Good resources to get spouse on board with REI

11 Replies

I'm new to REI and I'm ready to get my feet wet. However, my wife is not totally on board. She has concerns investing out of state as well as other concerns. I have a major advantage as I can read/listen to books or podcasts for at least 6 hours per day. I believe she is skeptical because of lack of knowledge and education. I need this to be a team effort and really want to work with her. I'd like to know if anyone has any articles, blogs, or any other resources that can lay out the basics of the business. Thanks!!

@James Peluso how far out of state are you looking to invest? I've been investing for 3 years, listen to every BP podcast, and try to read at least one business- or REI-related book a month; you still couldn't convince me to become an OOS LL. She'd probably be much more pliable if you were looking at something in a market she knows well.

Well James

I don’t have much in the way of advise but I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one with this problem. 

I think it’s unreasonable to want to include my wife on any important spending decisions. Our income is joint and both of us earn it.

Ultimately I must feel very confident that an investment will work because I’m the main player in working the program. However it will always be me who takes the hit for any losses in the blame game...and that’s not a comfortable place to be.

Let me know how it works for you

Best wishes, Ron

@James Peluso it isn't an education thing but more of a comfort level thing. Perhaps if you suggest an in state investment first she will be more open to that and you can build from there. It doesn't have to always be the optimal mathematical return. Also you are really deep in the weeds on this and I'm not sure how you brought it up; but imagine for a second that she told you she wanted to open a restaurant and do it out of state, how would you feel on the first conversation?


@Nicole Heasley  It’s nearly impossible for me to invest in my area as I’m in NJ. I listen to 10-20 BP podcasts per week and listen to at least 2 real estate audiobooks per week. I’m also looking for places to move once I get my kids through our high school. Ideally, we would have a couple buy and hold in place, then house hack once we move. Looking at Milwaukee, NH, and open to other places as well. 

@Aaron K.

You are 100% correct. It is a comfort level. With education and understanding of how anything works, comes decreased risk. A decreased level of risk can bring greater comfort in my opinion. You make a great point regarding the restaurant. That is part of the feedback I’m looking for  

Right now we are for apart on REI. She doesn't keep me around because I'm a great communicator. BP forums are great, that's why I'm hoping for a blog or link that I can give her to bridge the gap.

Thanks @Ron Brown

@James Peluso

I invest locally here in Maine for myself . Lewiston auburn area, has heated up , but still has great cashflow. Probably c class, tenants are work, properties are old, but cheap and high cash flow

Now as for spouse. My fiancé backed out last minute of my last deal. She wanted to forever, but was nervous. And fear got the best of her, and she said now she wants to self educate more so next time she’s comfortable. Biggest thing is I’m

Not pressuring or forcing her. She doesn’t have to do what I do, I just know she’d be a massive asset but she’s got to see that first.

I suggest maybe finding out what you and your spouse future goals are. Do you want financial freedom? Do you want to own 3 large vacation homes, do you want to live in a tiny house with 200k in the bank ? Whatever you and her want your future to be like REI is literally the most proven way to actually get there, and quickly. Literally since the dawn of civilization. Maybe see if you can get her to read something like rich dad poor dad, or richest man in Babylon. Find out what she's afraid of with rentals, educate her on how you can avoid the problems

She’s afraid of. Message me if you ever want any help

Hi James, definitely important to make sure you have a dedicated team in place if you decide to set your sights on investing out of state. She's not 100% incorrect in her concerns as it is a big undertaking (especially if you're just getting started). That said, there are some tools available to you where you can bring a certain level of automation to that rental management process (ie. automatically syndicating a single listing to 10+ major listing sites, thorough tenant screening with full background checks, digital lease creation, automated online rent collection, and maintenance tracking). Let me know if you have any other questions, as this could be a good route to go if you are going to get into out of state REI. @James Peluso

You are on the right track! Getting your spouse on board is critical; I am working with so many new investors and I can tell you it's a key piece and without your significant other's support it will not happen!

That being said, I find it very typical that one is the driver and the other one is more passive and that's okay. And it's not always the guy who is the driver!

Podcasts are great, video's too, but make sure you "feed" her the good stuff in small portions, otherwise she will not pay attention. If someone is not passionate about something, they don't want to listen to it for 6 hours. Just the highlights.

And go to meet-ups and events. Nothing is better than beeing in a room with 300 people that all believe the same thing - and have done it. I am not a fan of guru seminars, but I went to a RichDad Education weekeend seminar about 11 years ago, and the guys definitley put up a frantastic show to get you excited. Just don't sign up for the $10,000 courses at the end lol

If her concerns are reasonable, then she's a valuable asset to the team, thinking critically and pointing out potential issues you may not have thought about so you'll have solutions ready if they arise.  Do your best to research and answer them if you're the one who is most interested in proceeding.  If you're finding sufficient answers but she's not listening, then that's a different issue.  

We found that actually writing and agreeing to a business plan, starting with long-term goals, short-term goals, basic steps to reach both, etc., helped immensely.  Basically, I wrote it, then we discussed together and altered it to make it more agreeable to my husband, who wasn't as interested in moving forward, so it was much more conservative.  We also found out reality doesn't exactly follow the business plan -- investor loan requirements tightened, higher down payments, a bad first choice of property management -- but it did give us a great road map and the confidence to move forward, and keeping our agreed-upon goals as our guide helped make decisions that kept us moving in the right direction.