Dirty tricks of the townhouse development game

13 Replies

Reaching out to the experts here in tony tract-built townhouses, but this may be of interest to anyone with kids. This is part of the real estate game I know very little about.

So I have a good friend who is an anesthesiologist in Brazil, and he may be going to Warren Alpert Medical School at Brown University in Providence, RI to do another residency for the next few years. Now, his brother is already there, teaching oncology. His brother lives in a 2-million-dollar McMansion in a small, affluent suburb of Providence, East Greenwich. East Greenwich is next to Warwick, a much bigger and less affluent suburb.

My friend therefore knows that the East Greenwich School District runs a very nice school district with highly rated schools, and he wants to also live in East Greenwich, to send his kid there. Accordingly, he found a (pricey) townhouse apartment development in East Greenwich and BY THE GRACE OF GOD ALMIGHTY told me about it before he committed. I know a bit about the Providence area because I used to live there, and I started investigating.

The development, in Google Maps, states that they are in East Greenwich. All their online info states that they are in East Greenwich. But once you get to the website and do a search on the address you will discover that the border between municipalities lies right on the road that the development is on. The little office of the development IS in East Greenwich. The townhouse apartments are actually in Warwick.

And the kids therefore go to a much-lower-rated elementary school in the Warwick school district. I called about this. I had to speak to two papershufflers in the development's offices before I got an administrator who grudgingly confirmed that the children who live in the development are, indeed, are sent to the Warwick school district.

The more I look at it, the more it looks like all this was intentional misdirection, to hoodwink the sort of out-of-state and foreign transplants who rent townhouses. Is this kind of address chicanery about school districts and municipalities common in the tony little townhouse game?

"So I have a good friend who is an anesthesiologist in Brazil"

There is not an anesthesiologist, or anyone for that matter, inside of me.

@Russell Brazil

Damn, Russell, are you OK, or are you having a stroke? This is not a reduced relative clause, as in, "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith." from Mary Poppins fame.

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This little school game is played in far greater depth than just townhouses location. Some people send their kids to nicer schools by using their friends/relatives address and having their utility bill sent their for a few months.....bingo, they're in. Technically a little squirrelly, but hey, parents want the best for their kids....right?

Originally posted by @Bruce Woodruff :

This little school game is played in far greater depth than just townhouses location. Some people send their kids to nicer schools by using their friends/relatives address and having their utility bill sent their for a few months.....bingo, they're in. Technically a little squirrelly, but hey, parents want the best for their kids....right?

Right, but parents can be expected to play the game, however stupid it is. Considering that my brother graduated 10th in his high school class at the same high school that I graduated 127th in my class two years later, and I can buy and sell my brother's a** in a Tijuana donkey show these days, I have some doubts that it really matters.

Is it the norm for townhouse complex and luxury apartment developers to play the game to screw over parents like this?

Originally posted by @Jim K. :
Originally posted by @Bruce Woodruff:

This little school game is played in far greater depth than just townhouses location. Some people send their kids to nicer schools by using their friends/relatives address and having their utility bill sent their for a few months.....bingo, they're in. Technically a little squirrelly, but hey, parents want the best for their kids....right?

Right, but parents can be expected to play the game, however stupid it is. Considering that my brother graduated 10th in his high school class at the same high school that I graduated 127th in my class two years later, and I can buy and sell my brother's a** in a Tijuana donkey show these days, I have some doubts that it really matters.

Is it the norm for townhouse complex and luxury apartment developers to play the game to screw over parents like this?

this situation is acute with the  Piedmont Oakland CA border..  Piedmont one side of the street Oakland the other .. 

That's pretty common throughout most of RI since our town lines are not super definitive. It happens with SFH as well, especially on the Warwick/East Greenwich line. Good thing you checked but make sure he understands to check the school district regardless of what the house zip code might be!



A Brazilian Anesthesiologist---that would be a good name for a "powerful" Mixed Drink.

One sip puts you right out.

Guy wants to live in a multi-million dollar home not in the school district, he ought to think about pony-ing up and paying for private school for the kids. 

Some private schools employ chef's for the lunchroom food service.

Originally posted by @Scott Mac :



A Brazilian Anesthesiologist---that would be a good name for a "powerful" Mixed Drink.

One sip puts you right out.

Guy wants to live in a multi-million dollar home not in the school district, he ought to think about pony-ing up and paying for private school for the kids. 

Some private schools employ chef's for the lunchroom food service.

Scott, this guy is my friend.

The situation is a bit more complicated than that. His brother lives in the McMansion, not him. And the reason the brother lives in the McMansion is that his wife demanded "a nice house" as part of making the sacrifice to live and raise her son away from Brazil. The brother's son DOES go to a private school. But the brother can afford it. Professors of oncology also in private practice make pretty good money.

