Help! Need to know. We got a loan for our last building purchase from a bank. We're going to lunch with them tomorrow. Who pays for lunch?

Sounds like a troll post. But I'll answer.  

I wouldn't assume anyone should be paying unless something was said in the conversation/invitation. If you feel like the lender did you a solid then go ahead and pay for it. Is it really that big a deal though?

I don't know what a troll post is. I was going to write a longer question on this in general but ran out of time. We always pay for any restaurants or drinks with our property managers or leasing agents since they basically work for us. 

But I wasn't clear who should pay when we go out with our lender since we gave them our business (a very large loan) but they gave us good terms. 

I guess it's silty but kind of important to me to not insult anyone since these relationships are the core of everything. 

As someone who has picked up the tab most of the time, the answer is fairly easy. Do you think they walked away from that loan happier than you? OR did the loan officer needed to explain himself why they agreed to such terms.  In the latter case, order the seafood tower and other apps and tell them to only worry about their entrees. 

If you think it was a fair deal, let them pick it up and offer to split it. 

Hi Kim, we do large construction loans on CRE & my clients typically pick-up all of the checks prior to closing. After closing, I usually pay for everything.

I don't consider borrowing money as "giving someone business". They are your partner. In many cases, lenders have more money in the deal than the owners do...and the lender's return is usually much less than the owner's profit. I'd buy lunch all day long. They can get the next one.

Who did the inviting? That is who should offer to pay

Ok thanks guys. I will happily buy them lunch. Thanks

@Kim Hopkins most lenders have expense accounts for this. If they invited you they usually pick up the tab. I have never had a lender, broker or PM not pick up the tab in my career.

Now if I invite the other party I always pick up the tab regardless.

come to think of it, we suggested meeting but then they suggested lunch. Ok so maybe they'll pay. I'll send them chocolates for Christmas so we're even. :)

@Kim Hopkins it is a fair question because it is complicated. 

1. In business it is customary to buy your customer lunch. In this situation you are the customer, because the bank is profiting from you. In the case with your property manager, you are also the customer, because they are a contractor.

2. It also can depend on who invited who. The person who does the inviting may also feel an obligation to buy lunch. As others said, it may feel more like a partnership. In that case it may be whoever invited ends up paying. If it is a partnership, then usually you pay one time and they pay the next time so in the end it is even.

3. If the invite was phrased, "I will take you to lunch" then the implication the person who invited pays.

The easy solution is to split the bill. Just ask for separate checks and it completely avoids the question of who is paying.

I have a tendency to always grab the check. "Thanks, this one is on me" is a small gesture that shows appreciation. In business you always want good will with your vendors, customers and partners. 

One final caution, if you reach for the bill and they say "no I insist on paying" - never argue. Say thank you and let them pay. Arguing over a check is more rude than sticking someone with the bill.

I always pay for Lunch... Unless the person with me insists. 

Yes, it's not the most money-saving habit!

Thanks Joe that was a really helpful and thoughtful response! 

Originally posted by @Ola Dantis :

I always pay for Lunch... Unless the person with me insists. 

Yes, it's not the most money-saving habit!

 Lets have lunch next time I am in Baltimore...

I would bring a Big bottle of mad dog and as the evening progressed I’d pull it out of the paper bag , set it on the table , and announce to the guests “ it’s time to get lit up fellas” 

I would just say pick up the check and know that you avoided any issues with it. 

My advice:  If you want something, money, advice, connections, etc., you pay for lunch.  If it is meeting of peers, you both pay.  If they want something, they pay.  ;-)

@Kim Hopkins

Whoever arranged it would be the one invitating. I fight to pay anyways though. A small price to pay to express gratitude. Congratulations on your closing.

simple way to handle it I do as @Javier D. suggest always offer to pay and let the other party talk me out of it.. 

with my banker of 25 years we are on a you buy this one I buy the next.. annual big dinners bank picks up.

My banker in Charleston never lets me buy even though I offer.. 

Buying lunch is some of the cheapest best goodwill you can muster in the real estate business.. 

When I am out with my vendors who I finance their deals I ALWAYS treat them to the best steak dinner in town ALWAYS>

Since I pay zero in marketing its my real only expense for client retention.. and if that account makes me 100k a year whats one 1000.00 dinner.. ???? 

Originally posted by @Joe Splitrock :

Originally posted by @Ola Dantis:

I always pay for Lunch... Unless the person with me insists. 

Yes, it's not the most money-saving habit!

 Lets have lunch next time I am in Baltimore...

 Joe, this is ONE lunch I REALLY look forward to paying for, as I know I will learn so much more than the price of lunch! 

Let's do it! 

So who ended up paying for lunch?

We just finished! Amazing food but I digress. They paid. I offered to split it and they insisted "our treat". Thanks again y'all!