Emotionally sensitive male contractors? What the...

I am really surprised and caught off-guard by this.  Over the last 2 years that I've managed a short-term rental in northern San Antonio, I have experienced many small contractors that get so easily triggered, offended, and upset at me and my wife.  My wife is a soft-spoken 5'2" asian lady.  She is the least intimidating person ever.  This is in sharp contrast to our properties near Santa Cruz, California, where we spend most of our time and energy.

Californian's are known to be laid back and soft compared to east-coasters.  I don't know about Texas.  I believe that we're being very kind, fair, friendly, respectful...you name it.  I'm not new in this space and know how to build long-lasting relationships over many years.

Is there something I'm missing about the dynamics of hiring smaller contractors (handyman, landscaping, etc) in San Antonio?  Are they eating a little too well right now?  Are they supposed to be "the expert" and "have all the answers" rather than work it out with an investor?  I mean, I'd like to discuss how the project will be performed in a general way - and I think my questions about how they will perform the work are offending them.  As if I'm supposed to know nothing, and just rely on them 100% without questions or requests.  

So far the tally must be something like 40% of them go sour really quickly.  In CA, I don't recall a single one, which I have had many many more interactions with contractors over the years.  What is up with San Antonio?!  Or, is it ME!?