Getting engaged after purchasing primary residence

15 Replies

Hi there, I just closed a week ago on a primary residence that is my first home purchase.  It is a 4-unit building and I was planning to live in one of those units (per the mortgage contract, I need to move in within 60 days and live there for 1 year).  I have provided notice to evict one of the units and move in.

Now, my boyfriend and I are discussing getting engaged, and if we do, we would like to rent a place closer to where we both work.  Should I, and do I need to, write a letter to the bank to request permission to live elsewhere and rent out all the units in the building I just purchased?

This is obviously an FHA loan and FHA guidelines mandate you living in one of the units. FHA is a government subsidized loan, so its not just the bank that is mandating you, its the US government as well. If you don't, its considered fraud and there are serious penalties for that. Since you have already closed, your 2 options are to 1) move into one of the units and figure out you career later or 2) Put the house back on the market. Sorry, that's just how it is. You should have read and fully understood the severity of the loan.

You signed a legal binding contract that can not be ignored simply due to a personal decision where by you now do not wish to live in the building. Your discussion regarding get engaged is frivolous and irrelevant in regards to where you choose to live. Nothing has changed in your life that would necessitate not living in the pproperty.

You just closed a week ago so I find it odd that just now you are discussing engagement and living together. If the relationship is serious I would think before purchasing a multi family you would of discussed it with him.

Anyways now that you own it the best financial decision would be for the both of you to just commute farther than you would prefer to and live in one of the units as you had planned to. Then after a year you could both move out and find something closer to your employers and rent out the unit you were living in.

The only other option is to put it back on the market immediately and sell it. You will lose a lot of money doing that though so that is why I would suggest just moving in as planned and sticking it out for a year. Since it was your initial plan I am assuming it is within reasonable driving distance to work.

What if people get married who each have a primary residence? They can't move in together?

Originally posted by @Monica P. :

What if people get married who each have a primary residence? They can't move in together?

 You cant get an exception to an event that did not happen yet .

FHA is binding for a year. You'll have to move in or put it back up for sale.
I would also think that you can leave it empty, with your address on it and stay there once a week, etc. So technically you will be living there and not collecting rent. Have your finance rent a place and stay with him six nights a week if the terms of his mortgage or rental lease allow it. You will be maintaining your place as your primary residence. After a year, you can then rent it out. Double check with your lender but I believe you can do this, or something similiar in nature.

@Monica P. ,

You have to legally live there, since it's an owner occupied loan for 1 year.    

I would tell him you legally have to live there now, and he can come move in with you.   Don't be silly and sell the place or move closer to work for him.. build your portfolio up,  it's 1 year... and i'm sure you did all your research before.. move on in, and in 1 year, then you guys can discuss options.

@Monica P.

Congrats!!! (On both your 4-plex AND engagement!!) This is such a great opportunity and a  GREAT potential wealth building asset. 

I just bought my first home in May 2017, using an FHA loan. So yes, we are stuck "living" at our homes for 1 year. However, a year goes by SO fast! Your address might be at this 4-plex, but the government can't dictate where you spend your time.

Have your hubby-to-be buy/rent a place near your work (that is still a wise financial decision), and stay there during the week if it makes your commute better. Does one of your 4-plexs have 2 bedrooms?  Can you have a roommate to help with the mortgage? 

Thank you, Justine. :-)

Originally posted by @Justine Scheuher :

@Monica P.

Congrats!!! (On both your 4-plex AND engagement!!) This is such a great opportunity and a  GREAT potential wealth building asset. 

I just bought my first home in May 2017, using an FHA loan. So yes, we are stuck "living" at our homes for 1 year. However, a year goes by SO fast! Your address might be at this 4-plex, but the government can't dictate where you spend your time.

Have your hubby-to-be buy/rent a place near your work (that is still a wise financial decision), and stay there during the week if it makes your commute better. Does one of your 4-plexs have 2 bedrooms?  Can you have a roommate to help with the mortgage? 

This post has been removed.

The federal government doesnt have emotions . Just rules 

@Matthew Paul you are so right!!! FHA will also send out inspectors without notice to make sure you are living in the property. You don't want to mess around with this, unfortunately there's no real way around it. Mortgage fraud, intentional or not is not something you want to be involved in

How quickly do you plan to get married?  It will probably be a year anyway by the time you get engaged and then plan a wedding before you actually tie the knot and begin living together.

Wait for him to propose and then plan a wedding for next fall or even if you get married earlier, it would only be a short time for him to have long commute.

I'd say worry about where to live and commute times once engaged. You have enough to worry about with a new 4plex.

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