Personal Development

5 Surefire Tricks & Tips to Overcome Naysayer Negativity

Expertise: Real Estate Investing Basics, Real Estate Deal Analysis & Advice, Mortgages & Creative Financing, Landlording & Rental Properties, Business Management, Personal Development, Flipping Houses, Commercial Real Estate
162 Articles Written

You can’t do that!

The market is not good.

Real estate investing is risky!

We have all heard these less-than-uplifting comments before. Everyone from seasoned real estate investors to newbies have come across naysayers when the topic of real estate investing is discussed. The toughest part about naysayers is that they typically are friends and family: those closest to us.

As we all know, these are the people we spend the most amount of time with, and we can’t just stop their returning calls!

During the last couple of weeks, between reviewing recent BiggerPockers Forum posts and having coffee with a couple who is looking to grow their real estate portfolio, the discussion of “naysayers” has been a popular topic. Matt is off this week, so it’s Liz here to give you some strategies and tips to overcome any naysayer who enters your world, so you can stay on a positive path to achieving all of your real estate goals and aspirations.

5 Strategies and Tips to Overcome Naysayer Negativity

1. Become More Emotionally Resilient and Mentally Strong

In order to do this, you must “know yourself.”

Some people are so strong and resilient that naysayers don’t even bother them one bit. However, depending on your personality, you might be more sensitive. I am the type of person who can be influenced by others’ opinions and can take things personally at times. When we first told people Matt was going to quit his safe and high paying job, people thought we were nuts. We had to increase both our emotional resilience and mental strength.

Related: A Little Motivation Goes a Long Way

One way that both my husband and I have become more emotionally resilient has been by listening to and reading success stories of real people we want to emulate. Rich Dad’s Success Stories was a very inspiring book early on that provided great stories on how real people were applying financial independence lessons in their life.

Another absolutely fantastic biography that I just watched recently on Amazon Prime is Magic Beyond Words: The JK Rowling Story. The funny part is that I have never read any of the Harry Potter books or watched any of the movies. However, I was completely fascinated and uplifted by watching all that JK Rowling had to overcome. The key is to watch and read something everyday that gives you another reason to “stay the course” and overcome any obstacle you are facing.

A strategy we both use to become more mentally strong has been to use positive affirmations. This is not wishful thinking. This is a process by which you state your intentions in the present sense and focus your mind and energy on them. Somehow, by writing and stating out loud your affirmations, the universe aligns the right people, situations and circumstances to help you achieve this affirmation.

2. Accept That Every Naysayer is There to Teach You Something

“Life is a classroom and every person who crosses your path is your homework.” — Anonymous

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I believe not only every naysayer, but every person is in our life is there to teach us something. I can recall that when I shared with some family that I was going to quit my job in 2008 and join Matt full time in our business, I certainly heard from the naysayers.

This was a fairly risky decision since we had a loose plan on how we were going to “make it work” financially, but we were going to rely on savings and then just figure it out together. I had some naysayers ask me about “cash flow” and how we were going to pay ourselves consistently.  Still, no matter what people said to us, no one was going to talk us out of our decision.

However, in hindsight, while I did not appreciate the naysayers at the time, I can see that their “negative” feedback could have actually helped me and taught me something — if I allowed it to do so. Now, I am not saying you have to take to heart what naysayers tell you, but sometimes their “doom and gloom” opinion can actually help. We could have better prepared ourselves, no doubt, so we could have learned something from the naysayers.

Here are some questions to ask when you begin to hear naysayers stating their opinion to you:

  • Where is this person coming from?
  • Is there anything I can learn from what they are saying?
  • Does their opinion hold value or are they just speaking from their own fears?

3. Guard WHAT and HOW Much You Share With the Naysayers

If I needed advice for raising my 11-month-old, I would go to other mothers who have a child of a similar age to receive advice and support. I would never go to someone who does not have any kids to give me advice on how to raise kids.

You would agree, right?

What completely baffles my mind and is a HUGE pet peeve of mine is that everyday people take advice from naysayers who have NO experience in the area that they are being negative about. I love people who tell me about landlording who have never had any tenants. Or people who tell me about all the risks to flipping properties who have only watched HGTV shows. Or better yet, people who tell me about how it is risky to invest in Trenton, NJ (an urban community) ,when they themselves have never even stepped foot in Trenton or invested in an urban community.

I have always been super careful as to how much I share with potential naysayers. I would not ask someone who has never started a business to give me advice about starting a business. It makes no sense. Guard your dreams, goals, and aspirations like your life depends on it — because it does on some level. I would only share your aspirations with others who are going to support you, not tear you down.

Your goals are important, and you don’t have time to listen to anyone who tries to project their fears onto you.

4. Find an Accountability Partner Who Will Support You and Your Goals

I have heard that we become those who we surround ourselves with.

If you are only listening to people who are telling you you “can’t” and that you are “crazy,” then you need to counteract this energy with people who are only going to support you. Clearly, online communities like BiggerPockets are amazing. I would also encourage you to join your local real estate and business networking group, as well.

