How to develop relationship with future mentor - who's a stranger

Question

I read in the "Ultimate beginner's guide" that in order to have a REI mentor in your local area, you must develop a relationship with them first.  I've found one person who fits my area of interest, but we're complete strangers to each other.

Is going out for lunch or coffee really enough time to build the relationship?  Or is the lunch just supposed to act as an introduction and plan for future meetings?

Roland Thomas · Answer

Account Closed

A mentor and mentee relationship is based on trust. I trust they know what they are talking about because they have "fruit on the tree". My mentor stay on the other side of US and I live in Houston. The key is he has a business model and knowledge I desire, additionally he is successful at what he does.

A couple of things I do to be a a good mentee:

• I'm on time when we meet via the internet or in person
• I do the actionable items we discuss
• I do my own research and present questions
• I do not waste their time
• I remain respectful
• I take their advice by faith

I could go on and on, but it is great you have found a mentor, bottom line be respectful of their time and do what they say by faith and you be off to great start of building trust

Ned Carey · Answer

@Clayton Rokosh it depends. You have no idea what this person expects. How fast do they like to move? Do they have time now? Will they have time later? Are they interested at all? What is their degree of interest?

Those questions are probably not ones you would ask directly but you should get some of the answers by how the the conversation goes.

Think of it like dating. If you were looking for a wife, you would probably not ask on the first date "are you interested in getting married?" But you would probably have a good idea if she is interested in a second date.

Account Closed · Answer

@Ned Carey

Excellent blog post, it REALLY helped me a lot!  I'm not sure when you posted this blog post, but it's almost like you predicted exactly what my perspective would be in regards to mentors.  I was going about this all wrong.  Here I was only focused on placing a responsibility on a more experienced investor and completely forgot that it's just like any other relationship.  I provide value to them, and they provide value to me, simple!  Now I just need to figure out what value can I provide to a experienced investor, it will come in time!

@Teresa F.

Thanks for reminding me that it's still too early for me to find...partnerships?  I'm not sure what to call mentorships now because the mentor aspect isn't important anymore, but before I search for "partnerships", I still need to learn and understand the terminology and concepts of REI.  Otherwise I won't be able to provide them any value at all!

@Nick Britton

Thanks for giving me an idea of what's it like on the other side.  It's a good reminder that if I want someone's help, I MUST show that I'm serious about learning and respecting their time.  I see that your partner @Joe Calderon is in this thread with you.  It's interesting to see both perspectives of this relationship.

Teresa F. · Answer

Hi Clayton --  I have had the privilege to serve in both capacities.  When mentoring folks, I can't begin to tell you how many newbies I've met who were excited about investing and wanted to "go, go, go" yet when I said go figure out what the MAO (Maximum Allowable Offer) on x property is and come back and tell me, I get crickets.   My logic here is REI can be very expensive, especially if you do not take time to educate yourself and nail down the basics.

Any more experienced investor (and even less experienced but focusing in a different area) can be a potential mentor for me.  Sometimes we just trade ideas, but any nugget my mentors offer I am grateful and take action.  I let them know I'm appreciative in a variety of way, generally by saying thank you.  Sometimes it's just sending them a check out of the blue.  Sometimes it's taking something they are working on and trying to improve on it and many times it bringing them business.

Hope that helps.  Teresa

Ned Carey · Answer

@Clayton Rokosh  You don't even need to ask someone to be your mentor. A mentor doesn't necessarily even know or think of themselves as your mentor.  Asking for someone to be a mentor, implies a responsibility on their part. You can simply ask "hey if I have some questions from time to time can I give you a call?

Here is a blog post I wrote about how to find a mentor

Account Closed · Answer

@Roland Thomas

Insightful answer!  What do you mean by "actionable items"?  Is it like, the mentee and mentor discuss plans of action that the mentee can do till their next meeting?

@Ned Carey

Developing a mentor-ship is exactly like trying to find a marriage partner, so true!

This is my understanding what I should do next...

1st: I have to approach them and ask whether or not they're even interested in been my mentor, in a polite, respectful way.

2nd:  if there's enough interest, figure out if they have time now and in the future.

The other details will follow suit during and after the meeting.

Joe Calderon · Answer

Yes, the first meeting between you is supposed to "act as an introduction and plan for future meetings" to see if you are in accordance with what the mentor expects of you and what you expect of the mentor. It's a vocal contract of sorts, but can be written.

How to develop relationship with future mentor - who's a stranger

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