Tenants From Hell Quotes

31 Replies

Best part about being a landlord is.....The money. It's definitely the money. The job is savage as savage can be lol. 

But somewhere in the top 10 you've got the wild things that your tenants will say to you. It's very interesting seeing how some folks think, live & behave. Here is a great quote with an accompanying photo. What are some of your favs? 

"It ain't my downstairs neighbor or anybody else's goddamn business if I don't use a showercurtain"

Totally understand, even though they live so close to others, they feel like it shouldn’t matter, nor do they care how their actions impact others. 

They come and go so quick, that I don’t have one at the moment that trumps this one, but I’ll keep following and respond in a day or so I’m sure.

Bruce

Originally posted by @Bruce Scannell :

Totally understand, even though they live so close to others, they feel like it shouldn’t matter, nor do they care how their actions impact others. 

They come and go so quick, that I don’t have one at the moment that trumps this one, but I’ll keep following and respond in a day or so I’m sure.

Bruce

Lol. I hear ya. I have forgotten more savageness then most people will see in their lifetime. 

Originally posted by @Dennis M. :

I hope you charged this idiot a fortune to fix his neighbors ceiling being it was his fault 

 One thing landlords who invest in low income properties need to learn really quick is that you cannot get water from a rock.

Originally posted by @James Wise :
Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

I hope you charged this idiot a fortune to fix his neighbors ceiling being it was his fault 

 One thing landlords who invest in low income properties need to learn really quick is that you cannot get water from a rock.

Yeah I realize that.. but you have his security deposit don’t you ?  

Originally posted by @Dennis M. :
Originally posted by @James Wise:
Originally posted by @Dennis M.:

I hope you charged this idiot a fortune to fix his neighbors ceiling being it was his fault 

 One thing landlords who invest in low income properties need to learn really quick is that you cannot get water from a rock.

Yeah I realize that.. but you have his security deposit don’t you ?  

 Yea but when a dummy who's doing that moves out there is going to be a lot more than $500-$600 worth of damage to the unit.

@James Wise

All right, I'll bite.

I had a young tenant who had recently gone through three jobs and was completely broke and living on the charity of his baby momma's mother pull up to where I was working on the house I rented the family. He was in a late-model Subaru with a gigantic panoramic sunroof that stretched across all the seats. So he hopped out of the car and started talking to me about his money problems. I looked over at the car and asked him if he still owed anything on it. "$6000," he told me. "I bought it for myself as a present out of college."

I remembered instantly that I too had bought myself a present out of college. A Seiko watch, I think it was $89.00, back in 1997. It was a good chunk out of the biweekly paycheck I got working the administrative temp job that I had at the Toshiba factory that summer. I had been tempted to buy a car, too, a well-used Geo Storm for $1500 cash, but I realized that was too extravagant and I could get by without one.

Without a beat, my tenant went right back to talking about his money problems. I put my head down and kept on working, tuning him out as he droned on and on about how unfair Murphy's Law had been to him while thinking to myself, "Keep your mouth shut, keep your mouth shut, this is how you get rich in America."

Originally posted by @Jim K. :

@James Wise

All right, I'll bite.

I had a young tenant who had recently gone through three jobs and was completely broke and living on the charity of his baby momma's mother pull up to where I was working on the house I rented the family. He was in a late-model Subaru with a gigantic panoramic sunroof that stretched across all the seats. So he hopped out of the car and started talking to me about his money problems. I looked over at the car and asked him if he still owed anything on it. "$6000," he told me. "I bought it for myself as a present out of college."

I remembered instantly that I too had bought myself a present out of college. A Seiko watch, I think it was $89.00, back in 1997. It was a good chunk out of the biweekly paycheck I got working the administrative temp job that I had at the Toshiba factory that summer. I had been tempted to buy a car, too, a well-used Geo Storm for $1500 cash, but I realized that was too extravagant and I could get by without one.

Without a beat, my tenant went right back to talking about his money problems. I put my head down and kept on working, tuning him out as he droned on and on about how unfair Murphy's Law had been to him while thinking to myself, "Keep your mouth shut, keep your mouth shut, this is how you get rich in America."

 I evicted a chick out of a $600/mo apartment earlier this year.

She was there on move out day crying & screaming while my crew threw all of her stuff in the tree lawn.