My husband, Matt, volunteers and runs our local real estate networking group in Mercer County, NJ. The topic of last month was “accountability.” This was a powerful meeting that provided newbies and seasoned investors an opportunity to share their goals, receive positive support from one another, and most importantly, partner up with one of the members as an “accountability partner.”

Related: One Essential Trait Every Real Estate Investor Needs

Having an accountability partner will help you keep your commitments and achieve your goals faster.

5. Read and Re-Read Your Vision Daily

I read a great quote on a blog this morning by Michael Hyatt: “Vision and strategy are both important. But there is a priority to them. Vision always comes first. Always. If you have a clear vision, you will eventually attract the right strategy. If you don’t have a clear vision, no strategy will save you.”

So, do you have an inspiring vision that you read and re-read to yourself daily?

If not, I would create one — and I would create one quickly. Matt and I have some ambitious financial goals, and I review that piece of paper each and every day as my vision of what we are creating and what we are moving towards. After I review the piece of paper, I stop and close my eyes. I see this vision coming to a reality, with all parties involved smiling and shaking hands.

Don’t let anyone stop you — naysayers and most importantly, yourself.

How have you dealt with naysayers? What tips am I missing?

Thanks for reading this week and don’t forget to leave a comment below!

Matt Faircloth, co-founder and president of the DeRosa Group, is a seasoned real estate investor. The DeRosa Group, based in historic Trenton, New Jersey, is a developer and owner of commercial and residential property with a mission to “transform lives through real estate." Matt, along with his wife Liz, started investing in real estate in 2004 with the purchase of a duplex outside of Philadelphia with a $30,000 private loan. They founded DeRosa Group in 2005 and have since grown the company to owning and managing over 370 units of residential and commercial assets throughout the east coast. DeRosa has completed over $30 million in real estate transactions involving private capital including fix and flips, single family home rentals, mixed use buildings, apartment buildings, office buildings, and tax lien investments. Matt Faircloth is the author of Raising Private Capital, has been featured on the BiggerPockets Podcast, and regularly contributes to BiggerPockets’s Facebook Live sessions and educational webinars.
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Wow! Great and uplifting article. I always ask naysayers ” do you pay my bills, do you increase my networth”? If you don’t contribute to that then keep your opinion. I would encourage every investor to read a book called ” what it takes to be number one” it’s the story of Vince Lombardi. It’s talks alot about mental roughness. Thank you .
    Liz Faircloth
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Ilhan, Thanks for your kind words! And thanks for tip on the Vince Lombardi book! I love reading books from people I like and respect and he is one of them! Thanks and all the best to you!! Liz
    Rolanda Eldridge
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Great article…so true! I always consider the SOURCE!!!…Keep it MOVING!!!
    Liz Faircloth
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Rolanda: Thanks so much for your comment and feedback. I always say to myself as well – “consider the source.” Great saying!!! Love “keep it moving” as well! Good luck with everything! Liz
    Richard Guzman
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Hello, A very good article that I can read and re-read again and again! Thank you – Its funny, I am not sure if I would categorize this as naysayers but I do have family members that I talk to and I tell them my plans, goals and aspirations in the real estate business AND in response they always tell me “I told you about that years ago” or “if you would have did it years ago when I told you”. I just laugh, maybe it was not the time or the place as I have traveled to many places in the last 10 years – but NOW IT IS! I always say to myself positive energy = positive results. I see the vision now its time to get it! Thank you for reaffirming my feelings.
    Liz Faircloth
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Richard, You are so welcome! Glad to hear it was uplifting and provided a positive reminder to you. We ALL need these reminders on a daily and weekly basis – myself included! I love what you wrote – positive energy=positive results. Great reminder! Take good care and have a great week ahead! Liz
    Frankie Woods Investor from Arlington, Virginia
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Loved the tips! Especially “Guard your dreams, goals, and aspirations like your life depends on it “. So inspirational! Thank you!
    Liz Faircloth
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Frankie, So glad you liked the blog post and tips!! Thanks for your comment. Keep protecting your dreams and share with those who are going to support you! Happy investing!! 🙂 Liz
    John Geldert from East Meadow, New york,
    Replied about 6 years ago
    Great read, it’s so true about the naysayers especially here in the NY market. When I tell them I’m looking to quit my job in 5 or so years they say I’m “crazy” or that’s “impossible”. Thanks for the tips on staying positive and focused on my dreams. I will put them into practice starting today!
    Elizabeth Faircloth Real Estate Investor from Trenton, NJ
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great to hear, John. I am so sorry for not posting a comment sooner! I just saw this comment! Hope the new year is off to a wonderful start for you!!! 🙂
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Great post, should be required reading for anyone starting a new venture. Though it’s written for real estate it Crosses all sectors, all industries.
    Elizabeth Faircloth Real Estate Investor from Trenton, NJ
    Replied almost 6 years ago
    Kevin, Thanks so much for your comment and note! I agree. Overcoming “naysayers” applies to all areas of our life!! All the best to you in your real estate ventures. Stay positive!! Liz