People Asking to be Mentored

22 Replies

I've had a few people ask me if I would be willing to mentor them in wholesaling when they see my profile or see a sign off the street. I'm curious what you guys do or think when someone does this. To be honest, I won't even give them much time because I hate when people just ask to be coached in anything. I'm a believer in you just do it, then someone will notice your efforts and will help guide you, but no one really mentors when someone asks (unless there is a monetary incentive in it). I'm just curious as what you other experienced wholesalers do when someone asks you for coaching. 

Hey @Jacob Maes !

I am not a wholesaler but I do receive similar requests from time to time. 

Some folks send a 1-2 line message asking for help. These messages typically come from people who are just curious and have little or no direction, no clear goals, no idea how to start and little or no initiative. Oftentimes just a waste of time. I answer these messages with a few questions and most people fade away before we can have meaningful conversation. 

Others seem to have more of a goal or plan in mind. Some want to wholesale, others want to become Realtors and the rest are considering both. I typically hop on a call with them to go over their long-term goals and help them in any way I can.  By adding as much value as I can and introducing folks to people I think can help them better than I, become their 'go-to' person for all things Real Estate.

I don't expect anything from these conversations and I am grateful that this approach has led to great local relationships, clients, referrals and positive reviews online. All of which have a great impact on my business.

I hope this helps!

Originally posted by @Jacob Maes :

I've had a few people ask me if I would be willing to mentor them in wholesaling when they see my profile or see a sign off the street. I'm curious what you guys do or think when someone does this. To be honest, I won't even give them much time because I hate when people just ask to be coached in anything. I'm a believer in you just do it, then someone will notice your efforts and will help guide you, but no one really mentors when someone asks (unless there is a monetary incentive in it). I'm just curious as what you other experienced wholesalers do when someone asks you for coaching. 

 I always try to help. What I often do is give them a simple task like start with a domain name and get a website. When you are done with that get back to me.

The action takers will get more help from me. 99% of the people won't take action and then it is on them. I am a firm believer in helping others for free... NOT at my expense if they are not serious enough, and don't realize that if you don't do the work you are wasting my valuable time.

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I actually blindly reached out to someone in a Facebook group to help me get started in wholesaling. Not only have we closed over $100k together,  but we are good friends and I now buy some of my deals from them. 

I always go the extra mile, if someone is serious. I can see how it may be annoying, but I also always choose to see the best in people, as opposed to the worst. I was helped for free, but then in turn moved all deals back to him because he had buyers and I didn't. 

Work hard, bless more. 

Wishing you the best of luck. 

@Jacob Maes I've had great experiences and bad experiences.  I feel like 90-to-95% of the kids who are excited about wholesaling are ones who think it's easy money, because they see some YouTube videos and see the lifestyle of some of the wholesalers that flash their exotic cars and big checks on Instagram.  So if they want me to mentor them, I give them a couple shots and if they flake, I don't give any more shots.  Consistency is everything, as us experienced guys know.  If they go on a dialer for two hours and complain about not getting any leads and want to give up, and they still feel that same way after I explain to them it's not that easy, then they are not the right one for this business.

I agree with @Jerryll Noorden that most people don't take action. My wife asks why I agree to help people and I told her, because nobody follows through. I get nice guy credit for offering help, but never have to do anything, haha. The secret to success is amazingly simple. Take massive action. I have seen some very average people succeed in business simply because they never quit.

I think part of the problem is people think mentoring = do the hard work for me. It doesn't.

The other thing I get all the time is people asking if they can get coffee to "pick my brain". In other words, we get coffee and I share all my knowledge. Sometimes they offer to pay for coffee and other times not. Please never offer to "pick my brain". If you want to pick my brain, read one of my 9000 posts on BiggerPockets. Some day they will use that to make a robotic version of me called Joe Splitrock 2.0 and Jerryll will write the code.

Originally posted by @Joe Splitrock :

I agree with @Jerryll Noorden that most people don't take action. My wife asks why I agree to help people and I told her, because nobody follows through. I get nice guy credit for offering help, but never have to do anything, haha. The secret to success is amazingly simple. Take massive action. I have seen some very average people succeed in business simply because they never quit.

I think part of the problem is people think mentoring = do the hard work for me. It doesn't.

