My mom went to bed angry...

30 Replies

My family started a wholesaling business and we're progressing well. We are a part of a wholesaler team here in town, multiple wholesaling companies that operate independently but JV on deals regularly, and we tend to help each other out by sharing information, strategies, etc. That being the case, we attract buy and hold investors to our meetings as well.

A friend of mine is a buy and hold investor who, like us, is looking to purchase multi family for cash flow and we’re working together to develop a mastermind. Well, my brother and I are working with him.

This investor asked if he could ride around while we drive for dollars and if I could outline how Podio operates, so as to get a better understanding of what we do as wholesalers and how he can use Podio to his advantage. I agreed and we scheduled it for Monday. I then get to my moms house later that evening to learn that she’s gone to bed livid that we’d do such a thing, because we’re helping the competition. No doubt she’s seeing the deals that we would NOT get, if this person was to start wholesaling.

In my mind, I’m developing a relationship with a potential partner and, even if he does start wholesaling, we would appeal to different sellers. There’s plenty of deals out there and money to be made, so why not give and teach in order to help develop someone so they can reach their goals, especially if they’re similar to ours? There’s business practices and plans that I will obviously keep to myself.

Am I wrong in this? Should I be seeing everyone as potential or actual competition?

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation and been able to develop the idea of reciprocity in their partner?

Thanks in advance.

Hi Scott,

Maybe you should call her up and ask her to go out to breakfast with you (at her favorite restaurant) and start the process of hashing this out between the two of you.

Good Luck!

Hey Scott,

I think you know the answer on that one, and that's the fact that there's plenty of deals to go around! This is a relationship business, and if the newbie can bring you a JV deal or two you'd be well compensated for driving around with him for an hour.

I've gotten to a point where I can't accommodate most coffee requests, and I don't feel that you have to give at that level all of the time. But for someone to ride along and pick your brain, I don't think any of your partners should get mad at you for that.

Keep up the good work!

Originally posted by @Scott Johnson :

My family started a wholesaling business and we're progressing well. We are a part of a wholesaler team here in town, multiple wholesaling companies that operate independently but JV on deals regularly, and we tend to help each other out by sharing information, strategies, etc. That being the case, we attract buy and hold investors to our meetings as well.

A friend of mine is a buy and hold investor who, like us, is looking to purchase multi family for cash flow and we’re working together to develop a mastermind. Well, my brother and I are working with him.

This investor asked if he could ride around while we drive for dollars and if I could outline how Podio operates, so as to get a better understanding of what we do as wholesalers and how he can use Podio to his advantage. I agreed and we scheduled it for Monday. I then get to my moms house later that evening to learn that she’s gone to bed livid that we’d do such a thing, because we’re helping the competition. No doubt she’s seeing the deals that we would NOT get, if this person was to start wholesaling.

In my mind, I’m developing a relationship with a potential partner and, even if he does start wholesaling, we would appeal to different sellers. There’s plenty of deals out there and money to be made, so why not give and teach in order to help develop someone so they can reach their goals, especially if they’re similar to ours? There’s business practices and plans that I will obviously keep to myself.

Am I wrong in this? Should I be seeing everyone as potential or actual competition?

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation and been able to develop the idea of reciprocity in their partner?

Thanks in advance.

 Listen to your mom, she's right.

@James Wise   NO kidding last thing you want to do is train your competition.

unless the market has literally 1000s of vacant homes.. there is uber competition for great deals.

to do this on the hopes of a deal or two..  the flip side is you teach him and the next thing you know your competing.

its why when I bought courthouse steps.. we don't talk to anyone who asks questions.. I just reply nicely its all public record

Originally posted by @Jay Hinrichs :

@James Wise  NO kidding last thing you want to do is train your competition.

unless the market has literally 1000s of vacant homes.. there is uber competition for great deals.

to do this on the hopes of a deal or two..  the flip side is you teach him and the next thing you know your competing.

its why when I bought courthouse steps.. we don't talk to anyone who asks questions.. I just reply nicely its all public record

 Lol exactly. Realtors have this mentality too. Well I guess that makes sense considering all the wholesalers in this thread are doing is acting as unlicensed Realtors but that is a topic for another day.......Anyways back to the topic at hand. I used to maintain a decent roster of Realtors at my brokerage. At one point I think I had 50 or so. No more. Good god I hated that aspect of the business. The turnover was insane & the miss appropriation of time & resources was enough to make you want to smash your head into a wall.

