Dad said Money with No brain forget that.

36 Replies

So me and my dad arent very close and we went out to eat and he just retired from army couple years ago. We got to talking about finances and he told me what he makes which was $175,000 a year out of the army working for the goverment and said he has never made that in army flying helicopters. i moved around every year in high school being in 4 different high schools. Not making excuses but really had no education. Struggled trying to find my way and i think its real estate i started a trend around here with buying properties fast and rehabbing them and renting them below market value. So we were talking about finances and i said i was kind of scared with what im doing but I overthink and i know that i told him ive talked to very good real estate people and a big business accountant thats a real estate investor friend and said what ive done is amazing and would buy all my stuff with what i bought them for. So my dad made the comment to me saying money with no brains forget that. Thats the way i do feel about myself. Hes a pretty hard character and i think i seek his validation. Know this isnt all real estate related. But i think my net worth is good having 11 units. 1 duplex and 9 SFH's. Whats every ones thought on my dad saying money with no brains, forget that!

@Joshua D. I am a father of an 18 year old son. It has always been my hope that I am raising a man that is responsible, respectful and self sufficient. As a MAN once you can pay your own bills, put a roof over your own head and food on the table(independent) it doesn't matter what anyone else says. Now if you are living at home and eating your daddy's food then he has every right to comment your life. If not then don't worry, life is too short. Soon you will be raising your own kid and then you can control the way you treat them. Live your life kid!! That's all I can say.

Not quite sure what 'money with no brain, forget that' means?

I think I get the gist though.  My dad was a 30 year government worker, too.  We do not talk about my investing career anymore period.  Kinda used to, but our views are too different.  It's like Kyosaki's rich dad and poor dad trying to agree on this issue.  Can you imagine? Not going to happen.

Not many lifelong w-2 people get what we do.  We don't have to have our parents approval on everything I have found, though it would be nice.  My dad and I can chat about a lot of stuff, just not investing or social insecurity.  And he knows I plan on donating whatever I inherit from him to local charities he's supported his whole life, in his and mom's name.  Try not to worry about it too much @Joshua D. !

I don't believe his comment is in regards to intelligence, he is referring to education. Assuming you have thoroughly educated yourself on finances and investing in Real estate then you should have the brains   (knowledge) to succeed. If you are not educated you may simply be lucky to get where you are and may be placing yourself at high risk.

One statement you made however makes me feel your dad could be partially correct......."renting them below market value."

@Joshua D. Ask him what he means by that statement.  I would bet that your net worth exceeds his when he was your age and you should be proud of what you have accomplished.  There are plenty of educated idiots in the world working for peanuts.  Keep doing what you are doing and don't look back.

@Thomas S. I didnt say anything about rents are but i surely dont rent anything below market value. Actually i rent them way above market value. Thanks everyone for chiming in

Tell him: "if I can get this much money with no brain, remember that"! All the best...

It takes brains (and guts) to buy 10 properties.  That's not up for debate.  And your dedication to self-development with this post is exceptional.

Stick with your good real estate people and accountant...they will support and push you.  Stick with your dad as well but on a personal, not financial, level.

Validation is one of the primary things that a son needs from their dad.  You are right to feel that way.  But, you may not be able to do anything about it.  I'm not qualified to address that item but you have our validation.  Keep killing it and you won't care what your dad or anyone else thinks.

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

@Joshua D. Congrats on your accomplishments! "Money with no brains" is a broad statement. 

What is the definition of "no brains". Is it lack of  college education? I would challenge any professor at

an ivy league school to step in next month and manage your portfolio and lets see how it goes. 

My kids will come home from school and tell me how "smart" another kid is in the class.  I always tell them that because someone has the capacity to memorize a fact and recite it on a test is NOT inelegance, it is a good memory. 

True Intelligence is the ability to reason and problem solve and I can not think of a better way to showcase your intelligence than managing a bunch of rentals!

