I knew this would happen eventually, but I still don't know how to overcome it mentally.  My goal is to grow my business (currently 3 rental properties) and work on systems and whatnot, yet I'm deeply troubled by one of my tenants. I've had a nightmare or two, even 2-3 months after the incident. 

Apparently I'm a conscientious person and assume others would appreciate that I care about them and the property they reside (I own and manage).  I literally walked into this one.  My B+/A- property is in a good area with high income earners and generally well educated people with good social skills.  However my new tenants just had a baby 2 weeks prior, and I went to inspect the house, as agreed, and they happened to be home and watch me like a hawk.  The new mother got very angry with me being there doing my job, didn't understand why I needed to be there, and was aggressively demanding that I leave them alone!  She was staring daggers at me, making noises at me, yelling, that sort of stuff.  So uncouth for our higher-end market.  Thankfully I stayed cool while my blood boiled.  She thought I was looking through all her things and invading her space.  It's more like I was looking beyond her things to check for leaks and mold - you know the drill.  I found 3 rats under the house, collected them, got rid of them, and instead of a thank you, they just verbally pushed me out and asked that I do not come back until our lease is up and demanded that I agree not to visit until the lease is up (9 more months).  We verbally agreed before renting that I would inspect quarterly, so I asked that we hold off on that decision.

She did acknowledge that she is a new mother with emotions running wild, but nonetheless, it really left a deep imprint on me.  I feel offended by her behavior towards me.  Not only should we aim to have a good working relationship, but I've done nothing but be friendly and helpful at every opportunity, even distancing myself as much as reasonable.  However she felt that I invaded her living space (again, we agreed on the inspection beforehand).

So now I'm confused what to do.  If they don't want to tell me anything about the property, how will I know the condition?  They claim that they know how to keep a house, but I don't accept them to manage my 900k property.  It's too important that I need to manage it.  Maybe a 50k home I would entertain letting my tenants self-manage, but not in this case for obvious reasons.  And besides, I am the business owner, I determine how to conduct business.  But I find myself considering their emotions/thoughts way too much.  I'm still trying to be such a nice guy.  Part of the problem is that my wife and I lived in the house, and when we moved out, we moved them in (so they know we are the owners).  The cash-flow is not good enough for an 8% fee property manager, though I'm considering taking the hit for the greater business goals.

Anyway, I think she is just a really mean person at heart, and while I really shouldn't care as long as they pay the rent and take care of the house from a renters perspective (they do seem to be doing that perfectly), part of me does not want to rent to her anymore.  I don't need that in my life.  I'm trying to help people have a place to live and they treat me like crap for it?  However, I feel that some owners would love them for not bothering them, paying on time, and keeping the home nice for their high standard of living.  Really great qualities, right?

I understand that to grow, I need to let go of these emotions and think bigger and focus on the business.  Please, do you have advice on how to "not care" about emotional baggage in this game?  Real estate is my new hobby/career and I want to continue to love it, but my concerns about management have been shown to be an issue for me, but oddly a personal and emotional one, which should be easier to get over (or so I thought).  Any helpful ideas on approaching the tenants for our next interaction and how to treat them in general at this point?  Perhaps the friendliness is not warranted and I just tell them what I need to do, but I don't want to hear more of that offensive talk towards me when I'm there.