My friend the anesthesiologist just wants a 2/1 in a safe neighborhood with a safe school system for his foreign kid. He's going to be pulling down $3500/month for the next four years in residency. He's not going to be raking in the bucks his brother does.

As far as the drink-ethnic-slurs go, do you REALLY WANNA GO THERE, LOL? What would a Scottish Financier and a Greek Handyman be?

Originally posted by @Jim K. :
Originally posted by @Scott Mac:



A Brazilian Anesthesiologist---that would be a good name for a "powerful" Mixed Drink.

One sip puts you right out.

Guy wants to live in a multi-million dollar home not in the school district, he ought to think about pony-ing up and paying for private school for the kids. 

Some private schools employ chef's for the lunchroom food service.

Scott, this guy is my friend.

The situation is a bit more complicated than that. His brother lives in the McMansion, not him. And the reason the brother lives in the McMansion is that his wife demanded "a nice house" as part of making the sacrifice to live and raise her son away from Brazil. The brother's son DOES go to a private school. But the brother can afford it. Professors of oncology also in private practice make pretty good money.

My friend the anesthesiologist just wants a 2/1 in a safe neighborhood with a safe school system for his foreign kid. He's going to be pulling down $3500/month for the next four years in residency. He's not going to be raking in the bucks his brother does.

As far as the drink-ethnic-slurs go, do you REALLY WANNA GO THERE, LOL? What would a Scottish Financier and a Greek Handyman be?

Hardly a slur---not meant that way...but I still think a Las Vegas Casino could use that as a drink name.

A Scottish Financier = GlenLivit on ice with a splash of Ouzo.

A Greek Handyman = Ouzo on Ice with a spalsh of GlenLivet.

Both with a stack of $100 bill as a cocktail napkins.

(Those two drinks actually might be be very good--hmmm)

How to make a "Black Russian and a White Russian" (also not ethnic slurs--just cocktail names) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LapFqwKibWs

And here's a similar one that the females seem to like better (sweeter), but is by no means just for them, you might want to try one of these if you have never had one -- A Grasshopper. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3PIAoUXwtc&list=RDQMR6dRo57S5Dg&start_radio=1

Some Mad Men Inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VpgEHsPc7I

Originally posted by @Scott Mac :
Originally posted by @Jim K.:
Originally posted by @Scott Mac:



A Brazilian Anesthesiologist---that would be a good name for a "powerful" Mixed Drink.

One sip puts you right out.

Guy wants to live in a multi-million dollar home not in the school district, he ought to think about pony-ing up and paying for private school for the kids. 

Some private schools employ chef's for the lunchroom food service.

Scott, this guy is my friend.

The situation is a bit more complicated than that. His brother lives in the McMansion, not him. And the reason the brother lives in the McMansion is that his wife demanded "a nice house" as part of making the sacrifice to live and raise her son away from Brazil. The brother's son DOES go to a private school. But the brother can afford it. Professors of oncology also in private practice make pretty good money.

My friend the anesthesiologist just wants a 2/1 in a safe neighborhood with a safe school system for his foreign kid. He's going to be pulling down $3500/month for the next four years in residency. He's not going to be raking in the bucks his brother does.

As far as the drink-ethnic-slurs go, do you REALLY WANNA GO THERE, LOL? What would a Scottish Financier and a Greek Handyman be?

Hardly a slur---not meant that way...but I still think a Las Vegas Casino could use that as a drink name.

A Scottish Financier = GlenLivit on ice with a splash of Ouzo.

A Greek Handyman = Ouzo on Ice with a spalsh of GlenLivet.

Both with a stack of $100 bill as a cocktail napkins.

(Those two drinks actually might be be very good--hmmm)

How to make a "Black Russian and a White Russian" (also not ethnic slurs--just cocktail names) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LapFqwKibWs

And here's a similar one that the females seem to like better (sweeter), but is by no means just for them, you might want to try one of these if you have never had one -- A Grasshopper. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3PIAoUXwtc&list=RDQMR6dRo57S5Dg&start_radio=1

Some Mad Men Inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VpgEHsPc7I

LOL, I certainly know what a White Russian is. I like me a Moscow mule, personally. It's hard to get it in the copper cup, especially here. I was kidding with the term "ethnic slur," especially since a real Greek Handyman is probably three ounces of raki taken rectally with no $100-bills in sight and I think a real Scottish Financier would be a lot cheaper than Glenlivet. I'm thinking Cutty drunk out of a brogue shoe.

@Bruce Woodruff

I really want to know if the address thing is part of the tract-built development game, if developers look for areas to do this sort of thing in. I can understand setting up a border community, but making the address of the office in one municipality while the rest of the development is in another...that threw me for a loop.

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Originally posted by @Bjorn Ahlblad :

@Jim K. The Greek Handyman might be good frozen as an after dinner drink when binging on Mexican food!

LOL!!! Revenge is a dish best served cold. Unless it's Montezuma's Revenge.