Rental Property Investor · Louisville, KY · Member since 2019 · 37 posts · 61 votes
So recently I've been incredibly excited about this new journey of REI. I've been looking at properties in the Indianapolis/Louisville markets and have found some places I'm interested in. No one in my family has any experience in REI and quite frankly have been very discouraging in their remarks about my goals. I'd love to start in a duplex/triplex/fourplex using house hacking, however when I tell family that I get looks like I'm crazy. Any hints/facts I can give family that would help them see the upside that is REI? Thanks!
Huntsville, AL · Member since 2018 · 577 posts · 864 votes
6y
My wife thought I was insane when my business partner and I got a contract accepted on our first investment property. She pointed out everything that could go wrong, noted how I "didn't have time for this", and was afraid of how much money we would lose on the endeavor.
So what did I do? I completely ignored her and proceeded. And with time, she has even admitted it was a wise decision.
Antioch, IL · Member since 2019 · 13 posts · 14 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne it’s funny I saw your post. I just read this passage from Mark this morning. Jesus said to them “a prophet is not without honor except in his native place and among his own kin and his own house” he was amazed at their lack of faith. I think if Jesus couldn’t convince his family I definitely don’t stand a chance. I know we’re always very excited to share our passion with the people we love but in my experience I’m a lot less excited after I’ve shared it. Just go on BP and tell us who understand 😁
Real Estate Broker · Los Angeles, CA · Member since 2015 · 5 posts · 3 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne
Don’t tell them what you are about to do. JUST DO IT! As stated by Nike. So long as you’re not paying someone $10,000 to show you how to buy, I mean, as long as you are well educated to make informed decisions. You’re ready. You don’t need to pitch your family. They’ll come on board once you’re successful. And if they don’t, just don’t share your investing thoughts with them. Save it for meetups.
Investor · Poway, CA · Member since 2015 · 7k+ posts · 8k+ votes
6y
I only read some of the responses …
Virtually everyone that has invested in REI from 2010 until 2018 has looked like a genius. This has not always been the case. My view is that a lot of investors today are overzealous and purchasing risky investments. I am confident there will some investors getting into the market now that will fail.
However, proper education on RE investing is a key to not be one of those investors that fail. What you need to know varies upon what RE approach you take. For buy n hold small unit count investors, understanding maintenance/cap expense is important as is the risk/reward of leverage. For flippers, the knowledge necessary is different. To have best chance of success, be educated in your chosen RE area.
The education will give you confidence. This confidence will allow you to 1) not be too concerned about contrarian perspectives 2) may even convince the naysayers that you know what you are doing and that you are likely to succeed.
Do you know why the government restricts certain investments to accredited investors? It is under the belief that they are sophisticated enough to understand the risk/reward dynamics. The inverse correlation between the two makes these investments too tempting for those not sophisticated in investing (or not able to afford the resulting losses).
In your chosen RE area, you want to be fully versed on the risk/reward. My view is that too many RE investors entering the market today see the reward but are not fully aware of the risks. Do not be that investor!
Real Estate Broker · Tampa, FL · Member since 2017 · 16 posts · 7 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne sometimes you have to show them through success. It's not that they don't want you to be successful but more than likely they just don't understand. I have family that to this day is scared to talk about money and/or real estate because it's EXPENSIVE! Rise and Grind! 24/7/365. Until they get their ah-ha moment.
Rental Property Investor · Milwaukee, WI · Member since 2019 · 4 posts · 1 vote
6y
@Jeff Byrne I’ve been dealing with the same issue. At first the negative feedback would beat me down and make me feel stupid for having my own idea of what success is. After reading Rich Dad, it made me realize it’s okay to not want to go to college and live to work. My parents still don’t agree with my plans. I just use their discouragement as motivation to prove them wrong and make them proud. There will always be naysayers no matter what path you choose.
Investor · Bakersfield, CA · Member since 2015 · 161 posts · 46 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne. We decided not to tell our family until we have 3 properties under profitable rent because of this. They have to come to the idea of real estate investing in their own. But, I would recommend them reading the foundational book Rich Dad Poor Dad to get them to see things they way you do.
Rental Property Investor · Member since 2018 · 7 posts · 3 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne
As individuals we are each provided with a vision and a dream. Understand that the reason they can’t see it is because it’s not meant for them to see. It’s meant for you.
Rental Property Investor · Fayetteville, NC · Member since 2016 · 67 posts · 37 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne
Just be a "rhino", have thick skin and charge ahead! Great little book btw, Rhinocerous Success, Scott Alexander. Definitely helped change my attitude towards the naysayers. Made 2 offers on rental properties this week.
Rental Property Investor · NC · Member since 2018 · 776 posts · 776 votes
6y
I got the same thing starting out. Doesn't help that my second property became a huge mistake. But you live and learn. You don't have to say anything. Let them observe what you're doing and then see the results. Find a group to run ideas across and your family will be impressed with what you've built. It gets easier as you progress.
Rental Property Investor · Miami, FL · Member since 2018 · 110 posts · 113 votes
6y
Hey Jeff,
I've been in your exact spot and unfortunately there's nothing you can tell them to get them to understand. Family is usually emotional about their opinion on what you're trying to do. So, the best way to convince them is to do it and show them how and what house hacking can do. Time is your best friend and they will eventually come around. In the mean time, don't take their comments personal or allow them to discourage you. Unless they've done exactly what you're doing and have learned from experience their advice shouldn't impact your investment decision.
Learn, educate yourself and go through the deal multiple times. Numbers don't lie so if you're finding something that makes don't doubt yourself because of other people that have not completed the research you have!
