Is it really worth it telling people your real estate goals?
Rental Property Investor · Queens, NY · Member since 2019 · 12 posts · 37 votes
I know its encouraged here to tell your friends and family your goals with real estate. Tell everyone what you want to do and are looking for. My problem is everytime I do, I constantly have to defend myself and the reasons I am interested in real estate investing. I mostly get ignorant replies from people who have no clue what they're talking about and it just becomes frustrating to even talk to people about real estate investing. Anyone else feel this way?
@Mike Jacovelli while I'm sure that can be discouraging, it might also be a good thing...as long as what you are receiving in genuine concern...People tend to discourage you when they feel like it is protecting you, so maybe spin it around this way:
1) When they voice concerns about the information you're giving them, you can either dismiss it and change the subject (if they are being negative).
2) Do they have any specific concerns that you should actually consider as relevant? If you respect their opinion, hear them out...we learn from others!
3) Have you educated yourself to the point that you can explain it to others? Do you have enough information yourself? Sometimes, that's the problem...if you are unsure, they will be unsure! When you are able to explain your plan to others, and tell them why it will work that will be your turning point!
Remember that some people just want to argue with you, no matter the subject! Chin up, you've got this! Keep saving, learning and planning. Good luck!
@Mike Jacovelli
It depends on what role these people play in your life. Outside of my spouse, I have 3 childhood friends who are as close as family, but only one shares a passion for investing and putting money to work for you. The other 2 will probably give me a hard time, but the 1 will encourage and ask questions to learn more. I just reached out to him to be a mastermind/accountability partner for all things related to investments because it will help both of us achieve our financial goals going forward.
>I do also think it is part haters hating. Knowing they couldn't do it or are too afraid to try so they do seem salty.
Real estate is popular now and a lot of people are jumping into it hastily, and losing their shirts. You need to listen to the skeptics as well as the cheerleaders. I've been to REIA meetups where people literally stood on their chairs and pumped their fists and yelled "FINANCIAL FREEDOM!!!" Sorry, but this ain't a football game, and that kind of emotional nonsense doesn't help anybody.
I say keep talking about it. When I first became obsessed, I had doubters questioning my goals all the time.
Then once they saw me buying properties and making money and having success I’ve gotten nothing but support. Go figure, haha!
I get similar comments @Account Closed. I don't have a rental property yet, but whenever I tell people I want to invest, their comment is - yeah you want to cheat the system and not pay taxes. Or even worse, don't invest because you will lose all of your money.
Luckily, I don't listen to them :)
I think you need to watch some people you tell because not everyone has the same ambition but it is good to talk about it to people because it will open up doors for future investments and connections
Yeah, I've run into my share of naysayers as well. Some people are just inherently risk-averse, not actually knowledgeable about investing let alone real estate investing, or just too traditional in their lifestyle interests to consider something like house-hacking/landlording/renovating/flipping.
My recommendation is to discuss this people who have a demonstrated interest in trying out different investment vehicles besides 401Ks, IRAs, and pensions. People who mention they are interested in looking into other types of investments will be open-minded enough to discuss REI further and weigh the pros and cons and potential risks rationally without being immediately dismissive.
Wow! Thank you for all the replies. I only expected to get a couple. Haha. But I'm finding from reading all the replies so far, that I'm not wasting my time talking about it to other people as I was beginning to get concerned I was doing. Also I recieved good input on how to end a conversation if I'm speaking with someone who is clueless or ignorant. I don't mind when I have haters hating either because I love a good fight or challenge and they definitely fuel my drive even more! As I once was told if you don't have any haters, then you're not doing anything!
@Mike Jacovelli in my opinion, you should keep your goals between you and those who both understand your goals and motivate you and hold you accountable by assessing your actions. They should know what your end goal is and know you are open to their feedback about your approach and if it is helping you reach your goals or not. Shouting your goals and aspirations to the world does no good.
@Mike Jacovelli
Never take advice from those who haven't done. I am in your shoes. I have been striking up convos with co-workers, family, aquaintences, etc... Always assume to initially receive negative or pessimistic reactions and opinions with little to no substance. Keep at it though, keep them updated (even if they don't ask) and you'll start to notice a little more interest and open mindedness. Keep at it though, don't concern yourself with the negativity that plagues. You need to develop a "definitness of purpose" listen to some Napolean Hill, Earl Nightingale or Les Brown.
"You gotta be hungry!" ~Les Brown~
Good luck my friend!!!