Too many Realtors think that other Realtors are their friends & that part of the job is to network with other Realtors. In reality that is the furthest thing from the truth. One Realtor who used to work at my firm, this girl bless her heart I see her social media feed & every week it's something ridiculous that she is doing. Dancing with the Realtors, Realtor Prom, Realtor mixers & some random Realtor networking event where the only people there are other Realtors.

Guys if their is a room full of Realtors & you are a Realtor you DO NOT want to be in that room. You want to be in a room with potential clients. Same thing we have here. Your job is to find buyers & sellers. Do that & nothing else.

@Scott Johnson

I am a strong believer in networking, especially as a wholesaler. I feel it is essential to building and maintaining a successful business. Regardless of how many systems you have to produce leads and how hard you work those leads, you simply can't get to them all. Having a network of wholesalers that can work together when needed, is an invaluable resource. 

Here is an example of how this effort to network can pay off, in a big way.

In 2005 or 2006, I was just a year into wholesaling and though I was comfortable with what I knew, I was still learning. I had a friend of a friend ask me to help him understand wholesaling, so I did my best. I spent hours telling him all that I knew to that point, and even did a bit of driving to help him spot vacant properties. I never gave any thought about it after it was done. 

It was 2 months later I guess, when I get an invite to have a drink and discuss a client that had reached out to him. This client was from out of state and wanted to invest. At the time, he was not working wholesaling full time and wanted to know if I had any houses at the time, as this investor wanted to buy 2 to start with. I had them and we partnered on the deal and each made a few thousand dollars on each property. It was what happened in the following months, that made me realize why it's important to network.

It started with a request from this investor for us to visit California, as he had some friends that wanted to learn more about our process. We were informed that there would be 13 interested parties, at dinner. When we arrived at the restaurant, there was actually 19 people seated. That dinner led to a request by 16 of those investors to find them houses, as quickly as we could. I scrambled to try and find anywhere near 16 properties, but had no luck until I picked up the phone and called another wholesaler, that I had known locally. She told me of a local bank that was holding 32 defaulted notes and agreed to walk me in for a conversation. The deal was struck and 7 days after that, I sold 27 properties in 7 minutes, by email. 

That several hours of "free" education, netted all of us high 5 figure assignment fee, each. 

Obviously, this is a unique situation and has not even come close to replicating itself, since. However, I don't need good networking to produce at that level, for me to say it's worth it. If I can make a few thousand dollars by answering the phone or an email, sign me up. 

As broad as the wholesale community is, when you filter it down to the local levels, it is a small small community. Those that strive to maintain professional relationships, know the value that having someone that can get you what you need, is priceless. 

"My advice for folks on networking is give, give, give. You will later receive. But you are really planting these seeds. Some of them will die, and they won't become anything. Many of them will take many, many years before they pay off for you if at all." - Sallie Krawcheck

John

When someone wants to pick my brain or ride along,  I'll say sure.  Just go to the library, borrow an RE book and read it first.  I'll discuss with you for 15 minutes after you're done.  

I may even name the book, or if I had authored a book or had web content out there they would be viewing that first as skin in the game.  Puts the ball in their court  so you aren't the bad guy for not helping for free.  Also gives focus and a timeline to your assistance.  

@Steve Vaughan that’s normally what I do! I also carry around copies of RDPD to give to people, so I’ll slang one their way and tell them to call me when they’re done 😂

Since this guy is already a buy and hold investor who’s looking to grow, I figured it was beneficial for both of us.

It’s interesting that all of the “don’t train a competitor” responses are from brokers 🤔

Originally posted by @Scott Johnson :

@Steve Vaughan that’s normally what I do! I also carry around copies of RDPD to give to people, so I’ll slang one their way and tell them to call me when they’re done 😂

Since this guy is already a buy and hold investor who’s looking to grow, I figured it was beneficial for both of us.

It’s interesting that all of the “don’t train a competitor” responses are from brokers 🤔

 A couple of those brokers in there have several hundred million in investor sales under their belts.....Who you're listening too is often more important that what you're listening too. 🤔

@James Wise I disagree have a good relationships with others broker “my competition” we share each other off market deals that we get. We all end up better off. I get a first look at deals other people won’t ever see and can pass them on to my best clients. These relationships will make me way more money than they cost.

Take the lesson and tear into it. Your moms reaction comes from her past, ( you know her)  what’s she has learned ,what’s happened to her in life and business and how she sees the world because of it ! IMO no right or wrong , you have plenty of reply’s down below about that aspect! What does your mom need to feel safe in the business what do you need to feel true to yourself? My guess is you land in the middle on your choice . It’s not always a black and white answer. I do believe You have to honor mom .  Are you really going to give away secrets on your process ? Is it unique to you? Does your mom have ownership of this?  did you learn this from her ? 

