Landlording & Rental Properties

Sued by a Tenant? Here’s How to Resolve It in a Single Conversation

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In the real estate business, sometimes you get sued. Perhaps you screwed up, or perhaps it’s bogus, or perhaps it’s a bit of both.

“A bit of both” is what faced us a few months back, and my brother Phillip, who is our property manager, handled it in his all-but-patented way that turned what could have been a loss of $3,500 (and what would certainly have been a colossal waste of a time) into a win/win situation with one 15 minute conversation.

I believe this story can help illustrate how to deal with tenant relations and other similar situations.

Phillip’s philosophy on handling these problems is heavily influenced by Dale Carnegie’s classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. In the beginning of his book, Carnegie describes “Two Gun” Crowley, a notorious murderer who wrote a letter shortly before he was finally shot by police that read, “Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one – one that would do nobody any harm” (Pg. 22). Indeed, a serial killer seriously believed he “would do nobody any harm.” What do you think the average person thinks about themselves then? Everyone is the hero of their own story; it would be wise to remember that.

How to Get Sued

The whole mess started with our previous manager, who worked very hard, but was extremely disorganized. In September of last year, a tenant of ours at one our older buildings called the emergency line because “sewage was leaking from the ceiling above her.” The plumbing in the upstairs unit broke and while we fixed this quickly, it didn’t exactly leave a good impression.

Then a second, much more minor problem popped up: water was leaking in through her window. This was a small issue, but a cluster of miscommunications and mistakes followed that blew it all out of proportion. Between the beginning of October and the end of November, she called our office three times asking for it to be fixed. We sent our maintenance guy out twice, but both times he couldn’t get in. She had put a chain lock on her door without our permission. In addition, we could barely get ahold of her. Each time we called, it would go to a voicemail that wasn’t set up. So our maintenance guy had trouble scheduling an appointment.

Related: How to Properly Evict a Tenant (and Avoid a Legal Hot Mess!)

Then, our previous manager lost track of the file. In November, our tenant stopped paying rent and we began the eviction. Right before the trial she paid back most of what she owed us. But our experience is that these partial payments this late in the game don’t turn out well, so we continued on with the eviction.

During the trial, she claimed that her mattress and some other property was damaged by the leak. I have no idea if this is true, but she claimed she was withholding rent because of neglected maintenance and therefore didn’t feel like she should have to pay any of the eviction fees. We actually probably would have lost the court case if it wasn’t for one email we sent her that said we tried to come but couldn’t get in because of the lock.

Note to everyone: Keep as good of records as you can and get as much in writing as you can. It comes in handy in situations like these.

Still, there were so many chances to avoid this problem, such as keeping better track of priorities and making sure to get such maintenance orders handled. The big mistake was that after the first two attempts, the whole problem fell to the back burner.

At this point my brother took over property management. One of the first things put on his desk was a lawsuit from our soon-to-be evicted tenant for $3,500, alleging that through negligence, we had caused her a significant loss. Oh, what a wonderful gift our previous manager left my brother with.

How to Get Unsued

After she had been evicted, but before the sheriff had come, my brother had a chance to speak with her. She came into the office sporting a scowl on her face as if to pick a fight and was accompanied by a HUGE man (think Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) who seemed like the type you would want around if such a fight were to take place. All three of them sat down together in what was a bit of an intimidating situation.

OK, now it’s time to take notes.

So my brother didn’t know about the situation with much detail, so he started off as follows,

“I know you’re mad about what happened. I haven’t dealt with this situation so I’m a little in the dark. Please tell me what happened from your point of view.”

Friendly and validating without conceding anything. She explained all of her grievances. In fact, this was the first time Phillip even heard that she claimed to withhold rent because of the maintenance.

Now at this point, my brother could have attacked her reasoning: "We sent out our maintenance guy twice. You wouldn't answer our calls. You put a lock on our door in violation of the lease," etc. Or he could have made it easy for himself and simply said, "Please sue us and make my life a living hell." They're all the same.

Remember, everyone is the hero of their own story. You cannot fight them. As the great negotiating book Getting to Yes puts it, “Separate the people from the problem” (pg. 10). What good would have it been to tell “Two Gun” Crowley he was a monster when he believed he “would do nobody any harm?” Instead, one must get on the other person’s team to make tenant relations work.

