How can I convince my partner to get real estate

Question

I have been interested in real estate for many years. My problem is, my partner is not. To be honest, she does not like the idea of it at all. This year we decided we would look to buy a property as we had saved up enough money plus more left in the bank for savings, but throughout the whole process we were always butting heads whether we should even to it or not.

I asked her to take some time to think about if she really wants to do it, as there was not much point moving forward if we (she) were not 100% committed. Now she has came back to say she does not want to do it (for now) and I need to respect this decision. What I would like to is to provide her with a good book / podcast or otherwise, to inspire her.

The problem is - That standard arguments don't work. She is not money orientated at all, she is more towards being a hippy. Therefore financial freedom and future financial security do not mean anything to her.  She says she thinks she would want to do it one day, but just now she is not ready.

Any advice..?

Bruce Woodruff · Answer

She won't like Dave. He is pretty traditional and conservative. Instant turn-off for an airy fairy hippie chick.....

Kevin Sobilo · Answer

@Asher Richardson, my advice is that YOU do it and SHE doesn't! Just because she is your partner in life doesn't mean she has to be your partner in business.

If she wanted to start a hippy store would she be allowed to do so and run her own business without you being her partner running it? I think in many couple's cases the answer would be yes.

Tell her you want to start a business and that you want to take some seed money to get started. Start a single member LLC in your name, and guarantee any debt in your name. Run it as a business and when you can start taking some cash-flow/profits for yourself show her and let her share the benefits.

Beyond talking to her about seed money, you really don't need anything from her directly.

Jaron Walling · Answer

@Asher Richardson Are you guys married? There are many goals in life and financial freedom and security is just one of them. Your partner obviously holds that goal to lower a standard than yourself. What I'd do is lead by example or make it "her idea" that this investment is a wise choice. That's easy to type into a forum and harder in real life but it's not impossible. Everyone has interests and something that fires them up! Maybe it's not REI (yet) but it's could be in the future.

Best case you start listening to the podcasts or some Dave Ramsey. He is pro real estate. The majority of what they preach is good information and helpful to the mass consumer. Once you BOTH BUILD some financial I.Q, Papa Dave becomes less valuable. Maybe your partner has never even heard of him. I know you can't force feed investing onto people. My fiancé is slooowwwly getting into all this real estate stuff. We work on home improvement projects together and we enjoy the relationship building aspect of it.

Nicholas L. · Answer

@Asher Richardson lots of upvotes to the post by Account Closed

Whenever I see this question, as he alluded to, I always wonder if the poster is asking from a place of financial strength.  Do you own or rent a primary?  When you said you would "look to buy," was it on a primary, or an investment?  If you bought a rental, would it jeopardize the purchase of a primary?  How much debt do you have?  Do you both have secure jobs in your area?  Would you move to invest?  Would you move for a job?  When you say you have "more left in the bank for savings," is it... $500?  12 months of living expenses?  Enough to have reserves on a rental, PLUS a down payment on a property, PLUS living expenses?

Nicholas L. · Answer

@Asher Richardson this is all very personal to you and your spouse, and so no one can really tell you what to do here.  I'll make one more comment - you seem to be talking in abstracts here ("more freedom").  Have you run any numbers?  Run some numbers.  Create a few scenarios - buying a primary first then a rental, a rental then a primary.  Waiting 2 years then buying.  Etc.  Maybe you'll surprise yourself.

Also - waiting 5 years is not a long time.  It just feels like it because you're on BP, and everyone else is investing - because this is a forum for investors - but if you spend that 5 years learning and saving, you'll be ahead of the pack.  Good luck.

Bernard B. · Answer

@Kevin Sobilo, @ Asher Richardson,  you guys are are straight out of my own heart ( see my comment about advice to my younger self in a different post). Sometimes, you have to be selfish and go after your goals. It is no guarantee that you will succeed in real estate investing. Do your homework, present books, videos, case histories to your spouse/partner and show them the benefits of real estate investing and request their support. If they refuse, as stated earlier by Mr. Kevin Sobilo, you have a right to pursue your goals and dreams , don't let anyone squash them, it can be up to you to succeed or fail. Ideally, you both could work together to achieve goals in the real estate game, but if not, you do your investing the best that you can ( hopefully, it will grow) and let her do her non -investing/self discovery on her own. One thing is guranteed, if you never try at something, you can't count it as being successful at it.

Bruce Woodruff · Answer

@Asher Richardson Good thing you guys are only partners so far. You are right, getting into RE is the best way to financial security and better for regular guys. So she is not into RE, but if she is a good partner, she should not mind if you were to get into it, right? As a matter of fact, she should support you in the pursuit of your dreams and goals.

So move ahead with your plan to buy a piece of property and see what she does. She either support syou or tries to shoot you down. A partner who would not at least support another is no good partner at all and you may get an early warning sign.

Once again, don't ask her permission or help, just ask for moral support. And when you do buy something, do NOT put any part of it in her name.......just have this be all about you.

Account Closed · Answer

Want to convince her? show her a viable business plan. Show her on paper the deal you are proposing, how it will profit based off more than just "future appreciation", and do this with conservative underwriting. You might be surprised how money oriented she can be if you show her an actual, viable path with dollars and a timeline. A book or podcast without a viable, well-vetted deal is no legitimate substitute.

If you can't do that, then she might be right. Probably save you potential serious financial grief as well.

Joe S. · Answer

If you and your live in are not serious enough about each other to get married what’s it matter anyways? Just saying…

Evan Polaski · Answer

@Asher Richardson, if money is not a motivating factor, then focus on her other goals.  She wants freedom, well how does owning a rental that makes you money each month sound to her.  Hiking the Inca trail without worrying about having the time off from work, or backpacking across Europe for 2 months, all while your bank account keeps growing.

But you also have to remember that real estate is not the only path the to financial freedom.  I know investors with 8 figure and more net worth that have no real estate in their portfolio.  Many hedge fund managers are extremely wealthy and didn't make their money in real estate.  Real estate is one of many routes to creating financial freedom.  You want cash flow and the possibility of appreciation: https://www.fool.com/investing...

How can I convince my partner to get real estate

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