Feeling a little discouraged
Rental Property Investor · Overland Park, KS · Member since 2018 · 49 posts · 30 votes
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m never going to advance much further in this whole real estate business because I don’t have the money to make a deal. I’m introverted and terrible at sales and networking, so I’m struggling to find any partners, too. I would appreciate any words of wisdom to help get beyond this rut.
@Erin Auman I don't think money or networking are holding you back. I think it is general lack of action. You need to take action to succeed.
A good first step is create a profile on BiggerPockets. Your profile is EMPTY. Write up your goals in real estate. Share your deals.
Make connections on BiggerPockets. I know you are an introvert, but messaging on a computer is very non-threatening. You have 10 connections on BP currently. Set your goal to double those connections. That means submitting connection requests and include a person note. The personal note should be honest. Send me one and I will accept, so that is one down!
Post more questions in the forums. Questions can be any topic you are stuck on. Examples, "How Do I get Better at Sales" or "How Does an Introvert Make Connections" or "Opinions On XYZ Market".
Respond to forum posts that are of interest to you. With the variety of topics I guarantee you can find some that you can add value to. Tag someone in each of the posts, which will encourage them to respond to you. This is a step towards starting conversations.
You can also look for meet ups in your area. Set key word alerts for your city and state. You may be nervous attending the meeting, but you can just go and listen. People will approach you and all you have to do is answer questions.
As you take these steps, each builds on the next. Don't let fear or excuses shut you down. Just do a little bit every day and slowly you will get there.
I think you can always play to your strengths! If you're not great at things that you feel you need to be, you can work on those as you go along but also you need to work with what you have!
If you're not good at speaking with people and buying them in on a deal, you know what speaks well to people? Numbers. Learn how to work the deal as best you can and let people know that if they don't partner with you, they're CRAZY. Doing this will eventually nab you someone better at getting people on board with words and then you'll have a purpose-built team of investors on your side. It won't be tomorrow, but you can do it.
I know what you mean. I currently have a great opportunity to buy a 26 unit apartment complex that i currently manage. the owner told me he would sell it to me first if I wanted it. I know everything there is to know about this business and know it is a great opportunity. I just don't have the money to put a down-payment on it and have no connections to try to get funding nor do I know how to get started in getting some funding. It's like a lot of things. Once you get your foot in the door and have established yourself, people, including banks will throw money at you for business opportunities. But, the hardest thing of all is getting started. I feel the same way you do. If you find the secret solution, Please fill me in.
@Erin Auman
If you want it bad enough your fear of failing will exceed your fear of sales and engaging others. Sales is everywhere and is a necessary skill. You may not even notice when you are selling and thats when you are doing it well. The difference is those that are good at it do it naturally because they have the utmost conviction of what their purpose is. Make a goal on how to overcome and stick to it for at least 2 months. It can be 5 cold calls a day everyday even. I do 10-15 cold calls a day everyday in about 30-45 minutes calling on commercial and small
multi family owners. In the last year we have closed over 11 million in deals for ourselves/investors/clients just from that few of calls. It doesn't take alot in a short time. It takes a little all the time.
@Erin Auman find what your unfair advantage is and exploit it! We all have strength and weakness, partner with someone who compliments your weakness. Be patient and Learn something new everyday and doors will open!
@Erin Auman IMO you are being stopped by fear. Fear of the approach, fear of rejection. Look up Youtube for sample speeches and write out your own networking speech and practice it? Practice it in front of a mirror and then practice it in front of someone you trust. Once you practice a few times and get honest feedback, you will feel much more comfortable in your approach. And practicing is what all professionals do. Be bold! But practice and routine will become easier so you can overcome your fear.
@Erin Auman
Hey Erin, I highly suggest two books. They’ll change your life!
1) How to Win Friends and Influence People
2) Think and Grow Rich
One will teach you the art of human relations, the other will teach you how to have the mindset to do anything.
The fact that you don’t believe you can do it might be the biggest factor holding you back. Think about your strengths and focus on them. They are what’s going to make you successful! I’m a newbie here but I believe in the power of positive thinking and that people can accomplish anything with the right mindset. Good luck!
@Erin Auman
Hi Erin my name is Juan I'm from California and I actually just bought a rental property in Topeka. This is my second property and I too feel I'm slow to start. Im currently in the rehab phase and am looking for a handyman and also someone who knows how to cut granite countertops. Do you know anyone in the area who would be able to help me out?
Its true what they say, the first investment is always the toughest... but don't let that discourage you. There's always a way.