The other thing I get all the time is people asking if they can get coffee to "pick my brain". In other words, we get coffee and I share all my knowledge. Sometimes they offer to pay for coffee and other times not. Please never offer to "pick my brain". If you want to pick my brain, read one of my 9000 posts on BiggerPockets. Some day they will use that to make a robotic version of me called Joe Splitrock 2.0 and Jerryll will write the code.

 Dude, you nailed it! But if you give me the power to write your code... YOU WILL regret it. I am one demented lil creature!

@Jacob Maes I think it’s flattering when someone asks me for help. I always try my best to accommodate. 1 life…why not live it serving and helping others, while becoming very wealthy :)

Win win !

@Abel Curiel I like that strategy. Ya I always just hurry off the phone cause most people are just more curious so it's a waste of my time. But I like the goal questions and testing the waters to see who's serious about actually getting started, and like you said, could lead to some great relationships!

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Originally posted by @Jacob Maes :

@Joe Splitrock when someone says "I want to pick your brain" I almost immediately hang up lol but I'll give them some action steps! Thank you. 

Maybe a brain massage is better than picking?

Originally posted by @Jacob Maes :

I've had a few people ask me if I would be willing to mentor them in wholesaling when they see my profile or see a sign off the street. I'm curious what you guys do or think when someone does this. To be honest, I won't even give them much time because I hate when people just ask to be coached in anything. I'm a believer in you just do it, then someone will notice your efforts and will help guide you, but no one really mentors when someone asks (unless there is a monetary incentive in it). I'm just curious as what you other experienced wholesalers do when someone asks you for coaching. 

I do not do wholesaling but I do get a lot of people reaching out to me wanting to take me out to coffee or to schedule phone calls to pick my brain on real estate investing and I always decline.  I'm more than happy to point them to specific forum posts on bigger pockets that I've made or answer any questions that they message me as I get around to them, but both my professional life and non professional life is busy enough as it is.  I know from mentoring new associates as an attorney just how time consuming a mentoring relationship can be, and while I think they are wonderful, if I know I don't have the time to engage in one I won't even begin one.  I also find that most people who have reached out just haven't spent enough of their own time doing the research, they would just rather have information spoon fed to them.  Everything one needs to know about almost every aspect of real estate investing is available free on the internet.

I get requests for other real estate things, not wholeselling.  But they either want to meet and discuss things or they want to schedule an hour or two on the phone to chat.  I can not do either of those things.  An hour on the phone with a toddler in the house is a big disaster.  And going somewhere to meet a stranger is not something I am comfortable with, and then I'd have to take that toddler.  So I generally just let people know what I can do--I can message back and forth on a phone or computer, but that is about it, and then it has to be when I can, not scheduled.  

And so far, these seem to end up with a 'will you fund me in this' request.  When I say Nope, I buy cash, do not work with others on my investments, work with low risk, and definitely would consider a newby investor a high risk anyway.  Then I never hear from them again.

So, it seems that they want me to tell them what to do at every step, fund them doing it, then trust them to actually do it, and do it well enough to sell it at a profit someday, and let them make a big profit, then if all that works they will give me my money back with a little interest for a big risk.  NOPE!

Originally posted by @Jerryll Noorden :
Originally posted by @Jacob Maes:

I've had a few people ask me if I would be willing to mentor them in wholesaling when they see my profile or see a sign off the street. I'm curious what you guys do or think when someone does this. To be honest, I won't even give them much time because I hate when people just ask to be coached in anything. I'm a believer in you just do it, then someone will notice your efforts and will help guide you, but no one really mentors when someone asks (unless there is a monetary incentive in it). I'm just curious as what you other experienced wholesalers do when someone asks you for coaching. 

 I always try to help. What I often do is give them a simple task like start with a domain name and get a website. When you are done with that get back to me.

The action takers will get more help from me. 99% of the people won't take action and then it is on them. I am a firm believer in helping others for free... NOT at my expense if they are not serious enough, and don't realize that if you don't do the work you are wasting my valuable time.

I'm asking for help: What are the two hottest keywords you use for PPC?