After awhile she got tired & drove off in her ESCALADE!

"Are you really evicting me for not paying $14?"  After tenant constantly refused to pay her part of the rent, only $14 a month.

While smoking a cigarette..."I won't have the money to buy the $1 AC filter until next month." 

"It is the landlord's responsibility to repair the holes in the sheetrock."  [hole caused by tenant]

"I don't have my rent money because the 4th of July is this month."

"I don't have the rent money because I had to buy school supplies."

"I don't have the rent because I had a high electric bill." [tenant who runs AC on 65 in the deep South during the Summer]

"I didn't break the window, the neighbor's kids hit from the outside with a ball." [window broken from the inside]

"You need to come unclog my kitchen sink ASAP, the smell is horrible." [sink had 3 lbs. of pasta in the pipes due tenant throwing it down the drain.]

"I flush grease down the sink with hot water.  It is not my fault the sewer line is plugged up, it is the landlord's fault."

"When do I get my deposit?" [While standing in 2 inches of water caused by the tenant flooding the apartment after they moved out]

"Why don't I get my deposit back?  I cleaned the place." [Tenant caused over $1000 worth of damage]

"No, I didn't try drano. I googled it-- I could die from sewer gas fumes". (Draino worked; He lived)

"I don't care if I am on parole, I'm going to punch you down".  Said in front of a uniformed fire inspector there to investigate that numerous BS complaints they had filed. The reason for the threat was that I had accused his girlfriend of stuffing a piece of spray foam back in the hole I had cut it out of weeks earlier, after they had complained it was blocking the gas shut-off for the stove. why they were concerned about the shut-off cannot be explained other than looking for something to harass me with. Their eviction was gratifying.

"I hear noises." It was noises in the tenants head... she just wanted to move out because of personal issues she was dealing with. We let her out of the lease early but not without securing a tenant to move in first.
"We're moving out next month." What about the balance of the lease? "Oh, we're on a month-to-month lease.." You might want to read your copy of the lease agreement again, because it is definitely a year-long lease. "No it's not!" ...?
Originally posted by @Arlan Potter :

"We don't use put baby wipes down the toilet"

 Lol, baby wipes down the toilet.....Never gets old. That one is definitely a frequent flyer for us. Here is one of our latest baby wipe adventures......Two dudes in this space. Not even a baby. Homey's need to lay off the spicy wings or somethin'.

Originally posted by @Jimmy Dang :
@James Wise is this the tenant that you posted on youtube?

 Yup. That one was one of our most popular. 150k+ views. Landlord's were disgusted by that Escalade & the bleeding hearts thought I was a huge jerk for posting it all online.

Side note, I think i'm buying myself an Escalade here in the near future. They've been running a 0% APR on the 2018 models last couple weeks...It's getting tempting.

Not exactly a quote, but I had a tenant send me a 2 page long email of things wrong with a unit a week after he signed the lease and moved in...and this is after he did a full walk through and signed off on everything being in fine condition.

I let him break the lease, and kept the security deposit for my wasted time. 

"I'm a contractor! I install septic systems! A good one should be able to handle baby wipes!" 

Um...yeah....ok. So.many.wipes. 

Sounds like a "Baby Wipes" lease addendum should be written!

Originally posted by @Grant D. :

Not exactly a quote, but I had a tenant send me a 2 page long email of things wrong with a unit a week after he signed the lease and moved in...and this is after he did a full walk through and signed off on everything being in fine condition.

I let him break the lease, and kept the security deposit for my wasted time. 

Isn't that just the worst?! 

I have a potential tenant who stated :  I'll only rent if ceiling fans are added to this vaulted ceiling, a slab extension so we can have barstools at the kitchen counter and one other item...

I stated that that would not be approved and she could choose to rent the home as is (Wonderful condition) or not at all.  I rented it to someone else that same day...

Originally posted by @Christine Kankowski :

I have a potential tenant who stated :  I'll only rent if ceiling fans are added to this vaulted ceiling, a slab extension so we can have barstools at the kitchen counter and one other item...

I stated that that would not be approved and she could choose to rent the home as is (Wonderful condition) or not at all.  I rented it to someone else that same day...

 Nothin' like good ole' Supply & Demand.

@James Wise I literally just added language to the plumbing clause of my lease after seeing those pics.