Honestly, I started the same way... very introverted... terrible with people... definitely not good with sales... etc.... Im still like that to this day. But I knew I was pretty resourceful, a good problem solver... and most importantly I have the drive and passion to succeed. Just being of BP tells me you have these qualities in you now... so Im sure you can accomplish anything just like I have. You just have to keep going.
@Erin Auman
Way to step out of your comfort zone and post about it! It looks like you have gotten oodles of really good advice. I think your first step in that direction should be to find an investor friendly realtor. It’s one person that will be really great to have for all the things needed for real estate. You might even be able to find them on Bigger Pockets! :) I am an experienced based learner as well. You may also be able to find a flipper on Bigger Pockets in your area and ask them for coffee. Get advise from them and perhaps offer up to help them. Even if it’s meeting contractors at the flip house to show them scope if the investor can’t do it themselves. There are a lot of small things that could help on a project that someone may be willing to let you shadow them for :)
Best of luck. And think outside the box to tailor to your situation :) you can do it!!!
You got this! Learning something new can always scary, but like anything in life once you do it a few times it will be much easier. The key to this is actually getting out there and DOING it. Read as much as you can, listen to the podcast and surround yourself with like-minded people. You got this, stop doubting yourself!
Tison
@Erin Auman before you move forward definitely read and listen to some motivational speakers or tapes. You can download some motivational books from Amazon. My mother always told me that "if one person can, you can also." I also have introvert tendencies...networking, social events, etc. But I know that I can be successful despite the tendencies. Just arm yourself with knowledge then move forward. You will be just fine.
@Erin Auman
Definitely understandable, my suggestion would be to read a book called Secrets of the Millionaire Mind By T. Harv Eker.
You will need to change your mindset and this book was helpful to me.
Hope this helps.
Good Day!!
I was a bit like you when I started, then I realized the fact I do not like crowds and am introverted was causing me not to realize my dreams and goals....To be honest I was afraid of rejection and being mistreated....I found what helped me was creating an alter ego (to an extent) and simply believing in my purpose...The fear of rejection was once polarizing to me but as I became more grounded in my knowledge of real-estate, I found my confidence grew...Reaching out on this platform is a great start...
As far as the financing there are a lot of creative ways to find financing, all you would need to do is research and determine what avenue works best for you...
Best of luck to you!!!
Greetings, fellow introvert! I'm with you - I share what you feel.
I have the added complication that I'm Asperger's - meaning, I was born without natural "people skills". The little I know about relating to others I've managed to learn just in the last 20 or so years (I'm 64). I still need to learn more, but I'm not totally isolated.
Torrance Jones suggested creating an "alter ego", the person you think would be more successful who you could become by choice. Some folks call that, "fake it 'til you make it". No, not being intentionally dishonest, just stretching outside your comfort zone. In the end, you become what you need to be to achieve your goals and it becomes second nature.
Even that, however, will still pose challenges. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again from where you left off.
I have no local family and my social circle I can count on one hand. So, I understand not having a "warm market" for private lenders. Reach out of your shell and meet new people. The skill will come to you when you need it, even if it takes time to develop.
Yes - I'm talking to both of us here. Sometimes, I'm my own motivational speaker :-) .
Hope this helps ...
Becoming successful in this business is hard work. If it wasn't, then everyone would be doing it. You just need to keep moving forward, grit instead of quit. Some good steps would be to find your local apartment association, or if there are any investor meet ups. If you can't find anything like that call some people who have rental listings up. You will get a lot of people that won't want to talk to you, but if you keep calling you will find a true investor that would be happy to meet for a coffee. Once you find these people figure out how you can add value to them. Offer to do their grunt work in exchange for following them around and seeing what they do, even if it is unpaid. My first year as a real estate agent I worked 60hr weeks and after my expenses made about 10k for the entire year. That seems like a waste of time but it open doors for me and I gained a great education which got me to the 119 units that I own today. You better believe there were a ton of times I thought I was wasting my time, and would never make it. I'm still not where I want to be but I'm finally seeing results of my efforts 5 years later. If you absolutely can't find anyone to help, then I would suggest rethinking your living style. Try to buy a multi-unit property on a residential mortgage. You will only need to come up with 3.5% down as long as you live in the property for longer than 1yr. Feel free to message if you have any questions or want more advice.
Hey, @Erin Auman My background is also Interior Kitchen design.
In another note, I do think @James Nix is right, is never enough to developmental skills.(REMEMBER THIS ALWAYS) You have greatness in you,(YOU ARE ALREADY CREATE LIKE THIS< WITH GREATNESS) just like a seed. ( a seed) doesn't say I am just a seed, a seed has potential inside, it just needs the correct environment and timing and condition to become GREAT and ABLE to create fruit, It needs, Soil, Water, and correct temperature to grow (and time) . Same with us humans, Meetups, Books, Friends environment.
