was that nasty yellow stuff that degrades and crumbles with age, The builders had stapled it in. Because this was a high-humidity environment, the padding was actually stuck in many places to the subfloor as well. We were down on the floor scraping and pulling staples throughout the house. Both my wife and I got sick, of course. We suspect the padding was from the seventies, and this was, I believe 2009. Oh, that was disgusting.

    Never had too much trouble with wasps, but poison ivy? Did you know you can go from being immune as a child to being highly susceptible as an adult? I didn't!

  • Investor 路 Amherst, NY 路 Member since 2015 路 57 posts 路 25 votes
    3y

    OK, hearing all these stories makes me wanna jump on the train - I've heard "talking" about it helps ones overcome the trauma ;/ - I had a tenant illegally sublet a unit in one of my triplexes to a prostitute/crack head. She and her two German Sheppard's caused an inordinate amount of damage where I literally had to hire specials wearing hazmat suits to clean it all up. Cost - $23,000 plus 6 months of lost income. Anyone ever have a tenant die in one of their units? Yup, had that one happen too. Poor guy but OMG, the smell....      

  • Member since 2022 路 3 posts 路 2 votes
    3y

    @Scott Mac

    I call bs on ur story

  • Handyman 路 Pittsburgh, PA 路 Member since 2018 路 5k+ posts 路 13k+ votes
    3y
    Quote from @Remy Piazza:

    OK, hearing all these stories makes me wanna jump on the train - I've heard "talking" about it helps ones overcome the trauma ;/ - I had a tenant illegally sublet a unit in one of my triplexes to a prostitute/crack head. She and her two German Sheppard's caused an inordinate amount of damage where I literally had to hire specials wearing hazmat suits to clean it all up. Cost - $23,000 plus 6 months of lost income. Anyone ever have a tenant die in one of their units? Yup, had that one happen too. Poor guy but OMG, the smell....  


    To date, one overdose that came back, and one that didn't, Remy. And I have never housed a prostitute, to my knowledge. I do have a story about a camgirl, however...

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