My mother is the one that always told me to go into real estate and have a rental, then told me to get a good union job with a retirement plan. I did EXACTLY what she said, graduated  high school and got a great union job making 50k per year with full benefits and  a retirement plan.  When I took my real estate to a new level and QUIT MY UNION JOB, she cried! To this day I have done more than 1,000 real estate deals and my mom will still tell me about other family members and how great they are doing because they got  a promotion at work or worked a bunch of overtime and made 90 grand that year and NEVER recognizes what I do or what I have accomplished. 

My point is, I do a nice job at not valuing the opinion of others, I am on my own journey and if you are with me then great! If you have negative things to say toward me or are not supportive, I simply do not validate your opinion. I may like or love you, but could care less of your opinion. LOL

The A students work for the C students

The C students own the company and rent their space from the D student. 

With all of that said, I am sending my kids to college, but they are expected to have a plan going in! It is a means to an end, graduating college is not the end goal. 

Ok, I will get off of the psychiatrist couch now! LOL

I've never seen a protest at a Trade School.  Wonder why?

@Rob Gillespie

In general I agree with your post on this thread however I thought one thing in particular I take exception to.

You essentially communicated (I don't know how to do a quote like others do here) that you don't care about the opinion of those that don't validate you.  I think this is EXTREMELY dangerous and I would say that it is a huge sign of maturity to seek critical feedback. 

Of course knowing the intent of where that critical feedback is coming from is also very important (is it coming from a place where someone is actually wanting to help you)

@Jim Goebel I COMPLETELY agree about TRUE FEEDBACK being taken into consideration. I ask for it frequently, however the folks that I accept it from have a true understanding of every side of what they are giving advice on. 

For example, I love my mother, could not have asked for a better one. Honestly, would not be in the business today without her. With that said, the advice she gives me about business and how to earn a living is really coming from a place of her own fears and not from actual real world experience. 


I sell investment properties, when I tell some folks that at a cocktail party or networking event, they instantly go toward how bad of business it is because tenants will tear the house up and if they do not pay, it takes forever to get them out.  When I ask if they have had that experience, they usually tell me it is what they have heard. 

So in short. YES- ask for advice and feedback frequently, but make sure it is a reliable source that is giving you the advice. 

Jim, I do appreciate you asking me to clear that up. I am much better at talking than writing and I can see how that would have been misinterpreted. 

@Bob B. LOL!!!!!!! " that is so funny that you have never seen a protest at a trade school!"  That is true!!!!

@Bob B. What does that mean? No debates in a trade school?

As an educator/ed. researcher, I explain to families all the time that there is a difference between schooling and education. Schooling is a formal process that we all go through, it proves nothing but the fact that you can go through a process and start and finish something. It's regurgitation and requires no level of high level thinking. Education can be formal but informal if you choose to learn things by yourself. Education requires you to take maybe the skills, tools, and/or knowledge that you may have acquired in the classroom to the next level .. you aren't studying for a test anymore and you aren't trying to impress anyone. 

I do believe formal education serves an important role but the lessons you've acquired buying prop. teaches way more than just #s. It's a lot of idiots with college degrees :) 

I think we all in some way seek the validation of our parents, whether we admit it or not. But once we admit that to us, we can then be aware of our differences and be realistic. So, the fact that you have acknowledged wanting his approval, is already a great step forward. 

I think it's very, very difficult for someone that's working a 9-5 job to understand someone that takes chances. It's about control. Not being a control freak, but rather the feeling that they can control that they'll have a job tomorrow and that they'll have a regular paycheck coming in. And that leads to control of their housing, car and whatever other stuff they have. As American society teaches that a person's self-worth is all about the stuff they own. 

So, I think on one hand there's a little jealousy when someone is willing to get out of that box and that in turn can lead to a feeling of inferiority, because they themselves can't do it. So, putting the other person down is one way to make themselves feel superior. 

Guess, why I stopped dating? A single woman in this field is not very comfortable for most men. 

So, your dad knows that you're succeeding in a way that he himself can't and by putting you down, he pats himself on the back. It hurts and is not fair, but it's probably not something you can do anything about it. Just recognize it and move forward. Easier said then done.

@Joshua D.

"rehabbing them and renting them below market value."

Sorry I obviously misunderstood what you meant when you said you rent them below market.

