Is it really worth it telling people your real estate goals?

Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes

I know its encouraged here to tell your friends and family your goals with real estate. Tell everyone what you want to do and are looking for. My problem is everytime I do, I constantly have to defend myself and the reasons I am interested in real estate investing. I mostly get ignorant replies from people who have no clue what they're talking about and it just becomes frustrating to even talk to people about real estate investing. Anyone else feel this way?

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Angie Shires

Real Estate Broker · Tyler, TX · Member since 2018 · 193 posts · 143 votes

@Mike Jacovelli while I'm sure that can be discouraging, it might also be a good thing...as long as what you are receiving in genuine concern...People tend to discourage you when they feel like it is protecting you, so maybe spin it around this way:

1) When they voice concerns about the information you're giving them, you can either dismiss it and change the subject (if they are being negative).

2) Do they have any specific concerns that you should actually consider as relevant? If you respect their opinion, hear them out...we learn from others!

3) Have you educated yourself to the point that you can explain it to others? Do you have enough information yourself? Sometimes, that's the problem...if you are unsure, they will be unsure! When you are able to explain your plan to others, and tell them why it will work that will be your turning point!

Remember that some people just want to argue with you, no matter the subject! Chin up, you've got this! Keep saving, learning and planning. Good luck!

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Angie Shires
Real Estate Broker · Tyler, TX · Member since 2018 · 193 posts · 143 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli while I'm sure that can be discouraging, it might also be a good thing...as long as what you are receiving in genuine concern...People tend to discourage you when they feel like it is protecting you, so maybe spin it around this way:
1) When they voice concerns about the information you're giving them, you can either dismiss it and change the subject (if they are being negative).
2) Do they have any specific concerns that you should actually consider as relevant? If you respect their opinion, hear them out...we learn from others!
3) Have you educated yourself to the point that you can explain it to others? Do you have enough information yourself? Sometimes, that's the problem...if you are unsure, they will be unsure! When you are able to explain your plan to others, and tell them why it will work that will be your turning point!
Remember that some people just want to argue with you, no matter the subject! Chin up, you've got this! Keep saving, learning and planning. Good luck!
29 Reply
Account Closed
Kingsland, TX · Member since 2018 · 164 posts · 86 votes
6y
I think it is worth telling people about your real estate goals! They say that announcing your goals to others increases your chances of success for achieving your goals.
10 Reply
Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
Thank you Lauren. I'll keep doing it. @angie there are occasions where there are legit concerns and I'm fine with that. But too many other times I'm wondering why I talked to them. I had a guy tell me if I dont pay a hard money lender they will come after my family and my life would be in jeopardy. Dumb suggestions and concerns make me feel like ok I'm wasting my time. People tell me it's too risky. But yet they dont even know the basics of real estate when I talk to them. So then this is where I find myself more educating them then getting any good advice or referrals.
1 Reply
Bryan Stottlemyer
New to Real Estate · Charles Town, WV · Member since 2020 · 13 posts · 11 votes
6y
I’ve experienced this a bit, as well. For no identifiable reason, I feel hesitant to tell friends/coworkers what I’ve been reading/learning. I’ve enjoyed talking to folks that are already involved in real estate, but it’s been tough to be wise open about it. The people that I’ve shared my thoughts with have provided pretty insightful conversations - whether it’s with advice or helping me confirm that I’m making steps in the right direction. I also think there’s value in telling people your goals because it helps to hold you accountable to yourself. Talk the talk, walk the walk, right?
5 Reply
Chris Coleman
Rental Property Investor · Washington, DC · Member since 2015 · 429 posts · 393 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli sounds like you need to start reserving your real estate conversations, and time and energy, for more encouraging people.
Have you attended a real estate Meetup in your area? Or a real estate investing conference? If not, you definitely should find one and go. It will do you good to get around people who share your goals and enthusiasm. Spend your energy there.
Haters are gonna hate, so leave ‘em be.
17 Reply
Account Closed
Rental Property Investor · Central, FL · Member since 2016 · 950 posts · 821 votes
6y
Originally posted by @Mike Jacovelli:
I know its encouraged here to tell your friends and family your goals with real estate. Tell everyone what you want to do and are looking for. My problem is everytime I do, I constantly have to defend myself and the reasons I am interested in real estate investing. I mostly get ignorant replies from people who have no clue what they're talking about and it just becomes frustrating to even talk to people about real estate investing. Anyone else feel this way?