More than developing Sales Skills, I will challenge you to try Tony Robbins or motivational videos, I know is more of what you are probably doing, though believe me, mix this with a workout "Motion Creates Emotion" and I guarantee you will gain the confidence to talk, meet etc...
COME ON !!! :) You are a designer!!! I bet you are a super interesting person; Creative, analytical, out of the box thinker. So I am confident you have a lot to bring to the table.
Blessings and MAKE IT a Great day!..
feel free to contact me any time!!
I just wanted to thank everyone for all the great advice! You’ve given me a lot of things to ponder and some good, actionable information. I do have more strengths to offer than I realized, and I just need to focus on those when talking to people and trying to find a mentor. It’s so easy to get discouraged, and I just needed a reminder to keep plugging away.
@Erin Auman
Erin, I can understand you agreeing with yourself that you are an introvert, and someone might have said this already in this thread, but this is just a story you tell yourself. You tell yourself this every day you wake and every morning you go to bed. Your internal program looks for this to fall back on and keep you comfortable and safe. But only you are the one that can change your story. You need to condition yourself based on the Future you, not the past you.
Maybe write down a couple steps that you feel would help you step beyond your comfort level. And when you do these things, be conscious of how you feel when you do them and really question Why you feel this way and how you can use it to your advantage.
Anyway, you're not alone here.
You can do it. I promise.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I’m never going to advance much further in this whole real estate business because I don’t have the money to make a deal. I’m introverted and terrible at sales and networking, so I’m struggling to find any partners, too. I would appreciate any words of wisdom to help get beyond this rut.
Erin,
I know a real estate investor who is an introverted engineer and yet he has acquired over $15M worth of real estate, over 100 houses and 139 apartment units. So it can be done.
You have several options: (if I were you, I will do ALL of these)
If you send me a PM, I will introduce you to that introverted engineer. He sometimes stutters when he speaks. And if he can acquire MILLIONS of dollars of real estate, so can YOU.
@Erin Auman don’t give up! If you’re persistent there’s literally no way you can fail long term. Step out of your comfort zone, network, and put yourself out there. The things that you’re struggling with are all skills that can be learned, and it’s been proven time and time again by other investors, you don’t need money to get started. Keep learning and educating yourself. As you gain more knowledge you’ll become more confident. After some networking and your first deal down, those initial butterflies will subside. Keep pushing, and keep us posted on your progress. Good luck!
@Erin Auman i am sorry you are experiencing these feelings, but keep in mind they are normal. Many new investors make the mistake of believing the BP kool aid of no down payment no money no credit. This can be done, but it is not a sustainable long term strategy. So my questions to you are:
1. What exactly are you trying to do in real estate
2. Do you own or rent the home you live in now?
be sure to tag me in the response so I can reply
"no down payment no money no credit. This can be done, but it is not a sustainable long term strategy."
You made this statement. Could you go a little further in to detail for someone that has a place being offered to him to buy but doesn't have the down payment and doesn't have the best credit? I've asked this question before in the forum and all I got back was I need to fix my credit. Well, I get that and I am in the process of doing so but how are the ways that people can raise the money for a down payment when they do not have it themselves and/or do not have good credit at the time to get a loan from a bank?
@Erin Auman...I totally get it.
Last year I was in your shoes, listening to podcast after podcast, reading books, devouring articles, how-to's, and talking to realtors.
The story going around in my head was--is this industry, career, and life just for the ultra-outgoing, super-confident movers and shakers?
One day I listened to a podcast by Hal Elrod, who challenged his listeners to set a BIG goal for a short time window, and work as hard as possible to succeed.
His premise was that even if you don't succeed, the person you become while striving for the goal is the reward.
The question for me turned into, "Do I want to become the type of person who learns how to take on big challenges?"
The answer was a BIG and resounding yes.
So no matter if I reached my goal or not, I was going to set my big goal out there and work harder than hard to reach it.
Here's my goal, which I repeat multiple times a day:
"I am committed to maintaining unwavering faith that I will be living rent-free in a purchased home by August 1, 2019, and will put forth extraordinary effort until I do. No matter what, there is no other option."
After months and months of struggles, pushing, tears, and valleys...yesterday my offer was accepted for a house that will produce enough rent for me to live rent-free. I am pre-approved, and will close August 1, 2019.
Erin, because I have walked this path, I know it is possible for you.
PS. Discouragement is part of the journey, so don't let it take you down. Discouragement is just another step in the process.
@Erin Auman
I'm struggling with the same thing. I'm great at talking to people, but it's hard to start a conversation. Do you have skills that may bring value to partners? Like you can find deals and/or you are creative with financing?