Springfield, MO · Member since 2017 · 158 posts · 114 votes
Just curious how many of my BP family has experienced negative pushback from family members when you discuss your real estate goals with them? I remember watching one of the webinars recently where they talked about telling everyone you knew your goals. Well pretty much everyone I've talked to thinks it's a bad idea. "You'd be crazy to waste your money like that" is just one of the responses I've gotten.
"Don't take advice from anyone you wouldn't trade shoes with"
Don't worry about them, you will get A LOT of negative feedback, being scared about the "what if" scenarios, whereas if you have a business plan-- trust it and move forward! If you think you can do it, and logically it makes sense-- do it!
Don't let naysayers bother you, those type of people live off fear. We currently have 5 properties, and one of my friends said "OMG, what if all 5 HVACs went out at 1 time, you'd be broke!" stuff like that, totally normal for simple minded people.. whereas if you run it like a business, it's all part of the plan.
@Gallagher Wilson i won't ever fully cut out my family. I will however choose when and how I talk to them about my investing future! Thank you for the response!
There are sheep and shepherds. You chose to be a shepherd. Perhaps tell them you understand and are thankful for the sheep or you would not have a flock to tend to in the first place.
There is not enough time in the day to give thought to naysayers. Figure out where you want to go, surround yourself with people that have gone there(ish), and start taking action.
I still tell people my goals, what I do etc. Sometimes I just simply say "I renovate houses" and let their imagination make sense of it.
Use it as fuel to make your passions a reality. Something funny happens when you mix anger with love for your craft. That creates passion, and passion can't be stopped.
I think the advice so far has been excellent. I'm curious though what exactly you told them you "would be spending your money on". Money is not spent ON real estate, it's invested, at least in most situations. Yes there are people who lose money on deals, but what is you plan to get involved in the industy? Are you buying and holding, fixing and flipping or something else. I'll be honest most of my friends and family are jealous when I tell them about my current project or when I collect my rent checks or when I come home from a settlement on a flip. I've learned it's easier to show people than to tell people about what can be done in this business. Just show them, then they won't be naysayers they'll start asking how they can get involved.
@William C. I was speaking with a few family members about investing in real estate. Telling them that my girlfriend and I planned to start purchasing houses and putting tenants in them to create cash flow. I believe a lot of the negativity came from their thought process that I would be investing in our small home town of 3k people. When in actuality we plan to invest about an hour away from the home town.
@Travis Dawson "They caution you because they love you. They aren't trying to hold you back." I whole heartedly disagree with that statement. I have personal real life examples that are contrary to that, and so does Tony Robbins, Donald Trump, Dan Pena and many others would disagree with that as well. However, for you, I very happy you have family and friends that care that much that you feel that way. I can only imagine it, and I envy you in a way.
@Brian Corcodilos "Use it as fuel to make your passions a reality. Something funny happens when you mix anger with love for your craft. That creates passion, and passion can't be stopped."
Damn Straight! Philly boy speaking the Gods honest truth right there. That's how we do it.
@Jessie Nunley Damn dude, I think this is the highest trending topic on BP ever. Your question definitely struck a nerve with a lot of people whether they like to admit it or not, but this is something we all have gone through to some degree or another. Thank you for originally posting it, I kept that story inside me for a long time, felt good to share it.
I get negativity from my sister. She's a school teacher therefore her focus has always been to get an education and a stable job. She thinks what I do is "risky" but I think her way is financial suicide. She plans on saving in a 401K and living off that money until she dies. Hope she doesn't plan on living too long! Our money is a fiat currency that is not a store of value, it's only a medium of exchange. Saying you're going to save a pile of money, and then live off of that forever is like storing water in a bucket that has a hole at the bottom. How long is that water going to last? Inflation is draining it from the bottom, and at the same time you are drinking it from the top. And this is "financial responsibility?" My generation is so screwed it's not even funny.
But this is what people like my sister teach our young people to do.
Step 1. Immediately get into 10's of thousands in student loan debt.
Step 2. Climb the corporate ladder and give half your money to the government.
Step 3. Buy a house...it's an asset right?
Step 4. Save money in a 401K so that when you retire you'll have enough to eat ramen noodles while you watch daytime T.V....cause you definitely aren't going to have enough to go on that cruise to the Bahamas.
Step 5. Sell your "asset" back to the bank on a reverse mortgage so that you can keep eating ramen when the 401K runs dry.
Step 6. Die, leaving nothing but a bill for your kids.
And my sister says I'm the one taking chances. I'll take my chances thank you very much.
Sorry for the rant this thread got me fired up.
Jessie Nunley
I had a similar situation when I joined the Marine Corps. Peers and some friends were always like "well what if you get shot"?