So recently I've been incredibly excited about this new journey of REI. I've been looking at properties in the Indianapolis/Louisville markets and have found some places I'm interested in. No one in my family has any experience in REI and quite frankly have been very discouraging in their remarks about my goals. I'd love to start in a duplex/triplex/fourplex using house hacking, however when I tell family that I get looks like I'm crazy. Any hints/facts I can give family that would help them see the upside that is REI? Thanks!
Later when you tell them you're thinking of quitting your job due to your real estate success, you'll get the same looks.
Wow! Every time I come across a post like this, it makes me appreciate BP even more.
There is not much I can add that hasn't already been touched on.
So hear are some quotes about leadership and success, to inspire you and all those that happen upon this thread...good fortune to all of you!
“Lead, follow or get out of the way” — Laurence J. Peter “Doing is a quantum leap from imagining” — BARBARA SHER “I don’t know any other way to lead but by example” — DON SHULA “Leadership is a choice not a position” — STEPHEN COVEY
“Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther”
— J.P. MORGAN
“Leadership is about taking responsibility, not making excuses” — MITT ROMNEY
"If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." John Quincy Adam
"Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them" John C. Maxwell
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle
“I am thankful for all of those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I’m doing it myself.” – Albert Einstein
“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T. S. Eliot
“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”
Chase your dream! It's yours, not theirs. I feel I've wasted almost 15 years sticking around helping the family farm only to be left with very little financially.
Do NOT let their poor mindset keep you in a safe zone of their liking. If you can stay positive and you see the end zone, go get it! Attitude has way more to do with outcome than aptitude. Best of luck!
So I am just getting started in REI myself and have not even purchased my first property. However, I did build my own successful business and have been self employed as an entrepreneur for the last 4 years. When I first started talking about my business idea, friends and acquaintances gave me the raised eyebrow and I often heard disparaging comments about my goals and my dream. I remember how discouraging that was and it certainly didn't help me at the time when going through the anxiety, pressure and stress that new business owners go through in the early stages. Once my business took off and became recognized, I noticed a lot of the naysayers congratulating me, while others remained silent for good. But another thing I noticed is that none of them have had significant changes in their lives since 4 years ago when I burned the ships behind me and started my business. They work the same jobs, live in the same places and still talk about the same things on social media every day. That was a lesson for me that I should only be seeking advice or input from people who are actually DOING something successfully. I wouldn't ask for mechanical advice from someone who's never changed oil before and I wouldn't ask for someone's thoughts about my REI goals if they don't know the first thing about it (even if they are family). I have also learned that while people often mean well, the vast majority of people are employees, not entrepreneurs. Most people learn that you must go to school, get a diploma, get into a good college, get a degree, get into a good company, slave away for 40 years until you can get that shiny watch and retire. Anyone who deviates from that "safe" cookie-cutter mold gets strange looks and scoffed at. But ironically, the richest people in the world didn't get there by working for someone else. They took a risk and chased their ambitions. You asked what you can do to help your family see the light... I would explain to them (one time) why you're doing it and what the benefits are and how they outweigh the risks. If they come around, great! But be prepared for them to still not get it or to think the risks are too great. If that happens, let it go. Remember that your family probably means well. They probably just don't want to see you lose money (which happens even to the best investors) or they just don't understand your path because of their perspective. But thankfully for you and them, it isn't their path. Its YOURS. Keep going!
Specialist · Newberg, OR · Member since 2009 · 93 posts · 71 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne getting looks like that is a sign you’re on the right track. It means it’s not in the “normal” thought process - and normal yields average results so why would you want that? 😊 keep pushing forward and don’t let the doubters hold you back. Surround yourself with those who do believe in your goals and who’ve been where you want to go.
So recently I've been incredibly excited about this new journey of REI. I've been looking at properties in the Indianapolis/Louisville markets and have found some places I'm interested in. No one in my family has any experience in REI and quite frankly have been very discouraging in their remarks about my goals. I'd love to start in a duplex/triplex/fourplex using house hacking, however when I tell family that I get looks like I'm crazy. Any hints/facts I can give family that would help them see the upside that is REI? Thanks!
I'd be much more concerned if your family WASN'T giving you weird looks. The only hints/facts that will sway them is when you start making cold hard MONAY (pronounced MON-AEEEEE).
Then they'll start asking you for help with their bills, cousin Geoffrey's student loans, aunt Carol's court costs, brother-in-law Greg's rehab fees etc..
Investor · Clatskanie, OR · Member since 2014 · 212 posts · 233 votes
6y
Tell your family, you can retire in 5 years with huge income from realistate or you can retire in 40 years from a college level W-2 job with a house and a car. Ask your parents which would be the better choice.
I would possibly consider becoming a dedicated educator, on all fundamental topics that come to your mind, simply because your family probably isn’t use to learning from you as much as you think. And conversations pertaining to rei can be uncomfortable to traditionalistic mindsets if not presented correctly, which takes hours to break down. It’s like talking about putting an LSD in a transmission or quantum mechanics just because people should take time to know about it, and form some level of intrigue, does mean that crap is important to them at this time in their precious life, you can especially expect that from the ones who put a lot of pressure on themselves and can’t quickly open their minds to simple conversation or new ideas, so i wouldn’t take it personal.
As stated above, become a high level educator, and keep bringing up new ideas to everyone to help bring perspective to their life < you will most likely value from it the most. Which is what we all need to understand the power of teaching.
I hope to learn something new from everyone I speak to, good day folks...
Rental Property Investor · Chicago, IL · Member since 2017 · 293 posts · 383 votes
6y
@Jeff Byrne Don’t be disheartened by any negative feedback you get. People typically will criticize what they do not understand. You have the opportunity to become the trendsetter in your family versus following the trend. Once you succeed, everyone will come to you for guidance and insight. Define your criteria and let the results take care of themselves. Good luck!