@Joshua D.   I know medical doctors that will tell you their parents are let down by their accomplishments.  It is simply a parenting style.  Not a good one, but it is one.

Well the one thing I agree is that "money with no brain" is money that is soon to be lost. Of course, I disagree with his definition of "brain".

That said... others are right, "education" does not necessarily equal "brain". Clearly you wouldn't be in the position you were if you were lacking brains/smarts.

I am sorry you and your dad aren't close, and I feel your pain.  I thank your dad and all members of the military for doing what they do on a daily basis.  

I think you don't need formal education to be intelligent.  Please, be kind to yourself, first off you are smart enough to have built a small empire, and found Bigger Pockets, so I am assuming you are doing research on your empire problems.

I have met people who could score extremely high in tests, but couldn't buy a house.  Couldn't do plumbing, drywall or a tenant negotiation.  Couldn't even show a house properly.  

I guess what I am saying, is don't ask a baker to be a surgeon.  What you are doing is much better than doing nothing. 

Lets put it this way, I have a 6 figure W2 job, and I have a 5 figure Real estate empire, if I could afford it, I would spend all day doing realestate because that is my passion.  But I have a case of golden handcuffs.

Do what you love because desk jobs aren't exactly as glorious as they look.

Joshua D.    What you accomplished so far and what you will accomplish is far far better a sign of your intelligence (That's worth something) than a Harvard education!

The most successful person (Scott) I know personally growing up went to a podunk rural, no-name college, but went to do amazing things and now is a venture capitalist investing in new companies.   

On the other hand, a close friend (Tony) went to Harvard and midway through college we met in the summer, and the guy was such a pompous ***.   We played video games together and after he won a few games, he says, "I won those games because I went to Harvard."   

About 5 years later, this Harvard grad (Tony) was looking for a job and asking for a job to (Scott) who graduated from a no-name school.  

It's not what school you went to, or what letters you have at the end of your name.    It's what you have done and will do in your life that matters.

Also, in my line of work - i've seen technicians far far better off than the managers/bosses because  they managed their money well, invested, and live under their means.    Now in their 40-50s they live a great life and work maybe 20-30 hour weeks since they have more than enough to live on.

People who rely on their fancy W-2 jobs alone will have nothing to stand on , when they lose their jobs.   

Originally posted by @Rob Gillespie :

@Jim Goebel I COMPLETELY agree about TRUE FEEDBACK being taken into consideration. I ask for it frequently, however the folks that I accept it from have a true understanding of every side of what they are giving advice on. 

For example, I love my mother, could not have asked for a better one. Honestly, would not be in the business today without her. With that said, the advice she gives me about business and how to earn a living is really coming from a place of her own fears and not from actual real world experience. 


I sell investment properties, when I tell some folks that at a cocktail party or networking event, they instantly go toward how bad of business it is because tenants will tear the house up and if they do not pay, it takes forever to get them out.  When I ask if they have had that experience, they usually tell me it is what they have heard. 

So in short. YES- ask for advice and feedback frequently, but make sure it is a reliable source that is giving you the advice. 

Jim, I do appreciate you asking me to clear that up. I am much better at talking than writing and I can see how that would have been misinterpreted. 

I totally agree with parents coming from a place of fear.. I wanted to buy McQuen condos in 1975 at a freshly minted 18 year old real estate sales men I could buy 2 of them with 500 down on each and 175 a month payment 7500.00 total.. rented for 250 a month.. my mom just cried her eyes out telling me not to buy those it would be a disaster.. well those were prime San Jose 4 plex's and they sell for about 600k a door today probably higher.. OH well.

The question would be what is your monthly cash flow , leverage and goals?   

Hey Joshua,

Great post to make us all think about lessons we've learned and how they're related to where we are now!.

Not 100% sure what your dad means by 'money with no brains, forget that'... but if I had to take a guess, I'd take it as a reminder to be wise with what you do with your money.

That being said, having 11 rental units isn't something you can accomplish with 'no brains'...

Congrats on your portfolio AND the offer you received for it!

Best,

Abel

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