There will always be that group of people who are happy just floating along and not reaching for the stars. If you want something go out and get it! Don't let family and friends hold you back. If that's the case maybe you ought to find a new group of people to hang around with.
They say you are who you hang around with and I completely agree.
If you associate yourself with a bunch of lazy couch potatoes then you will most likely follow suit. On the flip side if you hang with people who wake up at 5am, hit the gym, and bust their butt following their dreams, I'd say you stand a better chance at finding success.
Long story short: invest in RE!
My wife is hot and then she's cold. One minute she is all about my endeavors and then the next day she is completely the opposite. She is the typical person that resist change, she is terrified of it, it's too much of a risk in her eyes.....so as as result she has been working the same dead end job for 15 years now.
I am hell bent on improving my family's life despite her constant fluctuation. -trust me it can be difficult.
Don't give up and keep at it is what I keep telling myself.
This can be very difficult, especially when the people you are telling are close friends and family and you are constantly surrounded by them. All I can say is that if you believe in yourself you will continue to go after your goals. It's also hard to just rid yourself of those close people that are negative but what I've done is find new people that had similar goals and beliefs and allow their opinions to push me along and at least balance the positive and negative.
@Jessie Nunley Damn dude, I think this is the highest trending topic on BP ever. Your question definitely struck a nerve with a lot of people whether they like to admit it or not, but this is something we all have gone through to some degree or another. Thank you for originally posting it, I kept that story inside me for a long time, felt good to share it.
Thanks man! I received a notification this morning saying it has over 1500 views!
@Account Closed Your sisters story sounds very similar to the story of Rich Dad Poor Dad. If you haven't read the book yet I highly encourage you to do so. Changed my perspective on a lot of things.
@Jonathan Jaime Velarde I too had a similar situation when I joined the Air Force! Hope all is well with you wherever you are stationed buddy! Thanks for the response!
@Zachary Clevenger my girlfriend was initially very skeptical of my desires to invest in real estate. I spend time educating her on my goals and including her in them. Thanks for the response!
@Jessie Nunley clear communication can be the key to getting support. Just explain to them where you are investing, and why. We rent in a college town in a well populated area so the demand is far greater than the supply. Iv have almost 10 years experience in that rental market so I can give them data to back up my plan, and then more importantly we rent within days of listing it for top market value and prove the data to be correct. Brandon says it perfect in one of the podcasts I just listened to but of course everyone talks about the horror stories and the weird tenants at the cocktail party, they are fun and entertaining to talk about. They don't realize the other 364 days of the year are quiet and boring.
I get negativity from my sister. She's a school teacher therefore her focus has always been to get an education and a stable job. She thinks what I do is "risky" but I think her way is financial suicide. She plans on saving in a 401K and living off that money until she dies. Hope she doesn't plan on living too long! Our money is a fiat currency that is not a store of value, it's only a medium of exchange. Saying you're going to save a pile of money, and then live off of that forever is like storing water in a bucket that has a hole at the bottom. How long is that water going to last? Inflation is draining it from the bottom, and at the same time you are drinking it from the top. And this is "financial responsibility?" My generation is so screwed it's not even funny.
But this is what people like my sister teach our young people to do.
Step 1. Immediately get into 10's of thousands in student loan debt.
Step 2. Climb the corporate ladder and give half your money to the government.
Step 3. Buy a house...it's an asset right?
Step 4. Save money in a 401K so that when you retire you'll have enough to eat ramen noodles while you watch daytime T.V....cause you definitely aren't going to have enough to go on that cruise to the Bahamas.
Step 5. Sell your "asset" back to the bank on a reverse mortgage so that you can keep eating ramen when the 401K runs dry.
Step 6. Die, leaving nothing but a bill for your kids.
And my sister says I'm the one taking chances. I'll take my chances thank you very much.
Sorry for the rant this thread got me fired up.
I hear ya about our schools teaching kids that getting an education (at any cost) to get a good job being the only way to go.
My high schooler just took 'Personal Finance'. The final was a computer simulation that put him in the 'real world' as a broke recent HS grad. Options were to go to college on loans, buy a car on a loan and rent an apt OR get a crummy job while getting the car loan and apartment and only earn $10/hr for the rest of his life.
Every month his net worth was tracked and all student 'scores' were posted online. The only students that earned serious net worth were the ones that became docs with hundreds of thousands in student loans. There was no option to start a business or invest for yourself.
Go to college and rack up at least $100k in college debt OR be a deadbeat service worker forever. Those were the options. A third of his grade was based on this net worth simulation. No wonder 'the norm' is to assume we investors are crazy with risk. Poor dad is teaching our students!
My son knows more about 'personal finance' than any of the other kids I am sure. He has mutual funds funded by apt buildings he's been a part owner of since he was 4. He has savings and no debt. He got a C- in the class and was very put off by the whole process. Nobody understands he says. He has the right idea!