Post Card Design - Looking for feeback

[Mark Perry]

I'm starting a new mail campaign and created a new postcard.  I'd appreciate the groups feedback.  My objective was to have something that was short and to the point.  Something that could be read before the recipient makes it to the trash can.  Also wanted to leave them wanting more information to hopefully entice them to call to find out more.  Last campaign I used a pre-made template but think it was way too wordy.  If I were the recipient I would have likely tossed it before I had a chance to read it.  Let me know what you think and how I could improve it.  Thanks.

[Jerryll Noorden]

OK so keep in mind before I say anything I am trying to help and this is solely my opinion.

I think the card looks unprofessional. It is not ONLY about having the card seen/noticed. You need credibility.

That "font" looks like some kid wrote it. It simply feels like you are trying too hard to get their attention and that comes across as desperate and again that comes across as not really credible.

Often you sacrifice one for the other. Either  jump around and waver bright neon flags yelling and screaming hey hey heeeeey look at me look at meeee and you just don;t look very credible or be cool and collected, professional calm, but you won;t get noticed.

So it is a compromise you have to look into.

JUST colorful enough to be noticed yet still professional looking.

Now after I shot you down, let me try to help you back up.

The way I personally believe you can be noticable yet professional... is put a picture of your wife, girlyfriend on the card, let her wear a nice colorful top, and put your message on the card.

Having a set of eyes (and a person) on the card, the recipients eyes will be drawn to hers. At least to see who it is. People judge people. It is the way it is. A picture will have them judging, is she hot, is she not, is she hotter than me, is she not, is her hair nice is it not.... 

Human psycho.

Use that. Think on your own, use that creativity. Don;t just follow the masses. Don;t just abide to the established rules of the masses. Be the trend setter!