Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
I know its encouraged here to tell your friends and family your goals with real estate. Tell everyone what you want to do and are looking for. My problem is everytime I do, I constantly have to defend myself and the reasons I am interested in real estate investing. I mostly get ignorant replies from people who have no clue what they're talking about and it just becomes frustrating to even talk to people about real estate investing. Anyone else feel this way?
@Mike Jacovelli while I'm sure that can be discouraging, it might also be a good thing...as long as what you are receiving in genuine concern...People tend to discourage you when they feel like it is protecting you, so maybe spin it around this way:
1) When they voice concerns about the information you're giving them, you can either dismiss it and change the subject (if they are being negative).
2) Do they have any specific concerns that you should actually consider as relevant? If you respect their opinion, hear them out...we learn from others!
3) Have you educated yourself to the point that you can explain it to others? Do you have enough information yourself? Sometimes, that's the problem...if you are unsure, they will be unsure! When you are able to explain your plan to others, and tell them why it will work that will be your turning point!
Remember that some people just want to argue with you, no matter the subject! Chin up, you've got this! Keep saving, learning and planning. Good luck!
People fear what they don’t understand. I get this all the time and it will never stop. Don’t waste your time trying to make people understand what you are doing. Surround yourself with people that you don’t have to explain it to. You will still have those people that you come in contact with that won’t understand what you are doing no matter how much you try to explain it. In those times you are best just to smile and talk about something else. Keep doing you and don’t get caught up or discouraged about what people think!
Most of what little RE network I have is built through buying/selling property. If the person isn't someone you've met in this environment or an involved spouse, why bother talking about it? It's just going to come off as bragging or they're simply not going to understand anything you're talking about. I would never just chit-chat to a friend, colleague or family member not involved in RE, in any serious manner, about RE investment. They don't know the first thing about RE investing, what I've done, the steps involved or the success I've had from it, so why would I pseudo-consult with them knowing that they're less knowledgeable than I am? The only validation I need is a check at closing, which in turn keeps me motivated.
@Mike Jacovelli be confident in your goals and your choices. You can tell people about your goals just continue to be confident and know that there will occasionally be people throwing shade. Kill them with kindness and the best response is massive success!
@Mike Jacovelli tell everyone your RE goals and if they have a negative response then educate them. Always remember when people doubt you and are negative it means you are on the right path which they are blind to! So keep on trucking forward!
@Lauren Juarez what Lauren stated - every goal setting guru out there will tell you that not only writing goals but telling people your goals helps solidify and put your brain in "solution" mode.
@Mike Jacovelli I’ve given this a try and my conclusion is to discuss my goals with like minded individuals. I can only get a little detail in before the interest is gone and that’s understandable, this is my passion not theirs.
In today's BiggerPockets episode (366. 40 Doors in His First 2 Years with Henry Washington), Henry Washington talks about this topic and how announcing his goals changed his mindset and helped him succeed!
@Mike Jacovelli I have experienced the same thing when it comes to sharing my goals with friends and family. That’s why I’m here it’s nice to be around like minded people. Wishing you the very best on your real estate journey.
Always remember that most discouraging comments from family and friends are them passing their own insecurities onto you.
When I bought my 1st duplex it was a **** hole. I had an accepted offer and walked my soon to be father in law and brother in law through the unit. After the walk through they both expressed that I shouldn't buy this place and that it was a lot of work. I informed them I already bought it lol. They agreed I should find a way out of it. I didn't and cash flow $1200/month on this property.
7.5 years later I've bought more properties, cash flowing 5k+/month and will be cash flowing $6500-7k after these new renovations. In 2 years I'll be at $8500-9k passive and become fiscally independent. Don't listen to the naysayers. My same family that doubted me now wish they would have invested with me. Now I tell them my goals and they believe me... keep pushing you'll get there!
@Mike Jacovelli do not let them discourage you. You will receive criticism. I’ve heard it all. Develop a system that works for you and go with it. It’ll pay big dividends!
@Mike Jacovelli one of my last rental purchases was a small 13 unit OLD trailer park. 68- 70 model units. Man the criticism I got for that one! Purchase price was 120000$ it produces 5000 in cash flow.. that’s what I saw no one else could see. Even the owner I bought it from ask me why I wanted it! I saw a potential and a community need. Now it took me a year to get there but its been a pretty good investment. Just do your homework. It’s ok to listen to everything your family has to say but get outside advice form other people with the same interest.
@Mike Jacovelli Hey Mike, I’ve dealt with this a lot since I began my journey and it seems to get worse the more distinguished your interests get. It’s like you want to talk about investing, ideas, etc. cause it’s on your mind but you also struggle with who to relate to about it. Even if someone close to you is supportive, it’s still not an interest of theirs and therefore it’s not relatable to them. Sometimes they can say things that are negative but really if someone has not researched your area of interest then they don’t have enough information on it to give a valid opinion, therefore everything they say will contain a certain degree of ignorance. This is why most entrepreneurs move in silence and don’t talk much about their ventures. Also, talking about what you’re doing puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself to accomplish it. I got to a point where I realized that if I was truly serious about accomplishing something I wouldn’t need accountability, I would just simply do what it takes to make it happen and that would be the end of it.
I don't see why not. I'm also not sure why? I don't usually sneak it into conversation with someone as it can come off as a humblebrag and who likes those! Is your audience (this can be the one person you're talking to, by the way) interested in REI? How will you know if you don't ask? When it comes to parents, I just ran the numbers for them real quick and then shot them some trends in my area to support that it's all going up, in most areas, faster than inflation.
If they're not supportive, they're not supportive; just keep doing it and let the progress and successes inform them like your words can't seem to. I think it's good to talk about your goals and then try to find a group of like-minded folks to help hold you accountable. A lot of my clients tell me that they started too slowly, too late, too expensive, etc... I see it as, 'Well, at least you started!,' but they seem to have regrets about it and I can't just invalidate those by saying that.
All of this to say: tell people or don't tell people, whichever gets you closer to your goals.