This is THE KEY to tenant relations:

You are always on their team.

You are always the good guy.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s a bad guy as well. That bad guy is the lease, the owner, the law, fair housing, whatever. But it’s not you. You’re on their team. You’re the good guy.

In this instance, “the past” was the enemy. “I can’t change the past, so we should find the best way to move forward.” Then her concerns and fears started coming out: she didn’t have much money, she didn’t have a new place to live and it was hard to find one with an eviction on her record.

Always listen to what the other person is actually after. It may not be what you thought originally. In this case, her supposedly damaged property was not among her concerns.

After learning what was bothering her, Phillip responded,

“OK, well it looks like what you really want to do is move on and find a new quality place to live, and I think I can help you come up with the best solution for your situation.”

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The first part verifies you are on the same page. The second line is key, and Phillip uses it all of the time. It puts him on their team while managing expectations. We’re talking about the best solution available, not what you are demanding. He continued,

“You can continue to sue us, that’s an option. I think it would be better to try and work something out, though.”

She held plenty of responsibility for what happened, but she also had the right to be upset. To say that suing us was a stupid idea is to call her stupid, no matter what euphemism you use. What this line did was validate her opinion, but it also shifted the discussion toward a more amicable solution.

Related: 3 Fundamental Tips for Protecting Yourself Legally as a Real Estate Investor

My brother then offered to pay her back her deposit, write a letter for future landlords explaining the situation and open up the court case to satisfy the judgement and get the eviction off her record. In this case, the deposit was a mere $350. Nothing but a token compared to the costs in time and money to prepare for the trial, not to mention the possibility of losing it. And for her, she got what she needed without having to wait for a court case she probably would have lost anyway. A win/win.


By this time, the scowl had been wiped off her face, and she was actually smiling and quite excited. After all, she and her teammate had just come up with a satisfactory solution to her problem. She then enthusiastically asked,

“Do you have anything for rent right now? You know, I would even be OK staying in my current apartment!”

Phillip decided the best thing to do was for both parties to move on. He’s probably right, but I almost wish he didn’t. The story just sounds all the better if he had convinced someone who’s suing us to drop the suit and then sign a rental lease with us in the period of 15 minutes. Oh well.

What strategies do you take when tenant relations start to go south? What’s worked best for you in the past?

Leave your tips, comments and stories below!

