I've been here listening and reading things on BiggerPockets for a few years now.

In December 2018 I finally decided to pull the trigger and buy my first house. I bought the house with the intention of turning it into a duplex and living in half of it. I was successful in that.

I also refinanced it to get my mortgage payment lower. And now I only contribute about $200 towards the mortgage and I cover all of the utilities.

And from there I thought I was good. Took a step back to admire my work. I was pretty proud.

And then I realized that I screwed myself (can I say that on here?).

First, I bought a house that appraised at the value that I bought it. Zero Equity. Terrible.

Second, at the time I was refinancing my house, my car died completely so in order to afford the car I had to combine all of my credit card debt into a personal loan to raise my credit.

Now, I have a Mortgage, Personal Loan, Car Loan, and Student Loans. My debt to income ratio is about 43% (or 35% with my tenant). And, according to the bank I only have 7% equity (Zillow and Redfin show me at 15%) in my house, currently.

Basically, moving forward with investments using this house, is a bust.

So I gave up. Had an anxiety attack. No hope.

I started scrambling to start other side businesses to make enough money for another down payment and repair costs. My goal was to get an extra 30k. Fast.

I started side business after side business. Trying to make that extra buck. But, they all failed. Just reinforcing my draw towards failure. I was starting to really give up. But I always have my heart set on escaping this rat race.

So I kept working, every chance I got. And then boom. Another mental breakdown. (Actually, happened last night).

But last night, I also had the truth thrown at me by some loved ones. I work too hard. I have really high expectations of myself. And, I'm just generally too hard on myself and don't give myself credit for what I have accomplished.

So, I decided to take a step back and regroup.

I'm only paying $200 plus utilities for my housing. That's pretty phenomenal.

I have a great work ethic. Sometimes a little too hardcore.

I understand the ins and outside of basic real estate. Not many people my age do.

My current house is a dead end in terms of investing. But one day it will be my greatest asset.

I have decided to become more serious about real estate and learn how to take hold of my situation and make it work for me. I will be attending local groups, talking to people, learning how they invest and start gathering new ideas that I might be able to use. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to take a step back and see where you're at, what you have accomplished, and where you can go from here.

If anyone has any comments or advice, I would love to hear from you. Thank you.