If you have to defend your goals and dreams to those around you, then you are surrounding yourself with the wrong people!
Put your dreams out there, it’s a proven way to get closer to making them come true!
@Mike Jacovelli
Hey Mike! I absolutely love this! My personal take on it, tell as many people as you feel comfortable with.
When I first started thinking about real estate, I told my wife. She rolled her eyes and said “okay dear.” At that point I had nothing to come back with so I decided to educate more so I could verbal judo that response with knowledge.
Next, I told my friend. He wanted in. He was hooked immediately and had been thinking about real estate himself. At this point I had listened to some podcasts and read about real estate online. I had not heard about BiggerPockets yet.
Then, I slyly mentioned it to my brother-in-law and he mentioned BiggerPockets. I began to educate nonstop. I got a Pro membership, bought and read almost every BiggerPockets book, and have listened to about 120 podcasts so far. I attended webinars and met up with another investor.
At this point, I told EVERYONE I could about my thoughts and goals. So many people have gone to verbal judo war with me about the risks, bad tenants, unforeseen property issues, etc. However, I have been well versed enough to battle back with some sort of internal rule I had created in my goals to help mitigate or manage all those issues. If I got nothing to respond with, I educate more!
Every opportunity to talk about real estate creates an internal fire inside me that reinforces my need to invest. Every conversation that brings up a negative leads me to research the validity of it and how to eliminate, mitigate, or plan for.
Since I have gained comfort to talk to everyone about it, I have had several family members, co-workers, friends, and even random people I meet want to get into it. I have gained 2 partners from it and potentially 2-3 more in the future.
All of this came from not being afraid of naysayers or negativity. If I meet a negative person I cannot seem to get through to, first I try to analyze it and find out why, then if I still cannot, then I respectfully move on to a different subject.
Anyway, I know it’s a long reply but I wish you good luck and if you ever want to talk more, let’s connect!
@Mike Jacovelli
Keep communicating with your network, use this format as a litmus test for your ideas and goals. Who knows ‐ maybe someone will have a tip or pointer that saves/makes you more money or helpa you reach a goal.
I agree with you though, there are waaaay too many knuckleheads on this site these days.
@Mike Jacovelli. I used to get that BS. Now I have people tell me they like to watch how I operate. I have my own way of doing things and a pretty good portfolio to back it up. Even my PM told me that. Don’t worry about the Nay sayers. I’ve been told hundreds of times I’m going to go broke or loose everything or something bad. Most of them aren’t laughing at me now tho. RR
@Mike Jacovelli
I would say don’t share it with everyone. I tell my family and friends but not the stupid ones. If I may be blunt. I’ve gotten investors this way that helped a lot. A quick 6 month loan at 5% helps me and it helped them. Everyone was happy. Anyway my point is that you should share it with everyone....that makes sense to share with.
Another thing. I’m an electrician. I run service calls all day and I meet a LOT of people. I tell everyone I can what I’m doing. I’ve gotten a lot of good advice and support just from my customers. Real estate agents, millionaires, brokers, bankers, lawyers, etc. it’s become one of the favorite parts of my day. I 100% stand behind the sharing your goals principle.
@Mike Jacovelli I feel this way all the time and it’s usually because the people we tell don’t know jack **** about real estate so they think it’s impossible for us to reach our goals. It’s also negative energy but I try to feed of that negative energy as in positive energy and tell myself one day I will reach financial freedom first than them
@Mike Jacovelli
Let them say what they want they will come around once they see your accomplishments or they may not. Just keep your goals on mind and keep going. Do not concern yourself with their negative reactions. In everything you do in life there will always be people whom have negative reactions. Use them to fuel your success. I know it is tough to keep getting these reactions, focus on surrounding yourself with people that inspire you and challenge you to move forward.
@Mike Jacovelli I definitely don't love sharing my goals personally.
I'm not saying its right or wrong but I don't like giving myself the satisfaction of talking about stuff I haven't done yet. I prefer to keep it in, and just work at it. If I achieve something I'm happy to share to anyone interested, and tell anyone what I did specifically and how, but not until something is done.
Having said that, I am all for sharing some process-specific stuff or sharing what I do, and what kind of properties I seek. I think it can be very beneficial and I don't get concerned with the majority of people who don't understand, I keep sharing when it makes sense, ultimately understanding that eventually I will come across people I can add value to and vice versa. Because this has happened many times, I'm happy to stick with it.
