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Posted almost 9 years ago

Why I was glad to see my (future) tenant nunchucking shirtless at cops

So last Saturday I attended the inspection on a fourplex I have under contract here in Des Moines. I'd toured the building a week prior and met all the tenants except the absent one in unit #3, so I was looking forward to meeting him this time around. As I walked into his unit I was greeted by the tenant, a tall bearded heavyset man in his late forties, resembling 'Hodor' from Game of Thrones. He was incredibly polite and soft-spoken with a charming Kentucky drawl, replying "yes sir" to every question I asked. I liked him instantly. I even specifically remember thinking at the time that he seemed like a great tenant to inherit. After leaving his unit we headed upstairs to inspect the other units. Maybe twenty minutes later the entire fourplex began vibrating to the music of Hank Williams, courtesy of Hodor in unit #3, who was backing up Hank on vocals at the top of his lungs. Mind you, we could hear this clear as day in the attic, two floors above his unit, no joke. We next made our way to the basement, by which time Hodor had stopped singing and was now, just as loudly, screaming at some woman 'Jerry Springer Style' in his unit above us. After wrapping things up in the basement we headed outside to sign some paperwork. At that point a stranger and his family pulled in front of the fourplex, parking on the street just in front of us. The stranger got out of the car and started walking up to the unit next to Hodor's. Like a rabid moose, Hodor barged out of his door and ran straight at the stranger, screaming obscenities and threats as he closed the distance between them. With Hodor on his heels, the stranger wisely ran to his car, seeking refuge. At this moment Hodor turned around and ran inside his unit, emerging a minute later with two sets of nunchucks. Yes, nunchucks... Double-fisted. He then made his way to the center of the front yard, where he slowly and dramatically removed his 'Duck Dynasty' T-shirt, and began awkwardly flinging his nunchucks in all directions while repeatedly shouting, 'YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?!?" to the stranger and his children sitting in a parked car. One of the many spectating neighbors had evidently called the police, who, at this very moment, were pulling in front of the house in two cruisers to find my future tenant furiously nunchucking bare-chested on the front lawn. It was then that I realized a few things...

1) Obviously Hodor is a red flag. Tenants like this are bad for business. His behavior impacts the other tenants & neighbors, and diminishes the perception of the property in the eyes of the local community. 

2) I would need to try and remedy this problem before I take possession of the property. I knew that Hodor was on a month-to-month lease, and I was still 50-60 days from closing. So I came up with a potential solution and pitched it to the seller. I would increase the earnest money deposit from $1,000 to $8,000 if he would have Hodor moved out before I take possession of the property. They agreed and I got it in writing that the deal is contingent upon his removal before possession. As such the seller has more security that the deal will go through, and I've avoided inheriting a red flag tenant that may have nunchucked me. Sounds like a win/win to me.

3) Seeing my future tenant nunchucking shirtless, trying to fight a stranger in front of his children was a blessing in disguise. By witnessing Hodor's actions in the front yard, I was alerted to a major problem in time to find a creative solution for solving it. Had I not been there I would have certainly inherited him as a tenant, and he would have been my problem... nunchucks and all.


Comments (11)

  1. This is hilarious!


  2. Thanks folks, glad you all enjoyed it!

  3. Pics or it didn't happen! :-D


    1. Trust me, if I had a photo it would be my profile pic. 


  4. I knew I was going to love this just from the title. The earnest money deal is an added bonus. 


  5. Haha. Good Story!


  6. LOL, great post, thanks!!!


  7. Good reading. He could have made a good rent collector. Hodor the super.

  8. Ha!! Enjoyed reading this!


  9. LOL good stuff thanks for the post:)