Getting a tentative spouse on board

4 Replies

I made the mistake of bringing up the idea of real estate investing with strictly unbridled optimism. My wife has a bit more of a conservative and scarcity-based mindset with money in general. I do intend to share the full picture of potential risks and benefits in a more intentional manner, to get her on board and as I learn more. So even though I am new to this and in the learning phase, I recognize the error in my ways but I am looking for advice and the best approach to getting someone comfortable. Someone that spends zero time thinking about finances and the only exposure to real estate is The handful of people in our family and friend group that unintentionally happened into owning a condo or two, and are completely jaded by experience interacting with tenants and maintenance. I approached the notion of financial independence and/or early semi retirement, by sharing some inspirational podcasts and videos… does anyone have any recommendations for something similar with real estate? That tackles the conceptual/mindset part, but I’d also like some advice and tactically how to talk about the numbers and risks. 

@David Banker here's why: a lot of time I see these questions on BP about how to get an SO on board, and it strikes me that it would be easier if the couple is in an overall stronger financial position.  For example - doing a flip using hard money with no savings cushion is way, way, way riskier than, for example, house hacking.  "Convincing" a spouse is very different in those two scenarios.

And to be very clear, I'm not looking for you to post specific amounts of money for all the world to see, just very general information like "I have two mortgages, a car payment, no c/c debt, a decent credit score, and a good savings cushion."  That helps the BP community give you more specific advice.

@David Banker  Seems to me like you have quite a problem in that you're trying to argue with logic when the problem itself is emotional. If your wife doesn't want to do it, no amount of logic, data, evidence, or anything you say will change that. so frankly, I would try to work on that aspect of things firstly. As you say, if all she knows about real estate are the terrible experiences people she knows has had I think you need to remove those experiences from consideration. Meaning, just because something did or did not work for somebody else doesn't necessarily mean that you are doomed to the same fate. 

Besides, the overwhelming number of negative opinions on real estate investing are the result of a failure to utilize the services of a professional property management company. I think that if you can demonstrate your understanding of the risks and how you intend to mitigate each one you may have a fighting chance. But again, at the end of the day if you are trying to win an emotional fight with logic, you might as well not even bother.

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