I think it's just a matter of working on never taking things personal. People say ignorant and frustrating things to me all the time, and I do the same. You can't focus on it. It's just another external variable. Stick to what you can control and work on that. And I especially do not defend myself or even elaborate unless I'm talking with someone I trust, or someone experienced (people who I am regularly seeking feedback from.) Keep in mind we all have selective hearing. No matter if you say 3 words or 300 I'm going to take away what I want from our interaction. The more words you're blabbing while trying to defend yourself the more fuzzy the whole conversation gets, and the more likely your counterpart is completely missing the point you're trying to explain.
Hopefully these 300 words or so aren't too confusing lol
Best,
Ryan
I think it can be. If I tell you my goal is to own a few MFH's in, lets say, Atlanta, and you happen to have property there or know of someone that does, it might lead to me achieving that goal.
@Mike Jacovelli
Let them say what they want they will come around once they see your accomplishments or they may not. Just keep your goals on mind and keep going. Do not concern yourself with their negative reactions. In everything you do in life there will always be people whom have negative reactions. Use them to fuel your success. I know it is tough to keep getting these reactions, focus on surrounding yourself with people that inspire you and challenge you to move forward.
Exactly! I think the go getters and the strong are influenced by the doubt from others, while the weak give in and believe the doubters.
@Mike Jacovelli
I know most people advocate for sharing these goals, but from a psychological perspective there are some cases where it may be better to not share them. Here’s a brief talk about this:
https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare
Writing them down is usually a good idea!
This usually relates to others own insecurities. They're the ones who are afraid to take risk, scared to take a chance, comfortable with settling.
It upsets their own mindset that you have decided to take action to move your life forward.
Others don't want you to get "hurt." They may have good intentions but it has nothing to do with your capabilities.
You have to do what is right for you and push through the noise.
@Grant Cardone writes quite a bit about this in Be Obsessed or Be Average
@Mike Jacovelli
I know the feeling. I’ve been trying to explain it to my girlfriend who already bought a house way before we met. She did it at her fathers request and honestly she hates it. She doesn’t enjoy the responsibility, she pays for everything and even though she bought the house undervalue she has no idea where to begin to fix it up to create a “flip”. She’s been here for a number of years and she ultimately can wait to be a renter again. So needless to say when I explained to her that I want learn to buy and hold a Multifamily home all of her emotions boiled over.
You should remember that all of the horror stories and naysayers are speaking or shooting you down from what their experience or perceived experience about Realestate is. How many of your friends or family actually looked at the Cash on Cash Return of their property before purchase? How many of them bought something thinking they had a good deal, but never did any analysis. Their fear is from their lack of understanding of what you know simply from being in this group.
Switch your mentality and when you hear them put you down, understand 1) they care about you, 2) they’re speaking from their experience and your results will differ greatly based on your application of this education, 3) All successful people go through this. I’m sure when Bill Gates was in a garage tinkering away someone most likely told him to get his head out of the clouds and go find a job.
Don’t stress what others say and just be better than you were yesterday. Someday, maybe a couple years from now, they’ll be singing your high praises, but for now, this is part of that hustle. Shut out the noise, stay on the grind no matter what others say and trust in yourself, the numbers and the system. That’s how I’m getting through it.
Best way to kill a big dream is telling it to small minded people.
Most have experienced this at some point in their life, and regardless of how many people you extract from your life for not having similar goals, interest, passion or intensity you will face this. Limit the exposure by having intentional relationships and removing negative people from your circle but know this comes with the journey.
But yes its worth it! I am evangelical about my investing. So much so that people bring me deals, my passion for it energize those around me to want to do deals, clean up their finances, improve their financial planner etc. Here is an example I am currently living, that proves why its worth telling people.
I met a woman in her sixties back in October 2019. I sold her a medicine cabinet on FB from a flip I was doing. After we did the exchange I informed her I flipped houses, I have a building full of materials if she was looking for other household goods. She asked a few more questions about my flips and the materials had and why I was salvaging materials, because flippers usually do all new, right? Well sorta, but I then shared my vision for incorporating rentals etc. Little did I know she wanted to retire and had 49 units she was looking to offload. Feb 10, 2020 I'm closing the first part of a 49 unit acquisition with her. I'm getting 8 units on that day, with seller financing at 5% for 30 years. I'll close another building of hers in 6 months and so on.
Tell as many people you can as long as you have the consistency to create faith in yourself and others that you will do what you say your going to. The doubt will stop when people have faith in you.