Tenants From Hell Quotes

31 Replies

Originally posted by @Wesley W. :

@James Wise I literally just added language to the plumbing clause of my lease after seeing those pics.

 That's cool & all but just remember the folks that create these situations aren't the folks who are going to read through the lease.

@James Wise My concern wasn't if they could read it in the lease they wouldn't do it because - let's be honest - you shouldn't need to read a clause in a lease to exercise common sense.  But you do need such a clause to convince a tenant-friendly judge that you are entitled to charge them based on your signed contract.  

  • "We're sorry we don't have the rent (usual sobbing). But you can keep all our stuff!"  SMH.  They were at least moving out before we had to file for eviction.  We responded, in no uncertain terms, we did not want their stuff.  That was more work for us.  Put it on the curb.  They actually did clean out some of the unit but, of course, left the majority for us to deal with.
  • At the beginning of month 3 on a 6-month lease.  They'd moved from OOS.  Which I've done a few times and it had always worked out well.  Until them.  "This place is lovely, but it is too small for my family. We want to find something else and live out our security deposit (which they hadn't even paid in full)."  I know, rookie mistake.  Explained that was not what a security deposit was for and gave them some other options.  "We've always lived out our SD."  Apparently they had already forgotten the reason they gave me for not paying the SD in full, is they would have the rest shortly, when their previous LL sent it.  As an aside, I'm also the rare bird who has a picture of the LAYOUT, in my ad, along with the exact square footage.
  • Angerly said, "What do you mean there are late fees!  You said we could pay you when we could, throughout the month."  WHAT?!?!  In what alternate reality did this happen?
  • "You know I would never do you guys like that!"  After calling me to make sure I'd gotten the rent check, because he'd dropped it off late in the evening on the last day of his Pay or Quit.  Didn't have the rent at all the next month, refused to leave, and we were forced to evict him.  He took it all the way to a constable visit.  But he "wouldn't do us like that", lmao. 
Originally posted by @Jennifer T. :
  • "We're sorry we don't have the rent (usual sobbing). But you can keep all our stuff!"  SMH.  They were at least moving out before we had to file for eviction.  We responded, in no uncertain terms, we did not want their stuff.  That was more work for us.  Put it on the curb.  They actually did clean out some of the unit but, of course, left the majority for us to deal with.
  • At the beginning of month 3 on a 6-month lease.  They'd moved from OOS.  Which I've done a few times and it had always worked out well.  Until them.  "This place is lovely, but it is too small for my family. We want to find something else and live out our security deposit (which they hadn't even paid in full)."  I know, rookie mistake.  Explained that was not what a security deposit was for and gave them some other options.  "We've always lived out our SD."  Apparently they had already forgotten the reason they gave me for not paying the SD in full, is they would have the rest shortly, when their previous LL sent it.  As an aside, I'm also the rare bird who has a picture of the LAYOUT, in my ad, along with the exact square footage.
  • Angerly said, "What do you mean there are late fees!  You said we could pay you when we could, throughout the month."  WHAT?!?!  In what alternate reality did this happen?
  • "You know I would never do you guys like that!"  After calling me to make sure I'd gotten the rent check, because he'd dropped it off late in the evening on the last day of his Pay or Quit.  Didn't have the rent at all the next month, refused to leave, and we were forced to evict him.  He took it all the way to a constable visit.  But he "wouldn't do us like that", lmao. 

 Pay throughout the month, lol. Been there. That one is a classic. Keep up the good work Jennifer.

Originally posted by @Jennifer T. :
  • "We're sorry we don't have the rent (usual sobbing). But you can keep all our stuff!"  SMH.  They were at least moving out before we had to file for eviction.  We responded, in no uncertain terms, we did not want their stuff.  That was more work for us.  Put it on the curb.  They actually did clean out some of the unit but, of course, left the majority for us to deal with.
  • At the beginning of month 3 on a 6-month lease.  They'd moved from OOS.  Which I've done a few times and it had always worked out well.  Until them.  "This place is lovely, but it is too small for my family. We want to find something else and live out our security deposit (which they hadn't even paid in full)."  I know, rookie mistake.  Explained that was not what a security deposit was for and gave them some other options.  "We've always lived out our SD."  Apparently they had already forgotten the reason they gave me for not paying the SD in full, is they would have the rest shortly, when their previous LL sent it.  As an aside, I'm also the rare bird who has a picture of the LAYOUT, in my ad, along with the exact square footage.
  • Angerly said, "What do you mean there are late fees!  You said we could pay you when we could, throughout the month."  WHAT?!?!  In what alternate reality did this happen?
  • "You know I would never do you guys like that!"  After calling me to make sure I'd gotten the rent check, because he'd dropped it off late in the evening on the last day of his Pay or Quit.  Didn't have the rent at all the next month, refused to leave, and we were forced to evict him.  He took it all the way to a constable visit.  But he "wouldn't do us like that", lmao. 

 We must share tenants. I had #1 happen a few months ago. Like great, so I can spend $2k trashing this place out, what an awesome trade-off. #3 happened just last week when we took over a distressed property. I introduce him to his written MTM lease. Tenant says, "I see I'm supposed to pay by the first, but just to let you know [as if this is negotiable], I would just pay throughout the month and the owner would come by and pick up what I could give him at that time each week." Yea, that's not happening.

Here's another one from a distressed takeover:

Notice of Non-renewal immediately issued upon taking over (inherited tenant), as the rest of the unit was just as nasty as this rear porch. Tenant is LIVID. "You had better give me back my deposit AND reimburse me for these blinds I had to buy. They're custom so its not like I can just take them with."

@Matthew Olszak Those are custom blinds ! Where does a guy get a set like that ? I had a tenant text me that the window will not stay in the house it keeps falling out ! I’m like what ! Those are newer vinyl windows ! then later I realized what he meant -that it was just a screen he pushed out trying to force a giant fan in the window frame ! Good thing it’s 35 dangerous feet off the ground to put back in . Another time a tenant texts me the roof has fallen in . I’m like “ what! It’s got a newer roof on it!” RUSH over ..Turns out it was some loose plaster in the entry that fell down ( when they moved a frIdge) and I swept it up with a dustpan and spackled the ceiling. These people will give you a heartache because they are so dumb

At eviction hearing:

Tenant to Judge: I read online that he can't evict me because the unit is not suitable to live in and I used to pay the water bill.

Judge: Did you consult an actual lawyer?

Tenant: Ummm, well no

Me: Trying not to laugh

Judge to Tenant: You have five days to move out for non-payment of rent.