This is about boundaries and relationships as I am learning even at my age is more important than I really understood ! Look at this as a great life 

lesson .  You may in this just help or give Mom a chance to see the world in a different way . Or it may be you standing on your own life perspective . Yes you have a perspective that is awesome but your mom has just as valuable perspective to share . I say give your mom a few days on this,  before you dig into it or it could get worse before it gets better . Face the lesson and mine the gold in it ! 

@Scott Johnson if your mom is apart of your business and you are apart of hers then you might need to consider her opinion. Sure you can do what you want then post on BP as a sweetheart and find someone to agree with you, but that doesn’t make it right. 

If you was my partner in business and your shared my business insights with the competition without talking to me about it first then I would think very dark thoughts of you. 

What if your mom gave out your credit card number and pin to who ever she thought was such a nice person?

@Scott Johnson

I think you did the right thing.  It's better to give than to receive.

Having a scarcity mindset can stifle your growth, and block your blessings.

You're going to protect your trade secrets, and everyone has the right to do that... it's fair and reasonable.

You'll be rewarded for helping others and paying it forward.

You did a good thing. Hopefully, it'll be reciprocated, but if not, it's all good.

Bless you, Scott! ;)

Originally posted by @Storm S. :

@James Wise I disagree have a good relationships with others broker “my competition” we share each other off market deals that we get. We all end up better off. I get a first look at deals other people won’t ever see and can pass them on to my best clients. These relationships will make me way more money than they cost.

 I'd be interested in hearing if you still feel this way after or if you get to $50M+ in sales. There are a few things in your comment that you're currently doing wrong that will inhibit your ability to grow your business. No sense arguing about it now though. Come back to me if/when you've hit that benchmark.

@James Wise the last off market deal a broker brought me was a 9M dollar apartment complex in town about a month ago. So getting to 50M shouldn’t take that long. The firm I’m with has done over 200M in the last two years. We get a lot of stuff from other brokers. Like other have pointed out no matter how good your system for generating leads is you can’t get them all.

Originally posted by @Storm S. :

@James Wise the last off market deal a broker brought me was a 9M dollar apartment complex in town about a month ago. So getting to 50M shouldn’t take that long. The firm I’m with has done over 200M in the last two years. We get a lot of stuff from other brokers. Like other have pointed out no matter how good your system for generating leads is you can’t get them all. 

Networking as agents that are LEGALLY licensed is completely different than the ILLEGAL wholesaling that goes on especially in low end markets or middle markets.. of course brokers network.. the MLS is one huge networking system.. the point is when your buying your own off market deals you don't usually want to give your secrets to your competition that's industrial espionage in reverse LOL

When I first got into the business, most every older landlord tried to discourage me from getting into rental properties. Many people have scarcity mentality. They believe that if others succeed, it will hurt their own success. Nothing could be further from the truth. One of my favorite Zig Ziglar quotes, "You will get all you want in life, if you help enough others get what they want." 

I get contacted by local investors looking for help or advice in getting started. I always offer suggestions and help. My wife asked me why I was helping the competition (sound familiar). What I found is that none of the people I offered help to ever even purchased a rental property. 

The defining factor of success is not knowledge, but rather action. That "competitor" will succeed with or without you (or fail with or without you). Wouldn't you rather have a competitor who respects you and works with you? 

If you help people, they help you. It is that simple.

@Jay Hinrichs I agree with this. We keep the best deals for ourself. But we don’t have unlimited capital, and can only work on so many projects at the same time. So we often pass on great deals to our preferred clients and brokers. As a result other brokers pass on great deals to us. We don’t have wholesalers in Santa Barbara so I only work with other brokers.

Originally posted by @Storm S. :

@James Wise the last off market deal a broker brought me was a 9M dollar apartment complex in town about a month ago. So getting to 50M shouldn’t take that long. The firm I’m with has done over 200M in the last two years. We get a lot of stuff from other brokers. Like other have pointed out no matter how good your system for generating leads is you can’t get them all.

 Let's pick this up when you get there.

Following the trend, developing relationships is key in real estate, especially if you are growing successfully. As long as you don't give away anything proprietary, she shouldn't get mad at you for that. I would urge you to dig deeper and see if that is the only thing that is upsetting her. Chances are, there could be something else that is nagging her. Good luck!

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