I Typically talk to people about real estate who will benefit from the conversation or can create mutually beneficial relationship from it.
There’s times that I feel people out for it. But mostly once they roadblock it and shut down the conversation I move on. Not everyone will want to get involved in real estate or understand or approve.
1 Reply
Angie Shires
Real Estate Broker · Tyler, TX · Member since 2018 · 193 posts · 143 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli Sounds like you should probably reserve the REI conversations for people who will help support you! Not everyone is going to understand.
Start meeting professionals in the area that you want to invest in. Doesn't really matter what profession, surround yourself with successful people. Begin with bankers, real estate agents, insurance agents, property managers, CPAs...be honest about just starting out and in the investigation phase. Start the conversations, ask the questions and before long you've people that you can talk to about REI. Don't forget that as you build these relationships, that you need to also bring value. Figure out how you can help these people that are helping you!
Don't forget to come to BP for support. Get on the forums regularly, post and get to know the people on here! We are here to support and encourage you!
4 Reply
Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
@brian you're that is right. That is also part the reason I tell people. @chris I have not I definitely need to. I do also think it is part haters hating. Knowing they couldn't do it or are too afraid to try so they do seem salty. @eric yes true. I do the same. But sometimes they keep going. When they do that I find out how little they do actually know about real estate yet they're telling me it's too risky. Even though that same person doesn't know simple terms like ARV or LTV
0 Reply
Kenneth GarrettPro Member
Investor · Florida Panhandle/Illinois · Member since 2016 · 4k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
I find it interesting that all the naysayers who are so negative about investing in real estate have no clue what it takes to be successful. It takes hard work and education. These same people will also ask you later when you become successful how you did it. Real Estate investing is not hard but it definitely is not easy. Keep moving forward. Pick and choose who you share the information with. Anything negative that happens, the naysayers will be there to let you know I told you so. Be positive and keep growing. In the end you will be financially free.
2 Reply
Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
Thank you very much angie. That is some good advice. I have to just do that. I'm going to aggressively plan to go to real estate meet up where I want to invest in NJ and in nyc where I live.
1 Reply
Mike Dymski
Investor · Greenville, SC · Member since 2016 · 5k+ posts · 13k+ votes
6y
You: "Hey, I'm investing in rental properties in X area. Keep me posted if you hear of anything."

Them: "Man, that's risky."

You: "Yeah, it can be. How's [insert something from their life]?"

Don't try to convince them. Just change the subject and move on.

OR

You: "Hey, I'm investing in rental properties in X area. Keep me posted if you hear of anything."

Them: "Man, that's interesting...tell me about it."
Talk real estate with these people.
13 Reply
Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
@yes Kenneth! Exactly why I was starting to feel like I'm wasting my time talking to other people. So I think I'm going to have to do a better job picking my crowd to speak about real estate with. When I started getting into the stock market I had plenty of naysayers for that too. After a while of some successful trading those same naysayers did exactly that. Even one jokingly said he wanted to give me his money to invest into the market! Now to get the same reactions from real estate success!
0 Reply
Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
Great idea @mike I'm going to make sure I deliver it that way from now on
0 Reply
Blake Weldon
Rental Property Investor · Livonia, MI · Member since 2020 · 15 posts · 33 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli
People will hate you for primarily 2 things in life:
1. If you are happy
2. If you are successful
They will really hate you if you are both!
Everyone single person who discourages you from getting in real estate either doesn't have the courage to do it themselves or they have a random great uncle or third cousin who bought a house in a low income area and surprisingly the tenant tore the house up and didn't pay etc...
You truly are the average or reflection of the five closest people around you. I have a completely new set of friends since I started in real estate. All those friends really build me up and teach more lessons weekly. Find people in your area who are the level where you strive to be, ask them to lunch, and pick their brain. I guarantee you every single one of them will say yes to lunch.
6 Reply
Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
That is right @Blake. I've got to increase my real estate network
0 Reply
Basit SiddiqiBusiness Member
Accountant · New York, NY · Member since 2015 · 8k+ posts · 3k+ votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli

The reason people suggest you to mention that you are involved in real estate is the potential of it benefiting you in the future. You just never know.

Yes, you can tell 1 person, 2 people, 5 people and you may find out there is no benefit.
However, what if you told the 99th person you invest in real estate and he mentioned to you that he is involved in real estate or knows someone in real estate that wants to sell his portfolio?

or what if you tell people you are involved in real estate now and you mention it again to the same person in 5 years. That person now sees you as an expert in real estate. He may want to lend you money to do a deal or partner on a deal where you get a preferred cut.