Originally posted by @Mike Hern:
Originally posted by @Jerryll Noorden:
Originally posted by @Jacob Maes:

I've had a few people ask me if I would be willing to mentor them in wholesaling when they see my profile or see a sign off the street. I'm curious what you guys do or think when someone does this. To be honest, I won't even give them much time because I hate when people just ask to be coached in anything. I'm a believer in you just do it, then someone will notice your efforts and will help guide you, but no one really mentors when someone asks (unless there is a monetary incentive in it). I'm just curious as what you other experienced wholesalers do when someone asks you for coaching. 

 I always try to help. What I often do is give them a simple task like start with a domain name and get a website. When you are done with that get back to me.

The action takers will get more help from me. 99% of the people won't take action and then it is on them. I am a firm believer in helping others for free... NOT at my expense if they are not serious enough, and don't realize that if you don't do the work you are wasting my valuable time.

I'm asking for help: What are the two hottest keywords you use for PPC? 

@Jerryll Noorden says; "I always try to help." So, I ask him for help "What are the two hottest keywords you use for PPC? " and I get crickets.

"Ahhh, he promises so much and delivers so little. ;-) Oh that's right, he's promoting a service. So, it's not really helping, it's marketing. Got it.

All kidding aside, here is what really happens regarding mentoring:

I have 25 years of buying and selling properties experience. Someone on BP was whining that they couldn't find a mentor that wasn't $10,000. So, I offered on BP, to train people, For Free on how to buy properties "off market" using little cash. The only catch was that we split the profits 50/50. There were no upfront fees and I'd provide the capital and the training.

I had 12 takers from all over the country, from New Orleans, Chicago, San Antonio, Dallas, Nashville, Seattle, Albany, Amarillo, El Paso, Charleston, Columbus, Indianapolis etc, etc.

I gave an overview and all agreed to the program. I started by explaining what the fundamentals are, how to do the paperwork and how to find leads, what to say to the sellers and so on.

Everything was going great until we got to actually talking to prospective sellers.

A month in, only two, a guy from Chicago and a guy from San Antonio would actually call prospective sellers. Everybody else dropped out at that point. (Too busy they said, not a good personal time to do this they said) and other excuses.

The guy from Chicago got hung up on NOT going more than 10 miles from his home and wasn't able to find a property that wasn't ridiculously expensive. The guy in San Antonio did a bit better but every property he looked at was on the MLS. The whole point was to buy OFF market, not the MLS. He couldn't wrap his mind around talking to people who hadn't listed. Within another month he was gone.

Would I do that exercise again? Probably not. I spent too much time taking their phone calls, teaching, mentoring, encouraging and I was very nice through the whole process, they simply didn't follow through.

My question is that, since 90% of people won't follow through (and that is not the mentor's fault) that is statistics, why spend the time with people not committed to the objective? I'm rich because I did the work, I stuck to the objective and I learned as I went. It isn't any different than any other endeavor. It takes work and perseverance and if you stay the course you win. If you flame out you're a wannabe.

@Jacob Maes    My thought is the best mentors/mentees are not assigned or paid.  Coaching....maybe you pay them.   Mentorship is more of a relationship that develops over time.

I saw some stats the other day that said something like 80% of the new agents are gone the 1st year, and 80% of those left leave the business year 2...so I would expect it is the same with wholesalers, so tough to want to invest a whole lot of time in someone that will not be in business in 2 years.

Maybe you could develop some tasks you want to do, but don't have time for....and let them tackle those for you.

Building some kind of database.

Driving for dollars.

Skip Tracing.

Calling/Prospecting.

Viewing homes with a checklist, taking pictures, and videos.

@Jacob Maes I agree completely. Seems like people just want to be told what to do, and not put the work in.

Do the work, learn some lessons, then go from there. Networking takes effort, and may lead to a mentor, but I think that needs to come naturally, not with a call or message just asking for it out of the blue.

I've been around here for a long time now and I get asked these questions to help/mentor/pick my brain/you name it. I help when and where I can but the experiences noted above tells it all. Very few stay the course, put in the work and are willing to ride out the emotional rollercoaster of failure X 10, failure X10, failure X 10, win, failure X 10, failure X 10, failure X 10, win.

I give as much time as i can here on BP answering questions and providing feedback and insight from my experiences over the years. I am still here because I have the determination to succeed, the desire to win and the family to feed. Most people give up or drop out and that is the sad truth.