When and How to Retire? Recommendations on therapist

8 Replies

Does anyone have a great recommendation for a therapist who understands 1. entrepreneurship, 2. early retirement, 3. financial freedom most people don't achieve, and 4. codependency that can kick in when you have the resources to help but shouldn't. Few therapists understand this because it doesn't align with their worldview and they end up giving really awful advice. If you personally understand where I am coming from please message me and/or share your insights into how you managed it.

Originally posted by @Cathy Malmrose :

Does anyone have a great recommendation for a therapist who understands 1. entrepreneurship, 2. early retirement, 3. financial freedom most people don't achieve, and 4. codependency that can kick in when you have the resources to help but shouldn't. Few therapists understand this because it doesn't align with their worldview and they end up giving really awful advice. If you personally understand where I am coming from please message me and/or share your insights into how you managed it.

 Maybe instead of a therapist you need a life coach or success coach. 

Another option is just seeking a better network of like minded people. Entrepreneurs can feel alone if their friends and family and 9-5 W2 workers. Get active in Facebook groups that focus on FI or entrepreneurial.  Find local meet ups or other places to connect with like minded people. I believe once you surround yourself with people who better align with your thought process, it will fill the gap you are missing. Part of that may be cutting ties with people who are toxic or holding you back. 

I found BiggerPockets very helpful, because I am able to connect with other landlords. People in the same business as you understand you better. I have built friendships here and it has helped me not feel like that "strange person" who is on a different path. 

Daniel and Joe's advice seems appropriate and I would recommend before a therapist.  As you mentioned these items will be very foreign to a therapist.   


Maybe more color on what problem are you trying to struggling with as it was not clear to me.  

You have reached FI and you are struggling with life's purpose?

You need support in your goal to reach FI?

You need emotional support for entrepreneurial endeavors?

Yes, reached FI. No, not struggling with purpose. I've got purpose in excess. The other ?s are a no. It's more that I absolutely love what I do but there's an addictive element so I'll put in 16 hour days when I really don't need to. I am passionate, driven, and this process of renovating properties is the best work I've ever done. I've sought help before but most advice given usually makes me work harder. I am beyond happy with my work. I am fulfilled. I just need to slow down, focus on my health, and find a better... (I dislike the word balance). The last therapist told me to work harder to get it out of my system. The one before that said I wasn't working hard enough (because if I was, I would burn out & stop). I'd rather not drop dead on a job site and was hoping this group might have a lead or two. 

Originally posted by @Randy Bloch :

Daniel and Joe's advice seems appropriate and I would recommend before a therapist.  As you mentioned these items will be very foreign to a therapist.   


Maybe more color on what problem are you trying to struggling with as it was not clear to me.  

You have reached FI and you are struggling with life's purpose?

You need support in your goal to reach FI?

You need emotional support for entrepreneurial endeavors?

 

Originally posted by @Daniel McNulty :

@Cathy Malmrose

What else do you do besides work? Retiring or slowing down can cause an identity crisis for those who don’t have plans for the next chapter of life.

If the RE part of my life disappeared tomorrow, there are 2 other passion projects that would take their place immediately, not within a week or a year, but immediately. I am having a hard time exiting due an overly active work ethic & having difficulty getting off the racetrack. This work is so fun! I have turned over 1/2 my properties and my goal is to turn over the other 1/2 to a property manager this year, just can't find a good one (Lapeer) + sell the 3 project properties. Problem is they are sweet ones, bought for cheap so plenty wide margins to reno in strong markets. It's tempting work but the passion projects are where I really want to be. 

@Cathy Malmrose

I understand more about what you are talking about now. If you love what you are doing then keep doing it.  I always feel like it comes down to personality types.  I have had so many hobbies in my life that I am a jack of all trades master of none.

I love surfing but I am not a pro, I love running but I would never win a race, I love baseball, hiking, fishing, golfing.  All of these things I love to do.  My personality lets me jump from one to the other without batting an eye.

If you personality drives you to do real estate day in and day out and you still enjoy it then keep doing it.  In life there are no hard and fast rules about anything.  A philosophy professor once made a joking remark to me when I was 18 because he asked the class to write down our philosophy in life.  

All the other students wrote these elaborate stories and I wrote down "Whatever floats your boat".  His comment was that I was right, that everyone's philosophy in life is different and it all boils down to whatever floats your boat or whatever makes you happy or whatever motivates you to get up in the morning and continue on with life.

If real estate is that then keep doing what you are doing. 

I also held another belief that I read when I was 18 years old.  That the body will quit when too much pressure/pain/physical force is applied. This belief has let me run long distances out of breath and in pain, but I never quit because I knew that the only way I would quit is if my body gave out.

So for you I see you working until you have a significant emotional event or life altering event where you figure out that what you are doing is not providing the results that you once enjoyed mentally, physically, financially.  It will only be then that you will decide for yourself that it is time to stop.

No one else in the world can do that for you except yourself.

If you ever need any more of my ranting life advice feel free to PM me.  

I am 49 and 4 months away from retiring after a 30 year career so I have a little life experience.

Dom