You just never know.
[email protected]917-280-8544
Basit Siddiqi CPA4.880 Reviews
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Mike Jacovelli
OP
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
6y
@basit. Right it sounds like the same thing as continuously offering on properties and eventually one will be a good deal
0 Reply
Matt Nusbaum
Rental Property Investor · Annapolis, MD · Member since 2011 · 232 posts · 170 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli @Mike Dymski nailed it. Bring it up and gauge interest. From there go deeper if it warrants it. Not everyone if going to “get it” so just do your thing and move on. If you start to surround yourself with more like minded investors you’ll be able to talk to more and more people who understand what you’re trying to achieve. I wouldn’t say it really makes a difference whether you tell 100 hundred people who don’t care vs 5 people who do and will hold you accountable. Do what feels right.
2 Reply
Zach Weiland
Chardon, OH · Member since 2020 · 18 posts · 15 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli
I am still fairly new to real estate investing, but from my experience and the research I’ve done it IS risky and that scares a lot of people. I look at that as a good thing in a way. It makes for less competition, and if you can tolerate the risk there is a lot of times a reward on the other end!
2 Reply
Dennis M.
Rental Property Investor · Erie, PA · Member since 2018 · 6k+ posts · 9k+ votes
6y
Most people are :
-Terrified of anything that is potentially risky with money
- naturally cynical and negative toward new things
- fearful of what they don’t understand
Knowing this ..your best bet is to write your goals on a piece of paper and tell no one . Review your goals daily and I would dare say don’t even share them with other real estate investors . People crush dreams and will find a way to make you lose your nerve and this is a tough business . There are times when all you have is your nerve and the faith of a mustard seed . Don’t let anyone steal your vision or dream
6 Reply
Jeff Cichocki
Lender · All 50 States · Member since 2015 · 401 posts · 250 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli, I think the guy that told you a hard money was going to come after your family watches way to many mafia movies. Lol. Thanks for posting that. You made my day.
Good luck!
2 Reply
Joe SplitrockPro Member
Moderator
Rental Property Investor · Sioux Falls, SD · Member since 2015 · 9k+ posts · 18k+ votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli there is two reasons to tell everyone your goals:
1. Sharing your goals makes it more likely you will achieve them. Nobody wants to look silly by telling people something and not doing it.
2. Law of attraction. When you tell the world what you want, it gives it to you. I know it sounds crazy but you attract what you desire. Let's say you tell people you want to buy rental properties. Then one day your friend hears about a deal - they let you know. If they had no idea you were buying, they would never tell you. There is more to it, but that is basically how it works.
As the saying goes, "ignore the haters". Someone is always going to try to knock you down. Just remember it comes from their own insecurity. Once you show them your success, they will quiet down. Also keep in mind that criticism makes you stronger. We can't always see the fault in our plans.
6 Reply
Linda S.
Investor · Richmond, VA · Member since 2016 · 1k+ posts · 2k+ votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli,
I would say no--- don't tell non- real estate people your goals. All it does it make them feel envious and then realize how unambitious they are, so of course they will immediately shut it down. It's like you're subconsciously bragging about your big success and following your dreams, and then they are just like.. well i'm clocking in/out.
Figure out who your real estate friends are, and feed off each other's energy, and also figure out-- who are not, and zip it with the lingo they won't care about. They like you as a non-real estate person, and that's where you should stay with them IMO.
Personally, I really enjoy my non- real estate friends, because it's a nice break-- no talk about houses, tenants, drama--it's kinda like a flash back to the simple life!
2 Reply
David BowlesPro Member
Rental Property Investor · Davison, MI · Member since 2019 · 76 posts · 24 votes
6y
@Mike Jacovelli I know exactly how you feel! I haven’t begun investing yet, but developed a passion for real estate about a year ago. ALMOST everyone I try and talk with about it wants to tell me “how risky it is” and that “I’m making a mistake”. This bothered me at first, but then I sat down and actually thought about it. ALL of the people who try and argue with me (not sure why, I’m not trying to talk them into it) are broke! Most have no savings at all, huge car payments, giant mortgage payments and have negative net worths!!!
EVERY successful real estate investor I’ve spoken with has told me that it can be a fantastic wealth building vehicle. And they are successful investors! Who do you want to listen to?
Always consider the source. Set goals and don’t let the rest of the world get you down!!!
Best of luck in your endeavors :)
2 Reply
Tracy Munger
Kellogg, IA · Member since 2019 · 21 posts · 21 votes
6y
I usually don't like to talk about things I'm doing with others. This has been a big change of mindset for me. I've been telling everyone my investment plans though. I have been pleasantly surprised that no one has been negative about it (including family members who usually are about anything). The few concerns that have been spoken are around bad tenants, but most feedback has been positive and actually helpful in some cases.
1 Reply

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