Andrew Syrios has been investing in real estate for over a decade and is a partner with Stewardship Investments, LLC along with his brother Phillip and father Bill. Stewardship Investments focuses on the BRRRR strategy—buying, rehabbing and renting out houses and apartments throughout the Kansas City area. Today, they have over 300 properties and just under 500 units. Stewardship Properties on the whole has just under 1,000 units in six states. Andrew received a Bachelor's degree in Business Administration from the University of Oregon with honors and his Masters in Entrepreneurial Real Estate from the University of Missouri in Kansas City. He has also obtained his CCIM designation (Certified Commercial Investment Member). Andrew has been a writer for BiggerPockets on real estate and business management since 2015. He has also contributed to Think Realty Magazine, REI Club, Elite Daily, Thought Catalog, The Data Driven Investor and Alley Watch.
    Andy Gross from Baltimore, Maryland
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    This is a great article. I am an attorney myself, and as much as I enjoy making money, I really enjoy problems getting solved. Sometimes, a face to face meeting, being receptive instead of defensive, validating the other person’s point, and working to identify the actual problem to solve can save a ton of aggravation and money in the long run. If you are looking for some sort of moral victory in court, that’s all well and good, but how much are you willing to pay in time and money? Lawyers don’t work for free. That’s why cash for keys can, in certain circumstances, be a great option. Often the tenant will settle for an amount that wouldn’t even pay for an hour of an attorney’s time. Don’t look for pyrrhic victories. This is a business.
    Andrew Syrios Residential Real Estate Investor from Kansas City, MO
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    A pyrrhic victory is a great way to put it!
    Brian Gibbons Investor from Sherman Oaks, CA
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    I love this! Cash for keys from a tenant that wont cant pay getting to yes, and ANYTHING by Roger Dawson empathizing with an angry person, meeting in the middle, avoiding court costs, can’t cash a judgement of the court in the bank creating good will for the future (what the tenant says about you) This is in the spirit of property being in a land trust and you are merely the manager, but “the trustee” wants to raise the rent 100 bucks, “What if, and I dont really know I can do it, but what if I can get the trustee to settle for $75 increase, would that sound good to you? Now you are not the bad guy! Nice job Andrew!
    Andrew Syrios Residential Real Estate Investor from Kansas City, MO
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    You’re definitely right. Indeed, that’s one of the reasons our dad named our company Stewardship Properties; that we are to be a good steward to that which is entrusted to us.
    Daniel Ryu Investor from Irvine, CA
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Your brother is a wise man. Is he a full time PM or just helping you out?
    Andrew Syrios Residential Real Estate Investor from Kansas City, MO
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    A wise man he is, and yes he is our property manager in KC.
    Cydni Anderson Real Estate Agent from Long Beach, California
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    This is a fantastic article, I really enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to write it!
    Daniel Mohnkern Investor from Titusville, Pennsylvania
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Very good points. “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is one of my favorite books. Using the techniques from that book has helped me in my dealings with people more times than I can count. Thanks for the helpful blog. Nicely written.
    George Kellman Wholesaler from Palm Bay, Florida
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great article. There is much to be learned from this. Identify the issue, isolate the issue and solve with compassion. I will be following your posts from now on. – Aloha
    Walker Hinshaw from Denver, Colorado
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Hi Andrew, thanks for the reminder that sometimes taking the time to really listen to your tenants can make a huge difference. When people are down on their luck they may feel like their only option is to fight back. Once you give them an easy out it can be surprising how many people take it.
    Jeff Rabinowitz Investor/Landlord from Farmington Hills, Michigan
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    I agree, the story would have been better if she signed a new lease but it is a very good story nonetheless and it was probably best to part company on the good terms that were reestablished.
    Tracy D. Investor from Neptune Beach, Florida
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    I agree with what he did. Once I hear the word lawyer from a tenant, their lease expires at the end of the term to be non-renewed. I also do not rent to any tenant who has ever previously sued anyone. I actually check all this first before I will rent to anyone.
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great idea, Tracy. How are you able to verify whether or not they’ve initiated any lawsuits?
    Tracy D. Investor from Neptune Beach, Florida
    Replied over 5 years ago
    Here in my county everything is posted online that is filed in court here on the city’s website for court documents. I realize all cities do not do this but it is easy for me to do here locally.
    Ralph Pena Rental Property Investor from philadelphia, PA
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Definitely a good story. This sounds like the route I usually like to take. But I know a few people who enjoy going head to head with people. No matter what the cost.
    Neil Schoepp Real Estate Investor from Milford, PA
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great article. I really like the concepts in Carnegies book. I am more of the hard nose type and I am trying to become more diplomatic. It’s great to hear real life stories of those principles at work. I also like your comment about your Dad naming the company. I will keep that point in mind when I create my mission statement.
    Wes Eaves Real Estate Broker from Brandon, FL
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great article and perspective! It’s always a good idea to step back and figure out an easier solution. Of course, sometimes easier said than done.
    Andrew Cordle from Alpharetta, Georgia
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great post! Thanks for the info!
    Jonna Weber Real Estate Agent from Boise, ID
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    What a tremendous outcome. This is really good information – thank you!
    Frankie Woods Investor from Arlington, Virginia
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    This was great! Thank you for sharing!
    David Roberson, Esq.
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Nice Article. I’ve always lived by the motto to meet and discuss issues face to face with tenants. I’ve always told my tenants about my obligations, and I’ve always provided them with a hard copy of the California Tenant’s Guide so they have the law – and their rights – in their hands. I also include the CA Tenant’s Guide on my website. I truly believe this is the best practice for professional property managers. David Roberson, Esq.
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    I asked my tenant to clean things up around his place. He said “I’ll get it cleaned up for you”. I said, “no, get it cleaned up for you, you’ll like it better and your neighbors will too!” He stopped, thought about it a minute and has since kept the place looking great!
    Phillip Syrios Investor from Kansas City, Missouri
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    In case anyone is curious, yes this is a true story and if you want any more info or want to ask any questions about it just message me and I would be happy to answer them.
    Kevin Yeats Lender from Fort Pierce, Florida
    Replied over 5 years ago
    WOW …. nicely handled.